~What if he's not playing you ? What if everything he tells you is true? You so used to a Fuck nigga , you can't recognize a REAL nigga ~
*Brooklynn*
I walked through the crowded hallways for school. It was a lot going on because we had to take graduation picture and stuff like buy our year books. I want a year book. Despite everything I went through I feel like I couldn't get through it without God.
"Hey brook"
I looked over to see Paige with this boy
"Hey Paige" I grabbed my books out
"I'll see you at lunch" she said before leaving
What was that about ?
I closed my locker and walked to English class. I sat in the back and completed the work that was on the board. Our teacher wasn't here so we had a lot of work to do. Kayden came in pretty late and he looked ..... high. His eyes were red and low. I hope he hasn't been smoking.
"Kayden ....are you okay?" The teacher asked putting a hand on his shoulder
He nodded and put his head down. I went back to my work and tried to just keep my mind away from stuff. him, away from our kiss, my mom, Braylenn, college ... everything.
"Ms.troyer can I use the bathroom?" The girl Cheyenne asked
"Yes you may" she confirmed
Cheyenne got up and her eyes landed on me. She swiftly flipped her hair behind her shoulder and rolled her eyes at me. I could care less what she had against me but I'm not her little punk. I rolled my eyes back then looked away. I heard the door shut and the class remained silent.
"Okay class... your seniors and will be graduating in a few days. now's the time to pass your classes and apply for colleges if your thinking about it"
Everyone nodded and some just didn't care. I did so I paid close attention. Ms. troyer was always my favorite teacher, no matter what she made sure I was focused so I could pass. I finished my work and just put my pencil down.
"Your done Ms.Jones?" She asked
"Yes" I said
She tapped her pin on my desk "Can you help any one that needs help? Since your done"
I sighed and nodded . She walked away leaving me there really not wanting to. I got up and walked around the class looking for any one who needed help. A lot of the girls just looked at me disgusted and most was doing it themselves. I went over to Kayden who looked distant from his work. Like he was thinking of something.
"Kayden. Do you need help?" I asked.
He looked up at me at me for awhile "Y-yeah."
I sat next to him and looked at his work. He only did 1-7 and they were all wrong. I looked at him with concern in my eyes.
"Are you okay Kayden?" I asked staring into his blood shot eyes
"I'm fine" he mumbled looked down at the paper
"You don't seem fine. Are you high?"
He laughed a little "Naaahhh..." he seemed high "I'm Aight"
"Did you by any chance smoke weed before you came to school?"
"Just ....a little" he emphasized with his thumb and index finger
"Yeah ... a little" I sarcastically stated as I rolled my eyes in the process "Do your work if you wanna pass"
"Imma pass.. I ... am"
"Bye. Your too high right now and I'm not dealing with it"
I got up but failing to walk away cause he pulled me by my wrist. I looked at him with a annoyed look. He needs to get his shit together asap. I put a hand on my hip.
"What Kayden?"
"Help me. Pleaseee"
I sat down and hesitantly just did it for him. I don't know what's gotten into him to smoke so much before school. Especially when he knows I hate him doing it. I hope he's ok.
When I finished I got up and went back to my desk. The bell will be ringing in a few minutes signifying that it's lunch. My mind keeps drifting to our kiss. It felt really good. I liked it a lot. I looked up and noticed people leaving..shoot. I grabbed my books and stuff and left out.
* * * *
End of the day was here and they're supposed to have this church thing at the house. I'm not really looking forward to it but I have to. I waited outside with my bag on my arm and phone in my hand. When Kayden came out I smiled.
"Hey Princess" he squinted his eyes from the sun
"Hey. I thought about seeing my mom..she's in the hospital and I ....I-I uh wanna see her"
"Broo-"
I cut him off by sighing sharply "That's my mom. How would you feel if you were in the position I was in?"
"Aight... whatever." He didn't seem too happy
I got in the car and put my seatbelt on. I haven't seen my mom ever since that day. And she saved my life so I have to thank her. She gave birth to me and whether how she felt if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be in this world. But look at the person I turned out to be.
"What you supposed to be getting out of this?" He looked over at me
"Closure. I just wanna thank her for saving my life. Your forgetting the point that she's still my mom"
Kayden
I love Brooklynn a lot but I don't think she should associate with the woman who put her down for so long. It don't matter of that's her mother, she still didn't care about Brooklynn when Braylenn was around. Not only has it fucked with Brooklynns self-esteem but also made her wanna kill herself.
"I just want the best for you Brook. You deserve better and what she put you through I don't think she deserve a second chance"
She just looked away and said nothing.
I pulled up at the hospital and got out. She signed a few papers and we went to room 334. When we went in her mom was just laying there. She was up but she didn't look too good. I sat in the chair and watched as Brooklynn tried hugging her.
"You didn't come see me and I've been in here for a month or so" she said
Brooklynn looked like she was sad all over again "I-Im sorry. I had to focus on school, moving a-"
"Did you go to Braylenns funeral?"
"No" Brooklynn said low
I bit my lip and grabbed her hand. Rubbing my thumb over hers to console her. She sniffled a little and I could tell she was tryna hold back tears.
"I understand what's been done is done and you will probably never forgive me but I wanna say .... I'm sorry for everything"
Brooklynn
The words kept replaying over and over again in my head. I'm sorry. Should I forgive her or not ?. I just don't know what to do..she did put me through hell and it's crazy because every time I look at her those thoughts pop in my head.
"Umm.. I have to go. I'll come back tomorrow" I rushed out and heard Kayden's feet behind me..I kept going until I felt a cool breeze and noticed I was finally outside. I walked to the car and was about to open the door but he pulled me back. I looked at him and tried not to cry.
"Brooklynn what's wrong?"
I put my hands over my face "Everything" I started crying. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and he pulled me into him. Everything I've been keeping in these past months came out.
"Its okay" he whispered in my ear
"I-Its not" I cried more
"I know your hurting but you'll get through it. It's up to you what you wanna do. I'll support you in anything but I will share my input in what's best for you. You can take it or leave it" he wiped my tears and kissed my lips gently. I love the way he kisses me. I could get used to this. "Okay?"
I nodded and looked around. I wiped my wet face and then got in the car. When he got in he pulled off. I really needed that.
We walked inside his house and it was quite of course. I took my shoes off leaving me in my socks and then put my book bag down. We walked to his room and I laid back on his bed while he was in the bathroom. I wonder if Kayden sometimes gets mad when I don't wanna give it up. I mean let's be serious he is a boy and once was a player , I wonder how he's doing without sex for awhile. Any type
The door open and he came out. I pushed my thoughts away quick before tension could build up. I wanna ask him but I'm scared.
"Kayden" I started
"Hm?" He sat next to me and leaned back on a pillow. I noticed his eyes drifted to my chest which brung out my boobs in the grey tank top, then his eyes when to my high waisted shorts. My breath got caught in my throat but I tried to play it off like nothing was wrong. Just ask!
"How d-do you deal with ..... us not ..... sexually active. Do you hate going so long without sex ...... or anything sexual?" I asked softly because of the nervousness built in me
He put his hand on the front of his jeans and focused back on me "It gets to me sometimes but I'm willing to wait with you. I get hard a lot and I don't have any one to tend to it. But I try not to think about it"
I nodded and looked down "I just know it will be a disappointment to my family. Like even the slightess things ..... making out, kissing, touching, hugging .... things like that"
"And your trust issues is fucked up"
"I know"
"I don't know what I gotta tell you to make you realize that I won't just leave you after it. I love and trust you so you should trust me"
"Yeah but I'm expected to do all this after marriage"
"Well break your law for me" he laughed a little
I smiled "what's an orgasm? Sorry but everyone says it and I don't know !"
He started laughing and looked away "Stop lying Brook"
"Im not. Seriously tell me I don't know!" I nudged him
"A good ass feeling I'll tell you that"
I laughed and shook my head "Its is? But tell me really like ... what it is"
" A climax of sexual excitement, feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals in men too and experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation. It's a good fucking feeling when a girl or boy cums inside each other."
"Wow..." I looked away tryna avoid our awkward stares "What do you do when you feel the urge to ..."
"Fuck" he finished and I hit him "Shit ... I masturbate sometimes. Or just try my best to deal with the situation"
"what's that?" I asked curiously
He looked at me in disbelief "You don't --- never mind. I'm basically pleasuring my own self by pumping my dick with my hand"
"Oh" I sighed. This was a very uncomfortable conversation but I'm glad I got to know .