I don't see the tractor anywhere, when I pull up to the house. I'm sure Trevor got rid of it. When I start walking to the barn I hear arguing. Trevor must be pissed about something, which is nothing new.
"We need it."
"We don't need anything from that asshole." Trevor refutes.
"It was a gift. If Pa wants to keep it he should." I interrupt.
"You were on my side earlier." Trevor turns towards me, confused.
"Yeah, then I talked to Paxton." Looking to Pa I say, "It's his apology for this morning."
"Figured as much, sweetheart. He left a note."
Of course he did. I don't know how I feel about Paxton. I didn't expect to like him. I mean who makes someone marry them? Only a jerk... an arrogant jerk. I'm getting to know him and for some reason we get along really well. Even now he makes me smile. This is crazy, sure he's an okay guy, but I don't like arrogant jerks...Do I? I'm just making the best out of the situation. That's all. I don't really like him.
"ADELAIDE!"
"Huh, what?"
"I've been trying to talk to you for five minutes what's up with you?" Trevor's irritated voice brings me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry, I was thinking. What do you want?"
"Forget it." He huffs and walks away.
"What's his problem?" I ask, Brent.
"He's mad. Pa won't explain why the tractor was an apology. Or what this morning had to do with it. He asked you and you were miles away." He says, with a teasing grin. I blush and look away.
"Did everyone eat?" I ask, searching for something off the topic we're currently on.
"Yeah, just fend for yourself."
"Okay." I leave and walk into the house.
I start making a sandwich and thoughts of Paxton plague me again. I can't imagine him being afraid of being rejected. I'll admit it's very cute. Why couldn't he just ask to date me? That's my problem with liking him, I don't want to like him because he's making me become Mrs. West. That's not something you do if you really care about the person's feelings.
I have to keep my head with Paxton. I don't want him to control every part of our relationship and so far he does. I'm putting a stop to that as soon as possible. I'm not going to sleep with him until we say 'I do'. With our wedding still needing to be planned, it will be in a couple of months. I can do it. I can resist him.
***************
I can't resist him! He's been here ten minutes and all I can think about is getting him alone. He keeps looking at me with that look in his eyes. The longing and wanting makes my knees weak. He lightly touches me every chance he gets and I feel my resolve from earlier crumble.
I don't like him. I just want him. That's it, it's just sex. Great sex. I'm sure I could get that anywhere. But no, I'm stuck with Paxton West my future husband because he's given me no choice. Spine is back to steel....I will not sleep with him.
Paxton must feel the coolness of my attitude. "What's wrong?" he whispers, while Pa and Trevor are in a heated debate about moving the cattle.
I shug, "Nothing."
His eyes narrow. "Tell me."
"Back to orders Mr. West? It's not in the contract that I have to talk to you." I reply...actually I don't know what's in the contract I didn't read it.
"How would you know you? You didn't even look at the pages." He replies, he just had to point that out. I ignore him and start eating the spaghetti I cooked. I feel his hand on my thigh and he squeezes firmly, making me look at him again. "Tell me."
"Later." I whisper back.
His eyes are hard but he accepts what I said and starts eating again. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Pa asks. This gets Paxton's attention, I see Pa's small smile. He did that on purpose! Meddling old man.
"Nothing."
"Come now, sweetheart. You'll be married soon enough." He teases.
"Wh-That's not what I'm mad about." I deny.
Pa gives me a look like he doesn't believe me and I'm horrified. He thinks I'm going to miss Paxton when he leaves, that I want to be married to him. "How are the wedding arrangements coming along?" He asks, Paxton.
"I just need a guest list from you and they can make it happen by the end of the month. It's going to be at Hillsdale County Club in Clinton." He informs us.
I guess I don't have to do anything...good, it's not like a real wedding anyway. This gets me grumpy all over again.
"Jeeze, Addie. Isn't that soon enough?" Brent adds laughing, thinking the same thing as Pa.
"Excuse me." I say, getting up from the table abruptly and heading to the front door. I grab my purse off the entry hall table and go out to my truck. I start the truck and pull out not caring that Paxton is coming down the front porch steps.
Ah, they think I want to rush to marry him!!
Why couldn't this have worked out the normal way. If we had a real relationship I could see myself wanting to marry him as quickly as possible. He is different then every other guy I've known. But no, he's making me marry him. He made me sign a marriage contract...now I have no choice or say in anything. He didn't even ask my opinion about our wedding. If he thinks I'm putting together a guest list or picking out a dress, he's sorely mistaken. I'm going to avoid him until I have to walk down the aisle. Which I will do in cutoffs and a t-shirt.
I pull over at a local park, its on a small lake that has a trail through the woods that loops around. I start to walk the path. I need to think and be alone, this is perfect. I feel stupid, why did I have to start to like him. I was aware I found him attractive, but I knew what he was doing was wrong. All of a sudden I'm having sex on his office desk after he refuses to wear the condoms I bought.
Why does all my thinking go out the window with him? The stupid jerk is growing on me, I can't have it. I won't like him from here on out. I will only concentrate on the things I don't like about him. Yes that's a good idea a list of all the things I hate about him. Number one he's making me marry him. Second is...He's tall. Third he's a jerk. Fourth.....You know it doesn't even matter. Those three reasons are enough to not like him.
"You're going to have to talk to me sooner or later." I jump, when I hear his voice.
"How did you even find me?" I ask, shocked.
"I followed you. You drive incredibly slow you know."
"No, I don't. I drive the speed limit."
"Sure you do." He states, not believing me.
"What do you want? I came here to be alone." I tell him pointedly.
"I want to talk. What are you upset about?"
I don't want to tell him that I like him. That I'm mad at myself for liking him. The little weasel, would eat that up.
"Adelaide." He states frustrated and angry.
"It's hard to think that in a month I have to marry you. It's enough to make anyone grumpy." I snap back.
He doesn't say anything, but I can tell he wants to. I decide not to ask and keep walking. "Do you want to back out?" He asks.
"Since when does it matter what I want? We both know why I'm doing this, I don't have to be happy about it do I?" I ask, crossing my arms in a huff.
"Forget the contract. What is it about me you find so disgusting? What makes me so horrible you can't stomach the idea of marriage?"
"Look at what your making me do! I should be happy I'm getting married, instead I'm being told where and when it's doing to be. All I have to do is show up. It's stupid to even pretend it's a happy marriage."
I watch as he runs his fingers through his hair in absolute frustration. "What do you want?"
"I want to pick who I marry, not be told. This is ridiculous why couldn't we just had a normal start. Everything's messed up and now I can't ever like you because you made me hate you."
"Fine forget everything. I'll burn the contract, you won't have to marry me. You can just forget everything that's happened." He turns to leave.
"What about my family?" I ask.
"That's your concern not mine." He replies, still walking away. Great I just lost the farm.