Brooklynn in picture above
*Brooklynn*
Kayden and I have grown close over the past three months. I like him but I will never show it. Why does he like me anyway I'm ugly. I walked downstairs and Braylenn and my mom was laughing at a movie. I walked into the kitchen trying my best to ignore them.
"Where are you going?" She noticed me slipping on my sneakers
"Out" I simply said
"Don't get smart with me young lady ! Keep being smart and you won't have no where to live"
"sorry" I said before walking out. The cool breeze hit me and I felt better since I was out that devils house. I just wanna take a walk and clear all my thoughts. Honestly I wanna get away from earth, somewhere far. I walked to the park and sat on the bench. If only people knew what I go through....
"Brooklynn" I looked up and seen Kayden. He was holding a little girls hand and she was so pretty.
"hey Kayden" I said looking at him
"Go play Kalani" the little girl ran off "You okay?"
He sat near me and I could feel the radiation from his body "I'm fine" I smiled and it wasn't sincere
"You sure?"
I nodded and smiled faintly
"When's the last time you got in the pool?"
"Mhm... maybe a few months ago"
"My mom's having a few people over tomorrow and we have an indoor pool. You wanna come?"
I looked down and sighed. Do I ?
"Sure" I said lowly "What time?"
"2:00 I'll pick you up"
"Okay"
He pulled out a skinny blunt. I stared as he lit it up while it was in his mouth. He put the lighter back in his pocket and realised the smoke from his mouth. He looked at me and put the blunt my way.
"No thanks" I said looking back forward
"I love getting high. Stress reliever basically"
"Its not good for you"
"One quick puff and you wouldn't be saying that for long. I'm not addicted but I do smoke marijuana every once in awhile"
"I hate guys that smoke" I said
He laughed a little "I'm gonna stop smoking now"
"The immediate effects of taking marijuana include rapid heart beat, disorientation, lack of physical coordination, often followed by depression or sleepiness. Some people who use it suffer panic attacks or anxiety"
"I don't do this shit all day everyday. Just sometimes when I feel like getting high"
"Try to go without smoking it. Whatever the purpose is it doesn't matter. You shouldn't do it at all. That's illegal to"
He nodded and threw his blunt down. He stomped on it and the fire went out.
"Since you teach me math, how about I teach you how to get out more"
"Correct me if I'm wrong but I am out right?"
"Well your not wrong cause I didn't explain what I mean by 'out' like going to the carnival, beach, movies, mall etc"
"I have a strict as- strict mom"
"You don't curse or something" he frowned
"No."
"Say shit" he smiled
"s - h -i - t" I spelled it
"No say it"
"No" I began laughing
"Say fuck"
"No"
"Say ass"
"No"
"Say bitch"
"NO!" He started laughing
"Please for me" he begged
"I don't wanna curse"
"Yes you do"
"I don't"
"Yeah we'll see" he said laughing
His Little sister ran over to us. She looked at me and smiled shyly
"Hi Kalani" I said to her
"Hi" she waved shyly
"Lani what you want?" Kayden said
"I'm ready to go home" she whined
"just wait" he said
"Come on" he grabbed my hand and dragged me with him
"What were you taking me" I whined
"Taking her home"
"Okay and ?"
"Please just get in the car"
I groaned and got in
Once he dropped his little sister off home he kept driving somewhere. I looked around and we pulled up at this ice cream place.. I looked at him
"You don't like ice cream?"
"I do.... but why we here?"
"Cause you like ice cream now let's go"
I got out and we walked up. I looked at Kayden's features. He was so sexy but I honestly don't see us being together. Why is he even interested in me ? I looked at his lips... pink. They were some 'kiss me right now" lips.
"What kind?" He asked
"Vanilla"
"can I get two vanilla's . One plain and one with sprinkles"
*
*
*
*
"Stop staring at me" I said feeling his eyes on me as I ate my ice cream
"You are truly beautiful. I love your skin, smile, eyes, nose, ears everything"
That made my day. I'm so used to being called ugly that when someone says I'm pretty I start to doubt it. But something made me believe him. Did God truly send this person for me ? Or is he like other guys?
"Thank you" I smiled
"And no I'm not like other guys . I swear your so beautiful and I love your personality. Your shy but yet funny and fun to hang out with"
I looked at him and looked down "Really?"
"hell yeah"
"Why me?"
"Why you what?"
"Why am I the one you chose? Your the basketball player with girls all at your feet and you chose Brooklynn. The quite with no friends and good grades girl"
"Why wouldn't I wanna be with someone like you ? You got so much respect for yourself unlike some of these bitches out here. I know a lot of girls that just threw themselves to me without hesitation but you not like that. You smart and beautiful with the best attitude"
I can't believe he just said that to me. I wanna cry because I never had any one say anything like that to me. I just don't wanna show how happy I am but it doesn't add up to what happens at home. Im really scared that he just might be like most guys that just wanna take advantage of you.
"Thanks" I replied finishing my ice cream "I really appreciate it"
"You deserve it. I don't give a fuck how most guys out here say the same shit over and over again cause I seriously wanna get close with you. I just feel like you could be right for me. Ever since you came to the school my eyes were on you. I just saw how you were and I liked it. Brooklynn your different and you got more respect for yourself then the next bitch that only wanna Fuck me"
God please give me a sign that I'm not dreaming !
"I-" he cut me off
"I can tell you not feeling yourself and I'm the person to make you feel like a queen inside and out. I ain't here for looks or sex. I'm here cause you caught my attention mentally, physically, and emotionally. Yeah I like ass and all that but you caught me in a much more respectful way. I just had to tell you"
"How do I know you not like most other guys. A lot of guys say this to their crushes and then the girl ends up pregnant and y'all split over an argument"
"Of course arguments are gonna happen but it's not gonna be to the point were I'm done with you"
I nodded and wiped my mouth with my napkin.
"I love your curls" he smiled touching my black curly hair "So soft and Damn you got alot ..."
"Boys always like girls with naturally curly or naturally straight hair but I'm natural. No perms or chemicals, just water and natural products. I roll my hair in flexi rods at night and take them out either the next day or keep it in for two days and it stays curly for like a month then I repeat the process."
"I don't give a Fuck if you wore weave , it still looks nice on you" he kept touching my hair
I instinctively touched his curly hair then pulled my hand away fast. It's so soft and oh my gosh ! Felt like I put my hand through heaven for two seconds. I looked at him and he smiled showing his bright white teeth.
"My hair cant feel that good does it?" He rested his elbow on the table and stared at me. His beautiful eyes now a hazel color with a bit of green specks. They were so pretty I was lost in them.
"Oh huh? Uhh..... y-yeah it's very ....... soft"
"Do you really have trouble stuttering or are you just nervous?"
"I don't stutter a lot !" I was highly offended
"Imma keep it real you do but I got a feeling it's just cause your nervous. But it's okay cause I won't judge you, I just wanna help you"
I bit on my nail nervously and he moved my hand from my mouth.
"Stop biting your nails"
"Why?"
"Cause you have nothing to be nervous about"
"Im n-not ----" I stopped myself and breathed "I'm .... not ..... nervous"
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah ...... if y-you are"
"When your ready I am"
"Okay I'm ready"
He stood up and I did too.. he held my hand as we walked to the car and his hand was soft and warm. I was low key tryna feel every inch of his hand. He pulled off and we made a little small talk before getting there.
"So what's your favorite color?" He asked me
"My favorite color is blue"
"Whats your favorites food?"
"Alot of things but if I had to choose to eat the same meal for the rest of my life it'd be lasagna"
"I love lasagna too"
I smiled and saw we were finally at my house.
"Bye . I'll see you tomorrow"
"Okay bye" i got out the car and knocked on the door.
Braylenn answered wearing just a robe and let me in without saying anything. I watched as she walked back up the stairs.
"where's mom?" I asked going up to
"Out" she said before going in her room
"Bitch" I mumbled before hearing a boys voice inside Braylenns room
I quickly opened the door and seen my ex boyfriend Hakeem in bed with her. This fucking bitch. Me and Hakeem broke up because he kept cheating.
"Bray really?" I said mad as hell
"So you guys aren't together" she shrugged
"So what that's disrespectful ! You would have a fit if I slept with one of your ex's"
"But you wouldn't"
"Cause I'm not a hoe and I don't jump from boy to boy"
"Shut the fuck up you worthless 2¢ bitch and leave"
"Bet that vagina 1¢ whore ass bitch!" I yelled
"Cause people wanna get some from me unlike you"
"Braylenn WHAT TYPE OF FEELING ARE THEY GETTING !!? Your loose cause your a hoe and mess with anybody"
"Just leave . Get out cause your not worth arguing over!"
"Glad to whore ass . Oh did y'all have sex yet?"
She smiled "Yeah we did . Are you mad bitch ? Are you?"
"Guess he aint tell you he got HIV but whatever carry on"
I walked out an slammed the door. Yeah it's true he does have it. I heard them arguing and I shut my room door. I wiped the single tear that came down my cheek. Who cares about him? Who cares about Braylenn? Who fucking cares what people think of me?
I screamed and cried. I grabbed the knife that was under my pillow and cut my wrist a little. I kept doing it until I saw blood then I stopped. I put it down and went into the bathroom were I washed the blood off. I dried my wrist and there were 4 Red visible lines. I don't care what she says ! I don't care that people don't like me. I don't care that I'm worthless to most people. I don't fucking care ! I JUST DONT FUCKING CARE !!
But it still hurts me and makes me wanna kill myself more .....