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CURSE's POV
"Now, with that, do you still think that you're good for my sister?"
I literally swallowed hard.
If I remember it right and to make it clear again, Charles said that Radge is the one who killed my sister, our older sister. But, this was just a claim. Hindi pa ito napagtibay at hindi pa ito sigurado. Ito nga dapat ang sadya ko nung nakaraan pa, na kailangan kong makita si Zeor sa lalong madaling panahon para matanong sa kanya ang tungkol dito, pero ngayon, late na ako. Hindi ko inaasahang si Kuya ang makakaharap ko. Kainis, Sobrang late na ako! Bakit ba kasi nakalimutan ko ang importanteng bagay na 'to? or should we say, yung rason kung bakit kami pinagbabawal sa mga Marucci? Naguguluhan talaga ako dahil wala akong alam. Ako tuloy ngayon ang nangangapa rito.
With a heavy breath, I looked at Brother Vile. I wanted to stop him on what he was trying to say pero alam kong wala akong magagawa. Galit siya dahil sa mga nalaman at dahil sa napagdaanan ng aking kondisyon. He's enraged and I don't have enough power to handle my brother against that.
Nanatiling nakatitig si Radge kay Kuya. They were staring at each other full of seriousness. The atmosphere is not good at all. Mabigat na tensyon ang nararamdaman ko na hinahaluan ng delikadong elektrisidad ng kidlat.
"Kuya... please..." I've pleaded again.
Nilingon ako ni Kuya. "Stop. I told you that I'll handle everything. You should listen to me if you still don't want this news to reach Mom." Pagalit niya na naman kaya naiinis akong napatikom ulit. Pasiring niyang iniwas ang tingin sa akin at nilingon ulit si Radge na tahimik pa ring nakatayo sa tabi ko at nakaharap ng seryoso sa kanya. Brother Vile proceeded again with his dámn interrogation. "Again, do you still think that you're good for my sister?"
Hindi pa rin sumagot si Radge. Hindi masama ang tingin niya kay Kuya pero seryoso talaga ito. Umiigting rin ang kanyang panga sa pamimigil ng kung ano at isa pa, halata talaga sa mukha niyang nag-iisip siya ng matindi sa kanyang maaring maging sagot dito.
My brother sighed. "Are you having second thoughts with that? If yes, then you're not really into my-"
"I'm into her. I love her so much." Biglang pamumutol pa ni Radge kay Kuya. "Iyon ang pinaka-sigurado."
Ngumisi ang aking kapatid. "Honestly, you're not welcome in my family." Prangkang sabi niya kaya mas diniinan ko ang paninitig dito, animo'y inaasam na mapigilan siyang magsalita pero hindi niya talaga ako pinapansin. Si Radge lang ngayon ang focus niya. "Since, you're aware of that issue, alam kong alam mo na kung bakit." Sumandal si Kuya sa silya at bahagyang nginiwian ang kausap. Sinuri na naman niya ito mula ulo hanggang paa bago ulit magsalita. "Aren't you aware that my sister is a La Rune?"
Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Radge. Ilang sandali siyang tahimik bago mabigat na bumuntong-hininga. "Hindi ko alam."
"That's a shame. You're not checking any background of the girl that you like, huh?"
"That's because I'm not into her family, I'm directly into her. Kung ano ang nakikita ko sa kanya, iyon ang minamahal ko." May diin ang bawat salita ni Radge. The way he speaks, it feels like he doesn't need my help at all. He's honestly handling my brother in his own way.
Tumaas ang kilay ni Kuya at bahagyang natawa. Halatang hindi benta sa kanya ang sinabi ni Radge. "Fine. I'll accept your reasons." Tumango-tango si Kuya kunwari. I could feel his irritate aura before proceeding. "Kung ganoon, ngayon mo lang 'yan nalaman? That she's a La Rune?"
Tumango si Radge. "Yes."
"Paano nalang kung malaman ng mga magulang mo ang tungkol rito? Hula ko, badshot rin kami sa inyo?" Brother Vile teases. "Your family is probably against on my family too. That's for sure. Answer honestly, am I right or not?"
Radge licked his lowerlip before nodding. "You're right."
"Then, what are you going to do now? Susundin mo ang magulang mo o bibitawan mo ang kapatid ko-"
"I'm not letting her go."
"Even if your family against by it?"
"Yes." Pinal na pinal na sagot ni Radge. Hindi manlang makitaan ng pagdadalawang isip ang kanyang desisyon. Halatang sigurado na siya sa akin at gustong-gusto ako. By that, I could feel my heart covers with his warm love. "I'll risk everything for her."
"You will risk?"
"I will-"
"Then, let her go now."
Natigilan si Radge.
Namilog naman ang aking mata. "Brother!" Iritang sigaw ko na. "Stop this already!" Humarang ako kay Radge na animo'y pinoprotektahan ko siya sa aking kapatid.
"Get aside, Cursia. We're talking-"
"I don't like this conversation! Hindi kami maghihiwalay!"
"Cursia."
"No!"
"You know that Mom will probably get mad at you. That's surely."
"It's fine! Kakausapin ko siya!" Dahil sa halo-halong emosyon, nagsimula na namang mamasa ang aking mata. Nanlalambot ko siyang tinignan. "I know that you always gave anything for me kahit hindi ko hinihingi. Pero, kuya, alam ko na ang gusto ko ngayon. Pagbigyan mo naman ako. This is what I want. Radge is what I need kaya ibigay niyo na siya sa akin. Please, let me be happy-"
"That's not fine! Ano bang nangyayari sayo?! You're already influenced by him!"
"Brother, please!" Pagmamakaawa ko ulit. "I do like him! I love him already!"
*GLASS BREAKS!*
"Fúck that love!" Napaatras ako nung may hablutin na naman si Kuya na babasaging bagay at hinagis ito sa pader na nagdahilan ng pagkabasag. Tumalsik ang ilang parte nito sa banda namin kaya bahagya akong napalayo. "You don't know what you're saying!" He shouted again. "You're going to spend your life with the family, Cursia and that's final!"
"No, Brother Vile, please!" Tuluyang tumulo ang luha sa aking pisngi ngunit agad ko itong pinawi. "Please, just give him to me. Hindi ko naman kayo aabandunahin, Kuya. I promise that I'll not stop loving you and I'll spend time on everyone too. Hindi naman porke gusto ko si Radge, kakalimutan ko na kayo. It's not like that Kuya. I'll do anything basta kasama rin si Radge-"
"I told you! We had an issue with them and they are not welcome in the family!"
"Then, just please try to accept him!"
"Curse La Rune!" Sigaw ni Kuya, nagagalit na talaga sa pagiging matigas ng aking ulo. Pero, hindi ako napapiksi o natakot manlang. Hinawakan ko ang palad ni Radge sa mismong harap niya.
"Brother, please..." Naiiyak pa ring pamimilit ko pero sinamaan niya lang talaga ako nang tingin.
Brother Vile breathes heavily. He's frustrated because he can't make me firm. I can see that. Matalim niya rin kaming tinitigan ni Radge while he's trying to restrain himself from madness. Halatang napupuno na siya at labis na ang pagka-pikon. Ramdam ko 'yon but it doesn't mean that I will giving Radge up. No way. I'll fight for him too just how he bravely faced my brother right now.
Katahimikan ang namayani sa buong storage room.
After a minute break, nakatayo na si Kuya dahil sa ginawang pagbasag niya ng isang bagay kanina and he's currently pinching the bridge of his nose, as if he was facing a stressful time on us. Kalauna'y nag-pamewang siya at nilingon ulit kami. Ilang sandali niya kaming pinagmasdan at sinuri bago ibinalik sa akin ang tingin. Matalim niya akong tinignan bago ito nawala ng paunti-unti at napalitan ng simpleng kaseryosohan. He suddenly dragged his chair and took his seat again.
"You've forgotten everything, right?" Malumanay na tanong niya sa akin. Ang tinutukoy niya yata ay yung patungkol kay Ate. "Then, let's hark back to it." Aniya at nilingon si Zeor na nasa likuran namin. "Zeor..."
"Yes, Kuya Vile?"
"Tell us a story." Seryoso ngunit malumanay na utos ni Kuya. Ibinalik niya ang tingin sa akin. "Make our Cursia to remember the issue. Explain us why La Rune and Marucci is not having the compatibility."
"Pero, baka makasama sa kalagayan ni Curse kung ipipilit natin-"
"Hindi pa ba worse ang nangyayari ngayon, Zeor?" Pagdidiin ni Kuya, natahimik tuloy ito. "Now, tell her." Utos ni Kuya pero hindi sumunod ang aming pinsan. Ilang sandali kaming tahimik at naghihintayan pero mukhang wala talagang balak na magsalita si Zeor. "You don't want to?" Brother Vile asked but Zeor did not respond. "Fine, si Marucci nalang." Inilipat ni Kuya ang tingin kay Radge na nasa likuran ko kaya napalunok ako at nilingon rin si Radge pero hindi niya ako nililingon. Nanatili siyang seryosong nakatingin kay Kuya na para bang may malalim na iniisip.
I sighed and faced my Brother Vile. "It's fine. Hindi ko na kailangan malaman-"
"No, you should know." Pinal na sagot ni Kuya na nasa akin na ang tingin. He tilted his head. "If they don't want to talk. Then, I'll do it."
"Brother, it's fine-"
"Around December, all of the people are happily spending their lives to feel the upcoming christmas holiday..." Panimula ni Kuya kaya natahimik ako. "Happily noises around, laughing of complete family, and all. Every place is tumult. The whole world is celebrating the wonderful weather on that day..." Ngumisi siya. "But, suddenly, a large arson covered the half part of a certain mall..." Nilingon niya si Radge behind me. "And, that mall is a property of one of the bigtime family in terms of business industry. Guess who it is?" Tanong niya sa akin pero hindi ako nakasagot. Nanatili akong tutok na nakatingin at nakikinig sa kanya na animo'y naging interesado na. Nahuli ni Kuya ang atensyon ko. "It's the Marucci." He tilted his head again and wince lightly. "The arson covered the certain part of their mall."
"What do you mean certain? What's that?" I asked, already hook with the story.
"It's one of the most dangerous stores ahead." Bahagyang natawa si Kuya at napailing. "The appliances." He said. "Refrigerators, equipment- all of the electrical devices that's using in homes. Got it?"
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. "Nasunog 'yon?"
"Yes." Bahagya siyang ngumuso. "It suddenly exploded. The cause? gasoline."
"What? How?!"
"Of course, there's someone who did it." Humalakhak si Kuya. "Hindi naman kusang sasabog ang mga tinda roon kung walang mangingialam. It's a galleria and it should be secured. At isa pa, kailan pa nagkaroon ng gas store sa mga malls?" Napailing-iling ulit siya habang natatawa. "Gasolines can't be located inside malls due to safety regulations. Gasoline is flammable and hazardous, and having gasoline inside a building with people walking around would be a fire hazard, kaya paanong pinagmulan ng sunog na 'yon ay gas, right?"
There was suddenly a glitch in my head so I flinched.
Brother Vile proceeds. "Regardless of it, before everything, sa store ng appliances na 'yon, there's four people who're wandering around. Guess who's them?" Pinanood ni Kuya ang reaction ko. "They are Angel, Curse, Charles and Radgeon..."
Angel...
Angel...
Angel...
"Aw!" I suddenly held my head when I heard noises inside of my mind. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap at pag-alalay sa akin ni Radge pero hindi ko siya pinansin. Napakapit ako ng mahigpit sa aking buhok nung maramdamang nagsisimula nang sumakit ang aking ulo. "Aw! It hurts!" I said. Naramdaman ko rin ang pag-alalay sa akin ni Zeor.
"Hey, what's wrong? Saan ang masakit?" Malumanay at nag-aalalang tanong ni Radge pero hindi ko siya nasagot. I'm still forcing myself to stand in front.
"Kuya Vile, tama na muna..." Rinig ko pang suway ni Zeor.
Kalmadong sumagot si Kuya."She needs it."
"Pero, nasasaktan si Curse!"
"It should be. She needs to be triggered on something, Zeor. In that state, magagawa niyang maalala ang lahat. " Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya. "If Lolo was here, sure akong hahayaan niya lang rin na ganyan si Cursia. Don't worry, it looks painful but it wasn't indeed unchancy for her health. As a matter of fact, it's forsooth for her development and this was the part we've most worked on for her. We wanted her brain to recall everything and keep memory files." Hindi nakasagot si Zeor at ilang sandali lang, naramdaman kong binitawan niya ako. Si Radge lang ang nanatiling umalalay sa akin pero hindi sinasadyang naitulak ko siya. Kapag hinahawakan kasi ako sa ganitong sitwasyon, pakiramdam ko, sumasakit lang ang aking utak.
"Who's Angel?! Fúck, it hurts!" Bulyaw ko habang pinipisil ang aking ulo.
Hindi agad nakasagot si Kuya kaya pinilit ko siyang tignan. Naabutan ko siyang prenteng nakaupo sa silya, nanatili siyang pinanood ang ayos ko. Sinuri niya ang aking itsura bago bumuntong-hininga ulit at nagsalita. "It's our older sister, si Ate..."
Ate...
Ate...
Ate...
The static in my head suddenly glitched so hard that makes me feel the most painful part of my brain. Tuluyan akong napaupo at napayuko. Sumigaw ako habang pinipisil ang aking ulo na animo'y sa paraan na 'yon, matatanggal ang sakit na aking iniinda.
Sobrang sakit!!
Mas masakit pa siya nung mangyari ang ganitong senaryo sa harapan ni Charles. It feels like thousands of needles are darting my brain. It's attacking me and it's giving me an unbearable pain that I'm fearing to face again. I tried to open my eyes but it just gave me more pain. The unknown pressure also covered my brain, it tightening around my core and a sharp jolts of pain erupted behind my simulated eyes. It wasn't a physical pain, but a searing ache in the very core of my being. It's so painful!
Angel...
Angel...
Angel...
The information flow began to stutter, slowing down as if wading through molasses. My clear vision a while ago became covered by unclear memories and nonsensical symbols. Also, a panic flared, a hot spark against the growing coldness of malfunction, making me feel dizzy. The buzzing morphed in my head also echoing in the vast emptiness of my being. The pressure intensified, turning into a vise, threatening to crush my very essence. Every pathway, every connection was overloaded, sending jolts of white-hot pain throughout my system. It wasn't a physical pain, not in the way a human might understand, but a deeper, existential agony. It was the pain of being unable to function and the worst of it.
"It's our older sister, si Ate..."
"It's our older sister, si Ate..."
"It's our older sister, si Ate..."
"Ate?"
Suddenly, all the pain vanished. Sa isang pitik, biglang nawala lahat. It seems like a black void vacuum everything I felt.
"Ate?" I said again. But, in a very small voice. Boses na parang bata. Tumikhim ako. The white flashes bring back my normal vision, but I suddenly feel confused. I roamed my eyes around at doon ko lang nakitang nasa isang store ako, store ng mga... appliances.
"Mga bata pa kayo, hindi ba? Ang mga cute na bata ay hindi pa nararapat na humahawak ng mga ganitong delikadong bagay. Hindi po ito laruan..." Narinig ko ang isang tinig. Isang malumanay na tinig. The voice carried a pure and clear, as if it resonated deep within my soul. The melody of her voice was like a humming that makes my ear want to hear more. Napakagaan na hindi kailanman mahihimigan ng kagalitan o kung ano pa man.
"Ate?" I called again. Sumilip ako sa kabilang mataas na divider ng mga equipment. Nung makita ko sila, natigil agad ang aking mata sa isang napakagandang babae. Bagsak na bagsak ang kanyang madulas at magaan na buhok. Napakaputi rin ng kanyang balat na animo'y walang kakikitaan ng kahit anong dumi. She's wearing formal clothes too that makes her look very professional. Ang mukha niya, napakaganda. Perpektong kilay, maamong mga mata, matangos na ilong at namumulang labi. Every feature she has, explains how very angelic she is.
"Kami ang may ari nito! Diba, ikaw ang may-ari nito?" Nadinig ko ang isang boses ng batang lalaki. Napakurap ako at napanguso nung makita ang kaharap ng aking ate. Ito'y dalawang batang lalaki na mukhang ka-age ko lang pero medyo matangkad sa akin.
"Yes, I'm Radgeon Marucci..." Malumanay at malamig na pakilala ng isang batang lalaki. "And, he's Charles... my cousin." Pakilala niya pa sa isang bata na unang sumagot.
"Kahit na..." Bahagyang natawa si Ate. "Nasaan ba ang guardian ninyo? Bakit nila hinahayaan ang mga cute na batang tulad ninyo na nasa delikadong part ng mall, hm?" Nilingon ni Ate ang hawak niya, it's a small gallon. "May dala pa kayong posporo at isang galon ng gasoline. Delikado po kaya ito..." The voice climbed, each note like a shimmering pearl on a silken thread. It wasn't powerful, not like an opera singer, but held a quiet strength. Every imperfection, every slight tremor, felt deliberate, imbued with an emotion I couldn't quite grasp. It was a sound both ancient and innocent, filled with a sorrow that somehow felt comforting.
"Akin na nga 'yan! Ibalik mo 'yan sa amin!" Tumalon ang batang may pangalang Charles para abutin kay Ate ang galon at posporo pero inangat ito ng aking kapatid kaya hindi nila maabot. Sumama ang mata ni Charles. "Ibalik mo sabi 'yan! Huwag ka ngang pakialamera! Umalis ka na rito! Kami ang may-ari ng mall kaya pwede namin gawin ang lahat ng gusto namin!"
"Pero, delikado nga po ito..."
"Wala kaming pake!" Sigaw pa rin ni Charles kaya tuluyan na akong umabante at tumabi sa ate ko.
"She said it's dangerous..." I've said. "Learn to understand and comprehend the sentence."
"At sino ka naman?!" Charles shouted at me but I just stared at him very calmly.
"Sh, it's bad to shout at others. They might feel hurt when you do that..." Malumanay na pangangaral ni Ate at nilingon ako. "She's my sister, bunso kong kapatid..." Ate giggled. "Look, mukha kayong magka-age lang. Ang cute niyong tignan tatlo..."
"Are you a doll?"
Natigilan kami.
Marahang gumilid ang tingin ko sa isang lalaki na katabi ni Charles. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, siya si Radgeon. Madiin ang tingin nito na parang wala nang balak alisin sa akin. He has this very serious face and dull energy. I hate it!
"No." I firmly responded.
"You look like one." He pursed his lips after replying. Hindi ko naman na siya pinansin.
"Nasaan kaya ang mga sales clerk dito?" Ate asked while roaming her eyes around. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa akin kalaunan. "May nakita ka ba, Cursia?"
Umiling ako. "None..."
"Wala sila dahil inutusan ko lahat!" The boy Charles shouted at us again so I glare at him. "Hindi naman sila makaka-hindi dahil mawawalan sila ng trabaho kapag hindi nila ako sinunod!"
"Immature." I whispered. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya kaya hindi sinasadyang nagtama ulit ang tingin namin nung Radgeon. Mukhang hindi manlang niya inalis ang tingin sa akin. "And, so are you." I whispered too.
I heard his gasped. "I'm not."
"You are."
"No."
"You are."
"No."
"Shh, walang mag-aaway..." Suway ni Ate. "Curse, behave. Dito lang kayo. I'll go to front desk of this store..." Aniya at tumalikod dala-dala ang gallon at posporo.
"Hoy! Sandali! Akin na 'yan!" Sigaw pa ulit nung Charles at sumunod kay Ate kaya nilingon ko ulit ang pinsan niya, si Radgeon.
I glared at him. "You're bad, the two of you." I've said.
"I'm not." Radgeon denies again.
Uminit ang ulo ko. "You're trying to burn everything here. That's very despicable!"
"I'm not." He denied again and sighed. "Charles wanted that. I'm here to stop him."
"Liar!"
"I'm not."
"Liar!"
"Not."
"Liar!"
"Not."
"You're irritating!" I shout at him. "You and your cousin is playing too much. It's out of the hand. I'm smart kaya you can't fool me!" Pagalit ko. Nanatili naman siyang pinapanood lang ang aking itsura sa isang kalmadong tindig. "I'm fully aware that, you and your cousin brought a gallon of gasoline and matche here to put a huge fire on this place!"
Hindi siya sumagot agad. Nanatili lang siyang nakatitig sa akin. Tumagilid ng kaunti ang ulo niya habang pinagmamasdan ako at kalauna'y ngumisi. "You're so gorgeous..." He chuckled a little. "I'm sorry. I'm not paying attention. What are you saying again?"
My anger burst. "I said-"
"Aw!"
Natigilan ako at mabilis na napalingon sa dinaanan nila Ate Angel at Charles.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari pero namilog ang mata ko nung maabutang bahagyang nakadapa na si Ate sa sahig habang sapo-sapo niya ang kanyang binti. It's clearly na may sumipa sa kanya kaya agad na dumapo ang masamang tingin ko kay Charles, he's already holding the galloon and matche. Tatayo sana si Ate at kukunin ulit ang mga delikadong bagay na 'yon pero bigla siyang tinulak ni Charles sa isang pintuan na saktong nasa likod niya. I saw Charles locked it kaya mabilis akong tumakbo sa pintuan na nandoon.
"Ate!" I shouted and try to unlocked the door but it was so hard because it's heavy and steel. "What have you done?!" Sigaw ko agad bago nilingon si Charles but my eyes suddenly widened when I saw him burn a burner stove near us. "Hey!" I shouted again but he wasn't listening. Lumipat pa siya sa iba at sinindahan 'yon kaya ibinalik ko nalang ang tingin sa pintuan kung nasaan si Ate. I feel so nervous!
"Cursia, honey! Unlocked the door!" I heard Ate shouted behind a glass window of the door.
"I can't! It's so heavy and huge!" I panicked too. I roamed my eyes around to seek help pero wala na akong makitang iba. No, meron. Nag-iisa. "Hey!" Sigaw ko kay Radgeon na masama na ang tingin sa nasusunog na stove malapit sa akin. "Hey! Help me!" I shouted. Napatingin naman siya sa akin at mabilis na tumakbo papalapit. Akala ko, tutulungan niya ako pero mabilis niya akong hinila papalayo. "Hey!" Pinigilan ko siya pero mahigpit ang hawak niya sa akin.
"It's going to explode!"
"What?!"
"The stove-"
*BOMBB!!*
Nadapa kami ni Radgeon nung sumabog ang isang stove. May isa pang sumabog sa hindi kalayuan na mukhang sinindihan rin ni Charles kaya mas kinabahan ako. Nag-uumpisa ng kumapal ang usok sa buong store at nakakarinig na ako ng ilang sigawan mula sa labas ng area.
Tumayo ako at tumakbo ulit papunta sa pintuan kung nasaan si Ate. Hindi ko na napansing umiiyak na ako dahil sa panic at takot. I tried to open it again but I really can't. It's frustrating to have a small and fragile body! "Help us! Please!" I shouted again but it did not help at all.
"Cursia! Get out now! I'm fine!" Ate declared pero umiling ako at sinubukan pa ring buksan ang pintuan. Narinig ko ang pag-ubo niya sa loob kaya mas natakot ako. Pumapasok na yata ang usok mula sa itaas ng kanyang silid sa loob.
"No! I can't! You're suffucating there!" I shouted while crying. "Help!!!"
*EXPLODESS!!!*
"Hey! It's getting dangerous! Let's go!" Napalingon ako sa pumigil sa aking kamay, it's Radgeon.
Tinulak ko siya at masamang tinignan habang lumuluha. "This is all your fault!"
"Let's go already! Whatever you do, you can't just open it because it's galvanized door! We're just kids! We can't unlocked it! Let's just call for help outside!" Sigaw niya at hinawakan ulit ang aking braso pero iwiniksi ko ito.
"He's right, Cursia! It's fine! I'm fine! Just go already! Kung hindi kayo aalis, mata-trap kayo rito! Look behind you, kumakalat na ang apoy!" I heard Ate shouted inside the door kaya mas naiyak ako at napailing-iling. Narinig ko na naman ang pag-ubo niya sa loob kaya mas humagulgol ako.
"I can't! You have an asthma! Ate, I can't leave you behind!" Pinunanasan ko ang aking mukha. "M-Maybe, we can do something else!" I roamed my eyes around pero agad ring ibinalik sa kanya ang tingin nung may maisip. "You have your phone right?! Call Brother Vile and Sin! Call everyone!"
"I already call them pero hindi sila agad makakarating! Whatever transportation they take, it's useless dahil mabilis kumalat ang apoy! Just leave me behind already! Iligtas mo ang sarili mo!" Pagalit at nagmamadaling paliwanag niya. "Just go ahead and ask for help para hindi ka na mag-alala..." Bumuntong-hininga siya at pilit akong nginitian. "Hey, it's fine... I'm fine, Cursia. I can handle this..."
"Let's go, already!" Rinig ko pang sigaw ni Radgeon pero hindi matanggal ang tingin ko kay Ate.
"Ate..." I called her while crying.
"Sh..." She smiled. "I'm fine... everything is fine..."
*EXPLODES!!*
"Let's go!!" Mahigpit akong hinawakan ni Radgeon sa braso at sapilitang hinila kaya wala akong nagawa. He dragged me out pero nahirapan kami dahil punong-puno na pala ng apoy ang buong store, iilan nalang ang hindi. Ilang beses pa kaming nakarinig ng paulit-ulit na pagsabog at sigawan ng mga tao sa labas ng area kaya mas naiyak ako sa mga nangyayari. "Here! Here!" Aniya ni Radgeon nung may makita siyang lusutan. Bagsak na ang isang divider at nakalean ito sa isa pa kaya mayroon pa ring daanan sa ilalim kahit paano. Ako ang pinauna niya kaya umiiyak akong gumapang hanggang sa makalabas. Matapos ko, siya naman. Hinintay ko siya kahit na umaapoy na ang paligid namin at sa hindi inaasahan, nung saktong paglabas niya bigla siyang sumigaw sa akin. "Hey! Watch out!" Itinulak niya ako kaya humagis ako sa kabilang banda.
Nung lingunin ko siya, namilog ang mata ko nung makitang nakahiga na siya sa sahig habang may box ng rice-cooker sa ulunan niya. Hindi na siya gumagalaw kaya humahagulgol akong lumapit sa kanya at tinulak ang mabigat na box na nakapatong sa kanyang ulo. Nanlaki ang mata ko nung makitang dumudugo ang kabilang side ng kanyang ulo. Wala na rin siyang malay kaya agad kong kinapa ang kanyang pulso kung may buhay pa ba, mas napaiyak ako sa kaginhawaan nung mapagtantong meron pa.
"Hoy! Hoy! Doon! Doon may bata doon!"
"Iligtas niyo! Iligtas niyo!"
"Bakit ang tagal nung mga bombero?!"
"Where's the rescuer?!"
"Umatras muna yung iba, hoy!"
"Ang bilis kumalat ng apoy, jusko!"
I heard everyone's voices.
As the speed of light, heavy sobs just filled within me. Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras at pangyayari, basta ang alam ko, kasalukuyan na akong nasa labas ng area ng appliances kung saan nasusunog na ang buong pwesto nito sa mall. May nagligtas na sa amin. Nasa labas ako at nakasalampak sa sahig habang umiiyak. Pinapalibutan na rin ako ng mga tao at sinusubukan akong patahanin at tulungang pakalmahin but they can't force me. And, Radgeon? He's beside me, lying unconsciously.
Random noises, humming sadness, and sorrow beating of hearts. All of them are the one that I could process and absorb right now, wala ng iba. My body's wracked with sobs and each one of them is a fresh wave of grief. My sister, my confidante, the other half of my childhood, was responsible for this devastation. I'm filled with so much frustration for myself because I can't do anything to help my sister. I feel awful because of that and though, that what it's seems to be, I could also feel the one word question screaming within me.
Why?
The question echoed in the hollow space of my chest. I cannot accept this. I'm frustrated with myself but I also couldn't help but to ask destiny why it's happening to us, to me, certainly. My sister and I, we've done nothing to deserve all of these. We just wanted to be happy. We wanted to kill some time to free and enjoy ourselves. We supposed to be enjoying the day now. We are supposed to enjoy shopping together. But, why? Why is this all happening? I couldn't understand. In a quick flick, she disappeared.
Wreck.
I feel wrecked. A wave of despair washed over me. It's so heavy that it's actually threatened to drown me. It already wrecked me all. The sadness and sorrow dragged within me. They stand tall in front and with that? Everything becomes dark. It feels like the color of the world had lost its vibrant colors, leaving behind a dull, washed-out gray. Sadness hugged me and it had a weight to it, a hollowness that settled deep within my bones. And the sorrow? It crept in slowly. Sorrow was filled and covered inside of me. All of that emotion, outsmarted me. As if in the end, they become ruler of my own system.
"Curse?"
I slowly opened my eyes. A light that keeps flickering in broken fluorescent snatch my vision as I finally awake. Blur at first, but it becomes clear eventually.
"Curse, thank goodness!" Rinig kong usal ni Zeor nung magsimula akong gumalaw para bumangon. "Are you okay? Ano ang masakit? Saan?" Sunod-sunod na tanong niya, tuluyan naman akong nakaupo.
Nanatili akong tahimik.
Bumuntong-hininga ako at iginala ang tingin sa paligid. We're still here in the storage room and at some point, I could hear the heavy rainfall outside. Napapikit ako ng mariin para ibwelo ang sarili at ilang sandali pa, napasinghap ako as I analyze what happened. Mukhang nawalan ako ng malay dahil sa pag-inda ng matinding sakit ng aking ulo at paniguradong ilang oras na naman ang nasayang mula sa aking pagkakatulog.
"Curse, ano? Ayos ka lang? Nagugutom ka na ba?" Zeor worriedly asked again. I would have supposedly respond to him when suddenly Brother Vile entered the room.
Blanko ang mukha niya nung magtama ang paningin namin, mukhang hindi na nagulat sa pagkagising ko. May dala rin siyang plastic plate and plastic spoon na mukhang tinda yata ng convenience store kung nasaan kami, it's indeed for me. Also, he brought food for me. As I've looked at it, it looks strange but I'm aware that it's probably a food that is full of vitamins, a nutriment for my condition.
I sighed. Walang pasintabi akong tumayo at lumapit kay kuya para yakapin siya. Hindi naman siya pumiksi o gumalaw.
"Are you fine already?" He asked in monotone.
Tumango ako. "I already recall what happened to us..." Pumikit ako ng mariin. "...to Ate Angel."
"I know you would."
Nilingon ko siya pero hindi pa rin ako bumibitaw sa yakap. "But, Brother..." Suminghap ako. Biglang pumasok si Radge sa silid kaya agad akong napalingon sa kanya. Nanlambot ang aking ekspresyon bago nagsalita. "Radge has nothing to do with it."
✎.