Mordecai turns on the television, Rigby inserts the game cartridge in the console and (Y/n) presses the power button on the console. "D-d-d-d-daaaaa-Dig Champs!" The announcer in the game said. "Dudes, these are probably the best graphics I've ever seen in my life." Rigby said. "Dude, it looks just like the cover." Mordecai said. (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby chuckle at the cover of the game and the game itself, with the cover obviously looking better and different then the actual game. "Oh man. Guys, let's play it." (Y/n) said. "Woah, woah, woah!
You can't play game like this right out of the box. We should stretch it out first. We don't want to pull our "hammies," know what I'm sayin'? Hey, whatta ya doin'?" Rigby asked. "Starting. Hurry up, and, pick your character. Hehehe!" Mordecai said. "Aw, what? I wanted to be player one!" Rigby said. "Too bad." (Y/n) said. "Dude, she's player one. You're player two." Mordecai said. "I don't wanna be player two! He just digs with a sucky pick axe! I want the one with the shovel!" Rigby said. "Dude, they're exactly the same." (Y/n) said.
"Then why don't you be player two?" Rigby asked her, and she scoffs. "I'm not using that sucky pick axe." She said, and Rigby gasps. "See?!" He asked. "Dude, calm down. Just play Punchies to see who gets to be player one." Mordecai said. "Fine." Rigby tries to punch (Y/n), but fails. She then punches Rigby and wins. "Ahh!" He shouted. "Looks like I'm player one." (Y/n) said. "No! It's not fair! You two always get your way! Let's play Punchies, let's play Punchies. I'm sick of it! Of course I'm not gonna beat either of you at punchies." Rigby said. "Dude, you don't beat anybody at punchies." Mordecai said. "Yes I do." Rigby said. "No you don't." (Y/n) said.
~Flashbacks~
Rigby and Muscle Man are playing punchies. Muscle Man wins. Pops with his eyes closed punches Rigby to the wall and he screams. In the last flashback, seemingly drunk Mordecai and Pops see also seemingly drunk Skips punch Rigby. Rigby is being taken off by a helicopter presumably to a hospital.
~Present~
"We-oo! We-oo! We-oo! Quick, doctor, both of these butt cheeks are unrecognizable." Mordecai said, and (Y/n) began cracking up. "If we want anyone to be able to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, stat!" Mordecai said, causing (Y/n) to laugh harder. "STOP TALKING!!! There was only damage to the one cheek and you know it!" Rigby shouted. "Hahaha! That's right! We used to call you the One Cheek Wonder!" (Y/n) said. "Dude, I'm bringin' it back." Mordecai said. "You better not!" Rigby shouted. "Is that One Cheek wonder? I hope he's not trying to play Punchies with cheeks like that!" Muscle Man said. "Hahahahahaha!" The three heard more laughter. Rigby covers them with his tail. "Shut up! Don't look at them!" He shouted.
"Oh, Rigby. You're so adorable when you get angry." (Y/n) cooed, and this caught him totally off guard. "Adorable?" He asked. "Yup." (Y/n) said. Rigby's face turns red with anger and embarrassment. "Ugh, shut up! I'll win at punchies, you'll see!" Rigby runs to his and Mordecai's room. "Wahhh!!!" Rigby jumps on Mordecai's bed. "Ugh! Ugh! Dumb Mordecai! Dumb (Y/n)! I hate both of you!" He shouted. "You better not be messing up my side of the room." Mordecai said. "Dude, he's definitely ruining your side of the room." (Y/n) said, and he groans. Rigby yells and grabs a book.
"YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!" He throws the book at the door, it bounces of and hits him in the face. "Oww!!!" He screeches in pain continually. A frustrated Mordecai puts on headphones and plays the video game with (Y/n) as she giggles at Rigby's dramatic behavior."Ughh! Stupid bo..." he then notices something. "...ok?" An interested Rigby looks at the phone book, which says "Death Kwon Do." Death Kwon Do? "Learn kicks, chops and punches in moments. Unlock your full potential today"? Yeees..."
Time Skip
"It's a touching story. Really, it is. But I don't know if you're ready for Death Kwon Do." The Sensei said. "Why not?" Rigby asked. "Death Kwon Do is all about self-defense. But, from the sound of it, you just want to hit harder." He replied. "Uhhhh....no? Can you just teach me something?" Rigby asked. "Hmm. Determination. I like that. Okay, I'll teach you some beginner defensive moves. All you gotta do is pick from the sacred text of Death Kwon Do." The Sensei holds up a book titled "Death Kwon Do." "Let's see, we can start you off with "Bicep Flex of Death." Or there's the "Leg Lifts of Death." That's a good beginner's move. Or the "Pelvic Thrust of Death." That's one of my personal favorites." Rigby is searching for moves in the book.
"That one. That's the one I want. The Death Punch." He said. "That I'm afraid is not for beginners." The Sensei said. "What, why?" Rigby asked. "Because you only want to use it to beat up your friends, and a girl, which is like, really uncool. You're not pure of heart!" He said. "What? Don't call me "not pure of heart"! What about you with your crappy mullet? You're the one who's not pure of heart!" Rigby said accusingly. "That's it! I'm turning my back on you and counting to three, of death. And when I turn back around, you're toast!" Rigby flinches and the man turns around. "One of death. Two of death." A rip is heard. Rigby has ripped out "The Death Punch of Death." "NOOOOOOOOOOOO—" "Uhh...Sensei, uhh.., I think somebody just Death Kwon Clogged the toilet." One of the students said. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Rigby is trying to learn how to perform the
"The Death Punch." Rigby fails, but learns how The Death Punch is used to have a mullet. He combs his hair into one, but still fails. He then learns you also have to wear cut jeans to perform it. He cuts the legs off of a pair of jeans and puts them on. He successfully performs The Death Punch by braking his and Mordecai's burrow. "Whoa... Time to take this baby for a test drive." Rigby said. Rigby goes outside. "Huh-waaaaayyyyy! Hah!" He targets Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost. "Heyy-yah! Heyy-yah! Heyyyyyyyyyy-yah! Hah! He "punches" Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost. Muscle Man hits the wall. "Oh no, bro..." he said. Rigby then targets Pops. "Heyy-yah!" Rigby punches Pops up to the sun. Rigby then targets Skips. "Heyyyy-yah!" He punches Skips all the way a park light, leaving a rut. "Hah! Mmmeeeh!" Rigby explodes the Snack Bar. Then the park fountain.
Then a carnival tent. And finally, a rock. "Uhhhhh-aughhhhh! You're next, Mordecai and (Y/n)!" Rigby shouted. "All right, Rigby, cry baby time's over. Come on, let's go get some food. I'm buying." (Y/n) said as she opens the door to her best friends' room and her eyes widened. "HOLY!" "What? What is it?" Mordecai asked, as he had just come out from the bathroom and looked in. Mordecai notices Rigby's destruction of their room. "Aw, what? Rigby! Aughhhhh! He's gonna pay for this." He said. (Y/n) picks up the phone book. "Death Kwon Do?" She asked.
"Wait, what?" Mordecai asked as he approaches her and takes the book. "Where are you two? I wanna play you in punchies!" Rigby shouted. Mordecai and (Y/n) look through the shades of the window. "Hey, mister, have you seen Mordecai and (Y/n)?" Rigby asked. "Uhhhh.., no. W-who's.." Rigby punches the Man. "Ughhhhhh!" "Have you seen them?" Rigby asked another person. "Seen w-ughhhhh!" Rigby punches the second man. "How 'bout you?" Rigby asked again, he punches the third man up on the window. "Ughhhh! Uhhhhhh........" "Oh, so you think you're gonna beat us at punchies? Well, I've got news for you. We know your little secret." (Y/n) said.
"Uh... look, (Y/n), maybe you should stay out of this." Mordecai said. "What?! Why? I'm strong too, you know! Just 'cause I'm a girl don't think-" he quickly put his hands up. "It has nothing to do with that! I just don't want to risk you getting hurt, okay? Let me handle him." Mordecai said, and (Y/n) sighs. "Fine..." The park is now destroyed beyond repair. "Rowr, rowr, rowr, rowr!" A dog barks. "Uhmmm." "Now massage this foot!" Rigby said. "But I already did that one." Skips said. "Then rub it again! Unless you want to get punched again. And Pops, what's with the easy-breezy? Speed it up! My pepperonis are roasting down here!" Rigby snapped. "Uhh-hmm!" Pops whimpers. "Muscle Man, you see Mordecai or (Y/n) yet?" Rigby asked. "Uhhh, I can't see anything." He lowers the binoculars, revealing two black eyes. "ENOUGH!" (Y/n) shouted loudly, catching everyone's attention.
"We're right here, Rigby." Mordecai said. "Gimme those!" Rigby notices Mordecai's attire. His hair is in a mullet and he is wearing jean shorts like Rigby, he then notices (Y/n) standing behind him. "Rigby, what are you doing?! You've clearly let the powers of Death Kwon Do get to your head. You're nothing but a bully now!" (Y/n) shouted furiously. "Shut up!" Rigby snapped, then looks over at Mordecai. "Looks like you've learned the ways of Death Kwon Do. Why didn't you learn any, (Y/n)? too afraid to take me head on? Or maybe you just know girls are too weak to fight." Rigby taunted, and (Y/n) growls furiously. "Why you little shi-" "That's enough." Mordecai sneered. "I told her to stay out of this." He said. "Aw! Why, trying to protect your girlfriend?" Rigby taunts, and (Y/n) looks like she wants to kill him.
"She's not my girlfriend!" Mordecai shouted. "Whatever! Neither of you can't handle The Death Punch!" Rigby said. "I can handle it just fine, but leave (Y/n) out of this, dude!" Mordecai said. "What?! Never! Have you forgotten how many times she's teased me and punched me too?" Rigby snapped, glaring at him. "You always started it! Listen, dude, you lay one finger on her-" Rigby ignores him and lunges toward her. Her eyes widened just as Mordecai blocks him off and Rigby punches Mordecai instead, but seems to have done no damage. "What?!" Rigby was shocked. "How come you're not dead yet?" He asked.
"Probably because I learned "The Death Block." He holds up the page for it. "It worked pretty good for a first try, either that or your Death Punch totally blows." He said. "I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!!!! Yayhyhyhyhy!" Rigby said as he once again tries to attack him. "Hmm-hmm. You're never gonna beat me at punchies." Mordecai said. "Nyaaaaahhhhh!" Rigby repeatedly punches Mordecai,
albeit failing, as the hole surrounding the two gets wider and deeper and Skips, Pops, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost watch the impact. Rigby begins panting. "Are you finished yet?" Mordecai asked. "Not until I smash you two!!!!! Hyhaaw!" He punches Mordecai again and begins panting, but suddenly, a crack rips up the wall causing rock and soil to fly out, the lava starts to ooze out of the crack. "Whoa." Mordecai said. "Uh oh." (Y/n) said.
"What? Are you both afraid of a little lava? Hyayaaha!" Because of the punches, more cracks and lava occur. "Rigby, this is serious! We gotta get outta here!" (Y/n) shouted. "Never! Not until I beat you both at punchies! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!" More lava begins to spew. "Dude, stop! We're gonna die!" Mordecai shouted. "I don't care!!! I'm sick of you two always winning!!!!" Rigby shouted. Mordecai and (Y/n) look at each other in realization about Rigby's statement. In the flashbacks, Mordecai and (Y/n) first punch Rigby in his arm. And again. And again. Then on his side. Then on his back. And finally, in his crotch. Mordecai realizes that from all the times he and Rigby played punchies, not only does he or (Y/n) always win, but they act like complete jerks to Rigby. "I'm not quitting 'till I win!!!"
Rigby then punches (Y/n) hard in the face and she flies back. "(Y/N)!" Mordecai shouted. "Heh-huh. Heh-huh. Heh-huh. Hah! I told ya I was gonna win! In yo face! Yay-hay-hay! I finally get to be player one!" Rigby said. "What?! That's what this is about?! You hurt (Y/n) just because you wanted to be player one?!" Mordecai asked furiously. "Huh! That's all I ever wanted!" Rigby said, his eyes then trail over to (Y/n) and he then realizes what he just did, and his eyes widen in horror. "Oh no! No no, no!" Rigby quickly runs over to her as she recovers from his punch. "(Y/n), are you okay?! I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to,
I swear! It's just, you and Mordecai just kept teasing me an-" she quickly waves her paws. "Whoa, dude, it's okay I'm fine!" She said. "Huh?!" Rigby asks in shock. "I can handle one punch, dude." She said. "But that was a death punch!" Rigby said, and Mordecai looks at her, raising an eyebrow, and she smirks. "I told you I was strong." She said, and he smirks too. Rigby then sobs.
"Dude, quit crying. She said she was okay." Mordecai said. "I know, but what good is being okay now? We're just gonna die in this lava!!!" He shouted. "Don't worry, dude. I can get us away from the lava." Mordecai said. "Really? How?" (Y/n) asked. "You think I'm dumb enough to steal only one Death Kwon Do move?" Mordecai replied. "Wha-?" Rigby asked. "Now, how do you two wanna get outta here? "The Death Jump" or "The Death Dump"?" Mordecai asked. "Aw, sick!!!" Rigby said.
"Better go with the Death Jump." He said. "Hold on tight." Mordecai flies up to the sky holding Rigby and (Y/n). "Why, yes sir, I have the Death Jump, and the Death Dump right he—" the Sensei opens the notebook... only to find both the Death Jump and Death Dump pages ripped out, courtesy of Mordecai. "NOOOOOOOOOO—" "Da-da-da-da-da--Dig Champs!" The game announcer said. "Aw, yes! It's finally happening!" Rigby said.
"Yep. For once being a huge baby actually worked out for you." Mordecai said. "Stop talking!!!!!!!!" Rigby shouted, and (Y/n) giggles, causing Rigby to blush a bit, then huff and cross his arms. "Hah-ha-hah. Dude, just hurry up and play. You're just gonna die right at the beginning anyway." (Y/n) said. "Mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah. Unn. I'll show you." Rigby said. Rigby plays the game and is soon killed by a snail. "Aw, what? Snails are bad? I thought snails were good!" Rigby said. "Wait, are you serious?" (Y/n) asked him. "No, dude, snails are bad." Mordecai said. "Aw, man. This sucks... I wanna be player two." Rigby said, (Y/n) face palms.