((**mini 2.8k**))
"Put me down."
"You're obviously doing better if you're ready to argue."
They both knew Alexia didn't need to be okay to be arguing with her.
"Put me down, Ridley."
"That's not a nice way to talk to someone who's helping you."
"Why are you even here?"
"To check on you."
"To check on me or Chiquito?"
"Can't it be both?"
Alexia gave a frustrated sound.
"Put me down."
"No."
"You can't carry me all the way, I'm heavy."
"Yes, I can, and no, you are not."
"Ridley-"
"I was in the military. I've been through worse."
"Yes, as a pilot. Is that where you get your stubbornness from?"
Ridley looked down at her and was not disappointed by the grumpy look she had on her fatigued, sweaty face. She smirked.
"I went through SERE training. And no, I like to think that was genetically gifted to me."
"Blau mentioned that..."
"Hm. What did she say?"
"Nothing, she said I should ask you."
Ridley nodded like she already knew what Blau would have done. "Okay."
"Well?"
"Well, what? You haven't asked me a question."
"You're so frustrating!"
"And still, you can't get me out of your head."
Alexia went silent for a moment at that honesty.
Ridley looked at her and felt guilty again. "It's not a nice discussion to have."
"I just don't understand... you were a pilot. You weren't in the army."
Ridley sighed, knowing she'd never let it go. "No, but pilots are most likely to become prisoners in enemy territory if we crash or eject or run out of fuel. We needed to be trained to endure it."
"Endure what? Australia isn't fighting anyone."
Ridley stepped into the lift; Alexia still cradled safely in her arms. "Press the button, please."
"Not until you tell me more."
Alexia saw Ridley's jaw flex as she manoeuvred and pressed the penthouse button with her elbow.
"There's a lot of fighting happening that the public isn't aware of."
Alexia's eyes widened. "You... fought?"
"I was one of a few who were involved in live combat, yes."
"And so... how did they train you?"
Ridley made a frustrated noise. "What do you want me to say here, Alexia? They tortured us. Broke us. Again, and again. They drowned us and starved us and broke our bodies down to make us stronger. They broke us until it was impossible to torture us. So that we could endure any type of pain. Is that what you want to hear?" Ridley was looking at her now, those memories flooding across her face, across those dark eyes. "So yes, I can carry you until my fucking bones break, and beyond."
Alexia let that hang in the air a few moments, both regretting having asked, and grateful that she knew. She felt like such a large piece of Ridley had just slotted into place. Did Ridley see her feelings for Alexia as a weakness to be drilled out of her?
Alexia put a hand over the large heart Ridley didn't want to admit she had. "Thank you for telling me."
Ridley took a few more breaths to calm herself and Alexia watched as the pain subsided and empathy took hold. "Lex just... save your breath please. You need to rest."
A few more moments of silence were had in the lift and Alexia couldn't help but feel safe in her arms. Comfortable. Ridley didn't seem to be straining at all. Alexia knew she wasn't small; she was 173cm and almost 70kg, but looking at Ridley's calm face and feeling her arms hold her so easily, she felt like she weighed nothing to her.
She watched her as she stood, as she thought, somewhere off in the distant world of Ridley. There was something about her that was just so... fascinating to her.
The lift reached the top floor and Ridley stepped out and walked her to the door.
"Door, please."
Instead of arguing, Alexia opened the door, and Ridley closed it with her foot when they were in. It was a beautiful feeling, stepping inside. The house smelled lovely, the aircon hit her body which sent a little shiver up her spine, and Chiquito greeted them.
"Hello my little man," Ridley greeted him in Spanish before walking them ever so slowly inside. "Has he been keeping you company?"
"Yes, very well actually."
"He can be quite... clingy at times. It's one of the things I love most about him."
"He's very much like you."
"You think I'm clingy?"
"I don't know you well enough for that."
It was a little dig, and Ridley knew it, but she didn't bite.
"Are you feeling dizzy? Lightheaded?"
"No."
Ridley paused her steps to give her a sceptical look. "You're trembling."
"Maybe because I lost the feeling in my legs having been carried from a park."
Ridley only smiled. "Tell me the truth."
After a few moments of silence, Alexia admitted, "I'm only a little lightheaded."
Ridley nodded and continued to the couch. "Feel sick?"
"Yes."
"Okay." Ridley placed her ever-so-gently down onto the couch, and laid her down. Alexia's eyes found hers as Ridley cradled the back of her head all the way until it was touching the couch. "Lie here to calm your body for a minute or so. When I come back, we'll sit you up."
"Where are you going?"
Ridley didn't respond, she just disappeared. She reappeared soon with a bottle of water and another bottle with a coloured liquid. She placed them on the coffee table as she learnt back over Alexia. God, it took her breath away when she did that.
"Would you like to sit up now?"
Alexia didn't trust her words; not while she was drowning in her eyes. She nodded.
"Okay, Lex. Arms around my neck." Alexia did what she was told and Ridley lowered her head just past her ear. The feel of her breath there tickled and tingled while her hands found her waist.
Alexia held on as Ridley manoeuvred her up the couch until she was resting against it. As Ridley pulled back and their faces moved close to each other, there was a moment where they both paused as they felt each other just a breath away.
Alexia couldn't help her eyes flicking to her lips and when she looked back up, Ridley's eyes betrayed her inner conflict. She broke first and pulled away, placing the two bottle near her.
"Water and electrolytes. Drink."
She was so demanding, so dominant, but it didn't come from a place where dominance usually came from. Usually people wanted it to control others, to fulfil some sense of validation or desire. But with Ridley, she could tell it wasn't the case. She wasn't telling her what to do harshly. She wasn't demanding it. There was no ego in her voice, and yet still, she was listened to. Because with Ridley, you knew it wasn't a power play. She was just so good at making decisions that you knew to do as she said because she always made the correct decision in any situation, no matter how controversial or morally ambiguous.
Alexia picked up a bottle and opened it as Ridley walked away. She took a sip and relished the taste as she gave her body what it so desperately needed.
Ridley arrived back with ice and sat on the couch at Alexia's legs, pulling her bad one across her body. She wrapped the ice around it, her eyes lingering on the scars.
"I'm assuming this is all about your knee?"
"Yes..."
Ridley nodded and stood, placing her leg back down as she walked away again. This time Alexia couldn't help herself.
"Where are you going?"
"To make you lunch."
Alexia felt so sick, she didn't think she'd be able to eat.
"I don't think I can."
She heard Ridley fiddling around in the kitchen not a minute later. Of course. Stubbornness. Alexia sighed and kept herself hydrated until she returned and placed the prettiest bowl of oatmeal and fruits in front of her that she'd ever seen.
"Good carbs for the low blood sugar. Eat, la Reina."
Her sick feeling went away with that. Slowly at first, and then more so. She groaned at that first mouthful and Ridley watched her until she was satisfied and left again. Alexia started eating faster, her body coming back to life until a hand touched her shoulder gently.
"Slow down, Alexia. Give your body time to adjust."
Alexia did as she was told as Ridley made her way back around the couch and sat at her feet with a bottle in her hand. She gestured to her knee.
"May I?"
"It's tender..."
"I know."
She hesitated but nodded because she trusted her. Ridley sat between her legs and pulled her bad one into her lap, removing the icepack. She watched as the fingers of her good hand felt around her ACL and the entirety of her knee, front and back, and leading up into her thigh. When her inspection was done, she put some lubricant on her hand and massaged her knee. It was sore at first, and then... Alexia's eyes rolled into the back of her head at the relief. She moaned, her head falling back onto the couch, the bowl of food forgotten in her lap.
Her fingers. Her fucking fingers. And her palm. And with a broken hand?! It was so good, she could almost orgasm. Another sound escaped her without permission.
"You can come if you really want to. I don't mind."
Typical Ridley. Alexia scoffed and her head shot back up as she fired back. "You're giving me permission?"
Ridley shrugged nonchalantly. "I wouldn't dare. You know what you want, la Reina."
"Of course you don't care. This would be the only way you'd make me come."
Ridley paused and a question flashed across her face. She thought better of it and then one look at Alexia made her ask it. "Did you come to London thinking I'd fuck you?"
Alexia froze. She didn't, did she? She wasn't sure herself. She wondered how long Ridley had been pondering over that question.
"I came to get away."
Ridley held her gaze until she was satisfied and nodded, returning to her work. "Good. Because we've had this discussion."
That statement made Alexia angry, and she didn't want to admit it, but it hurt. "So you wouldn't care if I slept with Meg?"
Ridley's face was all too neutral. "Meg?"
"My physio."
"Ah," she nodded. "Well, Katie did say she was pretty, did she not? Perhaps it will be good for you."
"You don't know what's good for me!"
Ridley paused again, her eyes moving from her work, to the water and electrolytes, to the bowl of food in front of her. "You keep telling yourself that, Lex."
"You're really encouraging this?" Her voice broke because she was hurt.
"You can fuck who you want, Alexia. It's your body. Your decision."
"You wouldn't care?"
"I never said that." Ridley sighed and moved Alexia's legs around her, replacing the icepack as she started on her other leg. "I can't provide you with intimacy, so it would be selfish of me to be anything but encouraging."
She never said she didn't care.
"But you can offer it."
Ridley sighed, exasperated. "No, I can't."
Alexia was at her breaking point. "I care about you've been through. What you've seen and what you've done. I know you must have done and seen some horrible things in the past, especially in the air force," Ridley's jaw flexed, "but you can trust me. You can talk to me."
"They're not your burdens to bear. They are mine, and mine alone."
"But-"
"What do you want from me, Alexia?" Ridley was almost mad now, her eyes finding the footballers. "You want me to fuck you right here on this couch? Against the kitchen counter over there? In the gym? In the pool? You want to use me like that? Huh? That's just sex. If all you want from me is sex, then just ask and I'll make you scream so loud it'll wake the fucking building. But you can't, because there's something more than that, and you know it."
It was so brutally honest and Alexia was ashamed to admit how wet it made her. She wanted her, but not like that. Not like one of her girls. She bit back. "Oh and it wouldn't be a problem for you? Feeling me, tasting me, hearing me come with you? Feeling my fingers inside of you and the sensation of my mouth on you?" She looked around. "How many women have you fucked in here, anyways?"
Ridley shook her head and gave a disappointed look at her. She knew Alexia was lashing out because she was hurt. "None."
"Lies."
"I don't lie," she said, hard. "You know that."
"None?"
"None."
Then why was she here?
"Why?"
"Because... because my brother always wanted to visit London." Alexia's rage disappeared like it was never there. "And when we were kids I promised him I'd bring him here and buy him a house. It... it doesn't feel right."
"So..."
Ridley answered like Alexia had asked her a question. Because she understood her. "So you're the closest thing to a partner who's ever been here, Lex."
That nickname again. The closest thing to a partner. Alexia reached out and touched her arm. "Let me in..." she begged. Alexia never begged but she'd happily get on her knees for her.
Ridley was silent a few more moment. "You want more from me than I can give."
Ridley stayed until late; the two lost in each other. Ridley shared her music with her, why she was passionate about it, how it made her feel, and Alexia... Alexia shared her football and her friends and... in the hopes that it would get Ridley to open up to her... she shared her dad. Her memories of him, things he said and did and how strongly he supported her. She cried unashamedly and Ridley wiped those tears away. They spent the rest of that day not together... but together. Close. Reassuring hugs and calming strokes. They moved together. Laughed together. Cooked dinner together, though Ridley did pick her up without her permission and sit her on the counter to get the weight off of her knee.
They found themselves on the couch in the theatre room as it grew late, Chiquito happily settled into Alexia's lap as they searched for a movie. That half a day made her London trip worth everything. And as she sat there, so close to Ridley but not quite touching, she realised just how deeply she cared for her. She watched as she scanned the movies; the tv lighting her face in different ways.
"We left the football in the park," Alexia murmured, only saying it to see how her face would react.
Ridley smirked and continued to scroll. "Actually, I kicked it to a kid who was eyeing it."
Of course she did. Ridley the philanthropist.
A few more moments in silence and they eventually picked a movie and played it.
It started and Ridley leant back into the couch, Alexia still watching her.
"Why did you really come today?"
Ridley refused to take her eyes off of the television and she wondered if it was a tactic to control herself.
"To make sure you were okay," she said in a husky voice.
"It would be easier if you just stay here instead of the hotel you don't need to be in." Alexia knew she didn't need to be there, and she watched Ridley relax as she found out she knew. Why did she relax?
"It's better this way."
Alexia sighed, almost defeated.
"Can you do me a favour?" The Australian asked suddenly.
"Anything." The word was out of her mouth before she could even think it.
"Please book in that physio for tomorrow. Your knee needs it and... I think it'd be good for you."
Alexia heard her actual meaning. She'd be good for you.
A glance between the pair confirmed it.
"For you."
That genuine Ridley smile softly warmed her face, lifting her scar as her cheek rose and Alexia could have died happy right then and there. The only reason she didn't is because it didn't quite reach her eyes.
She grudgingly took out her phone to book an appointment with Meg.
"Done?" Ridley asked.
"9am tomorrow."
"Thank you..."
"You owe me a favour."
"That's two now. Hurry up and chip them in."
Alexia fell asleep half way through the movie, the day dragging weariness into her. She felt her head resting on Ridley's shoulder, the rise of fall of it lulling her into a deeper sleep. She dreamt of her. Of them. Happy. Laughing as they had done that day.
And then she woke, and Ridley was gone.