After breakfast, Colton tells me that we are going to head outside to tend to the animals. He asked me if I wanted to bring a book outside and said that he would have to chain me to a tree in order to do so. He promised that I would be able to unwind and just sit under the tree today and enjoy one of my books before it started to get cold.
I confirm this with a nod and pick up my book. I follow him out of the back door towards the backyard, and then he grabs my hand with his own. He drags me towards a large oak tree that is kind of in the midst of the cow and horse pasture and has plenty of shade surrounding it.
He walked me over to the tree, and fasens the chain around it. He tells me to enjoy my book before walking away towards the chicken coop.
I took a few moments to glance around the property once again. They must have quite a bit of land because I don't even see the fence that he told me about.
Sighing loudly I force myself to stop thinking about getting away for a little while. Instead I focus on watching Colton walk into the chicken pen. When he's being nice, he's really not that bad. It's simply that he has this other side to him that makes him unfit to be a good husband. Over the past few days, that side of him has not surfaced. I'm not foolish. I'm aware that it's still present. Just been keeping it down on the lessons because I've been such a good wife.
I yearned to be set free, and I yearned to return to my life. What if this is to be my life from this point forward? What if I have no other option but to concede defeat and try to build a life with Colton that is at least a tiny bit happier than the one I had before?
Which other option do I have available to me right now? It's not like I've given up, because of course I haven't given up. I tried to catch the officer's attention, but it didn't work. I monitor what I say in order to avoid the lessons.
This has been a practice in his family for many generations, so they must be familiar with the strategies necessary to isolate someone from the rest of the world. Even if I ran away someday, he would only find me or catch me, and I don't believe that teaching me a lesson would even be part of his plan. If he ever realized that I could never be a good wife, he might go crazy and end my life.
It was awful at first I'll admit, the beatings and the rape, but when Colton isn't treating me like that he honestly has a soft side. Maybe I can change him a bit, although I know he won't change that much. I mean, my life isn't that horrible right now.
If I do something that I'm not supposed to, I'll still have to learn from it, but maybe I can learn how to be the ideal wife, and maybe I can even rewire my brain to think that way, so that my time here will be less difficult.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life being beaten and raped. Instead, I'd rather take pleasure in the moments of pleasure I have with a man and appreciate the experience as a whole.
I am aware that what I am saying is inappropriate to say about my kidnapper, but I am a human being and I cannot stop how I am starting to feel.
I've made a promise to myself that if or when that time comes and I don't make it free, I'll have no choice but to make my husband happy in order to have a peaceful life. I'm not giving up completely just yet. If I get a chance to get free from this, I will. I'll try my best one time last time. I'm not ready to give up.
I prop my knees up against the tree and open the book as I lean against it. The story in this one is about a duke who doesn't want to get married but his mother makes him in order for him to keep his title. It does sound interesting, and in all honesty, the majority of these books follow this pattern.
I was sound asleep when all of a sudden, I was jolted awake by Colt's words running through my ears.
My eyes pop up, and I blink rapidly in an effort to adjust to the intense brightness of the light as it shines down on us.
"I see that you got some shut eye," he chuckles in a low voice. "Did you get any reading done?" He asked. Sitting down next to me, leaning his back against the big tree.
When I look up at him, I can't help but smile when I see the dirt and sweat caked all over his hands and face.
He works hard.
When I look down at my book and realize that I must have been asleep after the fourth chapter, I remarked loudly. "I must have."
"Please read me some Wife. Because of how soothing and lovely your voice is, I may could end up falling asleep."
I gave him a friendly smile and continued reading from the point where I had left off. As I looked up, I noticed that he was resting his head against the tree and closing his eyes.