"You ask me what I like about you, but I just like you. Not something about you but just wholly you."
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Date: 8 November, 2021
Sweating and shaking aggressively, the dark haired male clutched his blanket, his eyes shut tightly before immediately jumping off his sleep with a gasp breathing heavily.
Yeonjun had to physically place his hands on his chest to calm himself down from how awful and insanely real his nightmare seemed. It was something he wouldn't like to experience again.
Tears clogged inside his chest finally fell down his cheeks wetting it in the process. Sighing out heavily, he softly mumbled-
"Soobin.."
Muttering the name to himself, he plopped himself to the mattress feeling obviously very hot from all the sweating and stuffy atmosphere. He had his eyes closed wanting to distract himself from the viscous thoughts only to suddenly feel chilly from his side. Opening his puffy yet wet eyes very slowly, he saw the person whom he just recalled a few seconds ago looking at him with a confused yet concerned face? He is just hallucinating at this point because the soul had the inability to feel any kind of definite emotions.
"I think you called me." The soul said obviously noticing the red nose tip of the human and the moist eyes of him. Yeonjun didn't speak anything but he just looked at the soul's hands before he himself brought his own hands forward wanting to touch them.
He just desperately wants to hold those comforting hands. Despite knowing that he is just a soul. Obviously, the male's hands penetrated through that of those transparent ones as if nothing ever exists there. An ugly sob escaped the male's mouth feeling a heavy weight of disappointment inside him.
He just wants to dive into his comforting embrace again. Is that too much to ask? He misses soobin so much that it hurts to even breath at this point.
How dare he feel so much emotions at a moment for the one whose soul is standing just right infront of him with an empty expression and voidness inside?
The soul just watched the human attempting to hold his hands and breaking down right on the spot most probably feeling disappointed for not being able to do.
"Poor human." Soobin heard his nomeon commenting at the state of the sobbing human infront of him. The soul was just as clueless as he could not understand what was actually going on. What should he do? Should he talk?
"Why don't you comfort the human soobin? Offer him your hand now." Soobin now questionably raised his eyebrows before muttering-
"He can't touch my hand you know for your kind infor-
"Well, that's my own words. I know so. For now do what I am telling you." Soobin's words were cut off when the nomeon interrupted his speech making him roll his eyes momentarily before focusing on the human.
He took a seat beside the male and spoke-
"Umm, hyung can you take my hands now?"
Yeonjun glanced at him for a brief amount of second obviously confused but did so without any further arguing. And his eyes widened when he was actually able to hold the soul's hands like the real feeling of holding hands.
Soobin was also bewildered suddenly feeling a warm hand enveloping his contrasting-cold ones. Yeonjun's insides went all jumpy that was filled with longing. That means if he could hold soobin's hands, he could also....
Without wasting any more second, Yeonjun hugged the supposed to be soul tightly and right he was, he could finally touch the younger.
Soobin threw an astonished look of disbelief to the male not expecting this sudden contact? What is he doing?
"It's called hug you stupid soul. Hug him back." Soobin flinched a little from the done and scolding tone of his nomeon. Feeling quite confused he extended his own hands copying the same gesture as the older male wrapping them around the mortal.
It feels.... calming for some reason.
Yeonjun on the other hand, felt like he achieved the whole world's most precious treasure right after hugging the younger one. He missed him so much it was getting difficult to hold himself back from expressing his feelings and acts of affection towards him. However, while hugging, yeonjun realized how cold was that of the soul's body. No trace of warmth in them.
The left side of the younger's chest felt void as no heartbeat was felt there, just pure silence. There was no comforting lullaby of the male's heartbeat nor it's rhythm's was heard.
"I-It feels good.... to hug you again.. I missed you a lot soobin." Soobin heard the whispering type voice of the older. He went completely silent as he glanced down at the male hugging him like he was the most precious thing in his life. Closing his eyes getting the full heavenly feeling.
The soul's mouth parted glancing at the elder male, as his cold and pale hands unconsciously started caressing the male's dark locks.
Soobin didn't really realize that his opal glittered up a lot more just because of this. Talk about the power of affection and emotions.
Moreover, the soul didn't realize his nomeon took up his visible figure form and stood behind the two with a pitiful expression. Because the sight of a human wilfully hugging a soul despite knowing it, is not something that he can witness everyday.
Casper then sighed because it's been a while since the soul was granted the permission to be touched by a human. And it has a time limit obviously. So that's why, Casper warned the soul-
"Soobin, tell the mortal to move away now. Because he might fall within the next few seconds."
Soobin didn't argue back and just carefully pushed the older male away who looked at the soul with his glossy, wet eyes blinking at him innocently feeling a bit disappointed that he was pushed away.
Well that's because, the next minute when Yeonjun again tried to hold his hands, he failed.
"W-What- How-" Yeonjun mumbled feeling awfully confused and hurt. But didn't express the rest.
"My Nomeon is responsible for this. I can't do anything. Sorry."
Sorry.
Soobin himself didn't realize he might have gained the apologetic emotions just because he said it so easily.
Which was one of the greater virtues and emotions for a human.
And what's the consequences of earning this greater emotion?
His Opal flickered violently before permanently lightening up more brightly than earlier.
Yeonjun and Soobin both witnessed the massive change of the gemstone. Before Soobin heard a chuckle from his nomeon.
"Congratulations. You just earned your very first valuable emotion. Way to go Soobin." Soobin felt a very foreign feeling rushing to him hearing this because nor he was expecting to suddenly earn a valuable emotion like this nor expecting to feel something he didn't know yet. All of this was confusing to him. Everything felt like it all got jumbled up.
"Ah... I see." Yeonjun heard the soul mumbling this three syllables and stared at him confusingly. Obviously Yeonjun couldn't hear the soul's nomeon.
"Did you say something?"
Soobin looked up and his cold void eyes met that of the emotion filled deep hazel eyes of the older. He shook his head before saying-
"Casper just said, I earned a valuable emotion right now." The male looked quite taken aback hearing this as he waited for the next thing.
"He said it's Apologetic feelings."
Yeonjun's mind fogged out for some reason. Apologetic. So soobin just felt this specific emotion working inside him at this moment? He has a love-hate relationship with this apologetic emotion himself. Then what should he comment on this?
The thing is that he feels the most apologetic and pitiful for the soul infront of him. Everything at this point seems so heart wrenching for the older male that he looses his desire to live his life.
"Hyung, your nose is bleeding again?"
Yeonjun snapped out of those thoughts that kept consuming his rational sense way too much that he didn't realize that cold crimson colored liquid came out of his nose.
With a light gasp, he immediately grabbed some wet tissues kept nearby and wiped it off. Sighing, he threw away the used bloody tissue thinking that his sinus problem had grown so much that his nose frequently bleeds.
"Soobin- can you- uh remember any kind of memory from your-
Yeonjun had to take a deep breath and swallow down the forming lump inside his throat before completing his question-
" -Human life."
Soobin contemplated for a while before saying-
"I once got a light flashback of a part of my life. And I saw you there."
Yeonjun had to take a moment to process what the soul just said so damn nonchalantly like it was such a simple thing to say.
"W-What?"
"Yeah. I remember like you were with me and you were using your mouth, hands and various gesture to talk to me? Yeah that was it."
Yeonjun's heart thumped hearing this because indeed he could sense the familiarity with the scenario the soul just narrated to him. Indeed Yeonjun used to research on using sign language properly so that he could communicate with the younger male in crucial times. He was just so important to him that the older was ready to do anything for him. He couldn't bear to not talk with the younger just because of the lack of knowledge in this sector.
"Y-You are right. It indeed h-happened." With a heavy sigh and stone weighted feeling increasing inside his chest, the older mumbled.
"So indeed. I used to know you. Can you tell me what were we?"
There you go. That one question brought a temporary halt to the older's stable breathing. He forgot what oxygen really is.
Because he really didn't know what he should say. There was so much internal conflict going on inside him that it was difficult to even speak without stuttering.
There were a lot of... unspoken feelings.
Which never really got the chance to be spoken out at least from the older male's side. And he had no idea what the younger male thought of him. Now it was impossible to know what he actually thought.
So after some painful contemplation, the older decided to go with that few words that he absolutely hated to say but did anyways.
"W–We were close f–friends. Very close friends."
Fuck since when pronouncing friend had gotten this hard.
"Oh." That was the only reply he got to heard from the soul because after so, he pulled up his duvet and covered himself as he lost all the energy to deal with this continuous internal-conflict. Wanting to detach himself from this energy draining thoughts, the older finally wandered off to the dreamland with much difficulty while the soul just kept staring at the sleeping male.
There was something he really couldn't connect. So many dots were missing. He just couldn't pinpoint what it was.
The next day went by quicker than usual despite being an off day. It was almost afternoon that the sun was getting ready to dive back under it's curtains creating a bursting bright color palette around the sky. That's when he got a text from Taehyun.
Taehyun
– Hyung, let's have a drink at the club today. Please. Beomgyu hyung is also coming, you also come. Don't deny. At 7 in the evening.
Yeonjun read the text becoming more puzzled because Taehyun hated getting associated with alcohols and drinks stuff like this. Now he is suggesting to go drink himself?
Is everything okay?
Still pushing aside his unnecessary thoughts, the text he sent was quite simple compared to that his puzzled mind.
– Fine. I will come. See you later.
Now what's going to happen? Some stupid and awful gut feeling keeps on twisting inside the older's stomach that he doesn't like a single bit.
He could only expect something positive.
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