Spike's POV
I'm using y/n lol cus i can't think of any character names :0
From the moment she walks through the door, I know something is wrong.
Don't ask me how I know, I suppose it's a vampire thing.
Or a me thing. I can sense things when it comes to her.
I watch her from the bar as she approaches Tara, Willow, Anya and Xander, dragging her feet a little with her shoulders slightly slumped. She straightens up when they spot her, and she offers a half-smile in their direction. I take a sip of my whiskey that a girl across the bar brought me.
She comes over now, blonde hair swishing behind her.
"Hey."
"Hey."
She frowns when I take a beat to look at her.
"You're really..." she begins, but she reeks of alcohol and pot and I hope she'll get home safe because she wouldn't be coming back to mine in any circumstance.
"Sorry, love. You're wasted, I'm a vampire, this would never work." I get up and without a glance backwards, I climb up the stairs, two at a time, until I can see The Bronze in its entirety. From the balcony, I watch Y/N make an excuse and sit to the side while her friends take to the dance floor. I'm not surprised they haven't noticed she's not okay, but I'm still disappointed for her sake.
It seems like more and more often she comes to me with her problems. I'll never complain (why would I?) but it's a shame to say the least - having friends but not being able to talk to them when it matters... I remember a life like that. More like two lifetimes but now I'm alone. I don't know which is worse.
After a while, she comes up the stairs and slides into one of the black booths with the squishy leather seats. There aren't many people up here but she doesn't catch me watching her because she's in a world of her own.
"A penny for your thoughts, pet?"
My chest tightens when I see I've startled her - she jumps and her mouth opens, then closes. She sighs, gesturing vaguely for me to sit down opposite her, which makes a smile tug on my lips before I remember why I'm here.
She doesn't speak for a long while and I consider leaving her with her thoughts, before she sighs and meets my eyes.
"How come, when I'm miserable, you always seem to turn up?"
I can only clench my jaw at her words. I don't tell her that I'm the only one of her friends that notices when she's low, or that I'm the only one of them that bothers to check on her once in a while. Instead, I shrug and respond, "I don't know, pet."
My thoughts race with what could be wrong. Last time it was Cordelia not calling on her birthday. The time before that, it was insufferable period cramps and before that, it was persistent nightmares. I pray the problem isn't as upsetting as the way those nightmares affected her, but I can't know until she opens up.
"What's the matter?" I ask.
Her nose twitches and her chin trembles. I find myself wanting to stop the inevitable, a sad pull in my chest telling me to do anything to stop her crying, but I can't. Fat tears rolls down her cheeks as she whispers, "It's Tommy. Tommy's dead."
Despite knowing this girl more than anyone on the planet (that's living, at least), the name Tommy only rings a vague bell. Is he a distant uncle, an old friend...?
"He - he," she hiccups, "He was found on the side of the road, all battered and bleeding. His nose wasn't even that cute little pink anymore. Dad had to put him out of his misery. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen."
Is her father a murderer? I know I can't ask who the hell Tommy is and what was so special about his pink nose right now, but I really want to. Thankfully, in that moment, it comes back to me.
"Oh!" I shout in realisation, before coughing and adjusting my volume, "Oh, your cat, love. I'm so sorry."
The tears keep coming, and I feel awkward, watching her sniff and try to wipe away the teardrops that just keep falling in a steady stream. Tentatively, I rise and sit next to her in the booth, taking in a useless breath out of habit. The air is cold.
"He - he was my best friend!" she sobs, turning to sniffle into my jacket, resting her head on my chest. I still, surprised, before I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me.
Her voice is muffled as she continues, "I know, I shouldn't be so upset over a cat but I've had him since I was five. My mum got him for me and..." she hesitates, "Having him around felt like having a part of her around, you know?"
She rarely talks about her mother, and I've never been as insensitive as to bring her up. All I know is that she died not long after Y/N's ninth birthday. It was clear the woman was very loved.
"I feel silly."
I have to bite my lip from the pain I can feel radiating off of her.
"You're allowed to be upset, pet. When did he pass?"
"Last night."
"No offense, love, but why are you here and not at home with a tub of ice-cream?"
"I didn't want the others to know."
I pause. "Why?"
Now, she pauses, thinking, "I don't know." she whispers.
Sobs take back control of her body and I hold her closer, breathing in the smell of salt and heartache (not one I'm unfamiliar with).
"It's okay. You're okay." I say softly, because I don't know what else to do. I could offer to win her a kitten at poker, but I know now's not the time.
After five or so minutes, she stills, breathing deeply with her head still hidden in my jacket. My throat feels painfully dry.
"Thanks for being here." she says so quietly, I wouldn't have heard it without my enhanced hearing. Slowly, carefully, she leans back and dabs lightly at my jacket with her sleeve. "Sorry for crying on you."
"You've got nothing to apologise for, pet." I say equally as quietly, making her crack a sad smile.
"I just really loved him."
"I know."
"Get away from her!"
I look up and it's a painful struggle to not roll my eyes. Her supposed friends are staring down at me, rapidly approaching. I put my hands up in a surrender before Xander has the chance to lay one of his grubby little fingers on me.
"Bloody hell." I mutter as I get up from next to her. I know by now that, to avoid a brawl that I won't win with this chip, I should just back away.
She stands, wiping at her damp face with quick, embarrassed movements.
"What did he do to you?" Willow asks with a sneer in her voice, a rueful glare pointed at me.
I huff and shove my hands into my pockets. Benefit of the doubt never applies to me.
"He didn't do anything!" she says loudly, turning a few heads. There's venom in her voice - emotion that I would not expect her to direct at the scoobies.
"Woah, big with the shouty," Xander says, trying poorly to diffuse the tension, "What's up then?"
"You..." she says shakily, glancing back at me with resolution on her face, "It's you guys! You - you never bother to ask how I am and lately, I've been nothing but crap!"
I can't help smirking at her confidence - it's something that I'm only privy to once in a while and when it happens, I think about it for the next 3 to 5 business days.
"You - you invite me places for the sake of it, but when I come, you're never really there. Ever since you two got girlfriends, you've been too busy to care." she glances apologetically at Anya and Tara to add, "No offense."
"None taken." Anya replies, while Tara only bites her bottom lip nervously. Although she's clearly not enjoying the conflict, I sure am, seeing Y/N stand up for herself for once.
"And... Spike. Someone you all seem to hate with a passion is the only person who gives a shit about me."
And with that, she's running down the steps and off into the night. Her friends stare at each other - well, Tara stares at the floor - until Willow finally pipes up tiredly, "I'd better go after her."
"Are you people insane?"
All their gazes turn to me. I shake my head because not one of them looks as guilty as they should.
"Talking to her isn't gonna do a thing. Her anger has been building for a long while, if you couldn't tell."
"Why didn't you say anything to us, then?" Xander asks, jaw clenched.
An outraged laugh passes my lips, "It's not my responsibility to make you good friends. God, could you be more dense?"
"That - that's not fair. If she had a problem, we're always here to listen -"
"Please," I cut Willow off, "If she's finding solace in a 127 year old vampire and not you two boneheads, then it's safe to say you're doing something wrong."
Willow makes a sound of protest, but doesn't have the nerve to form a sentence. When nobody replies, or challenges me, I leave. Good riddance.
I find Y/N sitting on a bench in the cemetery where my crypt is. She's ripping up a leaf into tiny pieces.
"You shouldn't be out here alone at night, pet. Some Big Bad might be lurking in the shadows."
She lets out a hollow chuckle. "Yeah. A Big Bad like you."
"Hey! I'm bad! I just don't like to be all obvious about it." My attempt to get a grin is unsuccessful, but I do get a small smile which I'll take as a triumph. Silence stretches between us and I choose to sit down beside her.
"I totally flipped." she says, dropping the leaf to run a hand down her face.
"I wouldn't say totally..." I tease and she nudges me playfully. "They'll say sorry if they know what's right for them."
"Was I too harsh?" she asks quickly, looking up at me and God, her eyes are pretty.
I blink a few times before I can reply. "Personally, I don't think you were harsh enough. But, trust me, love, things will right themselves. Let me walk you home, yeah? It's getting late."
She nods and stands, a gratitude in her gaze that I don't deserve. I swallow - hard - and lead her towards the gates.
"Spike?"
Her voice is unsure, quiet and makes me stop. "Yeah?"
She hesitates.
"I - My dad's out of town and I'm not sleepy and I was - do you think I could stay with you tonight? I'm too worried to sleep. We could watch something? Only - only if you wanna."
This poor girl.
"Of course, pet. You are welcome any time."
I want to wrap my arm around her and feel the closeness I felt in The Bronze. Instead, I offer her my arm which she takes with a shy glance upwards and I almost melt.
"We could have a movie marathon?" she suggests as we cross the threshold and she swaps her jacket for a blanket.
...
She falls asleep halfway through the first film.
heyy all!! i acc love writing Spike POVs although i won't try and claim they're very accurate. i try lolz. slay all day + remember to vote/comment/follow if ur enjoying <3