They are in class
Karasuma: look alive people meet our new addition to the e class faculty
?: my name is miss Irina Jelavic nice to meet you all
Sugino: talk about a knock out
Okajima: knockers more like
Meg: does anyone else thinks it's weird she's all over korosensei
Rio: little bit yet
Kazuto: uh huh not entirely sure what's going on here
Karasuma: we decided to bring on mrs jelavich in the interest of beefing up the English curriculum no hard feelings I hope she's uh very qualified
Korosensei: no harm in that is there
Kayano: she totally has a thing for korosensei she seems nice so I guess it's kind of cute right
Nagisa: mhmm ,igniting be something we can use to figure out how to kill,no, too he seems thrown off by the attentions she's giving him is it because of the attention or because she's a woman his face changes colour to reflect his mood so what's the colour of hot and bothered
Kazuto deadpan: bright pink apparently
Maehera: he is all about her
Kayano: yeah no mistaking that face
Nagisa: note he blushes like a human
Irina continues to flatter korosensei
Kazuto: hey Rio she's trouble isn't she
Rio: oh yeah who on their right mind would be in to korosensei
Kazuto: oh yeah totally
Later
Korosensei: heads up
He throws football
Kazuto: PASS! AND KILL
He kicks the ball and throws a knife
Korosensei: sorry worked one not gonna work again
Karma and okano try but also fail
Irina: YooHoo hope I'm not interrupting anything darling mr Karasuma said you can go Mach 20 and I just had too see it for myself
Korosensei: well he might be exaggerating a tad
Irina: I hate to ask you but I'd be ever so grateful if you could fetch some Vietnamese coffee I thought maybe you could grab it while I run the students Thierry English lesson
Korosensei: but of course mon Cher it just so happens, I know a fabulous café in Vietnam
The bell chimes
Itona: it's about that time mrs Irina I mean that's the bell shouldn't we head back
Irina: sure knock yourself out teacher needs peace and quiet though so make it a study hall
And another thing let's agree not to call me miss when the octopus isn't around and we're definitely not on a first name basis so drop it when he is around call me ms jelavic
Karma: heh so what's your name ms jela-bitch
Kazuto: yeah you're clearly up too something ms jela-bitch
Bitch: NO NICKNAMES
Karma: we got ourselves a real pro here just a little bit of advice from those who have been playing the odds you're not gong to kill the octopus without help
Kazuto: and that's coming from karma so what ya gonna teach us ms bitch
Bitch: the stop it with the bitch please and a way you're all a bunch of saplings adults have their own way of doing things take note
Speaking of which your Nagisa shiota right
She leans into him
But
Kazuto: alright there will be none of that no sexual harassment while I'm around you where going to kiss him until he feel to the ground and that's when you would usually shoot your target isn't that right
Bitch: oh interesting
Kazuto: yeah I heard all about you
Bitch: fine any of you punks who have intel worth sharing give me ms jelavich so,eating yourself and I'll let you go home while these men stand in for you
This is what separates the pros from the amateurs boys and girls connections and a little thing we like to call technique now piss of go play oh and a word of warning from those of us who know our job get in the way and you die
Kazuto: (you know being taught by a pro assassin would be cool if she wasn't such a bitch)
Later in class
She's just sitting on her phone she gives Nagisa a look and he shivers
Kazuto: (crap she did it while she wasn't around didn't she)
Maehera: uhh ms ms jelabitch man are you going to teach us or what
Nakamura: yeah come on ms,jelabitch
Kazuto: yeah we can't sit here doing nothing forever ms jelabitch
Suguya: no disrespect but you are a teacher aren't you miss jelabitch
Bitch: AHHH IX NAY ON THE BITCHING THE NAME IS JelaVIC, JELABITCH IS WHAT I'LL BE IF YOU DON'T GET THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR THICK PUBESCENT SKULLS
Let's review my is jelavic Jela-Vic bite your lower lip and hum
They do it
Bitch: V excellent now practise that for the next hour while I ignore you
All: lamest lesson ever!
Later the class is busy training
Kazuto being exempt from this is just training his kendo skills once again and they all see Korosensei and her go into a shed together
Kazuto: Hey Sir
Karasuma: yeah
Kazuto: be honest why did you bring her here personally I can't stand her
Karasuma: yeah I know I have a hard time myself but the higher up seem to think she's all that I'm sorry you all have to deal with her and well seeing what she's been able to out together over a short time does tend to make me agree with them
After a little while ms bitch starts to shriek
Okano: What was that
Okajima: I heard gun fire, a scream and now slithering noise
Bitch starts moaning and saying no
Okajima: I really want to know what he's going to her in there
Maehera: let's go
Kazuto: Nah..rather not
Kazuto sees them both emerge
Bitch is in a weird new clothing set and korosensei's face goes white and blank
Kazuto: ok that's new
Korosensei: ok back to class children
Students: yes sir
Later
They are in class Irina is very angry now
Karma: wow looks like ms jelabitch is pissed off I know my pride would be in shambles if my plan went tits up
Itona: excuse me miss
Bitch; what?!
Itona: if you're not going to teach us anything mind if we swap you out for korosensei it's just we've got entrance exams coming up
Birch: Ha! Do you want to swap me out for that Disgusting creature you're worried entrance exams about when the planet is on notice must Paradise, not knowing your ass from a hole in the ground give it a rest, even if the Earth wasn't on the brink of destruction Entrance exams are for students with a future
Newsflash that's not any of you losers how about this kid forget thr studying, help me brainstorm on how to kill the octopus and I'll give you a nice percentage of the reward money that's the best deal any of you e class jerkoffs are going to get out of life
Otherwise knock it off with the whining and
A rubber/eraser is thrown past her face
Maehera: get out!
Bitch: Ah
Kazuto: you heard him PISS OFF BITCH!
All the students get very angry
NOW YOU'RE JUST A PLAIN OLD BITCH
WE WANT KOROSENSEI BACK
Bitch: THATS IT I'LL MAKE YOU RUE THE DAY YOU WHERE BORN
YEAH GO AHEAD WE DARE YOU BITCH
YOUR BOOBS ARE WAY TO BIG TO BE A TEACHER
Kazuto notices his dad is annoyed
Kazuto: (AHH ITS HER FAULT ANYWAY)
Later the class is playing assassination badminton
Kazuto and Nagisa are sparing with knives
Later
It's English class once again
Ms bitch walks in and writes something on the board
Bitch: what word does incredible modify you know this one
Red it aloud
All::you.you are incredible in bed
Bitch: I want to an American VIP literally I have my feminine in grade to thank for getting close to target the port Dudley for me hook line and sinker you are incredible in bed he told me
Incredible in this case modifies the word you
Kazuto: (what,.,the,,.fuck)
Bitch: to learn grammar, you could see how it works in the real World like a full immersion course in a foreign language take a lover that speaks it and you can't miss I know, grammar seems boring and technical but it's what underpins how we communicate Communication is key in my line of work and in life whether speaking English French, Portuguese, what have you all people have an underlying need to express their feelings that's why this is important, example may be risqué but they come from we are nice scenarios they will all have either been said by me or to me by someone else One day, you can use or hear them yourself
Rio leans on him: communication huh
Kazuto looks away trying not to blush
Bitch: I'm not going to be like the octopus he can help you with your entrance exams which isn't without value I suppose I can do is help you learn the art of conversation
Here's the deal, if after a while, you think this is stupid that I'm not a teacher fine i'll give up my assignment and leave so this oughta put us on the level right oh and I'm sorry abith being such a bitch
The entire class is stunned but then starts laughing
Karma: wow talk about a 180 first you want to kill us now your acting like a wuss
Maehera: I go to say you make a more convincing teacher with this attitude
Okano:guess this means we shouldn't call you miss jelabitch anymore
Bitch: ah you're giving me a chance you're not upset with me
Meg: too be totally fair we didn't exactly get off on the right foot with that nickname
Kazuto: it's true but we need to call her something how about miss Hellabitch
Bitch: or we could just agree to move away from the whole bitch motif all together I'm not opposed to going to be Irina if you don't mind calling your teacher by her first-
Kazuto: nope sorry I wouldn't plan on the bitch thing going away anytime soon
Bitch: mhmm
Maehera: yeah agreed
Okano: not that ms irina isn't a pretty name it's just not as fun to say as hellabitch
Hinano: professor bitch sounds classy how about we go with that
Okajima: I vote for that one professor bitch all the way
Kazuto: well it seems to be unanimous you are now professor bitch
Bitch: AHHH I HATE YOU LITTLE TURDS SO MUCH
The class laugh their asses off
Professor bitch gets angrier and angrier only for her to be teased about it
And that's a wrap this episode is so much fun to write I'll see you all later for the next one