We fall into a comfortable silence whilst I finish eating, and it isn't until I'm done that Lorenzo braces his hands together and leans forwards speaking quietly so no one can hear him. "Freddie said you'd had another nightmare" there's concern in his voice and I know they're all wanting an explanation.
I can't help but scowl at Freddie "of course he did" I bite back the desire to make a comment about how they find it easy to divulge information between them yet they've struggled to do that with me so much. But now isn't the time for that I have to remind myself they've agreed for there to be honesty from now.
"Are you going to tell us what it was about?" He then asks and I feel my stomach drop. I'm about ready to bring everything I've eaten straight back up again just thinking about it.
"You already know what my nightmares are about" I mutter quietly.
I don't look up when I hear them all sigh in unison. "They way you were screaming for help that was different Liss you haven't reacted like that in a while" Freddie says almost shivering as he seems to remember my screaming.
"Please can't be talk about this later I don't want to talk about it here" i reply looking around. I don't want these strangers hearing about it. But I would tell them in private. I owed them that. I couldn't demand them to be completely honest with me when I'd still held so much back from them.
They seem to accept my response and don't push me any further which I'm grateful for. After a while we head back to the house. Even though it's nearly 6 in the morning and already light out they explain that Peter is there waiting because there's a lot that needs to be discussed. I can't help but think it's absolutely crazy that Peter is still working at this time but I guess he never really stop none of them do.
As soon as I step over the threshold I spot Peter, Garrett, Todd and Luca with beaming smiles on their faces which completely catches me off guard. "There's the gun wielding fire cracker" Peter announces and they all start laughing. There's no doubt I completely flush bright red. "I have to say Alissandra I don't think I've ever heard anyone tell Lorenzo to shut up before it was definitely the highlight of my year" he then adds with a Cheshire grin plastered across his face.
"Peter If you want to keep your job and your teeth you'll be wise to wipe that grin off your fucking face" Lorenzo grunts from behind me as he comes in and all sense of humour is gone as all 4 men straighten up even Luca.
I completely forgot about telling him to shut up and I can tell by the way Lorenzo is clenching his jaw he's restrained himself from making me pay for it as well. My mind starts to wander thinking about what exactly he would do, then I remember how badly I freaked out on our trip and I know there's no chance he's going to consider doing anything which makes me a little disappointed at the realisation.
I slump myself down between him and Freddie sensing that they're waiting to get this little meeting of sorts underway and I'm anxious wondering that exactly is going to be discussed. Lorenzo pulls me close to him and stroked his thumb up and down my arm in a reassuring way as if he can read my mind and knows exactly what I'm thinking.
"So as we all know Jason's girls will now be working the streets" Freddie starts and all eyes fluttered to me, I just slouched down further next to Lorenzo hoping they'll all stop looking at me like that.
"I'll ensure the update is filtered down throughout the guys saves anything kicking off" Peter says casually relaxing back in his chair. They all seem so relaxed like this is a completely normal conversation to be having at this time and I guess for them it is.
"We'll have to deal with him after" Alec grunts from across the room.
Deal with him after? My head snaps round to him and I can practically see the cogs turning in his mind like he's already planning something. "What do you mean?" I ask.
"Once Antonio is dealt with we'll make the necessary moves to get Jason's girls off our streets" he says and I can see his fists clench again. "We don't agree with it Liss that's why we've made him keep them away"
"On that note of Jason are you going to trust he's willingly going to lead you to Antonio?" Peter says, his body stiffens and I can tell this conversation is going to turn a lot more serious.
"Definitely fucking not" Lorenzo scoffs. "But we'll figure out a plan of our own once we've got word from him. In the meantime I guess it's time we start really filling Alissandra in on everything"
"Everything?" Peter quickly asks raising a brow. Lorenzo just nods and they then started going over everything, every little detail of they're dealings. I had no idea about the magnitude that this went to, it was clear that even at the warehouse with Lorenzo I'd only really learnt a slither of it. The whole time they went back and forth discussing everything I kept silent taking it all in. I felt like I was at a tennis match with my eyes darting back and forth as they all added key pieces of information.
"I think that's enough for one day" Lorenzo chuckles and that's when I realised I've been sat here with my mouth gaping open whilst I've tried to take it all in.
Peter, Garrett, Luca and Todd go to get up but I quickly interject to stop them. "Wait I have a couple of questions" There's still things I want clarifying especially after what Jason said. "How will I fit into all of this? Well I don't mean me but once Antonio is gone how will everything fit into this? The Family all of it?"
A shared look between them all tells me they already have a plan. There's no doubt in my mind that this has already been discussed.
"It depends on what you choose to do with it" Freddie says and now I wasn't expecting that on bit. I guess I was fully expecting them to tell me exactly what was going to happen not that I was going to have a choice in all of this.
"What I choose?" I ask dumbfounded unable to stop the confusion from flashing across my face.
He is clearly trying to hide his amusement as he avoids eye contact with me but he seems to compose himself before he answers me. "Yes Alissandra" he chuckled a little "Like we said it's all yours, our intention was always to tell you and let you decide"
"But I said I don't want it" I blurt out quickly and that's the truth I don't want it. All I want is as normal of a life as I can get.
"But it's still up to you what happens with it Liss" Freddie says softly. I can't understand why Mattio would ever think that it was a good idea for me to take over. I was kept separate from it all. I have no idea what to do or how to do it.
"Obviously most of it is run from within Italy, you can leave it and I'm sure someone within the ranks will step forward and take the lead" Freddie explains and I'm surprised it's him doing the talking not Lorenzo. He's just sat next to me still stroking my arm. "Or you can put someone in Antonio's place" he adds and doesn't wait for me to say anything before he continues. "Then there's the west coast which is also Bianci territory. That's already being run by someone and you'll be challenged to put someone else in their place but it's doable the right person would have to have connections in the area that can follow his suit whilst he takes direction from you"
"My direction? but I don't want to direct anyone I wouldn't even know how" I reply honestly.
Lorenzo chuckles a little bit and then sighs "I'd be lying if I said we hadn't already thought about the options but we haven't been scheming against you Alissandra"
"So what are the options?" I ask
He hesitates for a moment before he finally decides to answer. "Like Freddie said you can let someone take over from within the ranks or we would place someone there to take control. Someone we know and trust" he looks over to Peter who simply nods. Which I assume means they fully intend to send Peter to Italy and from the obvious smile on his face he seems to be pretty stoked about the whole idea. "It wouldn't be straightforward but it's doable especially as everyone would have to respect the decision you make"
"As for the west coast we have an associate from there, his names Dante, he'd happily take back the territory but the supply chain would continue to come from Bianci supplies or well us" another nod to Peter.
They really have thought this through in detail.
All waiting for my response. "And like I said what would be my role in all of this? If it's all handed over to you what happens to me?" As much as we've discussed how they don'tIt's want me going anywhere I still have to ask I need there to be fully clarity before I make any kind of decisions.
"That again is your choice you'd be as involved as you'd want to be although we'd prefer if you weren't. You'd be too much of a target" Alec says through gritted teeth and I can tell even the thought of me being involved puts him majorly on edge.
"It would be a big increase in what we already manage and take up a lot more of our time especially with Peter gone because of that we'd need someone to run the club" Lorenzo says as he turns his head and smiles at me.
"Wait, what? I would run the club?" I blurt the words out so quickly they sound like a jumbled mess.
"Amongst a few other things as well yeah" he chuckles seeming to find amusement in my confusion.
"With my help" Luca says sitting up a little straighter. So he's in on this as well. It finally dawns on me they haven't been planning all this behind my back they've been doing it with me completely in mind. All them meetings they'd dragged me along to, the renovation of the club it was all building up to this.
I put my head in my hands as I try to comprehend everything I've heard and seen in the last 24hours. There is no doubt in my head that I am in no way made for this life. Maybe they're right to keep me out of it, keep me behind the scenes.
"I think my head might actually explode" I groan as the exhaustion of the last 24hours hits me all at once.
There's a couple of hushed words that I don't quite hear and then Lorenzo stands up. "Everyone get some rest we've got a lot to do later today" he says as he takes my hand and pulls me up tugging me along upstairs with him. I don't even bother saying anything I'm more than eager to crawl into bed and completely pass out.
I know we probably won't sleep for long especially with the time it is already but I'll take anything at this point. Once we're in his room I sigh with relief but as he closes the door behind us he pulls my back against him. "Hold up you're wearing way to many clothes for my liking" he says from behind me and I shiver slightly as his breath skims across my ear.
As soon as his hand slips under my hoodie and strokes excruciatingly slowly up my stomach I know he has absolutely no intention of sleeping.