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Nandani POV
"It is,"
I said and I saw him hovering over me. His body slipping inside me and intertwining both my hands in his, over my head. My back arched in submission and tiredness. I had lost all of my control and strength in me.
But, there was no stopping.
I had lost the track of my screams, counts of my releases and certainly everything. My body trembled like anything under him, like the crushed cotton cloth, as if nothing for him. His hips grinding into me, senselessly, painfully and punishable. Sometimes slow and sometimes faster that whole of my body would bounce against him and leave me all senseless and breathless.
At a few moments, when he would go very deep in me, every inch of him in me, tightly, suffocating me, tearing me, adjusting me for him for lifetime, tears rolled down my eyes.
But, there was no stopping.
That night, I truly realised of his strength. He was one man army, so definitely it did not feel like taken by a single man, it felt like strength of hundreds.
I was nothing in front of him.
My hair had messed up badly, my cheeks and chest flushed with the redness. My whole body had went on fire, the whole world had collapsed before me, everything had shut excepts the sensations and the burn of the thrusts leaving me panting and even more tired every few moments.
His groans mixing with my screaming moans had filled the chamber and increased the heat in the air. The bed sheet, the roses and flowers had crushed beneath our weights. I was crushed beneath his weight.
But, there was no stopping.
Until, the night ends, the last ounce of energy releases through him and travels inside my body. Unless, he went tired, he went satisfied, he went contented, he went complete.
That night, I saw a shameless side of Rudra. No regret in his eyes, no concern and no stopping at all. It did not felt like Rudra but Rana Rudra Dev Singh. Like a King, like a warrior, like a man larger than life. I could feel every bit of control he practised for the last ten years breaking in front of him. I saw him shaking, I saw him turning red in his face, I saw his eyes rolling back with the need for releases, I saw his messed up hair, I saw his puffing up chest struggling for air. I saw his fingers trembling out of senses and I saw him losing his control.
And, it felt punishably pleasuring. It would be sugar coating if I would say it was not painful. It was painful at many times, it was aching, it was struggling, it was rough at many points but it was the out of the world experience.
Being able to satisfy a man with a hunger like this was a out of the world experience. And, it was even more pleasuring and satisfying when that man was your husband, was your lover, was your everything. It was certainly a night beyond my expectations and my courage. I truly felt him getting out of control, giving me everything he had.
When he would get tired of being over my chest, he would just sit on knees, grab my ankles and flip me like a leaf on my stomach and enter from behind. My hand would fist tightly on the bed sheet, my face would dug deep into the crushed the flowers and my eyes shut like anything. I would feel him moving in and out. His hands would press straight against the mattress like in a push-up position and his hips would grind in me torturously.
As the night grew darker and the act gets even more intense and wild, his releases had became difficult and hard making me even more out of senses and submissive.
I had lost counts of how many positions he tried. In one moment, I would be under him, next I would be over him, other I would be on my fours bouncing against his intense thrusting with screams, sometimes, in his lap with his fingers in my hair, messing up my loose braid, other time I would be struggling for my own release, bouncing my hips against him while my legs tightly wrapped around his trim waist, my hands around his shoulders, our lips breathing into each others mouth and he would be standing on his knees, like a beast, not a beast like an animalistic and dangerous beast but a good beast, heavy beast, strong and dangerous beast. Needy beast.
Whole night, not even for once his hand touched my neck, he let me tremble under him senselessly, he let me go insane, he let me go out of control and shaky under him. He let me being a mess. He let me being a moaning mess.
When his hips would grind into me, my hands would fist tightly into the bed sheet, my bosom would bounce in the sync, my back would rub against the flowers and bed sheet.
The air got filled with the smell of roses, lavenders, flowers along with the our sweat and releases.
We did not sleep, he did not let me sleep until the first brightness of the sky had fallen into the chamber in the morning and he had a very intense, strong and deep release. The third one. And, I did not know how many I had.
He had drained energy of my twenty two years of life. All the nutritions I ate in those twenty two years and collected the strength. He drained it in just one night. One long, good and intense night. I was sure I had lost a few kilograms too with the intense stretching, bouncing, releasing and moaning.
We both had gone dirty, very dirty. It was like every layer between us had torn, every shame and last ounce of secrets had been revealed.
He laid tired on the bed from his knees and I was already on the bed tired, exhausted and frozen.
I straightened my legs and it hurt like hell. My knees were shaking, not a good shaking but actually shaking, badly. I was lying almost lifeless.
I remember closing my eyes.
We both fell asleep in the morning, all naked and tired.
No one disturbed both of us for the next day and night. We slept for a complete day, I felt his arms wrapping around me for a while, my head on his chest for another. We both were tired. Actually tired that we did not even talk.
My whole body was aching, even to change the position I was requiring a lot of strength.
I was feeling hungry but there was no strength in me to even ask for it. I just wanted to sleep.
"Nandani,"
I heard his slow voice and I felt his arm gently wrapping around me. We both were under the covers and I lazily replied.
"Hn?"
I felt his warm chest touching against my back and him slowly pulling me closer against him with a inhale of breath.
"Get up, love, you have to eat,"
He said huskily and I inhaled a deep breath.
"I am tired. I just want to sleep,"
I said in lazy voice and I could feel myself in another dimension. My body was feeling so light and I could feel chilly.
I felt him gently pecking his lips on the back of my head and slowly shifting away from me. I fell asleep again in no time.
"Nandani,"
I heard his slow voice again and felt him sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. I lazily forced my lashes open and looked at him holding a plate of food in his hand. He gently moved a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and I spread my arms widely to stretch.
"I hate you,"
I muttered tiredly.
I felt his thumb feathering my chin and he asked in a slow voice.
"Why so? Love,"
I heard his slow voice and I pulled the comforter to cover my tired and washed face.
"You fucked me so bad, Rudra,"
I complaint from the inside of the comforter and I heard his light chuckle from outside.
I felt him gently pulling the comforter off my face and my eyes tiredly looked at him.
I saw him putting the plate on the table near to the bed.
He gently held my wrist in which half of the bangles were broke.
"Come here, love,"
He muttered slowly and helped me straighten up.
A painful cry escaped my lips as my spine straightened.
He smiled looking at me.
"I hate you,"
I cursed him and pressed my hands over my chest to keep the comforter in place over my chest.
My lips were dried and it was smelling with the drooling and bad breath.
I saw him and inhaled a deep breath.
He was wearing white and his hair was wet as if he had just taken the bath. It had turned dark. We both sleeping for the whole day.
I saw him leaning in closer and I pulled back.
"I am dirty, Rudra,"
He smiled and cupped my jaw gently and kissed my lips for a moment.
"Dirty or clean, beautiful or ugly, well or sick, you are my love, my little wife, little bird,"
He said and I lowered my gaze with the timidness.
Whatever happened last night was dancing over my brain and I was feeling shy in front of him. I did not know from how many angles he had seen me. I timidly face-palmed myself and let out a soft sigh. I was very loud last night. Very very loud. The attendees must have heard me.
I felt him shifting and sitting behind me. My back pressed against his chest and I felt calmness soothing my body. He held the plate in front of me wrapping his arms around me. I pulled my knees up and little and my gaze gently lowered to my fingers.
I saw him kissing my bare shoulders and making a bite for me. I forwarded it to have it and he silently fed me with his hands.
When I was done, he helped me drink the water.
"Thank you,"
I muttered in a slow voice and turned to look at him over my shoulder.
"Have you had dinner or not?"
I asked and he smiled a little.
He nodded lightly and placed the empty plate on the side table.
I pressed my back against his chest comfortably and felt his chin touching my head. His fingers gently feathered my arms and I closed my eyes.
It was beautiful.
I felt him gently kissing the side of my forehead.
"Are you hurt? Little bird,"
He asked and I inhaled a sharp breath.
I touched his wrist gently and nodded my head.
I felt his fingers gently removing the leftover bangles from my hands. He carefully placed them on the side table. I had also noticed that he had picked up the broken pieces of the bangles from the bed too.
I felt him gently touching my messy braid and gently undoing the tangles. I was feeling sleepy again and even more now. And, his fingers that were moving through my hair were making it even stronger.
It took me a complete week to get back to normal. The ache in my knees stayed for a few days, the pain in my bones also lasted for a few days but the thing that hurt me the most was my sore core. Even with the touch of cloth, I was feeling burns. It took me days to recover from that soreness. Everytime I would pee, I would feel the slight burning. Initially, it was too much that it made me cry with it.
But, slowly it passed.
He took complete care of me during that time. He knew it was rough for me. I could see the slight guilt on his face. But, there was no guilt in me.
Even, I was happy.
I was proud to know what my husband was capable of and no other women could ever be to able to give him what I have to him.
He did not touch me another fifteen days. But, the days started getting intense, passionate and happy for us.
We were together in this. For days we were Ranaji and Ranisa but for tonight we were just two love struck couples Rudra Nandani. Who burn for each other. Who are fuel and fire of each other.
The things started turning smooth and peace treaties were established in the Kingdom.
About, his Maasi-ma, I tried to talk to him and he finally decided to tell after four months.
"What happened to her?"
I asked and he irritatingly looked at me.
"You do not want to hear that, Nandani,"
He said while sitting on the couch.
"I do,"
I spat back in anger. It had been months.
He inhaled a frustrated deep breath and laid down on the couch, keeping his head in my lap. I felt his fingers holding mine over his chest and his legs still touching the floor as the couch was so small for him.
He closed his eyes for a moment.
"She killed herself,"
My brows thinned a line with shock.
"What??"
He opened his eyes and looked at me with pain.
"It was ugly,"
He said.
Now, my heart beats started to race.
"What do you mean?"
I asked.
He inhaled a deep breath and lowered to his gaze to somewhere else but me.
"The one who opened the doors of the ninth chamber for Surgami Dev Singh was her. And, she ran after that. It took a month for our soldiers to search for her but eventually she was found. They brought her to me. And when I tried to make her realise her mistake she started telling me the things she done for us. She was not ready to understand. She hated you. She said that you are the reason why I had changed. She even hated me. I was ready to forgive her because she was our second mother. But, she asked me to choose between you and her. It was so ugly for me, Nandani. I did not want that. I know I had been selfish to choose you. I chose my future and threw my past away. I felt bad about it. But, the life she gave to me ended the moment I went to commit suicide that night in that river. The one who came back from there was a different man who only knew Nandani. My past and my future can never co-exist. I was ready for it. I was ready to forgive her and start a new but she was not. She still hated your family, you and she also started hated me. I had no other option but to keep her under the eye. And, she killed herself three months ago,"
"And, you did not even tell me,"
I said angrily.
He sighed and straightened himself.
"Because, the fire was not yours to handle,"
And, I feel frustrated.
"But, I did not want her dead. Yes, it was mine to handle because I could have talked to her. She was important to you. She was also someone in my life too. Even a negetive character. But, still, someone,"
He looked at me.
"What did you want to talk to her? She clearly asked me to choose between you and her. She was not even sorry for deeds. She did not even feel at wrong for flooding our brains with hate. For ruining the life of three kids,"
He said with anger and frustration.
"The hate that was required to build the man you are today. The hate that was required to bring you to the place that you are today. God knows what would have happened if you did not have that hate, if she had not give you the reason to live,"
I tried to say with the same anger.
"I did not want that reason. Never would have want that fire of I knew my father was such a bastard. I rather had killed myself before becoming the person I am today. I did not want that life. And, by that life I do not mean the struggles but the title I have. I did not want that hate. If I had knew, I would have just wanted my name to disappear in the sand of time and no body have known who is the son of Surya Dev Singh. She did not let us decide,"
He spat with anger.
"But, still she deserved something better from you,"
"And, you are taking her side,"
He said angrily.
"No, I am taking a woman's side who decided to give you everything. You were the one who used to defend her. When did you forget that she brough you and your brother up. And, god knows with how many men she slept with just to feed your stomach,"
I said with anger.
His nostrils flared with anger and he looked at me.
"So, you are saying that what she did was right. She played with the life of three kids. She used for twenty fucking years. She made me a pawn of her in exchange of food. And, still I was ready to give her everything,"
"You should have told me,"
I spat back with equal intensity.
"No, I should not have, that was my matter to handle. She played with my life and I had to decide,"
"And, I am your fucking wife, Rudra. Not just wife but the Queen of this Kingdom. I had to know,"
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