[A/N: A lot of you complained about being robbed from an earlier chapter; I hope this one is some sort of relief]
~Kaisa~
The gear around my waist collides against the concrete floor with an unpleasant, ear-piercing clank. The rest of the scouts have gone home to their families, so the strong front I've put forward finally crumbles as I stand alone in the ODM room. My legs ache, my core feels as if it's been torn from my abdomen because of how much it burns. Levi is currently talking to the other leaders within the Walls regarding the outcome of the operation. He offered to do so when I let him know I'd be delivering Tobio to his father's place for them to move forward with funeral preparations.
It's been over three hours since we've set our feet back home and I have yet to take a breather by myself. Every hallway, every street, and every corner there is someone asking me about how the operation went, if we won, and if we got anything valuable from it. There's criticism everywhere; from parent's throwing rotten food at my feet, to the woman who spat in my direction as I walked past.
I just want to lie in bed and forget everything.
Wiping the sweat from my brow, my feet lightly drag against the ground on the way to my room. I hate to admit it, but the quiet right now is more comforting than distressing. Usually, the quiet nature of the halls emphasizes the ghosts of my comrades. Today, it's peaceful. I can finally breathe; I can finally find the time to let the day go.
The upper-left side of my collarbone aches with every single movement. This is the first time I've given myself a self-inflicted wound to commemorate someone in the Survey Corps. It's the least I could do to honour his sacrifice in battle.
Soon, I find myself between Levi's bedroom and my own. Given that it's been three hours, I can't help but wonder if he's finally returned from the meetings. I give his door our knock, and to my surprise, I hear his voice call for me from within the room.
I let myself in, gently closing the door behind me. On his desk lies a plethora of medical supplies, all of which are being organized in order of when each item should be used. The floorboards creak beneath my steps when I make my way over to him, leaning on the desk once I get to him. I take a soft breath to ask about the meetings, but he interrupts me as if he could read my thoughts.
"Tomorrow. Today, we heal."
I nod. I don't actually feel like talking about meetings, nor do I feel like discussing the semantics the other Corps divisions have most likely brought up.
"Hange?" I ask instead.
"Said she wanted some time. It's not easy for her because of Moblit."
Once again, I nod. The three of us have all lost someone this time.
"I'll help you." I softly state.
Levi doesn't push my help away this time. Instead, he begins to undress his top half, laying the clothes over his chair before sitting on the desk. Happy with how easy it was to get him to comply, I dip a cloth into the water bucket, ringing it out slightly. Looking back to his face, I wrap the cloth around my hand before gently dragging it across his features. The dirt and grime give way quickly, his pale skin clearly visible once more.
He watches me carefully as I clean his face, then neck, and finally his upper body. His skin is covered in scars, both old and new. Today specifically, it's covered in fresh wounds with a deep crimson dried across his body. After the general clean comes the antiseptic. Before doing anything, I walk over to his dresser to pull out a clean rag and give it to him before drenching the gauze with peroxide.
"Put this in your mouth, it'll help." I tell him, stepping between his legs that lazily hang off the desk.
Instead of responding with a smart mouth, Levi listens and places the thin fabric between his teeth. I see his jugular tense in anticipation for the antiseptic, and my heart aches for the pain I'm about to bring upon him.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, placing the antiseptic across the first wound on his upper chest.
Levi's voice strangles through the rag, and his head is thrown back immediately while his arms flex from the tight grip he has on the edge of his desk. His entire body tenses in hope to remedy the pain, but we both know it's futile. Levi's chest rises and collapses in quick successions, soft whines escaping him while I clean his cuts. Suddenly he turns his head to the side, spitting out the cloth before breathily groaning.
"God fucking damn, that fucking stings."
"I know...I'm sorry."
I grab a new piece of gauze before cleaning his other wounds, being as careful as I can be to avoid bringing him any more pain than needed. This next one is over the right side of his chest, across his pectoral. I do my best to keep my eyes focused on the cut instead of the defined lines of his muscles, especially when they flex in response to the alcohol.
Levi takes a sharp breath through his clenched teeth, staring down at me with brows drawn together, "Fuck..."
"Almost done..."
His hair falls in front of his face, hiding his eyes from my view. Instead, all that I can see is his tense jawline, courtesy of the soaked gauze in my hand. Although the sight in front of me stirs up something within me, I finish quickly before wrapping the wounds on his front with gauze. Shortly after, I move behind him, the muscles in his magnificent back flexing as he rolls his shoulders to relax.
"This won't hurt as much." I say in hopes of comforting him while gently tracing my fingertips across his shoulder blades.
Levi's back arches slightly underneath my touch, "Just do what you need to do."
Without thinking, I place a soft kiss on his nape. My cheeks warm when I realise what I've done, but I don't apologize for it as I usually would. Instead, I return to cleaning his back, which only makes his head fall back slightly again in discomfort. As I clean his left shoulder, I place another feathery kiss on his right. His body releases some of the tension, so I continue to do so as I finish taking care of him.
Soon enough, Levi is all wrapped up and clean. I softly pat his shoulder twice, as if to tell him it's okay to move. Once I walk around the desk to his front, a pair of arms snakes around my waist. As I stand between his legs while Levi still sits on the desk, he presses his lips to my left cheek before resting his forehead on mine.
"Thank you, love."
His affectionate words blossom in my chest, warming the cold nature of my hardened heart. He softly kisses me, and I can't help but let a smile spread slowly across my lips once we pull away. He leans down, nuzzling his head into the curve of my neck. A shiver runs down my back when I feel his lips brush against my neck.
"Time for me to take care of you now, sweetheart." He rasps, placing another kiss onto my neck before pulling away, sliding off the table.
I find myself stuck in place as he slides by to grab a new cloth to start wiping the dirt off with. When he returns, I've forgotten to move from where I'm standing.
Levi slides right next to me, lips next to my ear as he cheekily taps my bottom to get me moving, "Come on, we're losing daylight."
Without processing what just happened, I obey, giving a little jump to sit on his desk. He places a hand on my right thigh, slightly pushing it to the side to stand between my legs to make his job easier. His hand lingers for a moment before he gets to work, brushing the clean cloth against my face first.
Levi's touch is gentle but firm. He doesn't waste time but his left-hand rests on the side of my neck as he tilts my head to make it easier for him. His calloused fingertips hold the side of it, tilting my chin for an easier clean when necessary. Even though I've been up close with Levi before, my stomach flips upside down once his face draws closer. His lips are not far, and I can't help but stare at him, especially once his tongue gently presses against the inside of his cheek as he concentrates on my wounds.
My face scrunches in discomfort when the antiseptic passes over fresh skin.
"Sorry." He mumbles, gently raking his fingertips throughout the base of my hair to soothe the pain.
The sensation sends shivers up my neck and floats at the crown of my head. A mumble of acknowledgement lazily slips by my lips, eyes closed while I lean closer to his massaging fingers. His hands move across my upper body, not forgetting to make a cheeky comment about my chest, which earned a slight laugh and shove in response. Soon enough, we're both bandaged, bathed, and ready for bed.
I find myself in a shirt that isn't too big, but one that also isn't too skintight. Levi's clothes always fit right, and it was something that was comforting in a way; close enough to me that it worked as an embrace, but not too suffocating at the same time. The faucet is running in his bathroom, the quiet sound of brushing leaking through the door as Levi finishes up his dental care.
Sleeping alone after this expedition was not an option. I couldn't and wouldn't. Levi's bed always felt softer, warmer, and comfier than mine anyway—there was always something about this room that felt safer than my own. Wearing pants to sleep was also not an option. The extra fabric always irritated my skin, and always led to me overheating despite the fact that our blankets weren't the heaviest or warmest.
With bare legs hanging over the side of his bed, I can't help but trace the dark, faded scars. I know it's unbecoming of a woman to be so battered up. I know that my skin is the opposite of what the male gaze desires. It's rough, imperfect, and littered with permanent marks that may fade overtime. Even on the parts that were soft, my own fingertips ground me to reality with the callouses I've developed. It's painful that I waste time feeling this way about myself, but when my glance turns to the man with a perfect undercut, whose arms naturally flex when he leans against the counter while brushing his teeth, who could resist self-reflection?
Before he can come back into the room, I blow out a bunch of candles to darken the room a bit to avoid any conversation about my appearance. Levi wouldn't think that way about me, but sometimes, it feels like I've created a narrative for him already. I don't want to set him up for a trap that leaves me disappointed.
The faucet shuts off.
"Why is it so dark in here?"
I shuffle underneath the sheets, "We're about to sleep, so I thought it'd be best."
The shadow crosses his arms but doesn't push further about the lights as he makes his way over. He slides in next to me after blowing out the last candle, and in the meanwhile, I've turned my back to him, resting on my side.
"Don't turn away from me."
"I just like sleeping on my side."
Levi hums to entertain my response, putting an arm around my waist to pull me flush against his chest, "You can sleep in any position possible, love. I've seen it too many times."
"Well, I wanna sleep this way."
His hand travels down the side of my waist before rubbing the side of my thigh and my body tenses in response.
"Kaisa," Levi begins, "I will never complain about having your ass against me."
My jaw drops in response, and I sit up slightly and turn over my shoulder to stare at a proud Levi whose eyes are closed, a small smirk on his lips while he gives my hip a soft squeeze.
"I cannot believe you." I say with a scoff and amused tone.
He shrugged slightly, "I'll do anything to take the tension out from you."
This time, my brows raise, "Anything?"
"If this is your way of propositioning me to have my head between your legs, I'd say you don't even need one."
I let my body fall back into the mattress with another short laugh, "Who are you, and what have you done to my cold-hearted Levi?"
"I'd kill to be crushed between these thighs of yours." Levi shamelessly admits, his breath warm on my neck.
It sends a shiver down my spine, and my thighs rub together from his response. "Is it the pain medication? Did you take too much that you're high now?"
"Can't a man tell his woman how beautiful she is without being interrogated?"
I turn around in his hold to face him, only to see his eyes are still closed and the soft smirk painted across his lips. Levi opens one eye to see me before pulling me closer, hands trailing my side.
His voice softly reaches my ears, "I'm just glad that you're still here."
The sentiment warms my chest, but is quickly doused with self-doubt, "Still here, but a lot more battered up than when we left."
"Is that what that nonsense was about? The reason you blew out the candles?"
I sigh, "Levi..."
"I could see you through the mirror looking at your legs before you moved to do anything." He pulls away slightly to look at me with furrowed brows.
I pull further away from him, "I don't wanna talk about this right n-"
"I don't have to talk to prove a point." Levi's soft-spoken voice has an edge to it now.
His sudden change in tone has me frozen in surprise.
"In fact," he continues, his hold on my body tightening, "I'm more known for the things left unsaid."
He rolls slightly over me, my shoulders gently rolling back onto the mattress. His lips are against my neck, right underneath my jawline to avoid the bandages from earlier. He presses kisses against the skin as his hands rub up and down my side again. Instinctively, my head rolls away from him to expose more of my neck to his lips, a soft whine escaping me. Levi's fingertips gently trace the band of my underwear, his thumb squeezing the inside of my thigh with every pass.
I press the back of my free wrist to my lips as my body submits to the familiar feeling. It's been a while since Levi had touched me like this, and it always felt better than my own. Something about his hands that worked me better than I could. The moment his fingers reach the front of my underwear, gently pressing between my thighs, my body responds without inhibition.
Levi's voice taunts me slightly, "Don't be shy—tell me how it feels."
My voice stutters, "I t-thought today was about rest."
He pulls his lips right next to my left ear, "You'll let me give you the best rest of your life, won't you, baby?"
I grit my teeth as my chest pushes off the bed slightly at his voice. He chuckles lowly, pulling his hand away from below to underneath my shirt. That fucker knows exactly what he's doing to me right now, and he wants nothing more than to hear me admit it.
His hand gently squeezes my bare chest, "Let me hear you."
The moan escapes me without much coercion; it's a direct response to his call.
"Good. You're a lot more manageable like this, aren't you?"
I don't answer, but the way my hips move underneath him gives my thoughts away. Something about giving control away, about not having to worry about what comes next or what happens afterwards is appealing. His touch is gentle, yet firm. It feels good to lean into a more feminine side after commanding people around for weeks; it feels good to forget.
His hand leaves its place on my chest, taking the wrist near my lips before bringing it down between us. My eyes widen at his boldness, especially because he wasn't like this last time.
"See how hard you make me?" Levi's voice comes out like a growl, "Can't even lay next to you without getting this way."
He fully rolls over me, resting on his knees between my legs. He stares at me, hair sprawled across the pillow, hands now next to my head with arms carelessly resting against the bed, knees touching, awaiting his next move.
"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to have to do something about it." Levi says with a tensed jaw.
Instead of pulling my legs apart, he gently takes the right one up first, kissing the inside of my calf.
"Levi, you don't have to do that." I say, pulling away.
In response, Levi takes hold of my thighs, and with a strong tug, pulls me flush against his core. A squeak escapes me, and he responds with a hum of his own before continuing without dropping a beat. He leaves a trail of kisses before doing the same to the other, both legs eventually resting on his shoulders. He pulls further back before lowering himself. Anxious about what he's doing, I sit up slightly, resting on the back of my elbows.
"Levi, what are you doing?"
"Should have done this a while ago." He says huskily, pulling a towel from the side underneath me, eyes glancing up as he settles between my legs. They ask for permission while he licks his lips, his breath hot against my core. His arms hook underneath my legs while his hands firmly find purchase on my thighs once more. I can barely see him, the moonlight from outside being the only source of light in his room. It's cold, and I can only feel the heat pooling between my legs.
Levi notices my hesitation, "We don't need to if you're not ready for it."
It's quiet for a moment. Biting my lip, I shake my head.
"I'm ready."
He pulls me closer and kisses the inside of my thighs before placing his lips against my heat, pulling off the last piece of clothing between him and I, "That's my girl."
The praise has me rolling my head back with a soft whimper. I cry out again when I feel his tongue against me directly. At first, he takes his time, and my hips rise, impatient.
"So needy." He purrs before I feel him lick my clit for the first time.
My legs tense, and the sheets feel soft underneath my tight grip. Goosebumps run across my body, and I taste blood from my bottom lip that's caught between my teeth. His eyes flicker up to meet mine, the bottom of his face hidden. They're half-lidded, and although he's mostly shadow, his piercing steel grey eyes demand my attention. His hair hangs slightly over his forehead, and when he takes one longer stroke with his tongue, he tilts his head upwards to the side, accentuating his jawline. I reach for his hair to push it back, but he shuffles underneath me before slipping a finger into me.
"Ah, Levi!" My fingers hold his hair tight while my head falls back onto his pillow.
He hums against my core, the vibrations pushing me further along before he slips in another digit. I cry out again, tightening my grip on his obsidian hair. His hands aren't much bigger, but they're rougher. He works at it diligently, time passing quickly unbeknownst to me. Then at once, they curl up against a sweet spot, further enticing the high he wants me to reach.
"Oh my god..." I whimper, "It's good, so good..."
The words stumble out, almost incoherent from my inability to focus on anything else but the man eating me out. The sounds dripping from my lips surprise me, a new discovery of the pornographic whines that sound too similar to the nearby brothel. He moans while moving his free hand onto my breast, rough fingertips playing with any sensitivity to elicit a reaction out of me.
"Look at you being so good for me, baby. Such a delicious, pretty pussy."
"Fucks sake-" I curse, interrupted by another moan as I process the words he's said aloud.
Suddenly, Levi pulls fingers out from inside me. With a disappointed whine, I look down to see he's moved the hand from my chest down to my clit, rubbing it in circles with his thumb. He's moved up higher for me to see him better. Instead of saying anything, he pulls his wet fingers to his lips without dropping our shared gaze, swiping his tongue sensually across his digits. His tongue rolls around his digits once before he takes them into his mouth completely.
My body rolls into his hand in response, more unintelligible words spilling from between my lips for his praise. The nerve endings across my entire body feel like they've been sparked alight, the fireworks behind my now closed eyes bright. His tongue returns its attention to my desperate pussy, desperately working to release the tension in my body. It works, and soon enough, I feel the rush building inside.
"Levi, I'm gonna..." I cry out, another lick driving me crazy, "I'm gonna-!"
His hands find my thighs again, and with a tight hold keeps me in place against his mouth.
"Oh god, I'm gonna cum!"
The wave crashes through me, legs shaking with an arched back and my fingers tangled in his hair. An immediate blank slate prevents me from focusing on anything else but the high I'm riding down from. Even still, I feel a gentle rub on my sides, gently coaxing me through the rush. He guides me through it, only slowing down and stopping once my body relaxes into the mattress below.
My thoughts only organize themselves when I hear our own heavy panting. Finally looking down, Levi sits up while continuing to rub my side while he uses the back of his free hand to wipe his mouth. That sight alone is enough to have me squirm underneath him once more, the euphoric feeling lingering in the background. He leans over me, pressing kisses on his way up, finally nuzzling himself into the crook of my neck.
Levi's playful, low voice breathes as his hand massages my hips, "How was that?"
I huff in slight disbelief, a lazy smile across my lips, "Where the fuck did you learn to do that?"
He laughs softly, pulling away to sit at the side of his bed. "I wish I could say it came naturally, but it's not surprising that guys can't keep their mouth shut about their sex lives in the locker room."
"No fucking way."
"You'd be right. Hange told me some shit without my consent after the first time we slept together."
A laugh erupts from deep within, "Oh my fucking god, she totally would."
"She did." He says, with an amused tone lacing his voice.
He taps my side one last time before pressing a kiss to my forehead, "I'm going to...wash up quick. Get some rest, baby."
I hum lazily, eyes already closed before I feel the bed shift from underneath me, slipping into the calm lul of exhaustion.