Gerard glided over to the couch where Frank was awkwardly sitting with his spine completely straight, as if good posture was somehow going to make a better impression on Gerard, but it couldn't hurt - right?
And Frank was staring again; he knew he was, but he just couldn't help it. Gerard drew his eyes like a moth to flame, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wrench his gaze away from Gerard.
Gerard stopped directly in front of Frank, grabbing his abandoned beer bottle before flopping down onto the couch with a sigh of contentment, turning to Frank with an unreadable expression on his face.
"So I guess this is where we do the awkward introductions, but I'm sure Mikey already told you who I am, and if he didn't - I'm Gerard. I know you are Frank, and you are sweet, according to my brother that is, so now we have that out of the way," Gerard chuckled softly, and Frank felt his own lips twitching upward as well.
"Yeah, uh - he did mention you, and yes, I'm Frank - obviously, and I'm not that sweet, but thanks." Frank felt his cheeks flaming scarlet, and he really hoped the dim lighting in the room was enough to keep Gerard from noticing.
"No - thank you for bringing Mikey home, seriously, I can't say that enough," Gerard gushed, and that was when Frank recognized the look Gerard was giving him - it was gratitude, and the only reason Frank hadn't caught on to it before was because no one ever looked at him that way - why would they? Frank never meant anything to anyone, except maybe Pete, but to have a stranger genuinely thank him was an entirely new experience.
"I - uh, it was no problem. I just felt bad, and fuck knows there have been a few nights I have wished that someone would care enough to walk me home - you know?" Frank stammered out, surprised that he was able to form coherent words. He felt like he was choking on air every time he breathed in, as if the atmosphere had increased in density now that Gerard was in such close proximity to him, and Frank was left feeling dizzy and lightheaded.
"But that's the thing - you did care, and nobody cares about strangers, not really, except you. So let me thank you, okay? I was really worried, and you kept him safe, and that means a lot to me." Gerard flashed Frank a small smile, one corner of his mouth pulling up higher than the other, and Frank actually thought he might swoon for a second, but luckily, he managed to restrain himself and maintain whatever was left of his dwindling dignity.
"Okay." Frank raised his beer to his lips with a shaky hand, just to give himself something to do. He finished it off with a few deep gulps, hoping the alcohol would take affect quickly so he could find some liquid courage to actually say something slightly interesting. His buzz from earlier was almost completely gone, the walk back to the apartment had made certain of that.
"You want another - I need to grab one anyway," Gerard asked, raising his own empty bottle up as he spoke.
"Yeah - I mean, if you are cool with that. I don't want to overstay my welcome or anything. I can totally go," Frank rambled out, because even though he wanted nothing more than to stay here with Gerard all night, he didn't want to come off as desperate, or a pity case who was only here to get as many free beers as he could.
"It's no problem Frank - really. You dragged my brother's sorry ass all the way home, so the least I can do is give you some beer. Plus, I was kind of lonely, and it's nice having someone else here who isn't Mikey, so please - don't leave yet." Gerard stood up and headed to the kitchen before Frank could even begin to form a response - the answer was yes, of course he would stay, but Gerard seemed to assume that without needing verbal confirmation, which was just fine with Frank.
As Frank watched Gerard sway into the kitchen, he got an impressive view of his ass, and even draped in baggy sweat pants, Frank was left trying to wet his mouth with his tongue, because it had suddenly become as dry as the Sahara Desert.
Frank was actually getting sort of freaked out by his strong visceral reaction to Gerard, and he began to wonder if maybe he should take his leave after all before he ended up tearing all of Gerard's clothes off and embarrassing himself in front of the man. He probably wouldn't go that far, but it didn't seem too impossible with the way Frank was feeling, and he didn't know how much longer he would be able to control himself from making some sort of move on Gerard.
Frank had never experienced such an intense attraction for anyone before, and it honestly scared him. He didn't know how to deal with this burning desire that he couldn't quench, and it was slightly terrifying, but also exhilarating. Gerard hadn't even done anything to initiate these emotions, but apparently he didn't have to, and Frank was pretty sure that if Gerard so much as causally brushed his arm in passing, he would come in his pants.
This just didn't make any sense - yes, Gerard was hot, well, stunning actually, but Frank had never considered himself to be overly concerned with looks. He had slept with some pretty unfortunate looking men in the past, and he had still managed to get aroused by them, so he always thought that physical appearance didn't really matter all that much, but Gerard was throwing that theory out the window just by existing.
But it wasn't simply Gerard's looks that were making Frank feel this way - it couldn't be, but he didn't know what else was contributing to his unexplained affections. He knew nothing about Gerard, except that he had a brother who used coke, and he used to be in a band, but he felt like he did know him somehow, or maybe he just wanted to know him.
Whatever it was, it was driving Frank insane, but it was something different, something new, and for the first time in years, Frank wasn't thinking about his father, or his pathetic life - Gerard had chased all of those thoughts out of his head with his presence alone, and that was enough to make Frank want to stick around as long as possible.
Frank didn't know what he hoped to accomplish by staying, he couldn't just throw himself at Gerard, that wasn't his style, but his social interactions were strictly limited to his hookups at the bar, so he was really out of his depth here. Plus, he wanted Gerard - badly, but it was highly unlikely that Gerard felt the same way.
And Frank was just considering making up some lame excuse so he could escape this crazy mind fuck, because no matter how intriguing Gerard was, it was probably better if Frank just left and tried to forget about him. His brain was running in circles already, and it might give out on him if he spent any more time around Gerard, so even though it physically pained him to think of never seeing Gerard again, it might be beneficial for his already questionable mental health.
But when Gerard walked back into the living room with two beers clutched in one of his long fingered hands, Frank knew there was no way he could convince himself to leave now, no matter what ended up happening tonight.
"Here you go," Gerard leaned down, placing Frank's beer directly in his hand, which in turn caused their fingertips to brush ever so slightly.
Frank almost dropped his bottle at the small amount of contact, because he actually felt sparks flowing from the point where their two hands touched - fucking sparks - like this was some cheesy romantic comedy or some shit. Somehow, Frank managed to keep a straight face until Gerard pulled his hand away, and it had to just be Frank's imagination that made it seem like Gerard had lingered there for a few seconds longer than was entirely necessary.
"Is Mikey going to be okay?" Frank blurted out the first thing he could think of when he realized he had been silent for far too long, and it wasn't a bad topic. It was definitely much better than what was currently running through his head, because randomly begging for Gerard to 'fuck me - please' would probably end Frank's short acquaintanceship with Gerard, even though Gerard's reaction would be interesting to see.
"Yes - for tonight at least, but he won't be if he can't kick this shit. He's getting careless, and taking way too much, too often. I hate to think what would have happened to him if you hadn't been there..." Gerard answered with a heavy sigh, leaning back against the couch tiredly.
"I'm glad I was with him...I assumed he was just drunk at first, then I freaked out because I thought he was going to OD or something," Frank chuckled wryly, even though there was nothing funny about Mikey dying, it was more an uncomfortable laugh than anything else, and Gerard seemed to understand that.
"I just wish he would stop, even though I understand why he can't. I have my own addictions, obviously, but I quit the coke at least. That shit was just too intense for me..." Gerard took a long pull at his beer bottle as if to highlight his previous mentioned problems, but Frank understood his dependence on alcohol. He would be a hypocrite if he didn't, because that was one thing they shared, and Frank empathized with him all too well.
"I've never done drugs, and I don't think I want to. Alcohol is enough for me - well, most of the time it is. I guess I can see the appeal though, it would be nice to really forget about everything for a few hours."
Frank wasn't even one hundred percent sure if drugs truly made you forget, but he thought that's what they did, along with giving you a false sense of happiness - or something like that. Now that he actually considered the idea, Frank was honestly surprised that he hadn't tried some sort of substance, but it wasn't like he knew any dealers, and the risks were enough to steer him away from them.
"That's good - don't start, ever. They are alluring, but that's part of the problem for me. They make you someone you aren't, you can't control yourself, and when that happens, things can go wrong. I can be drunk off my ass and still aware of myself, but when I'm high...I don't even know where I am, or what's happening, and that's fucking scary." Gerard ended on a whisper, and by the faraway look in his eyes - which Frank had noticed because he was staring at them, again - Frank guessed that Gerard was reliving a part of his past, and it wasn't a good memory.
"I won't, I wouldn't even know how to get them if I did. It's not like you can go to the pub and ask for some coke," Frank chuckled wryly, trying to lighten the mood with his lame attempt at humor.
"Good, I wouldn't want to see you end up like Mikey - you are too young." Gerard snapped back to himself and caught Frank's eyes with his own.
The intensity burning in his hazel irises had Frank choking back a gasp, and Gerard would have to be deaf not to hear the stifled intake of breath, but he didn't comment on it. Frank just couldn't comprehend the emotions hidden within Gerard's gaze; it was like he actually cared what happened to Frank, and it would genuinely upset him if Frank turned to drugs, but that was impossible - Frank must have simply misread his expression.
"I'm not that young," Frank scoffed, even though he really was, but he couldn't let Gerard know that, not if he wanted to have any chance of something more than conversation coming out of this evening, and he needed to say something to distract Gerard - and himself - from his strong reaction to Gerard's words.
"You are young enough, come on - you can't be more than eighteen," Gerard giggled softly, waving the hand he was holding his beer in for emphasis.
"I'm twenty-one." Frank crossed his arms over his chest, trying to appear stern and believable all at the same time. That was the age he always claimed, the one that his fake ID said he was, and so far, most people didn't seem to question it, but Gerard was not most people.
"Frank, you aren't a liar; I know you aren't, so just tell me the truth. I won't take that beer back or anything, and I really don't care, but please don't spin me the same story I am sure you have told your bartender hundreds of times." Gerard cocked one eyebrow at Frank, waiting for the truth, but that was not something Frank was going to admit to.
"Fine...I'm nineteen," Frank hung his head slightly so Gerard couldn't see the deception on his face, and hopefully he would drop the issue now that Frank had provided a more believable age.
For some reason, Frank's stomach churned uncomfortably, and he had to resist the urge to squirm in his seat - that might come off as suspicious. At first, Frank thought he might have drunk too much, too fast, but then he realized it was because he didn't like lying to Gerard for whatever reason.
For a second, Frank was gripped with the ridiculous idea of telling Gerard the truth, but that would ruin any chance he had with him - he would be lucky if Gerard didn't throw him out when he discovered he was underage, so he couldn't understand why the fuck he would ever want to be honest with him.
Maybe it was just the aura Gerard gave off, and the way he seemed to try and draw Frank out his self-imposed shell. Frank felt more comfortable with Gerard than he did around most people he interacted with on a daily basis, so that could explain the irrational urge for honesty - not that he was actually going to go through with it.
"Well I'm twenty-six, not that it matters - age is just a number and all that shit. It's true though, at least - I think it is. I don't believe that your mental maturity has as much to do with how many years you have been alive, but more with how you have lived - what you have experienced, you know?" Gerard smiled reassuringly at Frank as he spoke, and Frank found himself soaking in his words, and left wanting when Gerard stopped talking.
Gerard came alive in that second, and Frank caught a small glimpse of the real man behind the alcohol and exhaustion that hung around him like a second skin. A small light burned in his eyes, and Frank could tell he was passionate about this subject, and he could have listened to him ramble on for hours.
"That makes a lot of sense when you put it like that, I just never really thought of it that way. I feel much older than nineteen to be honest," Frank sighed out, draining the rest of his second beer when he finished his sentence.
Frank was slightly worried about maintaining his lie as the night progressed, but hopefully, Gerard wouldn't bring up this topic again now that it was settled, and it wasn't that difficult to remember the age he had claimed, he just had to keep his wits about him.
"You seem it - not in a bad way or anything, you don't look old. It's just in your eyes. The eyes never lie, and you have ancient eyes," Gerard mumbled quietly, and Frank felt himself blushing again at the fact that Gerard had actually looked at him long enough to notice his eyes.
"Yeah...I am not surprised that I do." Frank gazed at his now empty beer bottle instead of at Gerard, wanting another, but too nervous to ask Gerard for anything else.
"You want a refill, or if you are feeling up to it, I have stronger stuff? Now that Mikey is home safe, I don't have to worry about being relatively sober," Gerard asked, almost as if he had read Frank's mind.
"Stronger would be good," Frank nodded, maybe a bit too eagerly, but Gerard didn't notice, and Frank was sort of desperate to recapture the elusive buzz that kept slipping through his fingers - beer just wasn't enough for him right now.
Gerard disappeared into the kitchen again, and Frank could hear him rummaging around in the cabinets, but he wasn't gone for more than a minute before he emerged once again with a full bottle of vodka and two glasses, as well as some cranberry juice, all balanced precariously in his arms.
Frank was grateful for Gerard's rapid return, because that meant that his mind didn't have enough time to spiral off into another tangent, and he had already been formulating all the reasons why staying here any longer was a terrible idea, but that train of thought dissipated at the mere sight of Gerard.
"Here, let me help." Frank bolted up from the couch quickly, managing to snag the two glasses which looked dangerously close to toppling over. Frank set them down on the crowded coffee table, shifting some of the other empty bottles aside to make room for Gerard to place the vodka and juice.
"Mikey was right - you are sweet," Gerard smirked once everything had made it onto the table without incident.
"I - uh..." Frank was blushing - again, turning away quickly to try and avoid Gerard's gaze, which resulted in him almost tripping over the leg of the coffee table in his haste.
"Hey - stop trying to hide it, I think you are cute when you blush." Gerard grabbed Frank's arm to steady him as he stumbled, and Frank forced himself to stay still and stop panicking over nothing.
But this wasn't nothing - Gerard had said he was cute, which was basically everything to Frank right now, and he was lucky that his heart hadn't exploded just from hearing those words, but it seemed on its way there with how fast it was beating.
And since when did Frank blush anyway; he was used to this game, it had happened to him more times than he could count, but Gerard made him feel innocent again, unspoiled even, and he liked it - a lot.
"Thanks," Frank heaved out, settling himself back down onto the couch carefully so he wouldn't end up knocking the table again. Frank didn't know if he was thanking Gerard for the compliment, or for catching him before he fell, but both situations applied to his statement, and he didn't bother clarifying.
Gerard didn't release his hold on Frank's arm until he was seated, and Frank felt strangely empty when he finally did. He missed the tingle that shot through his veins when Gerard touched him, even in an innocent way, which of course had Frank wondering how intense the sensation would grow if Gerard was grazing his naked skin, oh fuck - Frank needed to stop his imagination now before he popped a hard on.
"I didn't know if you like to mix your drinks or not, I do it sometimes, but I only have cranberry juice, so I hope that's okay." Gerard gestured to said juice, and Frank nodded to show that it was in fact perfectly fine, but his mind was still stuck a minute in the past, because Gerard had called him cute, but now he was acting like he hadn't, and Frank wanted to return to that train of thought, but he couldn't think of how to do that without coming off as weird, or attention seeking.
Frank regretted not commenting on it earlier, but the moment had passed, and Frank had been too caught off guard to flirt back like he normally would. Gerard made him feel awkward and inexperienced, but not necessarily in a bad way - it was just really fucking strange.
"This is great, perfect actually," Frank finally spoke up when he realized that Gerard had started talking again while he had been zoning out, something about maybe having some other types of liquor if Frank didn't like vodka, but Frank was honestly fine with anything that contained alcohol.
"Cool," Gerard smiled as he poured himself a drink, handing Frank the bottle afterward so he could make himself one as well.
"Is that X-Men?" Frank asked once he was finished preparing his drink, pointing toward the television which was paused at the moment.
"Yeah it is, it's still close to the beginning if you want to watch it with me," Gerard offered, shifting slightly on the couch, and even though he was probably just trying to find a more comfortable position, Frank couldn't help but notice how it placed him even closer to Frank, their thighs were basically touching by this point.
"I'd like that." Frank couldn't stop smiling as Gerard eagerly grabbed the remote and started up the movie.
Frank loved X-Men, and the fact that Gerard obviously enjoyed it too was just making Frank even more attracted to him. Gerard seemed perfect, and even though Frank knew he wasn't - nobody was truly perfect - he couldn't help but feel privileged that he was here, in Gerard's house, watching a movie with him like they were old friends, or maybe even a couple on a casual date, instead of complete strangers that just so happened to be desperate for company.
For the first time in years, Frank felt actually happy, and everything that had been plaguing him earlier this evening fell away like petals from a dying flower. It was probably just a product of the alcohol flowing through his veins, and the fact that there was an insanely hot man sitting next to him, but whatever the reason, Frank didn't care.
He was content, and that was rare, so he was going to enjoy this while it lasted, and the fact that Gerard had so willingly accepted him into his home truly touched Frank. He wanted to voice his thoughts, he wanted to tell Gerard how much this really meant to him, but he didn't, because that might ruin the moment, and he knew he couldn't put what he was feeling isn't words, not properly.
So instead, Frank chose to stay silent, soaking up the sensation of simply being close to Gerard, and for once, Frank wasn't worrying about the hundreds of problems that he would have to face in the morning, because right now, tomorrow didn't exist, it was just him, and Gerard, and the rest of the world had been put on pause as far as Frank was concerned.
An update for all you lovely people that are reading this story.
I seriously just want to thank everyone for the overwhelming positive response I have gotten on this book. It is my favorite fic I am writing at the moment, and all the feedback is super encouraging.
This chapter is dedicated to altoclef52 because of the super nice comment you left on the last chapter, and I really hope you continue to enjoy this.
((((I want to give all of you a hug vibes))))
<3 starr