Alyssa
"Ow you're hurting me,"
"Sorry,"
"It's because you're a doctor,"
"It's because your hair is very tangled," he said, "I'm getting there, I like your drawing,"
"I keep messing up because my head moves,"
"I am sorry,"
"Ow,"
I knew I was being defensive and sharp, but I couldn't help it. I was freaking out.
This was my new home for however many weeks, and it had only just dawned on me. Ashton was literally a stranger that someone out there had decided was safe enough for me to live with. What if he was some secret murderer? Or he hurt me? Or he didn't like me anymore? He had power over me. He could send me back, and say it wasn't working, after the tiniest thing.
And he liked talking. He tried to talk all day and I didn't. I didn't wanna talk all day. I was miserable. I really was.
When we had unpacked my stuff he had put it all in the wash, and had one of his friends bring me fresh pyjamas. My stuff wasn't even dirty. Now it would smell like his house.
What if I wasn't cut out for a family? I'd not had a parent as long as I could remember, it was just my cousins, and I was so grateful they took us in and took care of us, and even sent us to school, but they weren't like parents. I couldn't talk to them, they didn't rub my knee better if I hurt it, they didn't care about report cards or outfits or teaching me life lessons.
Maybe I wasn't meant to have parents.
"Sorry, I can stop for a bit,"
"What?"
"I made you cry,"
"I made me cry," I said, wiping my tears with my sleeve, "Just carry on,"
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Nope,"
"Fair enough,"
"Sorry I was harsh earlier,"
"It's an emotional time, you're doing your best. When you wanna talk I will be here, I understand that we hardly know each other,"
"I don't know how to have a parent," I mumbled, "Or be someones kid,"
"You just have to be yourself and let me do all the hard work,"
"Can we have a break? My back hurts,"
He let go of my hair and I stretched my neck, wincing as I straightened my back. It was still sore sometimes from the accident, they said it would probably hurt forever, which sucked I guess. Wasn't anything different to how life generally treated me generally.
My burns were bad so they had given me a skin graft on my leg which was healing okay but I was insecure about it. The rest of the burns had healed okay. My body had scars all over, but the main one was on my head that the idiot student messed up. Suddenly I felt very insecure.
"Are you okay?"
"No,"
"It's been a long day," he said, gently squeezing my good shoulder, "I'll try and get this done quickly, you can lay down if you want,"
I took him up on his offer, and laid down on the sofa (we had been doing it in the living room so I could watch tv). When I laid down, I realised how tired I really was; if he hadn't been tugging my hair, I would've fallen asleep.
When he finally got it all unmatted, he tied it into a single brain with the bobble I had before. It felt much better, though I did really want to wash all the product out as soon as I got energy.
"Looks like bedtime for you,"
"Yeah,"
"Would you like anything to eat before?"
"I'm fine,"
"Okay, I will leave you to it. Sleep well sweetheart,"
"Are you at work tomorrow?"
"I have some time off. You have a doctors appointment,"
"I know. Does that technically make you at work?"
"I guess it does,"
"I don't want that girl there,"
"It's for physio therapy, she won't be,"
"She better not be,"
Hurriedly, I climbed all the stairs and got ready for bed, which consisted of shutting the curtains and climbing under my covers. It was a comfy bed, with warm covers, and lots of room. The house was quiet too- it was easy to fall asleep in.
For as long as I could remember I hadn't heard quiet. I didn't even know what quiet sounded like until now. The air was still, but it was calm, it was still because nothing was bumping into it. Everything in the house was just still, and it was where it was meant to be.
In the morning, I went to the bathroom and decided to shower, getting back to my room to find ironed and folded pyjamas, and a hairdryer for me. Ashton was like a pixie going round and helping me without doing it in my face which I would hate, and he seemed to know.
Once I was changed, I dried my hair, very awkwardly considering I only had one hand. It took a while, but I finally got it dry, and it looked a million times better. There was a pair of straighteners by the vanity table that I presumed was his nieces, but I hadn't straightened my hair in so long so I wanted to try. I could move my bad arm a little bit, so was positive I could do it.
As it warmed up, Ashton knocked on my already open door with a plate of breakfast, and brought it over.
"Want me to straighten your hair while you eat?"
"No,"
"Oh. Okay, I'll be in my office then. Just gotta respond to a few people,"
"Wait. Can you?"
"Sure. Fancy going out for lunch before your appointment?"
"Not really. I don't wanna leave the house today at all,"
"Maybe we can grab food after,"
"Can you stay in the room with me?"
"Of course I will honey, I'll make sure you're all okay,"
"I'm really scared,"
I wasn't good at showing my emotions, but I was good at telling them. I used to get really wound up, and Axel pretty much shouted at me until I could tell him what was up. It didn't help at the time, but we were both kids so he didn't know what to do. Nowadays other people found it pretty useful that I was a tell more than a show person.
Once my hair was straightened, we went downstairs and decided to bake the cookies since we didn't yesterday. He gave me an apron, then got all the ingredients out, very carefully weighing everything. I didn't expect anything different from a neurosurgeon. We added chocolate chips, then rolled it all into balls to put in the oven. They made the house smell amazing- I hadn't ever made cookies.
"They're looking good,"
"How long do they take?"
"About 5 more minutes, then we can eat one while they're warm,"
"Really?"
"Yeah, they taste the best warm,"
"I'm trusting you,"
"You've never had a warm cookie?"
"I've never made cookies,"
"Ahhh, this is fun then,"
"Yeah. Is there any news on Axel yet?"
"Not yet, I will let you know as soon as there is, I promise,"
"For real?"
"Yep,"
"I don't know whether to believe you because adults lie a lot but I think I an gonna choose to believe you,"
"Good choice,"
We got the cookies out and he made me wait a couple of minutes, then I ate a warm one and found myself smiling. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted, I even had a second.
"We should probably get going soon," he said, looking at his very fancy watch, "Shall we get our shoes on?"
"No,"
"You'll be okay,"
"I don't wanna go, I feel sick,"
"Have a few sips of water and take some deep breaths. I'll be sat there with you,"
"I don't even know you,"
"You know me more than the doctor,"
My lip trembled, but he just brushed his hand under my chin and tucked the hair out of my face, shaking his head.
"Nuh uh, you are gonna be just fine. This hospital is my second home, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you,"
"I really wish my brother was here,"
"I know you do sweetheart. I'll keep a close eye on my emails, and my phone,"
"What's even taking so long? You're good, you're better than his mum. We hated his mum,"
"Things don't always work quickly, but we can hope. And, we need to go,"
"Okay," I sniffled, wiping my eyes, "I'll get my shoes,"
We went to the front door and put our shoes on, then got in his car, which was pretty chilly but he had good heating. The guy had just about every technological advance you could think of and I didn't think he even noticed it anymore.
"Will I still have to wear a sling?"
"They'll tell us,"
"Do I have to have an xray?"
"Again, they will tell us,"
"You're a doctor,"
"Not for broken shoulders," he said
"If I cry are you gonna shout?"
"No. I can give you a hug,"
"I don't want a hug from you,"
"Then I won't hug you,"
"Okay. Good. You're very adaptable," I said
"I am, actually. Boy I have had training, when my niece is really sick she is one hell of a fussy person,"
"Sick?"
"She's okay now actually, but she had chronic kidney disease, a couple of transplants... then she got sepsis and it took a good year to recover. She's in med school now because she wants to study the brain like me,"
"Wow. That's a lot,"
"Yeah... but like I said, she is doing better now,"
"You're very smug that she wants to do the same thing as you,"
"Well her parents are doctors and all my friends are. She chose my thing, the second she could hold things, she chose my thing,"
"Oh. Nice. I wish I had cute childhood stories. I make them up sometimes, Axel and I try and make up the funniest ones, the kids at our old school think we had some insane childhood," I giggled, "Gosh I am as obsessed with Axel as you are your niece,"
"The power of family, ay?"
"Your family all sound very clever, and nice,"
"They are, and you will love them, and they will love you too,"