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tw: mention of drugs and blood
we were just over half way into the year at nevermore. i've lived at this school for a few years now and had learnt the many hiding places and escape routes of the school.
right now we're in a lockdown, something about a killer going around. not to sound like a dick but that doesn't really bother me, i can literally kill people without even touching them. however i'm taking this lockdown to my full advantage.
with no one walking the grounds of nevermore i took the opportunity to truly take in the beauty of nature, the trees and the flowers and the plants. one plant in particular.
a 'friend' of mine had got hold of some weed and had been kind enough to give some of it to me. i was already high when i went out to the woods. some pills i had got my hands on, i didn't know what they were or what they did but damn they were good.
i'm always high. i'm high in class, i'm high at lunch, dinner and breakfast. i'm high on the weekends. it's not a problem though. it's not like i'm addicted to it or anything. i could stop if i wanted, i just don't want to.
i took my time finding a good place to light it, no where that you could see the smoke or that i could be seen from the large windows of the building.
it wasn't an easy task making my way through the woods. the world was spinning and i couldn't think straight. the only thing on my mind was my undying need for a glass of water. i was so thirsty.
after spending an hour in the woods smoking, staring at my hands and throwing rocks at trees i stumbled my way towards the school.
in the process of getting back to my dorm i fell in the woods, i didn't get injured majorly but my head was bleeding a little and my clothes were covered in mud. i was pissed, i had only just washed that hoodie.
the walk back to school was a lot more difficult than it should've been. even with all the foreign substances in my bloodstream it shouldn't have been this bad.
there was definitely something in that blunt that wasn't meant to be there. this is why you don't accept drugs from people who don't like you.
i finally reached the lupin cages and sat on the cold ground for a minute. i needed a minute to get my shit together before i could even think about going anywhere.
that one minute break turned into an hour, not that i'd realised. my phone died 10 minutes in. i couldn't even move to go charge it either, i felt so drained, like i was pulling a bus behind me while i walked.
the hour and a half it took to get back was painfully slow. every step felt like a mile and every breath burned my lungs. blood dripped from the gash on my eyebrow, staining my clothing.
walking up the stairs to my dorm was the worst paint i've ever experienced. i couldn't stop and catch my breath, i was right outside weems' office door and if she caught me i'd be six feet under faster than i could blink.
there was no explanation, excuse or reason that could get me out of this. i was higher than a kite and i looked it too. even i could smell the weed on me, i was coated in mud and dried blood. i looked as if i had been assaulted.
to no one's surprise i fell right over climbing the stairs. my toe caught the lip of the very top step and i folded in two. so close to getting away with it and yet there i was face down on the dirty wooden floor.
i led out the most painful sigh ever, one that truly said 'i just ate utter shit'. i would have been kicking myself if i wasn't already in so much pain. disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how i felt.
this feeling only grew stronger when i head the click of a lock and a door opening. not even bothering to open my eyes to find out who was emerging to laugh at my pathetic self i just lay there.
"y/n?" a voiced echoed . oh fucking hell, of course, of course it was weems. i mean who else would it be. my dumbass had to fall over right in front of her office making the same level of noise as mount vesuvius when it exploded.
i felt her rest a hand on my back as she shook me. her slender fingers making her way to my neck to check my pulse. my eyes remained closed as she examined my body, too exhausted to do so.
i felt her hands grip my shoulders as she rolled me over pulling my body off the stairs and onto the flat surface. there were a few silent moments where she didn't move or speak, i couldn't even hear her breath. it's like she disappeared.
only when i felt her hands slide under my shoulders and knees did i know that she hadn't vanished. her heels clicked against the floorboards. i didn't know where we were going, frankly i didn't care, she was comfortable and felt safe. she was safe.
i clicked onto the fact we were in her office when i heard the creaking of a door. we were too far away from the nurses office to get there that quickly and weems' office was the only thing on this corridor.
i heard another door open and close and felt the soft touch of a mattress beneath me. she disappeared once more and i heard another door open. i sat up very slowly and took in my surroundings.
i was in her bedroom, in fact i was in her bed. she emerged from the bathroom with a first aid kit in her hands to find me resting on my elbows rubbing my eyes.
she rushed over to me a worried look plastered over her face. "lay down darling, you don't want to make your head worse". i did as she said allowing my arms to give out from under me.
i watched her intensely as she pulled all sorts of things out of the first aid kit. her dress was covered in blood and dirt. i guess my head was bleeding more than i had anticipated.
"sorry" i mumbled softly. she stopped what she was doing and looked over at me. "what are you sorry for darling?". i only nodded to her chest where the stain was. "it's okay sweetie, it'll come out in the wash. anyway i'm more worried about getting you fixed up."
tears pricked up in my eyes, her soft gentle voice made my feeling's spiral. everything got put into perspective very quickly. all the drugs, all the money, all the classes i've skipped. all of it.
i was losing control. it wasn't something fun to do on the weekends anymore. i couldn't control it. it wasn't fun anymore.
"is it okay if i clean your head sweetheart?" i hummed softly, my eyes closing slowly. "aha, no you can't go to sleep yet my love. we don't know if it's safe yet." i just whined. i was so sleepy.
i drew a sharp breath when i felt her dab the cloth on my face, it was drowning in rubbing alcohol, it burned so much.
"i know darling, it'll be over soon i promise" i only lay there tears silently flowing down my cheeks.
she finished in due time and placed a plaster onto the wound leaving a gentle kiss on the band aid.
she placed an arm around me as she sat me up, resting against the headboard. she sat down on the bed beside me, staring deep into my bloodshot eyes.
"y/n i need you to be honest with me darling, what happened? what have you taken?". i looked down at my hands and played with my fingers.
she placed a gentle hand under my chin and raised my head to look into her softened eyes.
without a word exchanged between the two of us i pulled the empty pill bottle from my pocket and placed it on my legs.
"good girl, i'm proud of you for being honest with me." she took the bottle from my reach and inspected the label closely
"there was weed too." she looked up to meet my gaze, a saddened look upon her face. i hated that i disappointed her. i didn't like that feeling at all.
"sorry, i'm really really sorry." i said sincerely. she placed a hand on my face wiping away my tears.
"i know you are my darling, we'll talk more about this tomorrow though. right now i'm more concerned with getting you cleaned up. shall we get you a bath sweetie?."
i tried to pull myself up and off the bed, my knees felt weak and my head was throbbing. i grabbed onto the principals arm to steady myself.
noticing my struggle weems picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, slowly placing me down onto the countertop.
she turned the tabs on, filling the bath with water and bubbles. "thank you principle weems" she sat on the edge of the bath and smiled at me softly, "call me larissa darling".
i returned a small smile and rested my head against the wall. i've never been so exhausted in my whole life.
she left the bathroom while i undressed and climbed into the large bathtub.
my movements were slow while trying to wash the dirt and blood from my body. i called out for larissa.
she was quick to come back to the bathroom. "is everything okay sweetheart?" "i was just wondering if you could help. it okay if you don't want to, it's just that it hurts to move." i rambled on.
"of course darling, i'd be more than happy." she knelt beside the tub and took the washcloth from my hands. she was gentle with her movements. not pressing too firmly over the bruised areas.
"larissa" "yes sweetheart?"her voice was laced with concern " i don't feel too good" she looked at me with pity and sorrow and said "i know darling, it'll be okay, you're going to be okay, i pinky promise you"
we sat in a peaceful silence while she washed my body and hair, the only sound was the crackling of the bubbles and my sharp breathing.
she left the bathroom once more after she had finished giving me a bit of privacy to dry off and change into the t-shirt and shorts she had lent me.
i walked out of the bathroom, the t-shirt coming down to my knees. the older woman chuckling softly at me.
she had changed into a set of white silk pyjamas. her blonde hair was no longer pinned up but it lay just below her shoulders.
she got up from her place on the bed to pick me up and place me down where she was just sat. she tucked me in planting one last kiss on my forehead and turning around to leave.
"where are you going?" i asked quietly. she looked back at me, " i'm going to sleep on the sofa in my office, i didn't want to make you uncomfortable angel. "
my eyebrows furrowed. "can you stay with me please?" she smiled softly and came back to climb into the bed next to me, turning off the lights as she did so.
i rolled over to face her, admiring her blue eyes and soft skin. she opened her eyes to find me staring at her. she chuckled softly and pulled me into her embrace.
my head tucked into her neck and my legs entangled with hers. she ran her slender fingers through my damp hair, leaving kisses on my head as she whispered sweet nothings in my ear.
that night was rough. i woke up a lot, rushing to the bathroom to vomit. but larissa was there with me every time, holding my hair back. helping to brush my teeth afterwards.
in the months after larissa had discovered me collapsed on the stairs, she helped me to detox and get clean. throwing out all of my pills and drugs i had stashed away.
she was there for every relapse, doubtful thought and difficult moment. i really couldn't have done it without her
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2105 words.
not proof read soz.
mommy larissa 🫶🫶🫶
i wrote this instead of doing the 6 overdue maths assignments i have. it was so worth it i love this story. gwen is literally my hyper fixation rn because i started watching game of thrones last week. i'm in love with the show already.
really hope you enjoyed
marley:)