- Finally, the only one missing - the door opened revealing who I least expected. Momo.
- What are you doing here? - I furrowed my eyebrows without understanding and looked around to make sure I was in the right place. Was I going crazy enough to have switched Chaeyoung's apartment for the one in front of me?
- What do you mean what am I doing here? - She threw her hands on her hips returning my gaze in the same intensity. - Only you can be invited to parties, right? I thought we had already gotten over your old personality.
- First, this is not a party. Although I'm in doubt now that you're here - I scoffed, receiving an even darker look, my lips pressed together to hold in a laugh. - Second, since when do you know Chaeyoung?
- Who disappeared for a year was you. - She laughed - I met her before the accident, we took some classes together and we even had a little band. - I squinted my eyes asking for a better explanation. - Long story, but even Sana was in on it.
- Are you going to stay there all night? No matter how beautiful my door is, it's cooler inside. - I heard Chaeyoung scream from inside the apartment and I smiled.
- But since when have you - she emphasized, stepping forward to tap my shoulder. - Are you such a friend of Son?
Her expression was pure insinuation and I knew exactly where this conversation was going to end if I let her go.
- I don't owe you an explanation - I raised my eyebrow directing her an intimidating look, but I didn't resist long. She took things so seriously and I had so much fun with it. I threw an arm over her shoulders and walked through the door beside her. - By the way, how is Sana?
- She will spend a few more days in Japan, the longing for her family was greater than she expected.
- Thank God, I was already starting to think something had happened.
- You should call her, Mina - I turned towards her to find her brown eyes with a certain gleam of concern.
- I prefer to wait for her to come back, I want to say everything personally and at once.
Once inside the apartment, it didn't take long for me to feel at home. Besides Momo and Chaeyoung, there was another girl there who seemed to be best friends with her. Dahyun was her name. I will admit that I felt a trace of jealousy when seeing the closeness of the two, the teasing, the codes, the nicknames. Not that I thought there was anything else there, but the fact that Chaeyoung was extremely comfortable next to her bothered me.
We were getting ready for movie night and I was sprawled on the couch watching every well-furnished square inch of that room while the girls did something in the kitchen. Everything there seemed to have come out of a store catalogue, the white walls, the furniture varying between gray and coffee, very well placed accessories giving an air of modernity. Nothing like her parents' house.
A breeze blew through the room, ruffling the curtains and drawing my attention to the huge balcony beside me.
- Mina? - I didn't move a muscle, but I knew it was Chaeyoung looking for me.
- At the end of the couch. - I whispered almost inaudibly, I was completely in love with the view through the glass door. The sky was already darkening and the moon appeared hovering, almost in line, on her window.
- What are you doing? - I could feel her weight shift the pillow beside me and I allowed myself to look at her.
- The view is wonderful - My eyes ran all over her body briefly noticing her clothes. First time I saw her in stripped clothes and it was impossible to contain a smile. She wore a long black blouse and aqua green sweatpants, she looked like a child.
- Since I moved I've only been able to look at it once, but it's really beautiful.
- Why?
- The accident happened two days after the apartment was ready.
- What a pity, huh? - Chaeyoung rolled over and laid her head in my lap.
At first I was unresponsive, even though I was much closer to her in the last few days, I still couldn't react well to our interactions.
Chaeyoung didn't make it easy either, she's the type of person who isn't afraid to invade the other's space when she wants to and doesn't spare time being distant from someone. She had this habit of talking close to your face when she emphasized something, keeping her hands on you, things that until another time would have driven me completely crazy. I hated unnecessary interactions and affection for me was something complicated to show, if I was better today it was Sana's merit, who wasn't much different from Chaeyoung in that regard.
- What movie are we going to see? - she asked. I let my fingers drop to her head and run carefree through her hair.
- I don't know, they debated so much and got nowhere - we smile together, the scene of Momo and Dahyun discussing the pros and cons of each movie coming to mind. - Why is it movie night if you can't even watch it?
- I don't care, I've watched most of these movies and it's funnier to hear the lines and remember the scenes in my mind.
- And how do you not sleep? - She laughed with the indignation present in my voice.
- I always sleep, but don't tell them. - She whispered, the hoarse and muffled voice always making me shiver. - It's not like we have much choice - she shrugged, her lips curling.
- Of course we do. Girls? - I called as soon as the two left the kitchen, both carrying pots of popcorn and glasses of soda. - Before the movie, Chaeng and I decided to try something different.
- And what would it be? - Dahyun said while putting things on the table.
- Don't ask! Nothing worthwhile is said when she thinks these things, we just have to ignore it and smile. - I scowled as soon as Momo gave me her attention, an ironic smile on her lips. Chaeyoung laughed in my lap.
- We could play truth or dare.
- Dahyun, please no. I refuse to play this because things never end well for me. - Chaeyoung snorted getting serious.
- Uh, that's right! I remember that time you almost broke up nak-
- Shut up Dahyun! - She exploded desperately before her friend could finish the sentence, making us all laugh.
- What happened Chaeng? - I whispered to her.
- Nothing. - Her voice came out lower than mine, the visible embarrassment. Now I can't give up.
- Did you get naked? - her face blushed almost instantly, I was on the right track. - Were you really naked? - She took a moment, but then nodded, almost imperceptibly, and buried her face in my stomach.
That was a surprise, so she wasn't as naive and pure as I thought. It was funny to see that she had her secrets and moments, it piqued my curiosity even more. I quickly tried to recreate the situation she found herself in and the image of what her naked body would look like came to my mind. The attempt to know what her curves were like under the fabrics made me run my eyes over her body stretched out on the couch.
- Can you two stop whispering there? - Momo addressed us and I swallowed hard when I caught her staring at me. Had she noticed my glancing at Chaeyoung? - Let's play never have I ever.
- Yes! - Dahyun spread her hand in the air.
- I've always wanted to play that. - Chaeyoung got off my lap and positioned herself in front of the table, leaving only the other end for me.
- We're not doing this with alcohol, are we? - I asked dragging myself across the rug.
- As much as you'd like to, no. Today is not the day to get drunk and I can't tell you all my dirt secrets in one go.
- Okay, I'll start. - I said and everyone took their respective cups in their hands. - Never have I ever wet the bed after getting completely drunk at a party. - Dahyun and Chaeyoung burst out laughing when they noticed Momo turning the glass slowly, sulking at my revelation.
We spent a good part of the time entertained with the stories that came up at every moment of the game. We had to adapt it a bit because of Chaeyoung's complaints, so every time someone had to drink it was also necessary to let her know. Momo kept me her target the entire time, it was almost hilarious to watch her force her mind to remember the most embarrassing things that happened to me and even miss it every now and then. The other two weren't far behind, but their teasing was healthier and less intense.
For a moment I was afraid of what the younger ones, and especially Chaeyoung, might think of me after all that. All the things said about me were from my time without limits and didn't make me proud in the slightest. But everyone was having fun and nothing there seemed to be being taken seriously. The fact that we got along so well was like we'd known each other for a long time and that was completely weird and new to me. The way we talked to each other, a toast to new sensations, I told myself.
- Never have I ever... Kissed a girl - Momo was looking at me from full of expectation.
- Me. - I lifted the glass and took a sip, making her explode with joy.
- Now my doubts have been answered. Myouigay. - The three laughed making me roll my eyes.
- So what, women kiss better. But I have no preferences. Whoever catches my attention first wins. - I tried to sound as indifferently as possible, my eyes discreetly wandering to follow the reactions of the girl next to me. Chaeyoung didn't seem bothered by the news.
- Okay, let's continue. Never have I ever... Pooped somewhere in the house - Dahyun launched and we all looked at her scared. - What? I was just curious. -
Chaeyoung burst out laughing across the table.
- Dubu, when we said we wanted to know the dirt we weren't talking about that kind of thing.
Dahyun rolled her eyes and picked up the glass again.
- I'll try again then. Never have I ever kissed anyone. - I snorted at the nonsense and gave my signal turning to drink and listening to everyone's voice, except Chaeyoung. I looked at her and her laughter had ceased, the glass away from her hands.
- Chae, you never kissed someone? - Momo almost spit when she saw the same thing as me.
- No. She is waiting for her prince. - Dahyun smiled with a victorious air.
- I've just never been in love.
- And what does that imply? - it was my turn to ask. I was curious about that fact, she was nineteen and still hadn't kissed anyone?
- I don't want to kiss a random person. Not that I believe in Prince Charming - she stuck her tongue out at Dahyun. - But I hope my first kiss is with someone special, someone I like a lot and that means something to me.
Her words were so sincere that I felt like a hoe. My eyes fixed on her face, noticing the trace of discomfort she felt, even though she was so sure. Of course, it was difficult to remain so sure of your truths when there's a whole society screaming that you're wrong. The fact that she stuck to her ideals made me admire her even more as a person. She had a made up mind, down toearth, and despite being more silly than serious, she had a higher maturity level than the three of us there.
- You have to end this soon. - Momo said in a sigh. - I don't know what I would do without kissing someone nowadays.
- See, Chae? This is bullshit, you don't know what you're missing. - Dahyun countered. The words starting to affect Chaeyoung.
- Okay guys, let's watch the movie? - I interrupted the two before that conversation ended by changing her thoughts.
We ended up watching “A Rainy Night in New York”. I think I was the only person in the world who hadn't seen this movie yet and everyone made that clear before playing. I still didn't watch because my eyes kept going to Chaeyoung every second. She had been quieter after that talk about the kiss, and in my mind I was begging her not to let the others' comments get her down.
I was in one of the side chairs, sitting on my legs, while Dahyun was on the floor with Momo, both leaning against the sofa where I had been before, and which was now completely occupied by Chaeyoung.
Today was yet another day where she surprised me, at first showing me she was not so inocente, straight-laced girl I once considered herself to be and now this. At the end of the day she is the most decisive person I know. The fact that she hadn't even had her first kiss was something sweet to see, she was really waiting for someone who move her, someone to whom she could deliver the intimacy that was such a thing and I already saw myself envying that someone.
The movie ended and with it our time there. Even though I really wanted to stay, it was already late and the next day the girls would have class, so there was no possibility of it being different.
We packed up and headed down the hall. I lost myself in daydreams about my deal with my father's lawyer and what it would result in tomorrow, maybe I had good news or bad news.
- What's on your mind? - Chaeyoung leaned against me and asked in a whisper. Momo and Dahyun bursting out laughing with the conversation they had just ahead.
- Worried about what you think of me after today. - I lied with a hint of truth.
- Just because you're the record holder for fainting from mixing different drinks? Don't worry. - We both laughed. I was relieved to know that she had taken it easy and not brought up the subject of sexuality as everyone always does. - Can I ask you something?
- Of course - I threw my arm over her shoulders and looked at her, it was so sweet the way she spoke when she wanted something.
- Would you kiss me? - I stopped my steps abruptly making her hit me.
- What do you mean kiss you? Like someday? You know you're beautiful Chaeng and one day someone will captivate you and-
- Like now. - she cut me off and my eyes squinted at the direct way she said it.
My heart sped up desperately at the thought that the girl in front of me was even considering that possibility. And if this was a joke, it was not funny at all.
- You want me to kiss you? - I stammered looking around making sure no one was around. Chaeyoung nodded and I found myself extremely confused. - Chaeng, what about that expecting someone special talk?
- I'm already nineteen, Mina. I won't do this for anyone but myself, don't worry. I'd just like to try it out and it's you I want to do it with, if you don't mind.
She was talking about a mere kiss and I was reacting like she was asking me for sex. So I was special? My head was more confused than ever with all those words, I couldn't even formulate a dignified response to give her. I felt relieved that she couldn't see me now and witness my inner pain. Chaeyoung was next to me and she was still in the same position, her lip running between her teeth in a sign of nervousness. I had to think fast or I would end up hurting her.
On one hand I wanted to kiss her, I don't know where that desire came from, but now it was there, stronger than ever. But on the other hand, there was my fear of corrupting her, I don't know how or why, along with my fear that, somehow, that would ruin our friendship or even make her think that I took advantage of her.
- Chaeng...
- No, I already understand. - she sighed as if waking up from a trance. - It was nonsense what I said, forget what I asked, please.
Did I hear a twinge of disappointment in her voice? Did she really want me to kiss her? We walked to the elevator hall separately, Chaeyoung was a little further ahead while I accompanied her still in disbelief with everything that had happened a few seconds ago. We arrived at the exact moment when the two elevators opened and there I saw a metaphor for my inner battle. Go in with the girls and let it all go or take my chance and take Chaeyoung with me?
For the first time I allowed myself to think like I used to without thinking too much.
I held Chaeyoung by the hand and pulled her to the other elevator, closing the door right away without giving the girls time to try anything. I pressed the last floor and when it started to go up I selected all the others to save time.
- What happened? - she asked confused.
I brought my body closer to hers, pushing her lightly until she leaned against the wall. Her chest heaved instantly at our proximity, she already knew what was coming and it was comforting to see that she was nervous.
- Actually, it's what's about to happen. - my words came out almost inaudibly. I allowed myself to admire her for a moment, my fingers running through her hair and finally settling on the sides of her face. She was almost panting, which made me smile, I hadn't even done anything yet. I lifted her face towards mine and stared at her parted lips. - Relax Chaeng.
Without giving her time for an answer, I brought my mouth to hers like in a romance movie, calmly and slowly. The contact of our lips distributed shivers throughout my body and an overwhelming sensation, they were so soft and so seductive. I allowed myself to hold them there for a while, just savoring the moment. I squeezed my eyes shut knowing I should release her any second, I couldn't feel her breathing and the fact that her body remained rigid bothered me.
Chaeyoung took one of her hands to my shoulder, slightly pushing my body back and then I slowly pulled away hearing the slight smack of her lips and opened my eyes, worried.
- There's something wrong?
She didn't say anything, just let out the air that she held so heavily for so long and then her fingers, unexpectedly, closed on my shirt and pulled me towards her. This time there was nothing romantic about the touch, our lips collided furiously. With her free arm she was quick and wrapped me by the neck, pulling me close, making the two of us almost occupy a single space.
My arms automatically wrapped around her waist keeping her tight against me and our kiss gradually gained intensity. We went quickly from the pressing of lips to the exasperated meeting of tongues. They touched, caressed and explored each other, everything in the most deft way and it was like an explosion of sensations inside me. Chaeyoung surprised me by taking the step to deepen the kiss and now she totally owned the moment. Her body was completely surrendered as, for the first time, I felt mine. I would never have imagined that her first kiss would be like this or that it would even affect me so much.
I took it upon myself to put an end to everything, even against all my body's impulses. I gradually decreased the intensity until we got to the pecks and I did something I've wanted to do since I saw her do it for the first time in that old college hall. I ran my teeth across his lip and wedged it between them, pulling it to me and squeezing a little tighter before finally pulling away. She moaned in response.
As if it were all premeditated, the elevator door opened now revealing the hall of the building and the two girls who seemed to be waiting for us impatiently. I tried to compose myself as much as possible, as did Chaeyoung, before we stomped out of there and faced those two.
- Where were you? - Momo asked with her arms crossed and looking suspiciously at us. Chaeyoung carried a goofy smile on her lips which made me smile too.
- In the elevator. - She replied instigating them even more.
- What do you mean in the elevator?
I felt a touch on my left hand and looked down discreetly, noticing Chaeyoung's fingers intertwine with my pinky behind our bodies.
- Let's just say... I was showing her a really cool thing she could do in there. - The irony dripping into my words.