Bryan's POV:
She was afraid of me. The look of terror on her face and in her eyes crushed my soul, but I couldn't reel Max back in. I had to run. I had to shift. I had to release this anger, this frustration....my fear. The fear of failure. If I fail, she will pay the cost.
After shifting, I raced through the territory to the one place I could clear my head. I wanted answers, I wanted clarity, I wanted peace. I half-heartedly wanted her to follow me, but when the rain began falling, I understood how deeply I had affected her. She had been so strong this entire time, taking things in stride, even accepting us, accepting me.
I reach the landing in no time. Max unleashes a pained howl into the air. He is experiencing the same emotions, maybe even more so, because we haven't finished the mating process. Yes, she is marked, but only because I was forced to mark her. That's not how it is supposed to be done. It wasn't fair to her. It should have been an intimate moment between us, building and strengthening our bond.
I pace back and forth on the landing in the drizzling rain, running my hands through my hair. I am somewhat comforted by the fact the storm has dissipated some. Her fear has lessened, but her concern for me keeps her restless.
"What did you expect? She's your mate and she loves you." I nearly jump out of my skin as a voice breaks through the silence. I turn to see Celeste standing in front of me. I immediately kneel. "You've done well, my child. I know you're frustrated. You have been diligent in your training and are prepared for this war, but I want to ensure Amanda is also prepared. Your plan is strong and so are you....and so is she. Stop doubting your ability, or hers. She is not fragile." I stand and nod.
"She's the strongest person I've ever met. I just want to make sure she's protected and safe. I don't know what I'd do if—if..." my voice fails me as I feel tears escape my eyes. It's been a long time since I've cried and felt this vulnerable. Doubt fills every fiber of me. Celeste walks toward me and places a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"This war is inevitable. You must use the time you have left to get her ready. Your plan is solid. Trust it. Trust yourself. Trust your circle. You've done everything I've asked of you and I promise you will reap the rewards." she smiles gently. I just nod and lower my head. I wipe my eyes and when I look up, she's gone. I let out a shaky deep breath.
I spend the next few hours taking in the sights and sounds of my secret spot. I hear the rustling of the leaves under someone's foot. I don't turn around as I know it's James. He knew I had a secret place, but he has never before entered it as he respected me as his best friend. The closest he has ever come was the night of the rogue attack back in high school. He is here to make sure I am alright. He has never seen me like this, as the roles are usually reversed. I'm the cool-headed planner and fighting strategist. I don't rush in and I keep emotion out of it. But when it comes to her, my heart led the fight. It is definitely new territory for me. And, apparently, for James, too.
"So...." he finally breathes out while taking a seat next to me. "This is the spot. You sure know how to pick them." he takes a deep breath and exhales, taking in the scenery. I continue to stare ahead. "You good, bro?" he asks without breaking away from the waterfall. Am I good? That is a loaded question and I'm not sure I have the answer.
"I'm in uncharted waters here, James. I'm too invested to ever think about quitting on her. She's my world. I don't know what I would do if something happened to her." I chuckle to myself sarcastically as if things haven't already happened. "She's already had her world turned upside down and inside out. How can we ask her for more?"
"We aren't the ones asking. Our hands are being forced. But, because we love her, because you love her, we will do what we can to prepare her. She will not fight alone. We have her back as much as we have yours. Trust me, if I were in your shoes I'd have gone stark mad! You know how hot-headed I can get when it comes to Whitney, but you have to stop doubting yourself. It's time to trust and have faith. The Moon Goddess will bless us for dealing with this monster and saving an innocent." He has no idea how right he is.
I shut my eyes. Her beautiful face flashes across my mind. I've got to apologize for earlier. She deserves at least that. Hopefully, I can smooth this over. I don't want her to be afraid of Max. "You ready to head back? I think you might have someone in need of comforting." James bumps his shoulder into mine. For the first time in hours, I crack a smile. I run my hand through my hair and take another deep breath.
"Yeah. You're right. Duty calls." We walk back down the path in a comfortable silence. It takes a little longer to get back since we stay in human form. The sun has long set over the horizon and a cool breeze whispers sweet nothings to the trees.
When we arrive at the pack house, it is silent. Most have long gone to bed. James gives me a nod of encouragement and heads to his room on the fourth floor. I walk toward our room and hear her soft breathing. She's asleep. I don't want to wake her. I consider sleeping in a guest room, but I need my mate. I open the door slowly and stealthy make my way to the closet to change clothes.
As I re-enter the bedroom, I stand by the bed and watch her sleep. Her face silently red and puffy from crying and a pang of guilt tugs at my heart. I finally gather up enough courage to slip into bed next to her. I wrap my arms around her and pull her in tight. I nuzzle my face into her neck and breathe in deeply her scent. Sweet honeysuckle.
I feel her stir from her sleep and pull her arm out of the blanket. She interlaces her fingers with mine. I warm at her action. I have things to say to her, but how do you apologize when an apology isn't enough? I take a moment to collect my words. I breathe in deep one more time before I speak.
"I know I scared you. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I won't apologize because you deserve so much more than an apology." I pause, exhaling again. "Words cannot express how deeply I love you. I will protect you with every fiber of my being. I just—I just lost it—I felt your fear of me. The storm, our link, your face said it all." She remains quiet and still. I need her to say something or move or react, but she doesn't. My need to see her face wins over my patience. "Baby, please turn around and look at me." She rolls over facing me, she doesn't look me directly in the eyes, but her swirling emotions are crashing through our bond in waves. She remains silent, but her beautiful hazel eyes slowly take me in and she locks eyes with me.
One look, all of my fear, guilt, regret rolls down my face in salty rivers. She reaches up and cups my face, pulling me into a soft kiss. My need for her pushes me to deepen the kiss, filling it with all of my emotions. My thirst for her wasn't quenched so I search under her shirt for skin to skin contact.
Suddenly, she breaks the kiss and rests her forehead on mine. We are both breathing heavily, no words, just raw emotions. She lifts her head and stares into me, I can't understand her expression, but I wait for her to say something. Anything. This silence is so heavy.
"Make love to me, Bryan." she says softly. My eyes widen and my breath hitches. What did she just say? Surely, I misheard her.
"Wha—what did you say?" I ask, not fully comprehending what is happening between us. She kisses me again and her hands begin to roam my chest. Our kiss deepens again and my hands do their own exploring, squeezing her perfect ass and breasts. My Goddess, she is perfect. I want her so badly!
Her moan causes me to roll her on her back. I stop momentarily to look into her eyes again. She looks ready, but I have to be sure.
"Baby, are you sure?" She nods with a mischievous smile. I am overjoyed and extremely turned on, but I know I have to go slow for our first time. I focus on making sure she is well tended to in our bed. Her moans and movements urge me on. I take my time, making sure to please her, touching her in all the right places. I feel our bond snap into place. Her warmth surrounding me as I fell deeper and deeper inside her. I've never felt so connected with anyone like I do her. Two bodies, one soul.
After lying there naked together, she asks to meet Max. He is, of course, elated. I decide we need to shower and eat before heading into the woods. I know she will be sore and I know she hasn't eaten enough today due to my outburst earlier.
I take her into the bathroom and can't resist touching her perfect body again. I want her to feel my passion again. We make love a second time in the shower. I can't get enough of her. She is my drug and I am already addicted.
We finally break apart and I notice how famished she looks. As a new wolf, she needs more calories than a human. We eat in a comfortable silence, but my nerves are on edge. I have trust in Max, but after what happened today, my confidence is slightly shattered. Luckily, everything went as it should and she embraced Max with love and ease. It was truly amazing. We walk back to the pack house to get some much-needed rest, especially since her extensive training begins today. Sleep takes us by storm and we relish ourselves in each other's arms.
If my alarm isn't annoying enough, James' mindlink to the entire training crew sure as hell is. Before waking Amanda, I do my normal morning routine and get dressed for a long day of training. I walk over to the bed, making a mental note of how incredibly sexy my mate is. I hate I even have to wake her up.
"Baby. Bbbbaaaabbbbbyyyy. It's time to rise and shine. Or in your case, bring the rain of doom!" I see a smirk rise on her face and a guttural chuckle from her pillow.
"You are so cheesy!" she laughs as she rolls over onto her back giving me a full view of my handy work from last night. She spies my stare and tries to cover herself.
"Ah ah ah! You never need to cover up what's mine! You're stunning, babygirl." she blushes. I stare at her for a few moments more before my nagging question rises to my memory and I have to ask it. "Why did you choose last night?" She looks at me in confusion for a second before realization of what I am talking about clicks in her mind.
"After you left and I spent a majority of the day in bed, crying, I just wanted to feel closer to you. It's like I needed to finish this before I started this training. Our connection gives me strength. Does that make sense?" she eyes me curiously. I simply nod, then lean down to give her a gentle kiss.
After she gets dressed and does her morning routine, we join the rest of the pack house for breakfast. All of those involved in Mandy's training are here. They all look ready to get started, anxious, but in a kickin' ass takin' names sort of way. They aren't going to let my girl down. I swell with pride. We eat breakfast in a fairly hushed room. As breakfast draws to a close, Alpha James stands at the head of the table.
"We have two days before the full moon, which means I want the shifting and elemental training to begin immediately. We need to go over some details of Amanda's first shift so she can shift without fear of a blind attack while it happens. At this point, we don't know if Marcus knows she's been bitten or not." I see Amanda touch her mark which, even after mating, remain two small scars, nothing noticeable. I feel slight disappointment, but I promised her we would figure it out together. "This could be our secret weapon to defeating him. Furthermore, Cora will be working with her as the elemental expert. During those private sessions, all warriors will train." I feel Mandy stiffen at his words "all warriors" as two of our best are being held captive. She doesn't speak about it, but her dread of what's happening to her two best friends is evident. "Let the training commence!" The entire room empties and everyone heads to the training grounds.
"Here we go!" I state. I reach my hand out for hers. She places it in mine and we walk together as one cohesive unit.