Thank you for being so supportive! <3
The song of this chapter!
The Spins - Mac Miller
First-person perspective
- Robert Maddens -
It takes me another hour and a half to finish the tests. Victoria only came down once to get Marcel from the backyard - we completely ignored each other, I heard the shower run but that's about it.
When I'm done, it's dark outside and I go upstairs to change finally. Once reaching the door I try to open it but it's locked. I sigh loudly and knock on the door, "Victoria, open the door - you're being childish".
"No thanks" She replies, "I'd rather not see your face".
I close my eyes, using my fingers to pinch the bridge of my nose, "Just let me in, I'm sorry I didn't want to do... 'aftercare' but you gotta understand I have responsibilities and I can't just fuck around with you all the time. Now let me in please".
Victoria stays quiet for a second before responding, "That doesn't sound sincere enough".
My brows pull together, "Well how do you want me to sincerely apologise?".
"I'm not telling you how to apologise, I'm done talking." She states and - out of the blue - turns on music loudly to block me out.
I groan, "Victoria, this is ridiculous".
She doesn't respond but I can hear her humming and singing along to the lyrics. I walk away, not entirely giving up yet. Sitting on the couch again, I open my phone and message her.
Victoria
R: I'm not joking Open the door, my cigarettes are in there, I need them.
V: Not my problem.
R: Fine, behave like a child. You haven't even eaten though what are you going to eat? At least let me bring you food.
V: No thank you.
R: You have to eat.
V: Not if I don't want to.
R: You're such a pain.
V: K.
Victoria can say she isn't hungry but that isn't going to stop me from making her dinner anyway. I quickly walk into the kitchen and grab the ingredients for ravioli, a personal favourite of mine.
Once it's done, I serve it up in two bowls, grabbing one and walking upstairs. By now Victoria had turned the music down so she could have a proper conversation with her. I knock on the door and she doesn't respond. "I brought you food".
"I told you I didn't want food." I hear her faintly say through the door.
"I know, but, You have to eat - so..." She doesn't say anything to my words, I stand and think for a moment, "I'll leave it here, okay? And I'll leave so you don't have to worry about me". Victoria doesn't respond to me, again, so I just place it down and walk down the stairs, "See? I'm gone, now please take it!" I call out from the bottom of the stairs.
I hear the door creak and shut which makes me smile victoriously. I sit in the lounge room with my food, eating while Shameless still plays.
While watching, I decided to sleep in the lounge, that's if Victoria hadn't let me in by then. I could sleep in the guest room but it kind of gives me the creeps, I'm not sure why and that sounds kind of pussy - being scared of a room that is - but it's so empty and clean and reminds me of having to babysit Xavier overnight which is hell and back.
Once done with my food, I put the bowl in the sink found some clean clothes from the dryer for me to wear and chucked my dirty clothes in the washing machine.
I lie on the couch with a folded blanket next to me, checking my phone and looking over through the archway to the stairwell for Victoria, hoping that she will come down but she doesn't.
I don't want to argue with Victoria, Who would wanna fight with her? Other than Maria, of course.
I debate going to her again and begging but I feel as if she won't budge. Episode after episode, it somehow was 3:00 a.m. before I knew it and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I switch the TV off and check my phone once more before closing my eyes and trying to fall asleep, my arm behind my head.
I feel like I'm half-asleep for what feels like an hour before I wake up to the sound of a door and footsteps. My brows pull together and I squint my eyes - closing and reopening them. I see Victoria and open them completely, tilting my head slightly.
My eyes are droopy and tired making my vision blurry before I notice the tears running down her cheeks. She sniffles and leans on the wall of the entrance to the lounge. I rub my eyes and sit up, "What's wrong?" I ask with a tired husk to my voice.
Her lip trembles and her eyes well up with tears once again, more tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Victoria..." I try to get up but I'm still a little too tired, "Has what I said... upset you? I'm sorry... I can't abandon everything I need to do just for you... I still have to do what I've got to do and you must understand that".
She sniffles, "I don't wanna be lectured right now... it sounds like you're being mean".
"But love, you're upset because I had to do something that I had already pushed back to the last minute for you, You must admit you're being slightly unreasonable" I sigh, "I'm not being mean".
She shakes her head and I exhale softly.
"If I could, I'd give you all my attention twenty-four-seven... I would, but I'm busy I've gotta do some things" I explain, "You're making this about yourself...".
Victoria's brows curl upwards slightly as I say that, her lip gutters more and she holds the wall tightly for comfort.
I immediately feel guilty, "I didn't mean that I'm tired and I don't know what I'm saying" I nod, "C'mere" I gesture my two fingers to her and she hesitantly lets go of the wall, walking up to me.
She sits in front of me on her knees. I use my thumbs to wipe her tears. "I'm not trying to be selfish..." she mumbles.
"I know, I didn't mean that" I reassure, "I don't know what I'm talking about, okay?".
She nods and I begin to lie back down, patting my stomach to welcome her to lie down. Victoria lies down between my legs, resting her head on my chest. One of my legs hangs off the side of the couch so she can lay comfortably. I kiss the top of her head and pat her hair.
"I angrily shit-talked you to Matt and I feel really bad about it now..." She sniffles.
I have my eyes closed with a small smile, "It's okay, sweetheart, don't feel bad..." She sobs slightly, I run my fingers over her cheek. "It's late, go to sleep".
Victoria settles but I can tell she's still awake, I soothingly rub her back in hopes it will help her fall asleep which she does. Marcel comes down from upstairs, curling into a ball next to me and Victoria, and falling asleep. I go to sleep too.
We only slept for another few hours - I awoke first, the sun peeking through the blinds onto my face. Victoria was asleep with her cheek on my chest, I grabbed my phone from beside me, 8:29 a.m. I have work in sixteen minutes and no one to take my class but I can't seem to find myself waking her up. Marcel is still sleeping beside the both of us as well.
I just lie there and appreciate all her features. Her slim slightly upturned nose, full lips, her dark brown hair and her naturally long lashes which I notice start to flutter as she awakes. I feel her rub her cheek against my chest before she lifts her head and meets eye-to-eye with me.
Her hair is messy, pieces flicked over where they aren't supposed to be. I give a small smile but she keeps a straight face, Victoria sits up on my stomach, flipping her messy hair over, and reaches over for my phone. I watch her check the time and look at me, "You have work, don't you?".
I nod my head, "Yes, but classes don't start till nine - I'll just be a few minutes late".
She doesn't say anything, instead bites her cheek and turns her head away to get up, She's still mad. My brows pull together, I sit up, grab her wrist and hold them to my chest which keeps her sat down and makes her gaze snap back to mine.
One hand now holds both of her wrists and I grasp her chin. "You can't just decide you are angry with me again after you came to me crying at almost four in the morning saying how bad you felt, this whole thing was ridiculous and I want this to be dropped in the next few minutes, understood?"
Victoria slightly flinches at my harsh and demanding tone, but still doesn't respond. Marcel lifts his head and looks up at us. Now, Victoria's brows furrow with a glare and her flipped hair falls into her face slightly. I give her the same look she gives me.
She refuses to respond, "I'll ask once more, is that understood?" I ask impatiently but she turns her head away, making me go from just holding her chin to harshly holding her jaw and forcing her to make eye contact with me "Hm?".
"Fine. Understood," She finally responds with an angry tone.
"Good. Go get dressed, please." I let go of her completely, She gets off my body and I watch her walk away.
A sigh leaves my lips, not an aggravated sigh, a sigh that was just disappointment in my words. I know Victoria will be upset and I never want that. I follow after her, putting Marcel outside before heading upstairs into the bedroom. She has the door closed to the wardrobe and I lean on the wall next to it.
After a few minutes, she steps out in her uniform, shoes in one hand, and gives me a side glance as she walks into the bathroom. I decide not to say anything yet and instead begin to dress myself in the wardrobe.
Once I'm done, I also go into the bathroom - standing next to her as I push toothpaste out onto my toothbrush, I glance over at her while she does her makeup with a mix of saddened and frustrated looks on her face.
I open my mouth but pause before speaking... then continue, "I'm sorry, ...I'm sorry I yelled at you".
She doesn't respond right away, I begin to brush my teeth and when I'm ready, I spit it into the sink and rinse my toothbrush, now beginning to do my hair. "That wasn't yelling" She finally says.
"I lectured" I reply and she shrugs, I place everything down and turn to her, "I'm truly sorry, What can I do for you - I'll do anything".
Victoria glances up at me and then back at the mirror to continue her makeup.
I sigh, grabbing her waist, turning her around and lifting her onto the counter, "I can't have you angry at me" and I kneel onto my knees and put my hands together in a prayer motion, "I beg".
Her cheeks glow a Scarlette colour but she looks away.
"Please, Vic," I beg, my hands now holding the edge of the counter next to her and I kiss her knees.
She finally gives in, turning back to me and making eye contact, "Okay, it's fine - I forgive you".
I Look up at her and then begin to kiss her thighs as I stand. Once fully up, I lean over her and gently hold her cheeks, "I didn't hurt you before, Did I?" I ask, referring to when I had grasped her jaw.
She shakes her head, "No, you didn't, it's okay".
"Good.." I kiss her cheek, "I'm sorry".
Victoria sighs, "You can't keep saying you're sorry it makes me feel guilty." I lean back and look her in the eye, my lips parting as I'm about to apologise again for apologising too much but quickly stop.
My finger runs up her chin, I give her one more quick kiss and walk downstairs to make a coffee. I stand by the counter in front of the coffee machine and watch it spill into my mug while I wait for Victoria.
I hear her step behind me and I turn with the mug in my hand and take a sip as I make eye contact with her. She had completed her makeup and now sits on the still that's pulled up to the kitchen bench. I quickly finish taking a sip and walk over to her, place my mug down and kneel on one knee in front of her - helping her with her shoes.
Slipping the shoe onto her foot, I tie her laces and do the other as well. Now standing again, I take one last big sip and hold my hand out for her, she takes it and steps off the stool onto the floor. My arm slithers around her waist as we walk out the front door, I open her car door for her and close it behind her.
I get into the car as well, starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway. Victoria sits with one foot on the seat - usually, I wouldn't have that but it's Victoria so she can - she slips back the mirror above her head and grabs the lip gloss from her pocket, applying it to her lips, then chucking it into the front part of the centre console.
"I'm going to Matt's today and like the whole weekend," she says, fixing her lip gloss at the corners.
"Why?" I asked since it was only Thursday "I wanted to have you to myself this weekend".
She grins, "He's mad at you, said you don't deserve to have me over the weekend whereas he and Noel do - besides, it's a thing we do sometimes".
I look at her for a second then back at the road, "He's mad at me?" I ask, amused.
"Yeah, because... of what I said last night about you" She explained, a little ashamed.
"Right" I nod, I had forgotten about that. "I don't think that affects me that much".
She shrugs, "It'll be so fun though, It's gonna be warm for the first time in ages and we're gonna swim." Her lips are curved into an excited grin. I immediately think of those photos I had seen before anything between us happened, I fight a smile and become a little flustered. "What?" She giggles.
I shake my head, "Nothing." I will forever keep that to myself, makes me sound like some perverted teacher.
"Tell me" She leans towards me.
I turn my head to her and at the road multiple times, "No".
"Why not? What are you hiding, Mister?" She asks, turning her whole body towards me.
"I'll never tell you," I shake my head at her again and she raises a brow, I grin in amusement, "Alright maybe I'll tell you one day but that's not today".
She presses her lips together, "Whatevs," sitting back in her seat. A smile perched up on my lips, the time was 9:08, making me eight minutes late. I turned into the school parking lot and parked the car, we left and walked beside each other into the main building. "I'll skip, I think people would get suspicious if we walked in hand-in-hand together" She looks up at me.
"Makes sense, I'll talk to you later, okay?" She nods her head and I slide my hand over her back, In case anyone is watching it wouldn't be something to look too deep into. I walk down a hall opposite her. Once I made it to my classroom, I mentally prepared myself for the questions before walking in.
The classroom was loud but went silent when they noticed I walked in. "I apologise for being late, everyone, there was a problem that had to be resolved" I explained, writing on the whiteboard immediately. I memorise my class plans for the week every Monday, I sometimes go over them the night before if I forget but that is rare. "Open your textbooks, page one-thirty-eight, please".
Everyone listens and does as told, opening their books and flipping to what I suspect is the right page. I begin to teach like I should've been ages ago. Maria sits at Victoria's table, gross. In the middle of explaining something, I notice her hand lift into the air.
"-Yes, Miss Fernez?" I pointed to her.
"Why were you so late, sir?" she asked.
I paused, "For reasons that don't concern you" and continued my lesson. It was a small amount of time until I sat at my desk while everyone did textbook work.
!! Perspective change !!
- Victoria Lawson -
I first go to my locker, chucking a few things into it and grabbing a pack of gum ( 5 gum blueberry rush no sugar if you were wondering ). I chewed on a piece, wandering around to find something to do. I decide to go into the library since I won't get yelled at if I get found - I'll just say I'm studying.
I sit down on the floor in a small corner, grab a book to slide my phone in and begin to scroll through my socials. I hear some footsteps, I close my phone off and slip it into my lap with the book over top - expecting the librarian to come over to me. I keep my eyes on the words in the book, I had grabbed what seemed a hard copy of 'The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window - Lorraine Hansberry'.
I liked the play because Oscar Isaac is in it.
However, the person turns into two sets of footsteps and a familiar voice speaks, "No way.." I look up to see Matt and Noel, Matt holds a iced coffee in his hand.
"Oh my god, what are you doing here guys? You should be in class." I shake my head sarcastically.
They sit down, "So are you".
"Nope, I'm studying" I hold up the book and begin reading out a line from the book "Don't you understand man? The slogans of capitulation can kill! Every time we say 'Live and let live' death triumphs! Too much has happened, too much has happened to me... That which warped and distorted all of us is all around... it is in this very air!" I read theatrically, waving my hand in the air and all.
We quietly laugh so as to not disturb anyone. "Very good" Matt nods. I place the book down and cross my legs, "So, what happened with you and him?" He asks taking a sip of his iced coffee.
I steal the plastic cup from his hand and take a sip, "Mh, I cried to him last night even though I was still mad at him and I showed him that when I woke up but yeah he 'lectured' me about it and then we made up".
"Jesus, seriously?" Noel asks, her brows furrowing at me.
"You're so submissive to him it's not funny" Matt rolls his eyes, and I shove him slightly.
"Just because you guys are mad at him doesn't mean I have to be, Besides, I exaggerated half the situation 'cause I was angry, I love him" I sit back against the wall behind me. They both give each other looks, making lovey-dovey faces and mocking me. I scoff, "Whatever, at least I'm not lonely and have someone who treats me right".
They both turn their heads to me, "Never speak again, cunt" Matt glares at me.
My brows raise, "Woah woah, big words, I was only joking". Noel giggles and we continue to conversate until it's time to go to the first break.
•••
Now being the last period, I sit with Robert in his classroom since he has a free period. He cleans up his desk and the board, preparing it for tomorrow. "So... do you have to go tonight?" Rob asks.
I smile, "Of course I do, they'll think I prefer you over them and I don't want that".
He looked down at some sheets of paper on his desk, raising his brows slightly as I spoke. He sighs, turning to me. "What will I do without you to entertain me?" He asks, stepping in front of me, he brushes pieces of my hair out of my face and places his hands beside my thighs.
My face feels hot to his touch, but I won't give in to him, "I don't know, you'll figure it out" I shrug.
His lips curve into a small downward smile, dimples and all, "Will I?" He asks, tilting his head slightly. I lean in, kissing his lips and sliding my hands onto his neck. Robert slides his hands up onto my back and my cheek.
We both lean back, "Yeah, you will" I reply finally.
He shakes his head with a chuckle, "Alright, fine, you win".
"I always do" I grin. He leans forward and kisses me again. We begin to get passionate, slipping our tongues around the others but it comes to a stop when the bell rings. "I gotta go" I hop down from the desk but quickly turn back around and give him one last kiss goodbye. Before he can say anything, I turn and leave.
I close the classroom door behind me, Matt and Noel already stand out the front of G3, knowing I would be coming out of there.
They both give me looks, then start to walk as a group, "Thought you were going to ignore him" Noel asks.
I sigh, shaking my head, "We've already been over this, I'm not gonna explain it to you again and I said that last night when I was mad, I'm not angry anymore".
Noel opens her mouth to say something but Matt nudges her, "Nah you know what, Vic, if you're happy with him I'm happy with him" He says, swinging his arm over my shoulder as we walk.
My lips pull into a grin, "Thank you" I kiss his cheek, and Matt responds by ruffling my hair slightly.
"Alright, whatever" Noel drags her words playfully.
It kind of pissed me off how she thought she had a say on Robert but she's dropping it now so I guess it's okay now... Matt had parked his car on the corner and we all got in, Me in the front beside Matt and Noel in the back.
We start our drive, having a normal conversation. Matt's parents were out again, that's another reason Matt invited us all over. This whole huge stay-over situation isn't irregular, We do it a lot because, obviously, it used to get out of the house away from my mum but even though I'm not with my mum anymore, gotta keep it up.
The quick five-minute drive ended, Matt pulled into his driveway and we all got out. "Dad said we - well I - could have some of the liquor in the liquor cabinet so we can drink without Victoria being assaulted".
I chuckle, "I can't remember one bit of that night, which is worrying - I only remember that part and that's it".
"Well, yeah I'm surprised you hadn't got alcohol poisoning" Noel giggles, placing her hands on my shoulders to jump forward and walk beside me.
"My god, it was really that bad?" I ask.
"One hundred per cent," Matt says, opening his bedroom door. Matt's room was messy but messy in a tidy way, He walked over to a locked drawer beside his bed and grabbed a key from the pocket in his shirt, unlocking it to reveal a rainbow of elf bars.
"My god Matt" I chuckle and he presses his index finger to his lips, shaking his head.
"Which one you want?" he asks Noel, knowing I carry mine in my bra.
They had a quick discussion on which one she should take while I searched through his dresser for my swimsuit, I left it here because I don't go swimming anywhere else. We aren't swimming today but I have to make sure he has it.
After a little while of searching, I found my black bikini, I have three in here, a black one, a white one and a baby pink one. I grin and chuck it on a chair for later so I don't have to do that search again. My body flops down onto the bed next to them and I pull the vape out of my bra, "I find vaping still really embarrassing, I cringe every time I pull it out" I mutter, taking a puff.
"Jesus, they've taken you back to the dark side" Matt towers over me, placing his hands on my cheeks.
I rolled my eyes, blowing it out in his face. I like doing that.
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Heyyyyyy! Sorry this took a while, I have been planning the next book that will be coming after this one is done as well as writing on here and reading fan fics and using character AI, so as you can see I've been quite busy xoxo
I love you all and Don't forget to vote!
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