Nandani POV
I spent the whole day collecting myself and penning down my thoughts that he wanted to read. I did not know where to start and where to end. What to write and what to miss?
In my classes, I have learnt that a physical relationship is much more than reproduction and enjoyment. Two people who get physically involved develop another level of understanding and when they open up their vulnerabilities in form clothes, they feel a new level of comfort among them.
I wanted to feel the same. Because, I always feared him in some ways, maybe because he was much older than me and he got this authoritative voice and the stories I have heard about him from the battlefields really sparks up my nerves.
I loved him but there was this insecurity in me for him. Like, he was handsome, mature and the most eligible bachelor. I wanted someone like him, always.
"What are you doing?"
I was startled by Suman's voice and I instantly wrapped the paper.
"Nothing,"
I said and she looked at me with thinned eyebrows.
"You look surprised,"
I sighed with shock and muttered.
"No, nothing... everything is fine,"
I tried to say and she saw me thinning her eyebrows.
"Okay, I am buying it,"
I plastered a smile on my face and nodded.
She left and I sighed taking a breath of peace. If she had asked then I would not have lied. She was my partner in crime and knew everything about me.
I focused back on writing down what Rudra had asked me, but I did not know what to write.
Honestly, I just wanted to feel him not precisely like sexually, but his touches on my hand, arms, and neck.
The thought alone was making me feel shivers around my body and this was it. It was the thing I only wanted.
I unfold the letter and started writing it down.
'My heart beats turns faster for you when my eyes capture you around me. I feel the sensations run through my body and settle down in the base of my spine whenever your lips spread looking at me. But deep down I feel they are not enough. I crave more, more than a smile, more than a light touch. Precisely the feeling of your fingers over my arms, around my neck somewhere like my feet.
I do not know what exactly I want but I am sure that I want something more than I actually have. I want you around me, your touch that will ignite the fire on my skin and shiver me to the bones that eventually sparks every inch of me.
I want you to see me, more than someone ever did. I want to see you more than someone ever did. I want us to close so that our breathing feels wild and warm on each other's cheeks, I want us to be one for once and for all.
That is it!'
I inhaled a deep breath finishing the letter and rolled back keeping it safe.
This was what I actually wanted. I wanted him more than anything. All those things that I wanted were only for him.
I stood up and looked outside the window to see what time it was. There would be an evening soon and if I wanted to meet him at the night. I had to finish my work early.
I hid the letter and went out to the kitchen. Giving the cooks the menu for dinner which especially included everything Rudra liked, I retired to meet my mother and grandmother.
We all gathered up after that in the dining hall where everyone seated.
I looked at Rudra and Abhinandan who were sitting together and seems like involved in a conversation. I sat beside my mother and grandmother. Opposite Rudra, Abhinandan and my father.
My grandfather was a great man who started the ritual of family dinners. Since then all men and women of a family have dinner together only. And, even close guests are involved too.
The attendees served the food and I looked at Rudra who was not even looking at me. They were talking and looking serious.
"Nandani,"
Suddenly my mother caught my attention and I looked at her.
"What happened? You look confused,"
She asked and I hesitantly shook my head.
"Nothing,"
I answered back and she thinned her eyebrows looking at me.
"Your father told me to ask you about the Swayamvar invitation. He is concerned about your wedding. I hope you remember that,"
She said and I inhaled a deep breath.
"Yes, I do,"
I said slowly.
"You rejected seven alliances and he is concerned to know what is going on in your mind. You are of age now and you should get married. Your education is completed and you are ready to wed,"
She said in a slow voice and then suddenly grandmother said.
"She is right, Nandani. Now, you must marry. You have rejected everyone in these two years and we do not know a valid reason for that,"
I looked at her and I did not know what to say. I could not lie and suddenly my heart starts beating fast.
"I will, mother, grandmother. I will get married. It's just I am nervous and waiting for the right man,"
They nodded and we all turned silent when the food was served and we were ready to eat.
Thankfully, everyone started eating and now no more questions for me.
But, I needed to talk to Rudra. I needed to know when he was going to my parents and asking for my hand.
I knew he was just the King's guard of King Surgami Dev Singh, who was his uncle. But, I was fine just being his wife. I did not want any titles and recognition. I have had them all my life and for social work you definitely did not need to be entitled, the emotion to work was enough.
I was trying to concentrate on the dinner and realised that he had not looked at me even once. He was so indulged in the dinner. Honestly, he was always like that. The proud disciplinaint. His timetable was fixed and he was known to be stuck on it. Always.
If he was eating then he was eating only if he was fighting then he was fighting only. Nothing else. Nothing could distract him. At all.
When we were done eating, we all retired to our chamber as usual. I had to take the bath before going to bed. And, yes I remember that I had to see him before going to bed.
I came back to my chamber and asked my attendees to prepare my bathing water. Until they were doing their business, I chose my clothes, which were of plain light colour. I unbraided my hair as I needed to wash them.
When they informed me about the work being done. I took a long and refreshing bath. They cleanse my hair and rubbed the paste on my arms and legs which also were helpful in removing body hair.
After the bath, they helped me dry my hair and I told them to go to sleep when they were done.
I was alone in my chamber and waiting for the roaming attendees to go to sleep. From my window, I looked at the attendees carrying fire torches to burn the fire torches and add oils to the lamp as it was their daily routine.
The night grew darker and the noises started fading. The silence took over and now was the time to sneak out of the chamber.
My heart was beating so fast that I could not tell. My fingers were trembling as I took out a nightgown that Ruhani once gave to me. She told me that she feels really comfortable in it and I really liked its design. It was a long gown from shoulder to feet which had strings in front of a huge volume as the skirt. Which I needed to wear it with the inner which was made of thin white cotton fabric, translucent precisely and loose and ends at my mid-thigh.
I changed into those clothes and covered my head with a dupatta. Taking the secret and less crowded way, I walked towards the guest chambers. I just did not want to get caught at all.
I went to the backside of his chamber and jumped inside through the window.
The magnificent aroma hit my nose instantly and I felt a shiver with it. The next thing I noticed was the slight brightness in the chamber.
I inhaled a deep breath and walked towards the middle part of the chamber where he usually sits.
I looked at his bed which was empty and untouched and I tried to look at the couches. My heart started to race as I could not find him.
Suddenly, I felt a warm presence behind me and two manly hands snaking around my waist from behind. The smell instantly made me realise who was it and my lips curved into a smile.
But, my smile soon converted into a blush and nervousness when I felt his lips closer to my earbud.
Feeling his wild and warm breaths around my ear, I gulped and he slowly asked.
"I asked you to write something for me. I hope you have done that assignment,"
I tried to nod lightly and he slowly turned me to look at him.
I gasped to look at his clothless chest and I started to blink nervously. His shoulders were wide, chest strong and puffy. His biceps were huge and his abs were hot.
He forwarded his hand asking for it and I gulped to pass him what I wrote.
He smiled a little looking at me and unrolled the letter in front of me.
I saw his eyeballs moving when his eyes were scanning the words I had written for him.
He sucked on his lips at the end and rolled the letter back.
He kept the letter on the side table and looked into my eyes.
Coming closer he stopped just an inch away from me and asked in a slow voice.
"Did you miss me?"
I nodded slowly.
"Do you want me to touch you?"
I nodded again.
"Words,"
He corrected and I muttered in a slow voice.
"Yes,"
"Where?"
He asked.
I gulped nervously and suddenly started feeling a shortage of vocabulary to form sentences.
"On my cheeks,"
I managed to say.
He cupped my cheek all of sudden and asked.
"Do you want to get married to me?"
I looked into his and thinned my eyebrows with the sudden question. But, the answer was always clear to me.
"Yes,"
I stated.
"You know, I cannot take you until we get married,"
"I know,"
I accepted.
"And, I do not have any home to give you, I do not know if I will take the throne or not. You still want to live with me?"
He asked.
And, my answer was still the same.
"Yes,"
"Why do you love me this much? And why me?"
He asked and I sucked on my lips and gulped to wet my drying-out throat.
"Because it's only you whom I ever imagined. In my sweetest of thoughts and in my wildest of dreams. And, no matter how much I try, I just cannot imagine those thoughts with someone else. It is impossible for me. I do not know what kind of love is this but this is what is true,"
I said and he held my arms to make me walk towards the dressing table.
He made me look at myself in the mirror and stood behind me. Looking into my eyes through the reflection of it he spoke.
"You are mine from now on and for always. But, you have to agree that it will be me only you will call your world, too, Agreed?"
He asked and I looked into those mystic eyes. There was a strong pull that was taking me into its attraction range and I nodded.
"Yes, I agree,"
I accepted and he turned me to look at him.
Suddenly, he cupped my cheek slowly and pushed me back against the dressing table. My hand immediately rested behind me on the table to support my weight and I looked into eyes.
His face was dangerously close to mine and he was looking into my eyes.
I felt his palm moving towards my hair bun and I blinked nervously as he pulled the hairpin out of my messy bun.
My long hair reached the table and I felt his fingers travelling down towards the strings of my gown.
And, he asked looking into my eyes.
"Are you sure?"
I looked back and nodded courageously.
"Yes,"
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