This is a two-part epilogue! Lol. The second part is still under construction since I'm in a bit heartbroken state right now
So basically, my inspiration and ideas were halted and I need to get over with the hurt.
Zoe's POV
5 years later
"I need those croissants Léon!" I barked orders to Léon, one of my pastry chef in french.
"Coming right up!" He shouted while taking out a fresh baked croissants from the oven.
"Jesus Christ! We have orders piling up!" I shouted for the whole room to be heard.
I was feeling frustrated with how the kitchen was moving. They were so lax on working when we are on the busiest time of the day.
Before I go on with my anger, I'm filing you in for the last few years that happened after I left New York.
I finally got what I really wanted from the start; to be a Pâtissier, Julien helped me with all I needed to start. From learning their language to studying how to be a Pâtissier.
He was my rock all through out my journey. He saw me at my lowest and he was there for me at my best. If he wasn't there for me, I would have been stuck from my past.
Julien walked with me when I was so scared with my life to move on. He caught me when I fall from the abyss of depression. I can never thank him enough and for that I love him to death.
As soon as I land in Paris, Julien settled me in a small quaint apartment just outside the bustling city of Paris. It was just a 30 minute drive to my work so it was very convenient. My apartment has a good view of french architecture, Julien really knows what I want; a good view of my favorite city in the world.
With the money that my family gave to me along with my savings, I studied to become a Pâtissier and train from different schools and nearby countries to expand my skills and knowledge. After I finish my study, Julien hired me to manage one his branch of Patisserie.
I really love my job, I do it with passion and hard work. All my co-workers knows to treat me with respect and they know that I'm strict with work because I want the best for my clienteles, that is why we are known in France because of our one of a kind sweets and bread.
"Mommyyyy!" A small shrieking holler, pit-pattering of steps and the banging of doors opening boomed through out the room making some of the chefs to stop momentarily with what they're doing to see what caused the commotion that got my attention too.
The voice that I know too well since he is also a part of me. A smile immediately crept up to my face and my heart burst from love and longing.
My baby boy
He was wearing a chef suit and red crocs with a toque on his head.
"How's my baby boy?" He attacked me by launching himself up to hug me really tight and showering me with slobbery kisses making me laugh.
"We paint in school and I ate ice cream with daddy, we cooked." He was blabbering how his day went without any breaks.
"That's sounds fun baby boy" I showered him with feathery light kisses of the cheeks.
"Mommy I'm not a baby" he said pouting his pink bow tie lips, he has a bit of a French accent.
"Yes you are and you'll be my baby boy forever" I was trying to hide my laugh while teasing him
He is so adorable when he is getting teased. His cheeks will turn into a shade of rosy pink, crossing his arms on his chest and pouting all together.
"Dadddyyyy!" He frustratedly shouts while looking at the kitchen door to open.
"Your mommy is right, you are going to be our baby boy forever" My rock for the past years entered the kitchen, acknowledging all of the chefs inside.
"I'm going to be like you daddy. I'm going to be a chef" he reached up for Julien and he circled his arms around his neck.
"Bet you are buddy" Julien removed his toque and ruffled his brown curly hair.
"What did I say Theo?" I gave him a scolding look but not enough to scare him off.
"Speak english" he gave me a toothy smile so he can get away with it which was effective.
I can't resist him.
They proceed to play with each other in the kitchen, disrupting my work.
"Julien Atkins and Theo Gabriel Taylor!" I growled to catch their attention.
They both look at each other, Julien was making the "Uh-oh" face to Theo and he giggled covering his giggle with his two small hands.
"Are you going to help or not?" I asked them both and they nodded out of sheer fear because they both know not to mess up with me in the kitchen.
"Go and serve the customers" I shooed them away and went back to my pending work.
"If you are always frowning like that you'll scare away our customers and we'll go out of business pretty soon. Loosen up a bit, the kitchen is under control now" he whispered to my ears and I scowled at him.
"Theo give your mommy a kiss before we go to work" Julien hold Theo near me so he can scoot to kiss my cheeks making me relaxed from all the stress.
After Theo gave me a kiss, Julien put him down and he ran out the room so he can help Adele to wrap up the customer's purchases, his small figure disappeared from the swinging doors.
"Mom will babysit Theo for tonight so we can have a small party with our friends" His deep husky voice rang through my head and our closeness making me smile.
He kissed my cheeks lovingly before he roared laughing, walking away from me making me blush. He always does that.
Another surprise from my ever colorful life..
Yes, you read it right. My 4 year old son's name is Theo Gabriel Taylor
He is my second angel.
God gave me another human being to cherish and love unconditionally in this world after I had a stillbirth with my first.
He is my son with Max.
I got Theo's name from Max. Maximus Theodore Taylor and gave him his dada's last name, I'm not that of a huge selfish person.
I decided not to tell him because of the trauma that I got after the accident. I know I'm at fault here but I don't want to have a repeat of the past, I don't want to lose anything this time.
I found out I'm pregnant again when I was on my breaking point, 4 months after I left New York.
It was in the middle of the wee hours of morning when I was awaken by the churning of my stomach at first I though it was a food poison or the depression but it went on and on, that is when a bucket of ice cold water was poured on me, I froze to where I was sitting, I knew then on that I was experiencing the symptoms of being pregnant again, returning me to my senses, I took a test and it was confirmed positive.
I was sweating bullets and I was cold all over my body when Julien and I went for a check-up. The doctor happily informed us that I was almost 4 months pregnant and I was so shocked that I almost passed out in front of my doctor but with Julien's strength and support, I slowly accepted the fact that I'm pregnant again with Max's baby.
It was of mixed emotion but it was more on the negative side; I was scared and nervous borderline to have anxiety attacks.
The doctor advised me with a strict prenatal plan, I was on house arrest for the entirety of my pregnancy because my situation was delicate that any heavy to mundane activity might send me to miscarriage again.
My body was so weak and frail that time because of my depression so I have to continuously drink vitamins and eating healthy again to supply my body with needed nutrition for my baby.
I was also having nightmares and anxiety attacks every night that's why I moved in with Julien, The day of the accident was so vivid in the dreams that I have, it was like I was there to experience it every single night, resulting to an almost miscarriage with Theo when he was seven months inside me, but with Julien's help and constant guidance, the doctors were able to save the both of us.
The feeling when I almost miscarried Theo was with pure horror and worry, it was happening once again. The day where I lost his big brother when he was also seven months old. I prayed for us to be saved and God granted my prayers.
At first I was scared and surprised that I don't feel anything for the baby that is growing inside of me. My body feels robotic where I will eat and sleep just for the baby but when Theo came out to this world, I was in awe and all the love in the world came back to me as soon as he opened his eyes; the same exact ocean blue eyes of his dada.
The man that I will always and forever love.
Theo was the replica of Max, all of it he inherited it from his daddy, all he got from me was a mop of curly brown hair. Even his attitude and temper, they were so alike.
Theo is currently attending preschool and both knows french and english but he prefers to speak french, I have a rule that when he's in front of his family especially to his gran and great gramps and great gran he has to speak english, but Julien who spoils him to death, speaks to him in french all the time.
He was a fast learner and a smart one too that is why his teacher was making him skip a grade but I want him to experience a normal schooling.
He really loves to cook and explore the kitchen that's why I let him in the kitchen or the service counter to learn more about his passion and sometimes he's so curious for a kid like him.
Don't get me wrong, Theo knows his daddy Max, he calls him Da-da and he loves him as equally as Julien even though I said that he was busy with work that's why he can't come here. He also knows that Julien is his uncle but he stomps his feet and crossed his arms on his chest and says that Julien is his only daddy in french whenever I tried to correct him it was followed by a tantrum with "Julien is my daddy" and "I love him" phrases.
He loves Julien to death and Julien also, they are always together sometimes making me a bit jealous because the bond between the two. He picks him up at school and there to tuck him into the bed. He took the role of being his daddy to help me while I was still getting back on my own feet.
"Zoe, the orders are up" the sound of the bell snapped me back to my senses and I looked at the person who talked, it was my assistant chef Arnaud.
I smile and took the tray of lavender french macarons. "This is our last batch and we'll clean up" I said to the staffs and they all nodded.
I pushed the swinging door and a bustling area surprised me. People where lined up buying the last batch of pastries. Some where still seated eating our pastries or food from Julien's restaurant that was connected to mine.
It warms my heart to see what I have achieved right now. I started from nothing now here I am having an uprising store and a loving and supportive family.
"What are you smiling about? You are one creepy chick" Julien was suddenly at my back and he circled his arm over my waist.
"It still feel surreal, I came here mourning for my lost child now I have Theo, my second chance on living my life again, I have you and my family pulling me up from my depression and now I have this store and wonderful staff where I can pour my passion. I'm still in cloud nine" I said in a dreamy tone.
"I can't thank you enough" I turned to face him, tipping my toes so we are on the same level and circled my arms around his neck.
"I love you and you're one of the best things that ever happened to me" I whispered and kissed his side jaw.
I can't help but to shed a few tears and Julien pulled away to cup my cheeks.
"And I love you too" he kissed the tip of my nose.
"Well, you can thank me by cooking for tonight's dinner party" he beamed me a smile to lessen the sudden gloomy atmosphere.
"I would love too but you do the cleanup and I'm in dire need of a massage. Deal?" I thrust my hand forward and he shook it.
"Consider it as a deal" he laughed and we went back to our work.
---------------------------------------------------
"All locked up?" I asked Adele and she nodded while locking the front door.
It was already our closing time and Theo was already asleep on Julien's arms. I spotted Julien's parents were already approaching us.
"Here's our baby boy" Patricia, who she insist of me calling her mom, was already snatching Theo away from Julien.
"Mom, careful you'll wake him. You know how it gets" I reminded mom, who sometimes gets so energetic every time she sees Theo.
"Shush! I know my grand baby too well. Now have fun with your night" Mom was carrying Theo inside the car, strapping him in his car seat. After a few minutes they drive away from the store.
"Let's go home" He entwined his hand on mine and pulled me gently towards the car.
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We reached the apartment in a matter of seconds and as soon as we entered the house, I started to cook for tonight's gathering but Julien loves me too much, he helped in the kitchen, finishing most of the food.
After all the dishes were served on table, we took a quick shower to freshen up, of course separately and dressed in a pitstop seconds.
We heard the doorbell ring and I rushed to open the doors, a wide smile flashed on my face.
"I missed you Z!" A very pregnant Kylie attacked me with a hug, I chuckled when I felt her bump.
"What so funny?" She placed her hand on her hips and gave me a quizzical look.
"You've gotten this.." I didn't finished my sentence but I gestured that she's getting bigger.
"I know right, this guy" gesturing to her husband Ethan, who was at her back holding two bottles of Pinot on both hands.
"Keeps smothering me with food. He treats me like a pot bellied pig" She said irritated and I looked back at Ethan shrugging his shoulders like he can't stop it.
"I know how you feeling right now. Julien was like that to me and I go crazy about it" I said and we both giggled.
"I heard my name Angel, why don't you continue your chat in here so I can't tell how great I am right now" Julien was peeking through the hallway and his voice echoes throughout.
After hugging Ethan, we walked to the dinning room. Julien greeted them and we all settled in our seats.
Julien and Ethan placed all the dishes on the table, making us all hungry. After fixing the table, Julien sat beside me while Ethan and Kylie was in front of us.
"Where's Andrei?" I asked while Julien was putting food in my plate.
"Home and this crazy chick here cried throughout the whole flight, luckily we were using the jet or else they will thought I was abusing my wife" Ethan laughed while pointing to Kylie discreetly.
"It's my first time to leave our baby with my parents and I'm pregnant. I can't help it" Kylie smacked Ethan's arm playfully and Ethan placed a soft kiss on her lips, they were both smiling and loved up.
My heart constricted, I felt jealous seeing them like that. When will be my turn to have something like that?
"Oh hell no! You started without us?" Patrick's voice boomed around the room causing all of us to turn to his direction.
I raced towards them, pulling them in a hug.
"When did you get here? I thought you are coming here next week?" I said and they grinned.
"Because.." Tia was bobbing her eyebrows playfully and raising the back of her left hand.
A ring with a big Sapphire stone surrounded with small diamonds around it and the band was situated on her ring finger, it was like an asteroid fell on her finger, that was just an exaggeration.
"Holy shit! You are getting married" I squealed and jumping up and down from the excitement.
"Hell yeah! This bitch is getting hitched" She said shaking her hands upward.
"Congratulations!" Kylie who stood up while holding her bump and we hugged Tia.
"Enough with the sappy moment and let's eat. The boys are hungry" Ethan whined and the girls glared at him.
The dinner was really fun and we had a lot of catching up in our lives.
Tia was currently engaged to Aiden Moore, shockers right? They met when Tia was assigned to pull out some wardrobes for Aidan for a photoshoot and one thing led to another well more like a romp in the maintenance room. They are together for 3 years already and now they are getting married.
We all can't believed it, Aidan was more of a ladies man as well as Tia who can get any man's attention effortlessly but when fate brought them together, they all go protective and territorial on each other.
A match made in heaven.
I felt arm circled around my shoulder, ending my thoughts. I looked up under my lashes and it was Julien, who was looking at me in bewilderment.
"Penny for your thoughts" Julien asked smiling as he squeezed my arm encouragingly.
"I'm just thinking if we are all packed for the trip" I gave him a smile just to keep if from not worrying over me.
"You just did a double check-up on our things so stop worrying" he said and I nodded to end the conversation subtly.
"Can you just two be together again? You both look adorable" Patrick chimed in and we both looked at him, blushing.
"Can you stop teasing them?" Kylie swatted Patrick's arm lightly and Patrick faked a hurt expression.
The dinner continued until the night was getting late, Tia and Patrick went back to their hotel while Kylie and Ethan went back to their own apartment in the city.
We cleaned up in a bit awkward silence just because of a tease. I pondered on that thought.
Why can't it be Julien?
Why can't I move on from all of it?
I tried really hard to forget him but it was inevitable, my heart always steers back to him.
Julien and I dated a couple of years back. There were the sparks between the two of us, it was undeniable but something was missing between us and we both can pinpoint it; our hearts will be never as one.
When we realized that we can't fill the gap, we decided to be friends. We were civil about it because we have the mutual decision.
His touch, warmth, caresses and kisses were different. He was amazing in everything but in the end he wasn't Max. I will always stare at the ceiling and my thoughts will be all about Max.
My world revolves around him no matter what.
My head says no but my heart still steers to him.
The night ended with us enjoying a night cap and movie, as soon as we are in the middle of the movie we were lulled to sleep.
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"Wake up Angel, we are going to miss our flight" I felt a warm hand shaking me lightly, I grumbled as I know it was a weekend that day.
"Mommy get up" I heard my son's whining at a distance.
I grumbled and slow peeled my eyes opened, Julien and Theo was all dressed up for the trip and I was still groggy from my sleep.
"Good morning Angel" Julien kissed my forehead before pulling the sheets away from me.
"Good morning mommy!" Theo jumped at me and started to shower me with kisses and giggles.
"Good morning to my favorite boys in the world" I smiled but still my eyes are half closed.
"Go take a shower and eat your breakfast, All the suitcase are in the foyer" I heard his voice fading as he walked away from the room.
"Can't wait to see grams and gramps and uncle jim" Theo continued with his blabber while jumping on my bed.
"Yes baby, me too" I kissed his cheeks and he ran away screaming for Julien.
I swivel my body till my foot reaches on the carpeted floor, I slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom.
I showered peacefully and dressed in my most comfortable clothes, jeans and a nautical long sleeved shirt paired with a comfortable ballet flats.
I put on some make up and comb my hair, swiping my bangs on the side.
I grabbed my carry-on purse for the flight and checked for their passports since I'm the only one who is not forgetful in the family.
Walking to the kitchen, Julien and Theo were having their own conversation about the cartoons on the screen. I walked to the table and kissed their heads.
"Ready for the trip?" Julien asked with concern on his face.
"Yeah, I'm ready" I nodded and we ate our breakfast with the loudness that I've grown accustomed to.
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"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to JFK International Airport" I woke up as I felt a planted kiss on my temple, I opened my eyes and the captain of the plane was ending his announcement and turning my head on my left, Julien was smiling and seated next to him was Theo who was busy munching on his snack.
"We're here" He greeted while fastening my seatbelt.
My heart was racing wildly as we are about to land. I felt the excitement as well as the sadness of being back to New York. Memories where flooding back again in my mind, all the good and mostly the tragic ones.
We landed after a few minutes, it was already evening when we reached New York. I felt jet lagged, actually all of us were.
"Back to New York atlast" Julien said as he was taking care of our luggages and Theo.
"Yeah, let me take care of Theo" I said dodging further conversation while packing away some of his stuff.
We passed by the immigration and got all of our remaining luggages. We saw our chauffeur already waiting for us in the departure area of the airport.
A man in his 40's and wearing a dark blue suit assisted us in our luggages and drive us to our hotel.
We reached our hotel very quickly and we all settled in one room because we were so tired from the flight. We just changed our clothes and plopped down to sleep together.
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Don't give up yet! There is still another chapter where everything will be revealed.
Happy ending or not?