Kosovo: Yea, we don't really spend a lot of time together since I'm used to hanging out more with the Yugoslavs. But I guess it'd be fun!
(Sunday morning, 4 a.m., Albania's house)
Kosovo: Wake up ndyrë (f*cker)!
Albania: *middle finger* It's Sunday, even God doesn't work on Sunday!
Kosovo: But we do! C'mon, we're spending the day together!
Albania: Ew.
Kosovo: Ew? That's your reaction?
Albania: I don't wanna be seen with a half-country, I have a reputation!
Kosovo: Yeah, I don't see it.
Albania: What do I get from hanging out with you?
Kosovo: Love, a good day, friends, exercise...
Albania: ...
Kosovo: A sunny day, affection, happiness... What are you looking at?
Albania: ...
Kosovo: ... Bro...
Albania: ...
Kosovo: You get 5000 Lek.
Albania: Now we're talking!
Kosovo: Ugh, I'll have to go to the bank then, I mostly only got Euros.
Albania: How the f*ck you got Euros, you're not even a part of the Eurozone, let alone the EU!
Kosovo: Magic and ✨Deutsche Mark✨ (✨German Mark✨).
Albania: Weirdo.
Kosovo: Now go get dressed, we'll have so much fun today!
Albania: God, kill me.
Albania: ...
Albania: See, there is no God.
(A while later)
Albania: Okay, I'm ready, I just need breakfast.
Kosovo: No, where we're going you won't need food!
Albania: Where are we even going?
Kosovo: Somewhere awesome, it's an outdoor thing, you're gonna love it.
Albania: Outdoor? It's outside? Like, where people are at?
Kosovo: Of course! Society! Isn't it great?
Albania: People? Society? Disgusting!
Kosovo: Disgusting? You're a country, your entire existence is connected to people!
Albania: Your existence is connected to Serbia and you don't seem like besties either.
Kosovo: F*ck you too.
(A while later)
Albania: It's 5 in the morning, what cool stuff are open at 5 in the f*cking morning?
Kosovo: Easy answer, things that normally open at 9 am, but are a few countries away.
Albania: Excuse me?! Not only do you wake me up at the most ungodly hour of the night-
Kosovo: Aren't you an atheist state though? Shouldn't you be happy?
Albania: -then you drag me out WITHOUT breakfast and now, at 5 in the goddamn morning, you want me to go with you God knows where-
Kosovo: For an Atheist, you curse over God a lot.
Albania: You're literally Slavic! You curse God in every possible way by default.
Kosovo: I'm partially Slavic, the other half comes from a hell called Albania.
Albania: Hey! It's "Supreme Hell" for you!
Kosovo: So, like, you gonna drive or we call a taxi?
Albania: What?
Kosovo: I'm 12, a**hole, you think I can drive?
Albania: Your plan was for me to also drive you there?!
Kosovo: Yeah, you got it pretty on spot.
Albania: I will hate you forever! *sighs*
Kosovo: ...
Albania: What are you staring at, kari (d*ck), pass me the car keys.
(8 am, even god doesn't know where)
Albania: Why? Why are you the way you are?
Kosovo: My father is Yugoslavia.
Albania: Yeah, understandable.
Kosovo: At least I have an excuse. What's yours?
Albania: I live next to your family, though the years some of that craziness rubs on everyone, even me.
Kosovo: Fair.
Albania: Is breakfast anywhere near?
Kosovo: Oh yeah, I forgot! *takes some sandwiches from the backpack* Here ya go!
Albania: You disappoint me... A lot.
Kosovo: Not as much as you do everyone else.
Albania: It's not even the good cheese!
(9 am, parking lot)
Albania: Kos...
Kosovo: Yeah?
Albania: That... is a Paintball arena.
Kosovo: I know, I thought you liked shooting. That's the only thing I can reserve with my age, apparently my gun licence isn't valid.
Albania: That's because your "gun licence" was written by Ame on my behalf for your birthday.
Kosovo: It's not real?!
Albania: It's illegal, actually, but Yugo thought it'll be a good excuse to get you some firearms. As much as he hated USA with its "gun freedom", he likes his guns more.
Kosovo: *sobbing* What else is a lie?! What else?!
Albania: Well, you know how 'Kosovo is Kosovo'?
Kosovo: Yeah?
Albania: Actually, 'Kosovo is Albania'.
Kosovo: I f*cking hate you.
Albania: I know. Shall we go home?
Kosovo: No way, you bir kurve! (son of a b*tch!) I payed for it, we're gonna go in it and you're gonna enjoy it!
Albania: Dream on, Kosoves (Kosovo).
(In the arena, mid-game)
Kosovo: Alba, on your right!
Albania: *cool army roll on the ground, paintball missing him* Ha, you suck, bushter! (b*tch!) *shoots the kid* 'Sovo, duck!
Kosovo: *ducks*
Albania: *Shooting the kid over Kosovo* Ik qiu! (Go f*ck yourself!)
Kosovo: Shqipëri (Albania), slow down a little, they're children.
Albania: Kujt po I rruhet? (Who gives a f*ck?)
Kosovo: Vëlla (Brother), you are technically 111 years old.
Albania: 112! Had my birthday on the 28th of November, don't forget that!
Kosovo: Grandpa.
Albania: *shoots another kid from a distance* And a hella cool one at that!
Kosovo: Please, you think that shot was cool?
Albania: Can you do better?
Kosovo: See that kid over there, about a hundred metres away?
Albania: Yeah?
Kosovo: Watch this. *shoots and hits the kid in the chest*
Albania: *clapping* Very nice, but that's nothing.
Kosovo: Go on, old man, show me what you got!
Albania: *turns around and bends backwards*
Kosovo: Gymnastics? C'mon, even Greece can do that!
Albania: *prepares gun, shoots a kid from far away* Te qifsha, kurve! (F*ck you, b*tch!)
Kosovo: Impressive, but-
Albania: Challenging me?
Kosovo: I wouldn't say challenging, rather beating you.
Albania: Oh, it's on!
(A whole lot of shooting and competing later)
Albania: *panting* How many players still?
Kosovo: Two plus us, I think.
Albania: Wanna team up?
Kosovo: Aren't you afraid for your reputation?
Albania: Nah, I wanna win.
Kosovo: Alright, they're both hiding next to the broken shed. We can make a surprise attack.
Albania: Cool.
Kosovo: Ah, I see one outside right now! I think they're a team, too.
Albania: How about we go distraction on that one and and attack on the other?
Kosovo: Sure, you distract, I attack, got it?
Albania: Yup, now go, budall (fool).
Albania: *shoots a paintball near the kid, making them run away*
Kosovo: *running in the shed, starts shooting uncontrollably*
Kosovo: *hits the kid in the shed probably 15 times* Te qifsha, bythec! (F*ck you, little brat!)
Albania: And I've got the other dreq (devil). *shoots, hits the first kid*
Kosovo: We won! We won! We- AU! You shoot me?!
Albania: There can only be one winner. I said I'll win!
Kosovo: *falls to the ground* Betrayed! By my own brother, no less!
Albania: Get up, drama queen.
Kosovo: I-I can see... The white light...
Albania: Bro, that's the sun.
Kosovo: You sure?
Albania: Yeah, now c'mon, I have to get my prize!
Kosovo: The prize is literally just a small trophy coloured in gold.
Albania: Still a prize!
(On the drive home)
Albania: Okay, we should arrive in 2 hours.
Kosovo: *barely awake* That's good.
Albania: When will I be getting payed for this?
Kosovo: You still want money?
Albania: Gas is expensive, idiot, and I just used way to much!
Kosovo: Fine, I'll get it tomorrow, I'm too tired.
Albania: Imagine me, I still have to drive back.
Kosovo: Stop at a gas station and get an energy drink, unë nuk bëj një dreq (I don't give a f*ck).
(At the gas station)
Albania: Got myself some Red Bull, and for you a Pepsi- Did you fall asleep?!
Kosovo: *sleeping*
Albania: With who am I supposed to argue now on the way home?!
Kosovo: *still asleep*
Albania: Ugh! *starts driving*
Albania: ...
Albania: ...
Albania: ...
Albania: You know, maybe it wasn't such a sh*tty day after all...
Kosovo: *sleeping*
Albania: You weren't as annoying as usual, surprisingly. I might even say... I...
Kosovo: *sleeping*
Albania: ... I enjoyed spending time with you.
Kosovo: Does that mean I still have to pay you?
Albania: Of course, you ndyrë (f*cker)!
Kosovo: Dammit!
Albania: *silence*
Kosovo: *silence*
Kosovo: ... You know, I liked today as well. We should do this more often.
Albania: Yeah, we should.
T-rex_lover: Aw, ending this on a sweet note!
Amber~Koral: Lovely, indeed.