My hair was still straightened from last nights sit down with the mob. I left it be and threw on some casual wear for the casting I have this afternoon. It's nothing too special. It's for a clothing ad, but it's work and it pays even if it doesn't pay as much as I wish it did.
I texted Anthony this morning asking if we could talk. I felt like too much was left unsaid and if I'm going to be around more I think it's something we should acknowledge and put a proper end to. I just feel so strange about the whole damn thing.
Anyways, he agreed to it, so he's sneaking into the building my casting is hosted in and hopefully we can talk without Boris intervening.
He's waiting in the car just outside the building like he usually does when I'm at work, but with Vitaly here who knows how much tighter security will be now.
I'm hoping this works in our favor. If not, and we do get caught, I'll have to make up a lie to get him and I both outta this. And I know what I'll say too. Chloe's at this same casting and if someone shows up I'll tell them it's her Anthony came here to see.
He can say he's hooking up with her. I'm sure his reputation could back up the claim.
Most castings go the same way. There is a room or a hall full of girls and we all wait around for our name to be called, then we get sent into a room and there are strangers behind a table or standing beside some clothing racks or whatever else it is.
Those people tell you what they're looking for and sometimes change you into their clothes, etc to see how you'd fit the image. You walk for them, turn angles, pose for them, whatever.
Their judgy eyes stare at you until they're finished with you and then your dismissed."We'll give you a call back" they tell you, and that means you may or may not have gotten the gig.
And that's what I did today and I was finished by 2pm as I predicted I would be.
That's when I went into a vacant stairwell to wait for Anthony, between floors 3 and 4. I texted him that. He said he's sneaking in through the back. Should my life be this way? Full of secrets, lies, and sneaking around. No. It shouldn't. But it is.
For the past three years this has become my new norm. I guess it started somewhat earlier than that because I couldn't speak on my past and I was careful about social media and those things.
Mom told me it was best at the time. But my life was nothing like this when she was still around. There is no more living in the Now. I plan ahead for everything. I anticipate all outcomes. I think and over think.
"Lexi" I heard the deep voice call my name from a flight of stairs below me. I leaned over the rail and waved him up a floor. As soon as our eyes caught one another's I felt suddenly unsure. I lied to him about a lot. I feel awkward addressing what must be addressed.
Anthony took a second just to look at me without saying a word. I finally sighed and spoke first.
"So this was quite unexpected" was my brilliant opening line to this discussion. I watched him swipe his hand down his jaw. No bruised knuckles this time, but now that I know who he is I'm even more curious what brought those on.
Mob fight? What does Anthony Rizzo do in his day to day life? I wonder.
"You think? You lied to me Lexi. A lot" he called me out first thing. His voice wasn't harsh, but it still chaffed. I nodded in acknowledgment to that truth. "I mean, Christ, you're so young. You made it seem like..." he trailed off. Again I nodded in acknowledgement.
"It's not like I'm a minor" was my only defense and what a weak one it is. Anthony scoffed, rightfully so.
"No, but I'm 27 years old. I feel weird about it. I don't know, I thought you might be 22 or around there. Four or five years sounded less horrible in my mind at the time. But 7 years...Not to mention you being the daughter of the Bratva fucking mob boss. Do you know what'll happen to me if that truth comes out??"
"I know, Anthony. Trust me, I know the consequences of that information coming out. And it won't. You have my word that I won't tell a single soul about it" I promised him honestly.
He scratched his chin and it made a nice scruffing sound. He looked good right now. A fitted white tee and dark wash jeans. Simple but hot.
"Lexi, you gotta tell me. Were you...a virgin when we..." he trailed off. I cringed at the question. I hoped he wouldn't ask that one. By my expression he knew his answer though. His warm hazel eyes widened and almost darkened a shade.
"Fuck" he cursed under his breath and fisted his hair. Thick, wavy, dark. It's handsome hair if that makes any sense.
"How could you let me fuck you that way when it was your first time?! You told me you'd done it before. I feel like a damn prick for fucking you as hard as I did" he shook his head. I rolled my eyes.
"What does it matter? If I was okay with it why did you need to be privy to that information? You're reacting by society's standards. I wasn't deflowered, Anthony. That's not how I viewed it. And you know why I did it? Because I didn't want my dick of a father or my asshole brothers to have a say in who I gave that part of myself to. I hold little control in this situation, but I at least had that" I looked him dead on. His eyes shifted away.
For a second Anthony almost looked as though he pitied me and my situation and I couldn't stand it. I don't want his pity. Not from him. I held my head up high and didn't shy away from the truth I have to own.
"Don't look at me like that. It is what it is. At least I got to screw a hot guy. One that knows what he's doing. I thoroughly enjoyed it" I gave him his praise. Our eyes lingered on one another's for a second.
"Is that why you canceled on me at the last minute the other night? Because your father was coming? Were you planning on ghosting me or what?" He asked me. I couldn't read his mood or his thoughts. He slowly turned to stone and his face was too smoothed over for me to know for sure.
"Yes. My bodyguard caught me trying to leave. I had to cancel. And yeah, I guess I knew our encounters had an expiration date. You wanted casual. I didn't think you'd mind very much" I shrugged.
Anthony licked his lips and nodded in thought.
"You had a bodyguard that whole time?" He asked me, ignoring the other part. "Yes, but I evaded him all those times. He knows nothing about you and I" I assured him.
Anthony leaned his ass onto the railing that curved from the landing to the flight of stairs leading down. He crossed his arms and the bulk of his muscles were more visible to me because of it. Damn him for looking so good.
"I don't want to marry your cousin" I finally filled the thick tension between us. He chuckled, but with little amusement.
"Yeah, then there's that," was all he said about it.
"I have a complicated backstory. It's not something one talks about over drinks with a hot stranger. You lied too, you know. You called yourself a businessman who boxes," I called him out. He arched a dark brow at me.
"I am a businessman who boxes" he crossed his ankles now. My eyes couldn't help checking him out from head to toe. How am I gonna be around this guy and not wanna touch him? Honestly, this is going to be a shitshow.
"Bullshit" I retorted.
"Just because I'm in the mob doesn't mean I don't do business. I do plenty of business. And I do boxing in a sense. I run a fight club" he deadpanned. I snorted but was surprised when he remained serious.
"You're telling me you pulled a Brad Pitt and created a fight club? In real life? And when I met you I just so happened to be reading the book 'Fight Club', is that what you're telling me?" I asked him.
The twisted fate between Anthony and myself is something else. I'd call it serendipity if it wasn't so tragic.
"Yeah, I found it rather amusing. So, Aleksandra, what are we gonna do about all this?" Anthony remained pretty sober about it all. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
I know I feel some type of way about it, but maybe he doesn't at all. It irked me when he addressed me by my real name though.
"It's Lexi. And I don't know Rizzo, what is there to do about it?" I asked him back. Anthony pushed off the railing he'd been leaning on and he was suddenly towering me with his full height in front of me this way.
He's tall enough for me to have to tip my head back slightly to maintain eye contact. For a second it felt like his eyes were searching mine. What's he looking for?
"Well, sweetheart, I guess we forget about each other" his smooth tone surfaced this time. Something fluttered in my chest at his pet name I happened to enjoy. Anthony thought for a second and cleared his throat.
"I probably shouldn't call you sweetheart unless I want my balls clipped by the Russians" he tried to chuckle, but I don't buy it. This kinda blows. "For starters, sure" I shrugged it off. Again we stayed looking at each other.
The air was thickening with some unspoken emotion, and I was very aware of his proximity. Firm chest, nice arms, proud muscled shoulders. Shapely soft lips, warm inviting eyes, and a troublemaker's smirk.
"So forget me then" I finally had to break the crushing silence. Anthony licked his lips and dropped his eyes down to my mouth.
"You're so young, so inexperienced, so taken and by my cousin at that. You're also Bratva royalty. All good reasons to forget you" his voice was almost strained though I don't know why. Maybe because he's fighting this physical tension as much as I am.
I opened my mouth to say something clever. I don't even know what, but I was going to make a retort until Anthony was suddenly fisting my hair.
I gasped when he rushed forward, knocking my back into the wall when his lips crashed against mine. I didn't hesitate to fist his shirt and keep him pressed against me. We were both breathing heavily and kissing relentlessly. It was intense, grabbing at each other the way we were.
My hands slipped under the hem of his shirt just to feel his flesh one last time. Warm, smooth, taut with muscles. Anthony groaned, deepening the kiss.
His large fist in my hair kept my face where he wanted me. It felt good. It looked hot. Time stopped for us briefly in that vacant stairwell. But it was over after however long. Until our lungs couldn't take it anymore.
Both of our chests moved rapidly. Our faces lingered close. His large hand released the nape of my neck, but his other hand stayed gripping my waist, keeping me against him.
Our eyes searched one another's. We both knew what this was. One last kiss. I tried to memorize it. "I don't really know what to say before I walk off," he admitted to me.
"Are you expecting an epicly clever last line from me?" I teased him. His smirk reminded me of that very first day while I was sitting in the grass looking up at the man in the sharp suit. He found me to be funny and sort of a smart ass. I think that's how he put it.
"Kind of, yeah" he shrugged. I had nothing epic to tell him, but I figured there needs to be a parting word either way.
Saying bye was silly because I know for a fact I will see him again. Just as passing strangers next time.
"It was a pleasure to never meet you" I told him, licking my lips to savor his taste, then I turned around and walked out the exit door leading to the fourth floor. I didn't look back.