"Brown guilty eyes, little white lies"
NAOMI'S POV:
I have so many thoughts running through my head due to the events of the last few days.
And I mean... a lot has happened. Obviously everything with Harry... But also my job. I went in for work at Beachwood yesterday finally since I was feeling better. As Josh and I were serving drinks Harry came in to get a coffee and a croissant. It wasn't that busy in the cafe, so we started to talk. He was in a great mood. Not even two minutes later it was a disaster.
His fans started filling the place up and he thank god was able to get out of there in one piece. We thought everyone would leave once Harry was gone. But they didn't. They went for me instead. They all started yelling at me for pictures and were asking so many questions. They were driving away all of our actual customers. My boss Robert had me leave for the day and he was able to get them out.
I cake into work this morning, thinking it was no big deal. Josh wasn't there this morning so it was just me by myself at the counter, and Robert was in the back. An hour into my shift, the place started filling up with fans again.
Robert called me to the back, got them all out, and then he had to fire me. I guess he wanted to fire me when it first happened, but he decided to give it another shot. But when it happened the second time... He knew I couldn't stay. I will keep ruining business if I stay.
I was and am devastated. That job is most of my income. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I have some time to figure it out but... Still.
I have so much to be thinking about right now.
And the thing is... Even though my mind is crowded with thoughts. My decision is clear for one thing.
I have invited Josh over to talk. I wanna spend all afternoon and evening with him... so I can compare.
I'm not going to compare he and Harry as people, but I will compare how I feel when I'm around them.
I want to give him a chance. He really is a great guy. I want to give him another opportunity to show me why we started dating in the first place.
Because... At the end of the day, yeah he's my boyfriend. But he's also one of my best friends.
I can't just break up with him because I feel chemistry with Harry.
Josh and I have history.
He should be here any minute, so I need to finish getting dressed pretty fast.
NAOMI'S OUTFIT:
I didn't put on that great of an outfit, or even really do my hair or makeup. I don't feel like doing all of that today.
As I'm finishing up in the bathroom I hear a knock at the door.
I take a breathe and walk to open it.
"Hey! I'm so glad you're feeling better." Josh smiles and greets me with a big hug.
"Yep, all better." I smile faintly and shut the door behind him.
"So, how's you're day going so far?" He asks as we head to sit on my couch.
"Uh... Honestly?" I sigh.
He nods, getting a more serious expression on his face.
"Robert fired me."
"What? No no no, why? Are you seriously?" He says looking concerned as he puts my hands in his hold.
"My presence there was causing too much commotion. I was bad for business. Remember all those people there yesterday? Well it happened again today."
"Oh my god Naomi I'm- I- I'm so so sorry." He says pulling me in for a hug.
"It's okay, it's not like it's your fault." I say resting in his arms.
He backs away from the hug and looks nervous.
He looks like he has something to say but he's hesitant.
"You okay?" I ask putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Naomi I fucked up."
"What did you do? I'm sure it's not that bad-"
"It is though." He says seriously, looking me straight in the eye.
"Okay... Well then just tell me. It'll be okay." I assure.
"You say that now, but it won't be okay. Because what I did is not okay. And I regret it more than you know."
"Josh just tell me." I say getting eager.
"I leaked it."
"What?"
"I leaked that Harry was talking to you at Beachwood yesterday. I was jealous and stupid and I wanted him out of there. I didn't know that the fans would want to get in your business too. Now, I have no idea why they were there today. Probably because they just assumed you'd be there and they wanted to get a glimpse again. I- I dont really know... But while I'm being honest, I also tipped the paps off, on our first date. Harry and I were talking in the bathroom and- It's no excuse. I was jealous again and I- Well... I wanted to screw with his night the same way I felt like he screwed with mine. But every time I thought I was fucking with him it ended up hurting you more and I'm just... I'm so so so fucking sorry Naomi."
"Josh I..."
I stare blankly at the wall.
What am I supposed to say to that.
Probably what I should've been saying all along.
"Please say something Naomi. Please." He looks at me with pleading eyes.
"How dare you?"
I can't help the tears in my eyes.
"I know-" He starts.
"No. I'm talking right now. How dare you do that after all I've put up with from you?" I say sternly as I get up from the couch to stand in front of him.
"Naomi-"
"No, because I looked past the fact that you don't believe in me because I believed in you. I believed that at your core you were a good person. A good person I want to be with. You didn't want me to pursue my dreams, you judged my decisions, you weren't there for me in times when I needed someone-"
"Don't you think you're being a little harsh?" He says looking slightly annoyed but also teary eyed like myself.
"Absolutely not. I'm just stating things that have happened. And through it all, I stood by you because I thought maybe I was judging you too harshly. I thought maybe just maybe I was looking too far into things and I wasn't giving you a fare shot. But no. I was wrong. I gave you too many shots and you blew them all. You were always judging me. And oh wait, you got me fucking fired Josh."
"I only did all of those things because I was jealous of Harry. But I realize how stupid that was now-" He says trying to reason.
"No! You called the paparazzi and made stupid comments because you were jealous of Harry. Your judgment of who I am as a person all came from you." I say with tears falling out of my eyes as I cross my arms.
"Come on, you know I say stupid things but at the end of the day I care about you. I care about you so much Naomi. Please." His voice is shakey as he reaches for my hand and I pull away.
"You were so worried about Harry ruining our relationship that you ruined it yourself. And as much as that hurts, what hurts me more is that you fucked up our friendship." I say wiping my eyes.
He closes his eyes and let's the realization of what he did hit him.
We stand there in silence for what felt like years.
"You're gonna go to him aren't you?" He says quietly, sounding defeated.
"Who? Harry?"
He nods.
"Contrary to your belief, my life doesn't revolve around Harry. I have to deal with this on my own." I tell him as I sit back down.
"Listen you obviously have every right to be mad. But can't you at least try to see where I was coming from?" He asks with a tone.
"Why should I?"
"Naomi you two are always talking or hanging out. You guys are close. You can't deny that. And even if you're not into him, he definitely likes you-"
"Oh, and how could you know that? Are you Harry's brain?" I scoff.
"I don't have to be! I see the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, the way he talks about you. He's enthralled by you! How do you not see it?" He says aggrivatedly.
"Josh-"
"You act like I'm crazy for being jealous, but how could I not be? He's rich, he's famous, he's good looking, he can sing, he can play guitar, he obviously gets you in a way that I never will be able to, he has everything. So, I'm sorry that I'm such a jealous asshole, but can you at least get why? I have nothing compared to him. And when you've been cheated on before, your always on watch." He rants as he paces the floor.
"Josh, we all have insecurities. It doesn't give you a pass for being a dick to your girlfriend and her friend."
"I'm not asking for a pass, I'm asking you to see where I'm coming from."
"I can see it, but it doesn't change anything." I sigh.
"I know."
He sits next to me on the couch.
I always thought Josh and I would end up married if I'm being honest. I thought we were gonna have this incredible love story that we'd tell our kids about. But the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
"You should probably go." I say so faintly it's almost a whisper.
"Okay."
I stay sat as he approaches my door.
"I don't know if you'll ever talk to me again. But if you need me, you have my number. I will always care about you Naomi." He says with a voice in which you can tell he is fighting through tears.
I tried to say something back but I stay frozen on the couch letting go silent tears fall down my cheeks.
The door closes, and Josh is gone.