CHAPTER 22: HEALING
Lucius took a deep breath, loving the sting of cold fresh air as it made its way into his lungs. He felt arms wrap around him, making him lean back into them as he closed his eyes, reveling in the touch. "You will fall sitting on the ledge this way." Noah spoke, his warm breath whispering against his ear.
"I won't." Lucius replied, "It feels good."
"It's too cold." Noah said, "And too high." He added when he glanced down over Lucius's shoulder, seeing his legs moving back and forth outside the window.
"It's calming. Besides, you climbed a mountain, you don't get to say this is too high."
"I made sure not to look down." Noah said, making Lucius turn to him with an arched eyebrow, "Really. Not once." Lucius let out a breath of a laugh before he started climbing back into the room as Noah stepped back. "Did you have breakfast?"
"I did. Father said you didn't have yours." Noah said, "Why did you tell me you did?"
"I'm not hungry and I know you will make me eat." Lucius told him, smiling at him over his shoulders after he closed the window.
"Love, you only become like this when something is bothering you. What is it?" Noah asked, sitting on the armrest of the sofa.
"I just wasn't hungry. No need to make it a bigger deal than it is." Lucius said, picking up the clothes on the floor before starting to fold them.
"Those need to be washed. No need to fold them." Noah reminded, noticing Lucius's distraction.
"Oh." Lucius laughed.
When Lucius was about to pass Noah, he stopped him, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer as he asked, "It's been two days since I woke up, and you haven't been the same."
"I told you, it's nothing." Lucius insisted.
Noah's hand tightened slightly, his frown deeper as he said, "I know what you almost did."
Lucius's brows furrowed in confusion before he rolled his eyes, saying, "Blayth is exaggerating."
"It wasn't him." Noah said, "And Atrabilious doesn't lie."
"I wasn't really going to do it." Lucius argued.
Noah's eyes looked sad as he said, "Will you speak to me?"
Lucius tossed the clothes he had on the couch before he cupped Noah's cheeks firmly, saying, "I am fine."
"Lu, I know what you feel." Noah reminded him.
"Noah-..."
"You are sad. Angry."
"I'm not-..."
"Lucius, I know. Stop trying to deny it. Yell at me for it, but don't let it pile up." Noah implored.
Lucius pecked Noah's lips, grabbing his hands to unwrap them from around his arms as he said, "I am sad that I missed so much time with you. Angry that Levi got away again. Nothing you need to concern yourself with, alright."
"Lu, I worry more when I don't know why you are upset. When you act this way."
"What way?" Lucius asked, "I am the same as always."
"You are not talking to Blayth or my father. You are quieter than usual when we are together. You avoid any conversation about how you feel. This isn't you."
"Noah, drop it. I don't want to talk." Lucius said, "Instead how about you tell me what you are thinking."
"All I think about is you." Noah sighed.
Lucius smiled, saying, "Good, keep it that way." He pecked his lips again before starting to walk away, only for Noah to grab a hold of him again.
"Lucius-..."
"I'm fine." Lucius said, "Now let me take care of the laundry."
Noah finally let go of him, watching as Lucius took the clothes and left the room. Instead of going to the laundry room, where Tobias's life saving invention of a washing machine was, he stopped at Blayth's door. He was still furious with him for what happened when he restrained him. He wasn't even speaking to him much, but he needed to right then. Opening the door he went to the bed, sitting on it without a word after placing the clothes in a pile near the door.
Blayth raised the arm covering his head, opening one eye to look at Lucius before he said hoarsely, "Thought you weren't talking to me."
"I'm not." Lucius replied.
"Then why are you waking me up?" Blayth asked, but didn't get a reply, instead, Lucius laid down next to him, staring at the ceiling in silence. Blayth fixed the pillow under his head, rubbing at his eyes before he stared at Lucius quietly as well, then said, "What's going on?"
"Don't get this wrong. I am still not talking to you." Lucius said stubbornly, making Blayth sigh, rolling his eyes as Lucius went on, "I don't know what to do with him."
"Do you still love him?" Blayth asked, making Lucius give him a deadpanned look before going back to staring at the ceiling. "Right. Of course. So did you explain to him what he made you go through?" Lucius didn't reply, making Blayth add, "Lucius, he won't know what is going on in your mind if you don't say it."
"He doesn't need to know." Lucius said.
"Why not?"
"I want to protect him. I want him to feel safe." Lucius replied.
A thought crossed Blayth's mind, and he wondered if he should ask Lucius. It took a while before he finally said, "You're scared."
"I'm not." Lucius countered, but didn't move an inch, "Angry, yes. Scared, no."
"You are." Blayth repeated.
"I'm not scared of him, Blayth." Lucius protested.
"No. Not of him." Blayth explained, "You are scared that whatever you say would drive him to do it again."
Lucius thought about it for a moment before he turned to his side, facing Blayth. He stared into his eyes for the longest time before he muttered, "You're stupid."
"Really, is it me who's stupid, or the one coming to me for advice?" Lucius let out a sigh, his eyes looking away from Blayth's as he considered Blayth's words about his fear. "You needed him back." Blayth said, making Lucius look back into his eyes, "I wasn't only thinking about him or following orders from Lazarus. I said I was sorry for making you feel the way you did when I pulled you away from him. I am, Lucius. Not for letting them wake him up, but for what you had to go through. For having played a part in it."
Lucius didn't reply, instead asked, "So you got up, got cleaned up and then went back to bed? Why bother getting up if you were staying in bed all day?"
Blayth went on with the change of topic, saying, "I was going to go down for breakfast then realized I could eat later. I'm so sleepy. Besides, is there anything else to do around here than sleep?"
"I guess not." Lucius said, then smirked as he added, "So Leon's keeping you up late."
Blayth winked, saying, "Or the other way around." Lucius chuckled, going quiet a little later as he turned back on his back, making Blayth ask, "Are you going to talk to him?"
"I don't want him to do anything stupid because of how I feel." Lucius muttered.
"Worrying him is better then?" Blayth asked, making Lucius frown.
"The moment I think about it I feel choked up." Lucius said, "I don't want to be weak when he needs me to be strong for him."
"Is that what he needs? Or is it to be able to trust you? Trust that you are honest with him?"
"This coming from the guy who read someone's journal to make them fall in love with him." Lucius glared sideways.
Blayth half shrugged, saying, "I was honest about it."
"You were caught with it." Lucius snorted.
"Same thing." Blayth smiled.
"Not really, but alright." Lucius said, getting off of the bed, "Training is in a couple of hours. You should eat something before then."
"Thought you weren't talking to me." Blayth repeated from earlier, a smirk on his face. Lucius grabbed a pillow, slamming it over his head, making him groan before he started walking away.
"I'm not." He insisted. Lucius picked up the pile of clothes, but instead of going to the laundry room he returned to Noah, dumping the clothes on the floor once he was inside, noticing Noah leaning over the fireplace, adding logs to it. He leaned against the door, taking in a deep breath before he said, "I'm not fine."
Noah straightened, looking towards him as he said, "Figured that out."
"I'm not fine with what you did. I am angry. Really angry."
"Lucius-..."
"Let me finish. You wanted to know, so here it goes." Lucius said. Noah nodded, listening as Lucius continued, "It was selfish. You say it was for me, but it was selfish for you to leave me like that. I woke up that morning not finding a pulse. I thought you were dead. I cried for you. Then Liam tells me that you aren't dead, but under a spell you yourself casted. You say for me, but all I hear is that you wanted to get away from me."
"It's not true-..."
"I'm not done." Lucius cut him off, glaring at him as he added, "I was miserable. My heart ached. I wanted you back. It is nothing like what you went through, I know. I realize. But to me... that was the first time I've ever lost you and god... it hurt like nothing else. I'm angry at you for it. I am angry at myself for not seeing it coming. I am sad as well. That I am trying so hard, yet I don't seem to be enough to help you through it. Through the damn powers that are taking you away from me. I was trying to help, but I was pushing you too much. And then damn Blayth makes me realize that I am scared too."
Noah felt weak, his hand searched for the couch behind him blindly before he took a seat, his eyes not once leaving Lucius's glassy ones. "Of me...?" Noah asked shakily, his brows frowned.
Lucius shook his head, a single tear gliding down his cheek as he said, "Never that. I am terrified of telling you how I feel because now I know that you are capable of leaving me the way you did."
"I never left you-..."
"You did!" Lucius said in frustration.
Noah shook his head, muttering, "All my dreams were memories of you, so to me it felt like I never left you."
"You'd rather be with a memory?"
"It's not what I meant, Lu." Noah shook his head, "A memory of you was the only way of being with you without harming you."
"Then harm me." Lucius said, "Tear me apart, but don't leave me." Lucius said desperately.
"I won't leave you again, I promise." Noah told him. Lucius shook his head, dropping it as he bit his bottom lip to hold back the sob threatening to escape him. Noah got up, going to him and cupping his cheeks, making him look into his eyes as he said, "I swear it on my life, Lu. I won't leave you again."
"You don't cherish your life enough for me to believe that." Lucius said brokenly, "Swear it on mine."
"Lu-..."
"If you won't do it again, then it shouldn't matter." Lucius argued.
Noah hesitated, before for the first time in his life he said, "I swear it on your life."
"Good." Lucius choked, a couple of more tears falling from his eyes.
"Now your turn. Promise to tell me what you are feeling no matter what." Noah said, "Because I need to know, or else how am I going to make you feel better?"
"I love you." Lucius said.
"I know you do." Noah muttered, his thumb brushing the tears from under Lucius's eye, making him close it.
"Tell me about the things you dreamt of." Lucius said suddenly, making Noah chuckle as he took his hand.
"Alright. Let's sit down."
"I missed you." Lucius mumbled, wiping his face.
"Come on." Noah said, tugging him along before pulling him to his side once he was seated on the couch. He told him of his dreams, moments of their past, his fingers running through Lucius's hair as he spoke. "Now you tell me."
"About?"
"The dream you had that made you want to end your life." Noah said, feeling the weight on his chest, knowing he had a part in it.
"It was of my father." Lucius said, starting to tell him the story he'd told Blayth, of how he died in a similar way after being in a coma for a week.
"Lu, I'm sorry to have dredged up old memories." Noah said. Lucius's eyes were focused on their hands, his fingers playing with Noah's.
"It wasn't really what made me want to do it." Lucius breathed.
"Then what?" Noah asked.
"I didn't tell Blayth the entire thing." Lucius mumbled, his head still against Noah's shoulder, lashes wet with tears that were yet to dry.
"What is it?" Noah said worriedly, "What is it you are not telling me?"
"I managed to keep it a secret for so long." Lucius sighed, "But then I had that dream, and now I can't seem to stop that memory from repeating in my head no matter how hard I tried. I can't stop reliving it..."
"Just tell me, Lu. It's alright."
"Promise not to overreact." Lucius said.
"Alright, just tell me."
"The reason I didn't come looking for you after my first dream of you was that I thought you just that: a dream. I told you about my uncle, how he was the one to kill my father."
"Yes."
"You see, a week after that, after I was placed with my uncle, he came to my room. I didn't know what he wanted, but..."
"Lu?" Noah asked when he'd trailed off, "Love, you're trembling."
"That time you were kissing me, and I told you I didn't remember us being together, I lied." Lucius admitted, "I remembered, but only one memory had come to me of it. Yet I wasn't ready to be with anyone physically."
"Why not?" Noah asked when Lucius again was quiet.
"Just wasn't ready." Lucius said then, his hand clutching Noah's as he closed his eyes, changing his mind about telling him.
Noah's other hand reached for Lucius's chin, raising it to look into his eye as he said, "You can't start talking and then just shut down. Tell me. What did he do?"
Tears escaped Lucius's eyes as he looked away, but Noah didn't let go, wanting his eyes to meet his own again. "You've guessed it, I'm sure."
"I want to hear it." Noah said, "Let me hear it, because right now, I don't believe it."
"Noah-..."
"Say it."
"Please..." Lucius whimpered, raising his hand to grab Noah's wrist, pulling it away.
"Don't you trust me?"
"I don't know how to say it..." Lucius mumbled, "I really don't."
"He touched you?" Noah asked, making Lucius gulp as he removed his hand from Noah's, wiping his face roughly. "What did he do?"
Lucius's shoulder dropped as he said, "I woke up when I felt my bed shifting. Then I saw him climb on top of me... I..." Lucius shook his head, saying, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"That scum... that fucking bastard-..." Noah fumed, Lucius not letting him finish as he cut him off.
"Noah, please, you said you wouldn't overreact-..."
"I am reacting perfectly fine to what you are saying." Noah insisted, "Why didn't you tell me? When you got here, why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't know anyone here. All I knew was it was filthy, what happened. I didn't want to be near anyone, or touched by anyone. It only happened once. The next day I ran away to find you... to find a dream... but I was scared you would send me back-..."
"The hell, Lucius! Why didn't you tell me afterwards?" Noah asked in frustration.
"Because I didn't understand it!" Lucius exclaimed, his face set in a deep frown, a sob escaped him as he continued, "I was 12 damn years old! What the hell did I know about it? All I knew is he hurt me. He was going to kill me. He was a greedy bastard that didn't think twice about killing his brother and raping his nephew!" Lucius swallowed thickly, realizing that he'd said it out loud for the first time, making it feel more real to him, his eyes again dropping as he muttered, "I had you, what I needed, and I was fine. I knew I was safe. I didn't need to worry anymore, and I didn't. I didn't even think of it again." He brought a shaky hand to his hair, pushing it back from his face as he said, "Then you wanted to be intimate when I started remembering, but I got scared. I knew you'd never harm me, but the memory I recalled was one of our firsts. And I remembered it hurt. All I thought about was the pain. But then... that night when I remembered everything... I remembered how beautiful it was, to be with you, how good it felt. How I actually wanted it... it's how I got over it."
"You don't just get over something like that." Noah muttered, making Lucius look at him.
"Don't look at me like that. Like I am broken or something. I am still me."
"Then why did you try to kill yourself?" Noah asked, his voice pained. He hated himself for not figuring out something was wrong, for not knowing Lucius was living with such a thing for years.
"Because what I needed wasn't there anymore... I didn't have the one who made me feel safe all my life..." Lucius mumbled.
"Lu..." Noah's pain could be seen in his eyes, making Lucius move closer to him, his hands against Noah's cheeks.
"I'm sorry I said anything." Lucius whispered, "I should've just kept it to myself. I've done it for so many years, I could've just kept my mouth shut."
Noah shook his head, saying, "No. I am already mad that you kept it from me for this long. I'm sorry to have let you down again."
"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself."
Noah reached up, his hand engulfing one of Lucius's as he said, "You know I will kill him."
"No you won't." Lucius shook his head.
"You don't get a say. Not this time." Noah said, "Because if I don't kill him, I will end up losing control."
"Deep breaths. Calm yourself. Noah, you can't just kill people when you feel like it."
"He hurt you. I will end him painfully." Noah promised.
"Don't." Lucius shook his head, "I don't want to even think of him again."
"I can't kill Levi." Noah said instead, "I can't avenge what he'd done to you. But anyone else that dares to touch you, or harm a hair on your head will live to regret it." Noah's voice was firm, not leaving room for discussion. Lucius didn't say a word, instead his tears started to fall heavier down his cheeks, shutting his eyes tightly as he wept. Noah gulped at the sound of his sobs, pulling him to his chest where he cried.
"Never leave me again..." Lucius cried, feeling Noah's arms tighten around him, "I can't live without you." Noah didn't let go of Lucius, keeping him close to himself as he sat on the couch, caressing Lucius's hair, listening to his sobs slowly calm down to a mere sniffle. "I'm supposed to be the one making sure you are alright, but look at me..." Lucius muttered.
"You don't have to take care of me." Noah said quietly, "I don't really deserve it."
"I decide that, not you." Lucius said, letting his fist finally drop from around Noah's shirt to wipe at his eyes.
"I'm fine if you are, love." Noah whispered, pressed his lips to the top of Lucius's head.
"Noah, I didn't mean to burden you with all of this-..." Lucius mumbled.
"No. I'd rather know. How many times do I have to tell you not to keep things from me before you get it through your head?"
"I don't say what I think would bother you. Anything that would make you react badly, I try to avoid." Lucius confessed.
"I do overreact sometimes, but only because I love you." Noah said.
"Can we forget about it?" Lucius mumbled, "Please? I don't want to speak about it again."
"I swear to never bring it up." Noah vowed, holding him close, "But if you have another dream. Or if you remember it at any time, just tell me. Tell me and we will figure it out together." Lucius nodded against his chest.
"Are you okay?" Lucius said, feeling Noah's arm tighten around him, "I mean your powers? Are they under control?"
"Mostly." Noah answered, "I merely have this bloodlust right now."
"What would take your mind off of it?" Lucius asked, tilting his head to look into Noah's eyes.
The redness of his eyes burned a hole in Noah's chest, making him take in a breath, touching his forehead against Lucius's before letting it out slowly. "Do you want to take a bath with me?"
Lucius raised his hand until it touched Noah's cheek, muttering, "Why not? But you have to keep the water warm. It will get cold too fast with how cold it is outside."
"Wasn't planning on letting you freeze." Noah said, pecking Lucius's lips before he stood up, his hands reaching for Lucius's. He was adamant. He knew he would kill the man, and he would make him suffer slowly, making him wish for the release that came with death. But for now, he resolved to make Lucius forget it, forget the man's filthy touch.
When Lucius was on his feet, Noah pulled him in for another hug. "Go get the bath ready, I'll get us some clothes and towels." Lucius said.
"Alright." Noah muttered, pressing his lips to Lucius's forehead before he went to do as Lucius said.
Lucius went to the bathroom, his eyes landing on Noah leaning down to check the water temperature, his eyes turning to Lucius when he heard him, holding his hand out for him before his eyes turned red, casting a spell to heat the water until steam came out of it. He then turned to Lucius, kissing his cheek as he started to unbutton his shirt. A small smile touched Lucius's lips at the gentleness of Noah's touch. He reached over, doing the same thing as he started to undress Noah. When both were naked, Lucius looked up at him with a blush before he stepped around him, lowering himself into the large tub.
Lucius recalled Tobias's proclamations of how the tubs were small and that they needed bigger ones. When everyone agreed, he'd remodeled the baths with his alchemy, making them big enough to fit four people. Tobias had said that the bathrooms were too big to be so empty. Now the bathtubs were more like small pools, covering an entire side of the bathroom.
Lucius looked towards Noah watching him silently. He smiled at him as he said, "Come here."
Noah did as told, getting in and settling against Lucius who wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him close so Noah's back was against his chest. Noah slid down until Lucius's chin was against the top of his head, feeling Lucius's lips brush his temple before he pressed his cheek against Noah's forehead.
"I love you." Lucius mumbled.
"Love you too..." Noah said quietly, relaxing against him, feeling the heat of the water seeping into his body. After a long moment of silence, Noah reached up, his hand grabbing Lucius's arm that was around him, placing a kiss against it before he asked, "What do you think life would be after all this is over?"
"Peaceful." Lucius said.
"Have you ever thought about it? About what you wanted it to be like?"
"Honestly? I've always wanted to run away from everything and just be with you."
Noah let a small smile touch his lips as he asked, "What about the throne? Your kingdom?"
"I had a plan." Lucius said, "I was going to introduce my father to someone. Help him fall in love again. Have another heir. And when that was done, I was going to run away. With you."
Noah frowned, his eyes looking upwards, trying to meet Lucius's but wasn't able to with how Lucius held him closely as he asked, "You actually had a plan?"
"I did." Lucius said, his arms tightening around Noah, "I wasn't going to rule. I never wanted to, you know that. I was going to have someone take over. A brother after I had convinced my father of it. I wanted something else. Something more important to me."
"Lu..." Noah mumbled in shock. He never dreamed that Lucius was willing to take it so far.
"I was going to give it all up. Everything. To be with you. I wanted us to go far away from the castle, but not out of Eglar. I loved Eglar too much." Noah closed his eyes as he listened to Lucius, "I imagined us having a small house near a lake that resembled this one. Away from prying eyes. Building it from scratch together. A small yard out back, a picket fence with a farm big enough to feed the two of us. I wanted to grow our own food. Get a goat for milk and cheese... it would've been peaceful. I would sleep in the same bed with you without having to worry about someone finding out. I would kiss you when I wanted. Love you when I wanted. No one would threaten us, or what we had."
"I would've loved that..." Noah muttered, "I thought you wanted to study with your father though."
"To spend time with him, not to rule." Lucius said, "I wasn't looking forward to that part at all."
"A house to call ours. A simple life. With you." Noah mumbled, "Sounds like a dream come true."
"Didn't you ever think about it?" Lucius asked.
Noah shook his head slightly as he said, "All I knew was that I wanted to be close to you. Protect you for the rest of my life. Be beside you even as you wed. Make sure you were safe, make sure you were alright. I wasn't going to leave your side no matter what."
"Even if I had gotten married?" Lucius asked, not certain about Noah's words, his arms tightening around him.
"Not even then. My pain wasn't going to keep me from protecting you. You are all I cared about, Lu. No matter what would've happened, I was going to be by your side."
"I just wish it all ends." Lucius said, "I don't want to worry anymore. Not about the end of everything, not about being killed or us being apart. I don't want to worry. I don't want to care about anything else but you. I don't want you and I to hurt any more than we already have been. I wish for it all to just... end."
"We are so close..."
"Not close enough. No matter how much we want it, how hard we work for it, nothing ever changes. I hate it. I hate this life. I want to have you, only you. I want all my focus to be you. All my thoughts to be on how much I love you. Not about the damn world, or trying to protect it... Is it too much to ask for?"
"Do you want to just leave?" Noah asked, making a bitter laugh leave Lucius. "I am serious. Just say the word, and I will take care of it. We will leave and never look back. We will travel. Go see the world."
"And if Levi ends it?" Lucius asked.
"Then we end our lives before he gets to us. On our terms. How we want to die." Noah said.
"But I will come back..." Lucius said.
"I am more powerful now. I think I might be able to break it." Noah said.
"What if you are wrong?" Lucius asked.
"Lucius, just tell me. We will figure it out when it comes to that. Do you want to leave?" Noah asked again.
Lucius was quiet for a moment before he said, "We can't be that selfish. I want to... God, I want nothing else as much as that, but we can't. Everyone here chose to be here to support me. I can't just abandon them."
"I knew you'd say that." Noah mumbled, feeling wetness against his face, closing his eyes as his other hand reached for Lucius's thigh under the water, caressing it softly as he said, "Don't cry. We will get our house. The one you want. We will get our happily ever after. One day, Lu. I promise you that."
Lucius gulped, pressing himself closer to Noah, "Just promise to not lose your love for me... not to give up on us..."
"I promise." Noah vowed, "And I will never leave you again. I am so sorry I did that... I messed up, thinking it was what is best for you. I'm sorry, love."
"It's alright." Lucius said, "It taught me things... missing you so much merely made me realize how much more precious you are to me than I thought. It made me learn what you went through... at least partially. God, I love you. There is nothing in this world that I wouldn't give for you."
Noah kissed Lucius's arm again, tilting his head back until it was against Lucius's shoulder, his hand reaching up to pull his head closer, their lips touching in a deep kiss before he muttered, "I love you too. So damn much it hurts."
"Good." Lucius said.
"Why?" Noah asked, a weak smile against his lips.
"Because it means you will never forget it." Lucius said, making him chuckle as he sat up, turning around before his hands caressed Lucius's thighs until they touched his waist under the water, leaning closer so their lips touched.
"I don't think I would forget it. Even if I forgot everything else I know." Noah whispered against them before Lucius tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling him against himself and kissing him deeply. Lucius got to his knees before straddling Noah's hips, Noah gripping a hold of him so he didn't slip, his hand gliding upwards, caressing Lucius's waist, his chest as he kissed down his chin, reaching his neck. "You're beautiful..." Noah breathed, his lips against Lucius's again, breathing him in, his tongue slipping between his lips, making a shiver course through Lucius.
When their lips parted, Lucius said breathily, "Told you not to call me that."
Noah's arms wrapped around Lucius, pulling him to his chest, muttering, "I love you..."
"Show me..." Lucius whispered, kissing along Noah's jaw, feeling his hands slide down his back before lifting him slightly, preparing him until he was shivering with the lightest of touches, then he lined himself with Lucius's entrance, the latter lowering himself on top of him until Noah was buried deeply inside of his, his arms around Noah's neck, holding him close, the tip of his nose against Noah's, his lips parted as he panted for breath with every racing beat of his heart, Noah nibbling on his lower lip. "N-Noah..." Lucius breathed, his eyes fluttering when Noah bucked his hips, making Lucius's grip on him tighten.
Noah's mind swayed with all his emotions, his love for Lucius, the feelings coursing through Lucius that he could feel through their bond. He thought of how he loved being so close to Lucius, so intimate... only with his Lucius. And suddenly the thought of another man touching his Lu passed through his mind, making him gulp thickly.
One of Lucius's hands moved to Noah's jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek, making his eyes meet his own, but where they were supposed to be mismatched, Noah's eyes were the color of blood. "Love..." Lucius whispered, "Focus on me..."
Noah pulled Lucius closer, kissing him again, deepening it as he brushed his tongue against Lucius's, his hand gripping the back of his hair, fingers tangling between the strands as he explored his mouth until they both were starved for a breath. Noah started moving inside of him, gripping the edge of the tub to keep from both of them going under the water. The loving, gentle touches became urgent, pushing them both over the edge of ecstasy, bringing their pleasure to the surface, leaving them a quivering mess after their release.
Noah held Lucius close as he let the water of the tub drain, relaxing to catch their breaths before he pulled Lucius up with him, going to the shower where he turned on the water, letting it splash down on them as they cleaned each other up quickly. After drying up they made their way to bed, laying against each other, merely enjoying the company.
"What happened?" Lucius asked, "Why did you lose control again?"
"It's nothing." Noah sighed, having promised not to speak about it.
"Noah..." Lucius said, tilting his head to look at him, but he wouldn't meet his eyes, "I am supposed to help you control it. How can I do that if you don't tell me what sets it off?"
Noah closed his eyes, muttering, "It's nothing. Really." After a long moment of quiet, Noah said, "How about we get out of here? For a few days."
"But Levi is out there."
"He is weak now. After opening the portal." Noah told him, "We can if you want. Just go to the town nearby. Do something different. Stay in a different place. Rent a room in one of those extravagant hotels, do some sightseeing. You haven't seen the town, not once since you started living here."
"You wouldn't let me go." Lucius said with a pout.
Noah chuckled, saying, "I was worried. But even he was scared of me when he last saw me."
"But you can't control your power, Noah." Lucius reminded him.
"He doesn't know that." Noah assured, "Besides, we need a bit of a change."
Lucius thought about it for a moment before saying, "Lazarus won't let us."
"We won't tell anyone." Noah said, making Lucius sit up to look down at him.
"They'll get worried."
"We'll leave a note." Noah replied.
Lucius smiled, as he said, "You have an answer to everything."
"I want to go." Noah said honestly.
"Then we will go." Lucius nodded.