Wound
I crinkled my nose and rolled towards the other side of my bed. But it followed me. The sunlight's caress still managed to kiss my cheeks, urging me to wake up.
Tumatagos ang liwanag nito sa mga kurtina at wala na akong magagawa ro'n. I love the sunlight alright, it makes my tanned skin glow. It is my color but I particularly hate it today. Gusto ko pang matulog ng mas mahaba pero pinipilit ako nitong magising.
Surrendering, I opened my eyes for another morning here at the Cavalleros' mansion. Nang napasulyap ako sa wall clock ay nakatatak roon na alas sais pa lang ng umaga. Pero tirik na tirik na ang araw sa labas.
I normally wake up too early. Even earlier than today. Pero kasi, nagpuyat ako kasama si Gon kagabi. We had random conversations about hobbies pero kadalasan ay natatahimik kami at napapatingala na lang sa kalangitang nilulukob ng mga bituin.
I smiled like a fool. I admit that I came to like him. Kahit pa man malupit minsan ang mga salitang lumalabas sa labi niya, nangibabaw sa akin ang mga pagkakataong nasisilip ko ang pagkatao niya.
I like how he's kind. I like how it is so contrasting with his rough physical features. Nagugustuhan ko sa tuwing tinatanong niya ako ng mga simpleng tanong na nagpapakita ng kahit kaonting concern at kabaitan. Gusto ko rin ang katangian niyang mapagmahal sa mga hayop. He did not directly tell me about it yesterday, but I sensed how he cared so much for them, respectful of the fact that they too, have lives and does not deserve to be treated less.
Pero habang nagtatagal na kinokolekta ko ang lahat ng magagandang katangian niya, napapatigil din ako, at sa huli napapawi ang ngiti na kanina lang ay nakapaskil sa mga labi.
Ang magustuhan siya ay hindi masama. Pero ang makaramdam ng mas lagpas pa roon ay hindi dapat. Kaya bago pa man makapunta roon ay kailangan ko nang pigilan ang sarili ko at paalalahanan sa lahat ng pang-aalipustang ginawa ng pamilya nila sa amin.
And just like a wake up call, my phone that's on the bedside table rings.
"Good morning, Ma. Kumusta po kayo diyan kina Tita Reesa?" bungad ko kaagad sa tawag nang makita sa screen na si Mama ang caller.
"Good morning, anak! Ikaw? Kumusta ka na? I'm doing good here, madalas na bumisita rito ang mga kasosyo nila Reesa dala ang mga apo nila kaya nalilibang din ako. And oh, ipapaalam ko sana sa 'yo na gusto kong magtrabaho bilang executive assistant ni Reesa. I offered to work for her yesterday and she's considering it! Hinihintay niya lang ang opinyon mo tungkol dito..." sunod-sunod na sabi ni Mama na hindi ko halos masundan.
Kunot-noong napaahon ako mula sa pagkakaupo sa kama. I finger combed my hair and started fixing my bed while being on the phone at the same time.
"Wait, what are you trying to say, Ma? Executive assistant? It's a hectic work and the doctor did not advice that you can move too much now! He strictly reminded us that you should do it step by step, step by step..." ulit ko sa huling punto at napahilot sa sentido.
Okay lang sana kung nasa opisina lang siya, nagmo-monitor sa kung anong mga paper works. But Tita Reesa's company is a shipping line at kadalasan, kailangan niyang isama ang assistant niya sa mga sites dahil hindi man kagaya ni Asmodeus na sobrang hands-on sa project, kailangan pa rin ni Tita na pumunta roon para sa lahat ng reviews at inspections.
"Tequila, alam ko naman. I am not ignoring the professional's advice but I know my body. Kaya ko na. Magpapahinga naman ako kung sakaling mapagod. And besides, Reesa's schedule isn't too hectic since Asmodeus assumed the position of CEO," mahinahon niyang paliwanag, kadalasan niyang tono sa tuwing kailangan niya akong mapapayag sa kung anong gusto niya.
I sighed and walked towards the window to slide the curtains open. Binuksan ko na rin ang mismong bintana para makapasok ang preskong hangin.
"I don't know, Ma. Kaka-recover mo pa lang. You are even scheduled for a follow-up check-up next week."
I propped my chin up to feel the wind's breeze despite the worry that Mama is suddenly giving me this morning. I let out a small breath and let the sunlight dance on my freckled cheeks. It is warm, a bit burning, yet somehow embracing...
"Then we'll consult him about this, next week, on my check-up schedule. I'm sure he'll approve."
Wala na akong masyadong nasabi pa dahil sa pagiging persistent ni Mama. Natapos na lang ang tawag na sinang-ayunan ko ang suhesiyon niyang kumunsulta sa doktor. I'm sure he won't approve.
But somehow, that call about Mama's want to work as Tita Reesa's executive assistant relieved me. Kadalasan kasi, sa mga umaga na tumatawag siya ay halos tungkol lang sa mga Cavallero, sa mga paalala niya na dapat namin silang kamuhian, at pati na rin sa planong namin na kailangan kong galingan.
I did not forget, alright. Not even one bit. But it is refreshing when she talks to me about some other things other than the Cavallero's.
And speaking of some certain Cavallero...
Napadungaw ako mula sa bintana ng kuwarto kong nasa ikalawang palapag ng mansion. Sa baba ay tanaw na tanaw si Gon na walang pang-itaas na saplot.
Ang shirt niya ay nakasampay lang sa balikat habang tinutulungan niya ang hardinero sa pamamagitan ng pagtutulak noong wheel barrow.
My lips parted as I watched the muscles on his back rippled as he pulled out some weeds with his bare hands and put it on the wheel barrow.
So, this is what he does every morning. He helps around. And maybe in the afternoon, he handles company matters. And when he's done with it, he goes horseback riding on his own rodeo track.
I pursed my lips and watched him closely as I squint my eyes a bit. Bahagya pang naging sagabal ang sikat ng araw para mapagmasdan ko ng mabuti ang pagkilos niya. But when he squatted to lift a seemingly heavy flower pot, I can clearly see the outline of his glorious butt.
I stifled a smile and completely got startled when he gazes over my window. Dahil sa pagharap niya ay kitang-kita ko ang pagkunot ng noo niya habang nakatanaw sa aking nangingiti.
My eyes fell on his pecs, and got stuck on his eight pack that is properly highlighted by the early morning sunlight. Then to the dipping v that is peaking from his jeans that hang so low.
Warmth spilled on my cheeks and I turned away from the window before I get stuck there like a fool. Ang huling reaksyon na nakita ko sa mukha niya ay ang pag-iling at kung hindi ako nagkakamali, ay ang pagpipigil ng tawa bago siya tumalikod ulit para maipagpatuloy ang ginagawa.
Madalian akong naligo at nagbihis nang mapagtantong thirty minutes pala ang ginugol ko sa tawag namin ni Mama at sa pagsa-sight seeing ko doon sa bintana.
Nang bumaba ako ay kaagad akong nagtungo sa kitchen. Nadatnan kong pareho si Ate Dina at Ate Ofelia na naghahanda na ng mga rekados para sa lulutuing agahan.
"Ate, ako na diyan. 'Di ba mamalengke pa kayo para sa mga stocks?" I popped up in the kitchen, ready for the work with an apron on.
"Oh Tequila, kailangan nga naming mamalengke ng maaga. Pero wala ka bang pasok ngayon?" si Ate Ofelia.
"Mamaya pa po sa alas dos ang pasok namin."
They eventually both agreed to left me for the preparation of the breakfast. Marami-rami kasi ang kailangan nilang bilhin sa palengke kaya kailangan silang dalawa ang gumawa kasama ang driver ng mga Cavallero.
I started chopping the carrots and potatoes they left. Sa pagkakaalam ko, higit sa sampu ang katulong ng mga Cavallero. Pero kadalasang pasok noong mga hindi stay in ay alas siete y media na ng umaga. Kaya ang nandito lang talaga tuwing maaga ay sina Ate Dina, Ate Ofelia, 'yong hardinero at driver na parehong stay in. Kadalasan sa mga kasama namin ay umuuwi ng mga bahay nila dahil halos lahat sa amin ay taga El Valencia rin naman.
When I was finished with the carrots and potatoes, I moved on to cutting the large onions- the part that I hate the most.
Sa ikatlong hiwa pa lang ay nanuot na kaagad ang epekto nito sa mga mata ko. Bahagya kong iniwas ang mukha habang patuloy pa rin sa paghihiwa. Muntik pang masali ang daliri ko. I cussed then laughed at my own silliness.
"Good mornin'. Need some help?"
The sudden drawl made me jump on my feet. Muntik ko pang nabitawan ang kutsilyo na hawak.
His forehead creased as he watch me handle the knife carelessly. Nakabihis na siya ngayon ng shirt pero bakas pa rin ang pawis niya rito. He followed me with his eyes as he went to the fridge to get himself water.
"Ah okay na, kaya ko naman."
Then I turned to continue what I'm doing only to be stupid and cut my fingers upon the last slice of the onion.
"Stupid!" I mumbled and put the knife down.
Kaagad akong nagtungo sa sink para basta na lang paduguin ang daliri. I directed it on the running tap water and it flowed with a hint of crimson red.
Napangiwi ako habang nakatanaw sa malaki-laking hiwa sa daliri. Bahagya ko pang iniwas ang tingin dahil sa hindi ko gustong makita ang dugong patuloy na umaagos mula rito.
A warm presence suddenly enveloped me from behind. Gon, in his six feet tall or so figure, crouched and looked over the space between my shoulder just so he could look at what I'm doing.
He's so close to me now. His breath slides through my hair and brushes the back of my neck when he sighed.
Awtomatikong nakapaskil na ang kunot sa noo niya bago siya tumuwid ng tayo at bahagyang dumistansya sa akin.
"You could've tell me about it immediately. Stay right here, kukunin ko lang ang first aid kit sa itaas."
Akmang aalis na siya para kunin ito nang pigilan ko siya gamit ang kanang kamay na hindi nasugatan.
Ewan ko, takot ako sa dugo pero may naisip na naman akong linya ng kabalastugan kaya hindi ko sasayangin ang ideya para masabi ito sa kanya.
"I'm okay. They say people should just lick cuts to stop it from bleeding. But I hate blood so... I don't think I can do it myself."
"Oh, I could definitely help you with that," he smirks playfully.
Inaasahan ko na ang pag-ismid niya o ang pagbalewala lang ng sinabi ko kaya nabigla ako ngayon sa isinagot niya. Napakurap-kurap ako at napaawang ang labi bago nakabawi.
Inilahad ko sa kanya ang sugatang daliri pero marahan lang siyang humalakhak.
"I could definitely help you by getting the first aid kit upstairs. That's the best option, Tequila..."
The way he said my name was so sweet that I couldn't pay more attention to the embarrassment of assuming that he'll do what I just suggested.
Nakaalis na siya para kunin ang first aid kit at naiwan na lang akong nakabusangot. May tendency pa rin talagang marahas na magpaasa ang mga labi niyang binuo ng parehong matatamis at malulupit na salita.
Nakabalik na siya nang nakaupo na ako sa high stool sa kitchen counter. Nakapaskil pa rin ang busangot sa labi ko nang madatnan niya kaya nagtagal ang tingin niya sa parehong ekspresyon ko.
"Masyado bang masakit?" tanong niya habang binubuksan iyong kit.
"Are you referring to the cut on my finger or my rejected proposal?"
Ngumisi ako at pinagmasdan ang makakapal niyang kilay na halos magdugtong na dahil sa kaseryosohan niya. Akala ko papatulan niya pa ang sinabi ko pero nakatuon na ang pansin niya sa bulak at nilalagyan ito ng ointment.
"You already washed your cut with running tap water, right?"
I nodded and it was stopped mid-air when he used his knee to part my legs. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napasinghap sa ginawa niya. Pero tila hindi niya napansin ang reaksyon ko ngayong matagumpay niya nang naiparte ang mga hita ko.
He naturally settles himself between my legs. Or it is just in between my knees but that position that seems not to be malicious enough from another's viewpoint made me speechless and my cheeks flush.
Siya na mismo ang nag-abot sa tila hindi ko maiangat na kamay. His rough calloused hands held it gently. My eyes then slowly fell down from his serious expression down to the way his large hands handled mine with an unexpected carefulness.
He softly dabbed the cotton on my cut and I sighed loudly. Nang nag-angat ako ng tingin ay nagtama ang mga mata namin. He raised his brow at me then continued tending to my cut.
Pakiramdam ko, iilang oras ang ginugol niya sa paggamot sa akin gayong mga limang minuto lang naman yata nagtagal iyon. You can't blame me, I was nearly out of breath the whole time he was doing that.
It was our proximity, the way his eyebrows pulled together with a hint of seriousness and concern as he tended to my cut, and the heat that enveloped my face.
"T-Thank you," I said, almost breathlessly when he finished doing it.
Bahagya na siyang lumayo sa akin. I carefully closed my parted legs and even reprimanded myself inside my head. Kanina ay nabigla ako at bahagyang hindi pa mapakali dahil sa posisyon namin, ngayong lumayo siya ay para bang nanghihinayang pa ako.
"S-Sige, magpapatuloy na ako sa paghahanda ng breakfast. Salamat..."
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. What the hell? Ganoong kilos niya lang na tila wala namang malisya para sa kanya, ta's magkakaganito na ako? I am not a shy girl, I even say what I want to the extent of thinking out loud shamelessly. Kaya bakit para na akong natameme dito?
I shook my head to snap me out of my thoughts. Bababa na sana ako sa high stool na kinauupuan pero dumapo ang kanang kamay niya sa bewang ko para mapigilan ako sa pagbaba. Mabilis niya rin naman itong binitawan.
He just did it to stop me from getting down the chair but my breathing hitched. For the second time today, I am having a mini heart attack.
"H'wag na. I'll prepare the breakfast instead, you sit there and just instruct me what to do."
Gusto ko mang igiit na ako na ang magluluto dahil ako naman ang working student dito, hindi ko na siya napigilan pa nang kunin niya iyong kutsilyo at nagsimulang hiwain na ang mga kamatis.
"Stay there," he drawls and glances at me in the middle of his fast chopping.
"Uhmm... ihanda ko na lang iyong mga kubyertos sa dining. I need to make the vegetable salad too."
"Stay. I'll need your instructions."
Pero parang hindi niya naman kailangan? Dahil ngayon ay isinasalang niya na sa frying pan iyong mga rekados, alam na alam at sanay na sanay sa ginagawa.
"I'll prepare the vegetable salad! And if you're worried that I might cut myself again, which I understand because you're so concerned about me, then there's no need. I'll be fine. It's just a vegetable salad, it doesn't cut or bite." I laughed and got down from the chair.
He casts me a stern look but he can't do much to stop me anyway. Nagtungo na ako sa fridge para kunin iyong mga kasangkapan.
I placed it on the sink to wash and went back to the fridge to get myself some water. Umiinom ako nang nadatnan kami ng kung sinong pumasok sa kitchen.
The click clack of her heels made her entrance to the kitchen so loud. Her eyes immediately displayed hostility upon seeing me. She eyed the glass that I'm holding then back at Gon who's now busy cooking.
"Gon! What are you doing?" Alita's hysterical voice echoed in the kitchen.
Pero normal lang naman talaga iyong reaction niya. Because I should be cooking instead, pero ngayon, sa nadatnan niyang ayos namin ay para bang si Gon pa ang inuutos-utusan ko imbes na ako ang working student dito.
"Alita, good morning. I'm cooking," Gon replies so casually and just casted his cousin a quick glance.
Mas nairita pa yata si Alita dahil sa isinagot ni Gon kaya naglakad na siya patungo rito.
"I know! But why are you even doing that? Kung may katulong naman?" Sabay sulyap at irap niya sa akin.
Napailing ako at imbes na mainsulto sa sinabi niya ay nginitian ko lang siya. It was not my intention pero mas lalo lang siyang nainis. She gasped and I turned my back to continue washing the ingredients for the vegetable salad that I'll be making.
I heard Gon stopped what he's doing and give his cousin his full attention. I looked at them and started making the vegetable salad in the counter where I can clearly see their interaction.
"Kailangan nilang mamalengke dahil naubusan na ng stock. And what's wrong with me cooking?" Gon laughs and shook his head at his cousin.
I heard Alita whine then she pointed at me.
"May katulong pa namang natira?" she says in a 'duh' tone.
"Alita, she's a working student here."
That was Gon's brief and stern reply before he continued what he was doing.
Napailing-iling ang pinsan niya 'saka nagpupuyos na nagtungo sa high stool na inupuan ko kanina. She sat there and crossed her legs.
"Don't tell me you fell for her too? I told you about her reputation already Gon! Andaming lalaki niyan. She's probably trying to make you like her so she could make use of your money. She's the corrupt Governor's daughter after all, maybe she's trying to climb her way back to the top agai-"
Hindi na naipagpatuloy ni Alita ang sinasabi nang malakas na ibinagsak ni Gon iyong frying pan sa granite nook.
I got startled and felt the tension. For the first time since Alita entered the kitchen, I felt the pang of insult. It was the mension of my father and how she called him corrupt made my hands tremble.
Even before I could hear Gon reprimanding his cousin, I already walked out of the kitchen to breathe.
I've been so used to being insulted because of my so-called 'reputation'. I'm okay with that. I don't even care. But whenever people drag my father's name, I can't control my emotions anymore. It was like an open wound pricked and prodded, triggering the ugly emotions that I so badly wanted to ignore.