It rang once.
It rang again.
It rang for a third time.
Would he even pick up?
A click at the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
I let out a sigh of relief. "Dad."
"What's wrong?"
I nearly smirk at how well knows me. I utter one word and he can guess why I called. Lloyd can do that too. So can Cole. And Kai. God, I'm an idiot.
"I think I made a mistake."
Dad scoffs on the other end. "You've got that right."
"No. Not that. Well-- yes, that, but I made a different mistake."
All hints of sarcasm disappear from his voice. "What did you do?"
"I used my power against one of the pirates in a friendly battle."
"Oh." I can almost see him relax. "What's the problem with that?"
"I took it farther than I meant. Way farther.
"What happened."
I glance up from the comb I'd been fiddling with and stare into the mirror. My own ice blue eyes stare back at me. In the dim lantern light, they've got this golden hue to them. They're intimidating. They're not the same eyes that looked back at me a few weeks ago when I was getting ready for that stupid interview with Kimmy Jimmel. These eyes are cruel, and they know it.
"I had only meant to freeze him. A simple display of power. Force him to forfeit. But then the words just came out of my mouth, and before I even knew what I was doing, I was punching him."
"Tasha," Dad says slowly. "You didn't kill him, did you?"
"No. I didn't. But I know that I could've. If I'd just punched a little harder, he would've been dead. And if given the chance again, I don't think I would hesitate."
"Was it the voices?"
"No. They didn't say a word during the whole battle. But I could tell they were pleased. I could feel it."
He stays silent. I know what he's thinking. He's trying to figure out what to say, how to help. But it's hard because he's not actually here. He can't stand next to me and talk me out of whatever trance I fall into. He can't physically hold me back. He can only offer advice, and while he's very good at that too, it's still different from him actually being present. Plus, this whole situation is just foreign.
"The hardest part about this is that I don't know why you're hearing these voices," Dad finally says with an exasperated edge to his voice. "They can't be a part of your power, or else you would've been hearing them a long time ago."
"Could they be an extension of the visions I sometimes have?"
"No. From what you've described, this is something different. Something completely outside of your power."
"Maybe it's fate trying to put me back on track. Maybe I was always just meant to be evil and destiny's doing it's job to fix what I screwed up."
"No, because then you would've been hearing them the moment you chose to be good."
"Well, maybe it's because I've become a Sensei?"
"You can be an evil sensei too, you know. That's not what triggered it."
"Well then I'm out of ideas." I lean back in the chair, letting my eyes roll up to the ceiling. Even the patterns in the wood look like demons. "Maybe I'm just going crazy."
"If that's true, then we really need Lloyd."
A lump crawls into my throat. "You really think that's what could be happening to me?"
"Hearing voices is a sign of Schizophrenia."
"But that's hereditary, isn't it? Nobody in our family has had it, right?"
"It can be hereditary, yes. And no, nobody in our family has ever had it. But that doesn't completely rule it out as a possibility."
A few tears make their way down my cheeks. "But . . . it can't be . . ."
A moment of silence. He must've heard my soft sniffles over the phone. "You know what, you're right. It's very unlikely. And you've only had this one symptom."
I rub my nose and nod, even though he can't see it. "Right."
"You still need to talk to Lloyd about this."
"Okay, I will."
"And I'm talking the first chance you get, okay, Tasha. I can't be the only one who knows anymore. Not when I'm not even alive to do anything."
I nod again as another tear falls. "Okay."
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"No. Just this."
"Okay. May I ask: how's Nadakhan?"
I flinch. Do I tell him he's got, Kai, Wu, and Mom's souls trapped in a sword? "He hasn't caused any trouble yet. Mostly just rebuilding his crew and his ship."
"Okay. But the moment he does, you've got to get rid of him."
"I know, Dad." I glance over at my necklace hanging in the jewelry box Dogshank gave me. "I love you."
"I love you too, Tasha. Always."
A small smile spreads across my lips. "Bye."
"Goodbye."
I press the end call button.
Don't be afraid.
I flinch, and then I sigh. They'd been so quiet for that whole conversation.
We aren't going to hurt you.
"I-" I swallow hard, staring at myself in the mirror. "I'm not going crazy?"
No.
I chose to believe them.
~
I spend most of the day in my room. Truth is, I'm scared to see the pirates again. Scared of how they may look at me. Afraid that if I go out of this room, I may accidently hurt one of them. Worried about what the voices may tell me to do. Terrified that I may do it.
I don't have control anymore. Not over my mind. Barely over my body. These demons take control. Whenever I get upset. Because I am weak. Weaker than I thought. Weaker than everyone thought. Inner Peace can't even save me from this. Not when the monster is begging to be let loose. Not when I am fighting it every single day. Not when it is destroying me from the inside out.
They get so loud. They hurt my ears. So much so that I have to press my palms to them. I nearly need to crush my own skull. It doesn't bring me silence; it only brings me pain. But at least the pain can distract me from this endless noise.
A knock at my door nearly makes me jump out of my skin. I forgot what real sounds sound like. They're less echoey. They don't bounce around my brain. It's soothing, almost.
"Y-yes?"
"M-m-m-miss T-t-tasha G-g-g-g-Garmadon. Nadakhan w-w-wishes to s-see you in his qu-quarters," Clancee stammers from outside.
"Tell him I'm not interested."
"I-it wasn't a request, miss. I-i-i-it was an order." He lets out a nervous chuckle. I'm glad I don't have to look at his face; I can imagine the fear it must portray.
"Remind him who gives the orders around here."
"U-um that would be the captain, miss."
I hate that he calls me miss. So do the voices. Maybe I could . . . No! Don't think like that.
"Fine. Tell him I will arrive shortly."
"Right."
I wait until Clancee's footsteps disappear, then I climb out of bed. I grab the corset from the oak-wood dresser on the other side of the room and put it on, but I don't tie it too tight: I'm not in the mood to suffocate right now.
I pause outside my door, contemplating grabbing my bow. I don't know why I'd need it. It's not like this meeting with Nadakhan is going to be hostile. And even if it is, I'm an elemental master; I don't need a weapon to defend myself.
Take it.
I reach my hand out. My fingers brush against the shiny, silver material. It's cold to the touch. Soothing. Familiar. Maybe I will bring it--not to use, only to ground me.
You keep telling yourself that.
I sling the weapon over my shoulder and open the door. There are no pirates in sight. They must be avoiding my room. I walk up the familiar set of stairs that lead to the poop deck. There aren't any pirates anywhere. Just Clancee, mopping the floor, as usual.
Then I realize why:
Floating Islands. As far as the eye can see. And on each of the floating islands, a few pirates are hard at work on bridges to connect them. My jaw nearly falls to the floor. Here I've been, sulking in my room because I almost killed somebody while Nadakhan was busy destroying the land I live in.
"Like what you see?"
I whip around to face Nadakhan, who wears his signature smirk. "What did you do?"
"Well, you see, I figured, since it was your people that destroyed the cursed realm, consequentially destroying my realm, it would only be fair to take chunks from your world to rebuild my own."
"I thought I told you no funny business, or else I'd--"
"Or else you'd make it so I never existed? Yes, but, if you did that, you'd never get to see your beloved Kai again."
I hesitate. "Some sacrifices are worth making. For the greater good."
"Ah, but don't forget. I also have your mother and your uncle. Oh, and I recently collected that Nindroid friend of yours too."
He lifts up his sword, and Zane's face appears in the crystal. Dammit.
"I believe," Nadakhan continues in that conniving voice of his, "this is the part where you admit defeat."
I lift my nose towards him, a lame attempt at contempt. "You have not won yet, Nadakhan. I will find a way to save my friends and then I will destroy you. And until that moment, you will continue to fear me. I still have the power. This is just a small hurdle in my path to greatness."
Nadakhan smirks. Why is he smirking? "If you say so, Purple Ninja."
With that, he floats away and I am left alone with my thoughts.
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? And why the fuck was he so demeaning when he said that? What am I doing wrong? Why does he seem so pleased? I hold the power. It's me who's in charge. Doesn't he realize that? What do I gotta do for him to fear me as he should?
You're falling for his tricks.
What? No I'm not.
Yes you are.
What is he doing? How is he tricking me?
He knows you're weak. He knows you will never use the power you wished for, no matter what he does. You are selfish. You desire a connection to your father too much. You'll risk the integrity of Ninjago, of your team, in order to achieve your own personal goals. That's what makes you evil, Tasha Garmadon. That is why you belong with us.
No. You're wrong.
Are we? Then get rid of Nadakhan. Stop this before it goes too far. End his reign before he becomes to powerful.
. . . they're wrong.
~
Hello! I'm so so sorry for how late this chapter is. I had orientation so I was away for a weekend and couldn't write, then I ended up working a lot of 12 hour shifts between my two jobs since I was going on vacation for 4th of July, then obviously there was said holiday, so I just didn't have any time to write. I definitely won't promise a chapter by next Tuesday, but there will likely be one next week (and if not, expect it the following Tuesday). I love you all lots, thanks for all your love and support. I adore every comment I read and appreciate every vote I get. Until next time, Wacky AWAY!
Word Count: 1982
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