Tw; mentioning of an eating disorder
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I don't know what's right and what's real,
anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel,
anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear
The Fear ~ Lily Allen
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OLIVE DRAGGED HER FEET as she walked towards the potions classroom to meet with Slughorn before the summer vacation began. After that she would begin her sixth year. If she even made it that far.
Olive questioned if she was dying. Her skin had always been pale but now it was almost see through. Her dark circles were darker than ever before, her cheeks were sunken and her hair was bristle and messy. Oh, and she had lost a lot of weight. With no apatite, even when she was scheduling her meals three times a day, she rarely got just about enough into her system to be able to not faint again.
Even if she was to stuff herself with all of her favourite foods, she couldn't enjoy it. Olive didn't really like anything now, much less taste anything. And, she couldn't feel if she was full or not.
"Miss Evans!"
Olive was surprised at Slughorn's reaction to seeing her. He had never been this happy to see her. "Professor," she nodded politely as she walked over to where he was sat at his desk.
"Take a seat," he motioned to the wooden chair with his hand, a smile on his face. She complied and waited for him to speak again. She didn't have to wait long. "I must say I'm impressed." She looked at him questioningly. "Your scores on your OWL exam exceeded my expectations greatly, I must say." He smiled at her, waiting for her to react.
"Is that my grade?" She asked, confused.
Slughorn's smile faltered, "yes. It is" Olive only nodded, which didn't seem to make sense to the older Professor. "Are you not . . . satisfied?" He asked.
"Oh, I am." Olive said before giving him her best smile. It was weak and didn't reach her eyes.
Slughorn frowned slightly, "are you feeling alright, Miss Evans?"
"Yes. I am okay." She replied robotically.
"Okay then," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Is there anything else?"
"No, you are dismissed." He nodded.
The door slammed shut behind her. Olive pondered for a second if she should climb seven flights of stairs and chill in the Room of Requirement, not wanting to deal with people.
But she didn't have the energy, so, she walked into the Slytherin common room and didn't even glance in the direction of where Severus and his crowd of future death eaters stood, mumbling about something. That was, until she heard his voice.
Regulus was talking to Evan Rosier with a permanent frown on his face. Ivan Avery was scowling at him as he talked, standing threateningly right behind Rosier.
Rosier said something to Regulus, which made him sneer and take out his wand, "don't you ever think for a second that you're better than me, Rosier." His voice was smooth and condescending. "The only reason I accepted was because Slughorn described it as a good opportunity for my future plans. I am a Black. My family owns yours. Don't forget that." He answered loudly enough for Olive to overhear.
"Don't tell me you've grown fond of her?" Rosier commented, glaring daggers at him. "You think —"
Regulus scoffed and interrupted him, "she's a filthy mudblood. Unworthy of even being here in the first place. That's what I think." Rosier seemed satisfied with that answer, and smirked. He then noticed Olive stood by the couch, watching them. His smirk grew into a sinister one.
When Regulus followed his gaze, he finally noticed her. For a second, he looked surprised, and then a little worried, but, with the crowd currently surrounding him, he made his expression stoic and cold.
"You look like shit, Evans." Avery commented with a condescending smile.
"Yeah, horrible." Rosier agreed.
"You too," Olive replied. "Like those inbred royals with deformities."
Regulus cracked a smile at that, while Avery and Rosier's smiles both dropped. Without another word, she entered her dormitories.
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"Oh I've missed you two so much!" Rosemary cooed, bringing her two daughters in for a warm hug. She kissed them multiple times on their cheeks all the while tears were pouring down her cheeks.
"Mum, why are you crying?" Asked Lily, concerned.
Rosemary just waved her hand dismissively, "oh it's just been so empty without you two."
"She's been nagging all year. Even though we saw you for Christmas." Richard, their father, who was stood a few meters away chimed in. When they had first arrived on the platform, he had seemed to be too busy eating his chocolate ice cream to notice that his daughters had arrived.
"Richard!" Her mother had hissed, waving the man over.
Their father had hummed, not looking up to see what his wife wanted. Instead, he was trying to stop his ice cream — which was melting rapidly — from getting on his Hawaiian shirt.
"My god, dad —" said Lily, grimacing. "What the bloody hell are you wearing?"
Finally, Richard Evans looked up and spotted his daughters. "My little Lilyflower!" He beamed, wrapping his long arms around her. "And my Olive!"
Olive noticed as her father hugged Lily, that he was focusing his attention on the dripping ice cream, instead of Lily's tight hug.
"Olive!" A voice called out from behind her.
When she turned around, she spotted Remus and James walking towards her. Only Remus was waving however.
She put on a smile as she greeted him, "Hi, Rem and Jamie!"
He stopped right in front of her while James stopped in front of Lily, who's cheeks had become pink. They smiled at each other and began to talk about something Olive wasn't interested in hearing about, Remus held out a paper bag towards her. "Here," he said, smiling.
"What is it?" She asked, eyeing it curiously. She peaked inside, and smirked. "No way!"
Remus chuckled, nodding. "I remembered them just in time. If Jamieboy here hadn't reminded me, I would've completely forgotten."
She smiled at the usage of her made up nickname.
"What is it?" Lily asked, confused.
"It's —" she glanced at James briefly and reached her hand into the bag. "Necklace trinklets."
Remus looked at Lily as Olive examined the different rings in her hand. "My dad is mates with a guy who makes customisable jewellery. When I told Olive, she was really excited —"
"When was this?" Lily interrupted.
"Like . . . over a year ago, I think." Remus reminisced, glancing subtly at Olive as she examined them. "She begged me to ask my dad if he could make something for us. Like — all of us —" he shrugged.
"Who's all of us?" Lily asked, looking down at the rings Olive was holding.
"James," Olive pointed to the golden antler in her palm, "Sirius and Remus," she pointed to a silver paw print and silver heart, "of course." She finished. "And then this one is yours — obviously." Said Olive, absentmindedly as she pointed out a small golden lily. "And me."
Hers was a golden lock.
"But that still leaves one trinket?" Said Lily, counting them. "what is it?"
"Peter isn't getting one?" Remus asked in confusion.
"No," Olive responded, quickly. "He probably doesn't want one."
"Did you even ask?" Said Lily.
Olive looked at her coldly and didn't respond.
"Well there's six trinkets, maybe —" James chimed in, chuckling.
Olive closed her fist, and harshly pushed all of the trinkets back into the bag Remus had given her. "Oops," she shrugged.
James furrowed his brows in confusion. "Uh, okay. . . Well, bye then?"
"Bye," said Remus with a shy wave.
"Bye." Olive said quickly, giving them a fake smile.
What was that?" Lily asked her, frowning.
"What was what?" Olive responded with and then walked away from her.
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Olive felt very isolated. She has thought that for a second, if she were to go back to the place she called home in this reality, that the feelings would be reduced. If only a little bit.
But, the feelings of not belonging were just as definite here, if not more so. When she was surrounded by her family and had failed to chime in on their laughter and conversation in the car ride towards their home, she realised that yes, she truly did not belong here.
Her mother, the woman that had given birth to her was nothing more than a stranger now. And her father, who she had watched enjoy chocolate more than the birth of his twin daughters, was just another person. She didn't feel any particular way about them. If she were to pass them on the street, with or without their memories together, she wouldn't bat an eye their way.
It would have scared her. Could she feel fear.
She stood in the doorway of it now, examining every little detail and item that her eye could see. She had a memory attached to every single thing. And yet, the memories were distant.
Up until she had turned four and a half years old, Olive had had to deal with sharing a room with her borderline insomniac of a twin sister. The girl often imagined that if she hadn't been born with the mind of a teenage girl living in the 21st century — that she would have been the same as little beautiful Lily Evans.
Needy, blissful, happy, innocent.
She gazed over at the family photo that hung at the foot of her bed, simultaneously letting go of her heavy suitcase that she had sneakily hovered up the flight of stairs inside of her family home. It thumped down next to her.
She walked over to where the framed family photo hung, putting down Reggie — who was asleep in his cage — by the foot of her bed in the process. The photograph contained her, Rosemary, Richard, Lily and Petunia on her and Lily's shared fifth birthday. On that day in mid January, everybody had been happy. Even their grumpy older sister Petunia Evans had been joyful and caring at that time because Lily hadn't started to show obvious sings of magic yet.
Olive trailed her slender fingers over the glass.
"Liv!" Lily swung the door to Olive's room open and stopped in the entrance, her hand still on the handle. "Mum asked what we wanted for dinner. I said lasagna but she insisted I ask what you want."
Olive looked at her twin, "yeah, lasagna's fine."
Lily looked back at her, scratching at a spot just above her right eyebrow. "You okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Olive asked, breaking eye contact and glancing over at yet another family photo. This one stood on her desk, and was just of her and her parents. She picked it up and inspected it closely, trailing one of her fingers over her parents faces, "I'm just tired."
"Yeah, sure." Lilt said in a tone that sounded disbelieving. "I'll tell mum to make lasagna then."
"Yeah," Olive replied absentmindedly.
Lily shut the door on her way out.
Olive put the photo of her and her parents back on her desk. A prowling sense of dread was creeping up on her, and she shook her shoulders uncomfortably as a response. Before she knew it, she had the wind knocked out of her.
It all happened very quickly. Her vision blurred, and then turned black. She felt the warmth of her room leave her, and instead was replaced by another familiar, much less pleasant feeling of cold but comfortable air.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she looked up, examining her surroundings with quickness. She was stood in the familiar field of lily flowers. It was empty, except for the large oak tree.
"Greetings again."
She didn't know what to feel now. . . whenever she had a meeting with Thanatos. It didn't feel warm, like how it had felt when she first arrived in the field of lilies. It wasn't cold either, like it had been a couple of times. It felt, sort of, stuffed.
"Death," she greeted, her mouth unbelievingly dry. "Why am I here?"
"You tell me,"
Death had apparently decided to not show themselves. There wasn't anyone except for her, standing in the field this time. There was no terrifying cloaked figure. It was just, empty.
The voice of death seemed to come from all angles. Above, below, in front, behind. . .
"I hate this," she sighed, sitting down."I'm feeling empty. . . why is that?"
"Maybe you're disconnecting yourself," the voice said.
"I don't want to," she said, putting her face in her hands. Her face was wet. She was crying. "But everything feels fake. Like I'm in a story." She sniffed, her nose running. But she didn't feel sad. "Maybe I am. I mean, I'm in the bloody Harry Potter universe. I've got magic, for fucks sake."
"You had magic before this world," the voice said almost immediately, making Olive remember Salem.
She let a few tears fall dow her cheeks before wiping them away. "My friends don't feel like my friends anymore."
"How so?"
"They just feel like characters I'm trying to save," she sighed. "Tell me, Thanatos. . . have I changed anything?"
"You tell me," the voice said.
"I haven't, have I? I've just hurried everything along." She scoffed, "except for relationships. I've probably screwed things up there."
"Why would you think that?"
"Can't you give me advice or something? Why are you just asking me things!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Tell me to do something? Or confirm if I'm doing something right! Or wrong — just give me a sign or something!"
"That's not what I'm here for, young one." The voice sighed.
Olive let out a frustrated scream. "Nothing feels real, Thanatos! Please — who am I?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing is real," she mumbled.
"Is that how you feel?"
"Yes!" She cried out, her entire body. "I've tried to deny it! But — Lily is too much like Lily! And everything is happening just like it's supposed to! Severus is bitter and hateful towards the Marauders . . . and. . . and the Marauders hate him, which — speaking of — they're just like they were in the books. Even though we didn't get a lot of descriptions of them, they're still just like they were! Nothings changed! Remus is just as kind as he was in the books! James and Sirius are still the infamous pranksters they were before, and Peter — gosh! Peter is still a coward! He's shy, and hides behind James and Sirius! I mean, It's all too much!"
"Fate is. . . Inevitable."
"Fate?" She scoffed. "The only thing that feels outside of the storyline is Regulus. He's not a death eater. He's not going down that road anymore,"
"But you were going to let him go down that road,"
"What?" She asked with furrowed brows. "I wasn't!"
"You're going to let him become a death eater, just like in the story." The voice confirmed.
Olive shook her head, in denial. "It's not like that! He won't be devoted to Voldemort like he was!"
"He was always going to defy the dark Lord, Olive Evans."
"But it's different," Olive argued. "Right?"
"You have changed nothing,"
"What?"
"Isn't that what you think?" The voice asked.
"I- I don't know —"
"You think you've changed nothing," the voice said.
"I haven't," she sniffled, wiping her running nose on her robes.
"You have changed nothing," the voice repeated.
Then what do you want me to do?" She sobbed. "You told me to change things. But — how?"
"I can't tell you that, Olive Evans." The voice replied, it's tone displaying genuine sadness. "I wish I could. But the only way — is to remember." the echoing melodic voice was now behind her.
She turned around and flinched, instinctively looking down at the lilies. He was visible now. "How do I remember?"
The being clicked it's non-existent tongue in pretend sadness, "still finding it difficult to look at me?"
She cracked a smile and wiped away a few still falling tears, "I can't help it. You're — out of this world."
"So are you," said Thanatos.
"Yes but I'm still human."
The being stayed silent for a few seconds. "Yes," it then responded.
Olive looked up, although rather hesitantly. The needle-like mist that formed a tall figure was standing still. Well, as still as it could be while the needles prickled the cape containing it.
"Why am I here?" She asked finally, feeling a bit embarrassed over her outburst.
"For another life lesson," it responded.
She gritted her teeth as goosebumps engulfing her entire body.
Once more, the breath was knocked out of her.
"Fuck me," she breathed out. "I'll never get used to that." She opened her eyes, and was immediately taken aback by how bright everything was. They stood on the other side of what looked like a very clean railway. Facing them were tall buildings, beige, white, glassed.
"Look around."
She did. Behind them, was the complete opposite of what was in front of them. It was green. There were tall trees overgrown and fenced in by large metal rods. The sky was the most surprising part of this reality however. It was a beige brown, almost matching the buildings now behind her. Her green eyes landed on Thanatos, who was now human. He stood beside her as a tall middle-aged woman with a perfectly cut bob. He wore a white suite that fit the figure of his human body perfectly.
"Wow," she said, whistling and turning to face the sad buildings. "Who's that babe you're dressed up as?"
"Your mother in this life," Thanatos responded.
Olive grimaced, "ew!"
Suddenly, something sped past her at an unnaturally fast speed. Her curly hair flew up at the near impact, landing in front of her face.
"Japan, mars 1st 2170."
She had gasped and jumped back at the sudden movement in front of her "what the hell was that?" She asked in utter bewilderments she looked down the long railway and saw nothing. It was just as empty as it had been moments ago.
"A train," answered death.
"From the future." She gaped.
"The future, the past, the present . . ." said Thanatos, sounding bored. "It's all the same really."
He walked up the small hill that the railway was build upon and stepped over it with ease. Despite wearing 4 inch heels.
Olive followed.
They walked to the edge of the humongous city. As she gazed in at the tall buildings, they seemed never ending and despite every single on being unique — all the same.
"Here we are." Said Thanatos." Pointing to one of the first buildings she had seen. It was beige, square and dull. "This is where the lawyers work."
"Looks . . . like all of the others."
"Yes. Minimalism is timeless as they say."
There seemed to be some sort of amusement in Thanatos' voice, yet his voice — which was now a woman's — remained monotoned.
"Ah," he said, stopping in front of a particularly boring building. "Here we are."
Olive looked around with a grimace on her face. "What's this building then?"
"You don't recognise it?" He asked. The face he wore smiled at her.
"You know I don't."
"Yes, let's enter."
He entered first by pressing on what seemed to be a particularly large square on the building. The square lifted lightly off of the wall and slid to the right, revealing an entrance.
"Epic," the redhead mumbled, following right behind death. Inside, the walls remained a minimalistic, beige marble. The hallway, roof to the floors where all the same, and where it not for tiny, rounded pieces of different wood on display across the walls, Olive's sense of direction would've seriously been effected. On some parts of the square marble walls, there were numbers.
The entire building reminded her of those padded rooms in insane asylums.
"Enter here, Olive Evans." Said Thanatos suddenly. He had stopped in front of numbers 468 and was looking at her in anticipation.
She gulped. She really did not want to watch and feel herself die today. It had not exactly been on her list of 'fun things to do over summer'.
"Great." She said, her voice accidentally breaking. She cleared it quickly, and walked to stand right in front of the numbers. She felt awkward, "how do I —"
Thanatos interrupted her by grabbing her thumb and pressing just below the number '8'. The door levitated off the wall like it had done outside, and slid to the left. She glanced at death hesitantly before stepping inside.
Screaming could be heard.
"— in this world, Akaru! There's no hope in it!"
Olive walked inside of a large furnished room. It was . . . Neutral. Despite there being no windows within the room, there was natural lighting from all angles. The sofa located in the corner of the room was a soft beige. The table in front of it was made entirely out of glass and it was empty except for a single vase that stood in the middle of it. The vase was empty.
As she walked further into the spaced room she noticed the open kitchen. The benches were marble and grey, almost metallic.
"I can't live like this —" there was a woman in the middle of the room, pacing around in distress. She was tall, very slender and wearing a white tank top and a pair of matching joggers. She paused mid sentence, as if listening to someone speak. "You know why." Said the woman. She ran a hand through her black hair, which was cut short and began to pace around, much less passionately than before. "I've lived enough lives to know what it means to be alive."
Olive frowned.
"No." Said the woman much more silently than before. She was still now. "I'm turning into one of them. My emotions are fading —" she paused. "I know what I have to do Akaru but it's making me . . ." She took a deep breath. "Yes." She nodded. "Mhm."
The girl turned around, finally allowing Olive to take a look at her. She felt her breath get caught in her throat. The woman was her age. Or, the age she was now as Olive. And, she had the same eyes as her.
Not exactly. This woman was Japanese and looked nothing like her. Dark hair and eyes, tanned and unfreckled skin. Yet they held the same darkness as hers did when she stared into the mirror. Yes, it was like staring into a mirror.
The woman sat down on the sofa and hugged her knees close to her chest.
"But it's making me — no, listen to me — Akaru, I can't continue draining things," she said, growing more frustrated with every word, "fine." She let her feet drop to the floor and took something out of her ear.
Olive walked over and looked at what she was holding in the palm of her hand. It was an earpiece. Before the redhead could inspect it further, it was thrown to the ground and the girl let out a frustrated scream.
Olive jumped back at the sudden noise.
"Her name is Jun. Or, should I say your name is Jun."
Olive looked at Thanatos, who was staring at Jun with a fond smile on his face. It was the first time she had seen him express any sort of genuine feeling towards a being.
"What's so special about her?" Olive asked.
"In this lifetime, you did your assigned job well."
"My assigned job?" She frowned. "What do you —"
"You are not here to have a conversation with me, Olive Evans. You are here to inspect and learn." Thanatos did not even look her way.
Jun stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen with heavy steps and opened one of the grey kitchen drawers. She took out what looked like a metal can and opened it. Inside was a dark green liquid, which Jun proceeded to chug all in one. She finished by smashing the can onto the counter and staring into nothing.
"Gross."
Jun then looked to her left, at the empty marbled wall. She slowly walked over to it, and pressed her hand to it. Once more, it levitated and slid open. Inside were many items of clothing; all sad and in neutral colours.
She picked out a long sleeved shirt and paired it with a pair of loose fitted pants, both items were different shades of white. The closet closed automatically as she began to walk very quickly over to her front door. She tapped at the wall closest to the doorknob, which opened a small hole in the wall. Olive did not have time to see what was inside, but as Jun got out a pair of slip on shoes she didn't need to take a guess. Jun opened the door and was out of the apartment quicker than Olive could react.
The redhead followed her.
Jun walked up the streets without looking at her surroundings. The streets were mostly empty but every now and again, a singular person dressed similarly to Jun would pass by. They glanced her way, but said nothing.
Olive followed behind the girl until they got to the edge of a small, cubed building. Once they got past that, nothing was the same. The dull, clean stress turned darker. And while they weren't nearly as dirty and unclean as they were in the reality Olive currently lived in, it was a dramatic change.
Jun looked both ways, before pressing a hand to the cubed building and entering.
"Good morning," she bowed her head respectfully as she entered the building.
"Aah, good morning!" A short man walked up to greet her. "What can I do for you?"
"The usual." Said Jun politely.
The man's fond smile darkened ever so slightly. "I recall hearing you mention something about the last one being the last job."
"Yes well . . ." She trailed off awkwardly. "Other work is hard to get."
"That is true," said the man sombrely. "It is a man in his late thirties. This is the address."
"Thank you," Jun grabbed the small paper note that was handed to her, scanned the contents quickly and then stuffed it in her pocket. "He's rich."
"Have a nice day." Said the man, simply.
"You too."
Olive followed Jun to the edge of town. The dark-haired girl stopped dead in her tracks at the sidewalk across the gate containing the blooming greenery.
"What is she doing?" Olive asked no one in particular. "Why is she just standing — no scratch that, why are we just standing here?"
Jun crossed the road very slowly, all the while looking around rapidly at the gate. When Olive stepped closer to her, she noticed that the girl was whispering, "please, please, please," repeatedly under her breath.
Jun reached a hand out to touch the greenery, some of which was peeking out between the metal bars. But when she did, the plants evaded her.
She let out a disappointed sigh and huffed in frustration.
"Did the plants just avoid her touch?" Olive asked, stunned.
"Not the plants themselves," answered Thanatos. "There is a shield around them. Put in place so that humans can't destroy them."
"Strange." Said the redhead. But then, she snapped her head to look at Thanatos, "Did she not know that?"
"Jun knows very well. But, like all things in this world, it has its weak points. Perhaps she thought this was one of them."
"What was she going to do if it was?"
Thanatos shrugged, "that, you will just have to find out for yourself."
Olive let out a frustrated groan. "How bothersome!"
Having had all of her attention focused on Thanatos, Olive had not noticed that Jun had began to continue down the street. She only noticed when the girl walked into her vision, her pace much quicker now.
Olive jogged after her, even more confused now. They did not walk for long before they stopped in front of a building that resembled a giant steel bolt. Jun once again looked down at the note that had been handed to her by the man in the shop and then without hesitation, proceeded into the building.
Olive followed. Inside, the building looked entirely made out of glass. The hallway had chairs and tables, all made of either white marble or glass.
Jun walked with silent and careful steps. The lighting inside was dimmed and yellow, much like everything else in this timeline.
"I have a bad feeling about this." Olive whispered to Thanatos. She did not look away from Jun.
From herself.
It all happened so very quickly.
There was a clinkering of glasses somewhere out of sight, Jun pressed herself up against the wall but continued ahead.
"Yes. The clients said the girls were satisfactory." The man was speaking English. "Yes, yes." The man chuckled. "Thank you, you're too generous."
Jun was quick. She ran towards the man before Olive could even catch a glimpse of him. The man had turned around at the noise of approaching footsteps, but didn't have time to react.
Olive had thought that she would have jumped on him. Attacked him in some sort of manner.
But all Jun did was grab his face tightly with her hands, and he let out a deep groan. Olive walked slowly forward to watch, horrified. The man's eyes had rolled to the back of his head, his mouth was wide open and his entire body was stiff. All of a sudden, his knees gave out from under him and he fell forward slightly. Due to Jun's tight grip on the man's head, he was now on his knees.
"What is she doing?" Olive shakily asked, walking closer. She felt her heart sink into her stomach.
The man's face had aged a decade in just a couple of seconds and was becoming more wrinkly and withered by the minute. What was happening to him was the opposite of what was happening to Jun.
She was blooming. The life in her eyes was returning.
"She's sucking the life out of him." Olive whispered. She wanted to cry, yet, she couldn't.
Olive watched as the man let out one last pained groan, and then turned limp. He was now nothing but bone and skin. She released his grip on him.
The sound as he met the floor was sickening.
"She . . ." Olive looked away from the man and at Jun.
She looked radiant. And, pulsating energy was pricking around her fingertips. When Olive focused her senses, she saw that the energy was a striking green.
Olive once more felt as if the air inside of her lungs dissipated and she was knocked backwards a few steps, landing conveniently on her bed. She gasped, sitting up.
She did not know why Thanatos had shown her what he had. Or, perhaps she did, she just didn't want to admit it. It was however a surprise that she hadn't watched herself die in a horrible manner this time. A rather positive surprise, she'd say.
Olive sat up in a daze, her ears buzzing. The sight of the dried out man on the marble was as clear as ever in her mind.
After a few seconds of buzzing silence, Olive stood. She had an idea. Jun had attempted something before she had went to the man's residence. Was there a reason for that?
Olive Evans walked to stand in the center of her room. It was silent, the only sounds being distant chatter and clanking of pots and pans from the kitchen downstairs. Olive slowly removed her jean jacket and threw it down on her bed. She rolled her shoulders back, stretched her fingers out and focused on controlling her breathing. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, wiggled her outstretched fingers and started to feel the air around her.
At first, she felt nothing. The space around her was empty and cold.
She began to wonder if what she was doing was pointless.
But after a while, the air surrounding her entire body started to change and become thicker. She could feel a familiar sense of warmth overcome her and let out a slow breath of relief, opening her eyes.
The different colors were beautiful. She could see them all around. All the same texture Jun had had around her fingers afterwards. However now, she could see everything. It flowed through thee potted plant that stood in her window, melted into the floors and walls of her home. It lived in the furniture, and moved in waves around the air aurrounding her.
It clicked then. It was at times like these that she felt real. It was only when magic was around her that she felt like she belonged in this world. Without it — without this kind of magic — she felt numb.
Olive stared at the different colors as if it was the first time she had ever seen them, continuing to move the thick air surrounding her around, mending it to her liking. Her eyes landed on the family photo on her desk. She surveyed the buzzing movement of the invisible light around it and stretched a hand out grabbing at it slowly. She turned her palm up, and could feel as if the object was in her hand.
It was just as easy as breathing.
She lifted the photo off the desk and started to twirl it around with the simple movement of her index and fourth finger. With a small smirk on he lips, she stopped moving the photograph, gazed away from it and right at the potted plant stood in her window. Olive took slow and steady steps towards it and with her other hand proceeded to gently touch one of its lively green leaves. She watched with great interest as the orange energy that flowed through it connected with hers. It started to move in rhythm with her magic. When she applied pressure and pushed energy into it, the plant flourished and grew. But when she retracted the energy into herself and watched the power within it be transferred into her . . . she let a silent gasp escape her lips at the euphoric feeling.
She had never taken drugs before, at least not in this life or as Y/n, but she imagined it would feel something like what she was feeling right now. Scratch that, she knew what she was feeling now was even better.
But as the color inside of the plant completely vanished, something seemed to click in Olive's mind and she widened her eyes in panic. The red headed girl took multiple quick steps back, tripping on the circled carpet in the middle of her room and catching herself on her desk. A few items on her desk fell upon the sudden impact, clattering onto the wooden floor. She quickly looked back up at the plant — which was now withered to the point of being almost completely incinerated. The only sign that anything had ever been there, was it's dry crumbling carcass in process of being turned to dust.
She clenched her jaw and stood up straighter. Olive stretched her fingers and breathed in sharply at the elated feeling of an extra source of power mixing with her own.
"Olive?"
The curly redhead swirled around quickly at the sound of her mothers voice just outside of her door. There were two quick soft knocks, before the door started to open slightly.
"Yeah, what is it?" Olive said in panic while she searched her room with wide eyes for any sign of something behind out of the ordinary, "mum." Olive froze, realising that the word didn't sound foreign to her anymore. She gazed up and watched as Rosemary Evans opened the door fully.
"Are you alright? I heard a crash —"
Olive attacked her mother in a hug before she could so much as get another word out. "I'm okay," she said, burying her face into the crook of her neck. She breathed in the familiar scent of cinnamon and felt herself starting to cry.
"Liv?" Rosemary asked carefully, attempting to gently part from the hug so that she could get a better look at her daughters face. Olive refused to let go however, and only hugged tighter. "Are you alright, darling?"
Olive took a deep breath in and finally parted from the hug, quickly wiping away the tears on her cheeks. "Reggie fell." She blurted out, saying the first thing that popped into her head.
"Your cat fell?" Rosemary's green eyes travelled over to his cage, which was still zipped shut.
"Yeah," Olive trailed off. "He's in his cage now. I just put him in there since he's been a bit scared. I think it's because we've been moving around so much."
She wiped her cheeks once more.
There was a heavy silence that hung in the air between them.
"Alright," said Rosemary, totally not convinced. "If you say so. Supper is in half an hour. I'll call out for you. Don't make me come up here again, okay?"
"Yeah," Olive nodded affirmatively.
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Olive was sat on her bed in her room, too tired to move. It had been a week and five days since her discovery and she couldn't get over how good she felt. Even when she didn't feel good (at night she couldn't stop herself from hyperventilating and crying at the thought of how badly and uncaring she had been towards her friends) she still felt things.
But one thing was for sure. The feeling was slowly starting to fade. It was very little, but, the glow she had gotten from the plant had weakened. It was barely noticeable, but, she had noticed.
Olive didn't know for sure, but she'd bet that the plants magic would be completely gone in three or four months.
This meant that she would have to keep repeating what she had done . . over and over for the rest of her life.
She was startled by the sound a door slamming shut from downstairs.
"Stop slamming doors, I'm trying to study!" Petunia screeched loudly from inside of her room on the second floor.
Olive scoffed and rolled her eyes, knowing full well she wasn't. Instead Petunia was most definitely snogging her snobby new boyfriend, Vernon Dursley.
"Sorry!" Lily called from downstairs.
"Petunia, please don't shout —" Richard, her dad, tried to yell back nicely, his bedroom being located right in front of his oldest daughters.
Olive and Lily's bedrooms were down another hall on the second floor, luckily.
"Shut up, dad!"
Olive grinned as she heard the door to their father's study being opened, two quick footsteps and another door being opened. "You don't talk to me that way — Petunia!" Richard gasped. "What in god's forgiving name is going on here?"
Olive stood up from her bed and walked quickly across her room. She opened her door and walked down the hallway, spotting Richard, who was stood in Petunia's doorway, lecturing the two older teenagers on 'proper behaviour and no sex until marriage'. Petunia in return was throwing a hissy fit about having 'no privacy.
The young redhead skipped down the stairs and entered the living room area. She hard Lily and her mother laughing in the kitchen, but didn't bother to look.
She had other plans.
Without much thought, she opened the front door telepathically and slammed it shut behind her.
She needed to search for a place where she could get magic from plants. She didn't want it to be noticed by anyone however, so this little mission was secret and very much improvised.
Rosemary Evans had entered the living room through their open kitchen when Olive had swung the front door shut, "where is she going?" She had asked her youngest daughter as she passed her and turned the knob to the front door. Lily only shrugged in response. "Where do you think you're going?" She shouted after her third daughter. "Olive Marguerite Evans — you get back here —" She paused for a few seconds, before she started stuttering.
"What's wrong mum?" Lily asked, looking up from the magazine she had been reading.
"She — I — what?"
"What did she do?" Lily walked over to the front door slowly, and stared out at the street. It was empty, but her mother kept looking at a singular spot in their driveway.
"She disappeared. . . just — poof— vanished — gone!" Rosemary threw her arms around in the air, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
"She, apparated?" Lily asked, dropping her magazine in amazement. "But you can't . . oh, why am I even surprised anymore?" She said, picking up her magazine from the floor and walking over to the kitchen, unbothered.
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"Lily,"
The redhead twirled around quickly upon hearing her name being called by a familiar voice. She was currently sat under a tree, half-resting and half-trying to figure out what she should be reading up on for the upcoming Ordinary Wizarding Exams she was supposed to be taking this year.
Severus Snape walked to sit next to her. "What are you doing?"
"Reading." Said Lily absentmindedly. She fiddled with the top corner of the page she was currently on, deep in thought.
"What's on your mind?" Severus asked, leaning forward slightly to get a better view at her face. Considering she was leaning on the trunk of the tree, he didn't need to lean forward much. "I can see that something is bothering you." Lily opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off, "and I know it's not your studies."
Lily closed her mouth, admitting defeat. "It's Olive."
Severus' mood seemed to darken at the mentioning of her twin sisters name, and he stopped leaning forward to look at her and copied her by leaning back on the tree trunk. "What about her?"
Lily glanced sideways at him. "What's going on between you two?"
"Nothing." He answered curtly.
Lily closed her book and put it down on the grass to the right of her. "We used to all be best friends."
"Best friends is pushing it," Severus scoffed.
"No it's not. You were fascinated by her magical ability and used to ask her all sorts of questions . . ."
"I was young and foolish."
"Why was that foolish?" Lily huffed, "it was cute. You and me both looked up to her and would always watch what she was doing." She chuckled a little. "I remember multiple times when I used to come out to play and all you wanted to do was to see what she was up too —"
"I was young and foolish." Severus snapped.
Lily flinched at the harshness in his voice. "What happened between you two?" When she didn't receive an answer for a few seconds, she sighed, "Olive said you just grew apart but I think it's more than that."
"Grew apart." Severus repeated bitterly under his breath. "I suppose."
"What do you mean I suppose?" Lily inquired, sitting up straighter.
Severus glanced back at her, his gaze somewhat cold at first. When he looked at her for longer than a glance, his eyes softened, "let's talk about something else."
Lily rolled her eyes playfully, "something else meaning my complains about my sister instead of yours?"
Severus chuckled, nodding. "Precisely."
Lily let a soft laugh escape her and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. "She's doing great."
Severus quirked a brow at her curiously, "great?"
Lily looked at him, nodding. "Yes, I mean it. Shes acting just like she used to. It's like before . . . before she became all weird and distant. I don't know, something's changed."
Severus picked at the grass next to him, "changed?"
"She's happier. More alert and a lot more comfortable around us. She's like she used to be. I mean, she's even started to explore her sense of style, something she didn't even do before. . . before her weirdness."
"So why are you out here then?" Severus asked, genuinely curious. "It's what you've been wishing for, so, why are you out here and not wherever she's at?"
"I —" Lily seemed unable to answer the question. Her emerald green eyes moved around rapidly, as if she was searching the air for an answer. "I don't know."
"Maybe you've finally grown tired of her suddenly treating you differently depending on the day." He said, facing away from her.
Lily gazed at him sympathetically. "So that's why you're no longer friends?" She asked quietly, putting a comforting hand on his arm.
Severus shrugged. "Amongst other things." he said monotoned.
Lily removed her hand from his arm. She didn't like it when he spoke without emotion like that. It reminded her of how he was at Hogwarts with his friends. Cold, distant, troubled.
"Besides," Severus said, his tone equally as cold and distant as before. "I don't need her guidance anymore. I can do anything she can do."
Lily frowned at that, "what do you mean?"
"It's nothing."
She wanted to interrogate him further and find out what exactly he meant by 'do anything she can do'. Olive had not been shy to show how easy creating a spell was to her. Even though creating a working spell was not something just any ordinary witch or wizard could do, it somehow didn't seem like Olive thought it was a very huge accomplishment.
Everyone always praised her though. Not to her face, but people at Hogwarts whispered amongst each other and some had even placed bets on who she would become in the future.
Probably someone of historical importance. Lily thought so too.
The young redhead hugged her legs closer to her, clenching her jaw and cursing at herself for feeling so jealous. Everyone liked her. Her twin sister, the more confident, headstrong, magically talented and opinionated Evans. Lily didn't mind the fact at first. It had always been clear from the start that her and Olive were different from each other. Olive did whatever she felt like doing. She didn't care about how she looked, at least not like Lily did.
She didn't care how she acted in front of others, at least not like Lily did.
She said whatever was on her mind.
Lily Evans didn't do that.
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It was now growing close to the end of summer break and Olive found herself feeling a lot more hopeful about it. She had dreaded her fifth year . . . perhaps it had been because of the fact that she had nearly killed Dumbledore and the time he had was running out. She couldn't believe that she had spent 16 years in the body of Olive Evans now, and finally, after a year of feeling like didn't belong, she felt so good. She looked forward to this year, because now — she felt like herself again. No, not herself . . . better.
The date was august 29th, and the Evans family (excluding Petunia of course) were currently driving into London for their annual school supply shopping.
Olive would have to get a pair of new shoes and a new robe since the one she had been wearing for the past two years had accidentally shrunken three sizes in the brand new, excessively over pensive washing machine her parents had invested in.
"Alright, we've got exactly three hours to spare before we need to leave." Said their father, Richard Evans. He slammed the car door to their blue Ford Cortina and glanced down at his wrist watch.
"Three hours?" Lily whined as she stepped out of the vehicle. "but I'm supposed to be meeting up with Mary and Alice!"
"We'll we would've had more time to spend if you hadn't taken you so long to get ready this morning." Olive sassed as she stretched her arms above her head. She then let her arms drop to her sides and proceeded to ruffle her already crazy poofed-up hair.
"Please will you let me tame that crazy mane of yours, Olive." Rosemary Evans sighed as she walked over and reached her hands out to attempt to touch her hair.
"Mum, it's not a crazy mane it's fashionable —" Olive responded, ducking away from her.
"In what world?" Lily chimed in, dressed in a flower-patterned sleeveless jumperdress with a white turtleneck underneath, colourful turquoise tights and a pair of low leather slip ons she looked straight out of a fashion magazine. She had straightened her hair enough so that any volume that had once been near her scalp had disappeared. She had done her makeup to match her turquoise tights. Turquoise eyeshadow, thick eyeliner, lots of mascara and a nude lip.
It was polar opposite of how Olive looked. With fluffy untamed curls, no eyeshadow, pale under eyes, spidery lashes and a dark red lip. She was wearing a pair of high waisted flared-jeans, a red short-sleeved turtleneck and a pair of leather platforms.
Olive held a hand to shield her eyes from the sun and gazed over the buzzing London street. The Leaky Cauldron was not even a five minute walk from where they currently were, but still, having spent almost an entire summer without being surrounded by little to no magic it felt like miles away.
"Well, I have to get going.'' said Lily, letting out a long breathe of exhale. ''Bye mum, dad.''
''Three hours,'' their father reminded them.
''So, where to?'' Olive asked, following in hot pursuit as she had started to walk towards where the Leaky Cauldron was located.
Lily stopped walking and turned around to face her twin sister. ''Well, I'm supposed to be meeting my friends.''
''Right. Mary." She droned. Lily looked at her with a look that said 'stop that'. The curly redhead sighed, "well I guess I'll manage."
''Alone.'' Lily clarified, looking rather awkward.
Olive bit the inside of her cheek and nodded dismissively. ''Yeah, of course.'' she clapped her hands together, ''I've got this — uh — this thing I have to do anyway.''
''Great.'' said Lily with a genuine smile. The redhead then turned around and begun to walk again.
Olive stayed where she stood for a few seconds, thinking. She did not in fact, have a 'thing' that she needed to do or any plans for that matter. Rather, she had expected to spend some awesome-bonding-sister-quality-time with Lily, since Olive had accidentally started to shut herself off again.
But now she knew what she had to do to not feel that way ever again. It was different this time.
Olive watched with a fading smile as her twin walked with a pep in her step up the street towards the Leaky Cauldron. She looked around for her parents, but they had already disappeared as well. Thus, leaving her alone.
She slowly began to walk toward the Leaky Cauldron located between a bookshop and a newly opened record store.
The small dark, dingy inn was welcoming and bustling with witches and wizards. There were a group of witches from the countryside stood discussing the latest fashion right by the entrance: vulnerable looking wizards arguing over the latest article in the daily prophet. She overheard them mentioning something about multiple muggle killings, but chose to just brush past them towards the bricked wall out back.
She tapped the bricks with her wand, which she always carried around either tucked in her waistband or her sleeve. On rare occasions she would put it in her boot. That however, was only in case of an emergency.
She walked onto the old-fashioned street lined with quaint buildings that housed the familiar shops. They were all in full swing, the economy blooming. She had been given money, now all she had to do was check everything she needed off her list.
The list in her head that was. Lily was one to actually write down what she needed on a piece of paper, Olive was one to just . . . Wing it.
She passed a couple of cafes and restaurants and then proceeded to Madam Malkin's robes for all occasions. The bell jingled as she entered. Two younger girls were giggling and whispering to each other over a rather daring black dress that hung in the corner of the shop while madam Malkin herself was stood at the register, having just been handed galleons by an older girl with icy blonde hair.
"It's been a pleasure, Miss Black, please do return again." Said Madam Malkin.
The young blonde girl had her back towards Olive, so she couldn't see if the girl had even reacted to what the older woman had said. "Yes, well . . . goodbye."
When the blonde girl turned, Olive immediately recognised her as Narcissa Malfoy. She had graduated from Hogwarts last year, along with Lucius Malfoy and his platoon of violent blood supremacists.
She almost walked straight into Olive as she attempted to exit the shop. "Move," the blonde spat at her.
"You move," Olive countered. "There's enough space, isn't there?"
Narcissa Malfoy scoffed and then passed her, bumping shoulders as she did. Olive couldn't sworn she heard a certain slur be uttered to her but she ignored it and walked over to Madam Malkin.
"Hello, dear." The older woman greeted with a sympathetic smile, "what can I do for you?"
Olive returned the smile awkwardly, "well you see, I've outgrown my robes —"
"Oh, I'll get new fitted for you immediately." She said, circling around the register and walking deeper into her shop. "Come along — don't touch those dresses you two — ah, here we are." She was ushered up on a small podium and made to stand perfectly still as the older woman began to take her measurements.
It did not take long for Madam Malkin to finish taking her measurements and between scolding the two giggling schoolgirls poking around in the 'adult garment section', and seeing her a new pair of black school robes, she revealed very concerning information to Olive.
Three muggle families had been mysteriously murdered over the span of two weeks. It was clearly the work of wizards as there were no signs of a natural death.
"It was the death curse, no doubt about it. Oh those poor muggles — no way of defending themselves against such dark magic —" she clicked her tongue. "Two families were living near here and the third up in Manchester — I have relatives there, you know — yes, my mothers uncles younger sister and her family live up there — ah, here we are," she held the robes up for her to look over very quickly and then handed them to her. "That'll be seventeen galleons and four sickles."
They walked over to the register and Olive handed the woman the money. "Did the Daily Prophet mention that the muggle killings were connected?"
Madam Malkin shook her head, "they will be reporting on it soon though, I recon. I have a friend that works in at the Ministry and she says that the they are keeping it on the low since they don't want to cause a panic," the woman scoffed, "but I think not disclosing anything is making it worse!"
"Curiosity causes rumours," Olive whispered to herself.
"Right you are, child!" Madam Malkin said, having overheard her. "Now, scurry along, I have to search for those troublemakers that are in here somewhere. . ."
Olive exited the clothing shop and headed for Flourish and Blotts to get the books she needed for this year. On her way however, she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Strangely, she didn't wave.
James Potter was headed in her direction with a melting ice cream in his left hand. And walking beside him, laughing and cuddling in close was . . . Lily?
She also had ice cream in her hand, but hers wasn't melting as James' was. Olive stood watching them from beside Flourish and Blotts, unsure of what to do. When the pair got closer, Lily noticed her, but instead of waving her over with a smile, she turned back to James and pointed out the ice cream which had melted onto his hand. The boy began to take large bites of melting ice cream and transferred the cone into his other hand so that he could clean up the messy one. Lily laughed and glanced at Olive nervously, all the while she grabbed some napkins out of her tiny shoulder bag and handing them to him.
"I totally forgot I had ice cream in my hand," she heard James say over the bustling crowd of wandering people.
As if hearing his voice snapped her out of it, Olive walked forward towards them, "hello," She smiled.
Lily's laughter vanished into a tightlipped smile and she greeted her twin with a, "oh, hi Liv."
"Olive!" James said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
Olive frowned, "I was headed in to buy this year's school books?" She said as if it was a question.
"No, not here —" James laughed, motioning to Flourish and Blotts, "I mean at Diagon Alley. Lily didn't mention that you were here too."
When Olive glanced at her twin, she was helping James clean his hand as if it was a task that required her full attention, "yeah well, here I am. Sorry, am I interrupting something?" She motioned between the two of them, "Is this a date —"
"Oh no!" James said immediately, his cheeks reddening. He didn't seem to notice Lily's disappointed expression. Olive did however. "No, no, definitely not. Me and Lily are just friends."
"Oh," said the curly redhead, "well, I should get going. Tons of stuff to buy —" Olive attempted to disappear into a passing crowd that were entering Flourish and Blotts but James grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
"You can tag along with us if you want." He invited with an excited smile. There was a feeling of something else in his smile, but Olive couldn't quite put her finger on what that was.
"I don't want to impose —"
"Don't be silly," James chuckled, releasing his grip on her. "Come on. We were just on our way to buy our books too."
Olive glanced uncertainly at Lily, who was obviously avoiding eye contact with her. With no real reason to say no, Olive joined them. While Lily entered the store behind James. Olive entered after her.
"So," began James. "What have you been up to this summer, Liv?" The three of them walked over to a bookcase and stood under it searching for their needed books.
Olive shrugged and trailed her fingertips over a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, "nothing much. Although —" her excitement was unable to be contained, "I found out something really wicked about my magic."
"You did?" Lily asked, frowning.
Olive glanced back at her. Only then did she realise that her and James had begun to walk side by side, leaving Lily to trail behind them. Olive stopped, sneakily motioning for her sister to pass her. Lily didn't however. She remained behind them.
"Yeah," said Olive, continuing their slow walk down the long stretch of bookshelves. "I was going to show you but you haven't been around much."
"I've been enjoying my summer too," Lily said from behind them.
"With Severus," said Olive with a hint of amusement in her voice.
"Snivellus?" James grimaced.
"Don't call him that," Olive snapped at him. "He's her friend!"
"Merlin, I can't imagine being friends either that greaseball — no offence," he said, turning around to very quickly look at Lily.
"Don't, James." Lily said with a heavy sigh.
They began to pick out the books that they needed. James insisted to carry most of them, claiming 'it's what a gentleman does'.
Lily seemed to like it. Olive just found the fact that he started to struggle after awhile really entertaining to watch.
When they exited the shop onto the busy stoned streets and were just about to head in the direction of 'Quality Quidditch Supplies', James stopped Olive in her tracks and gently dragged her over to speak privately.
"James?" She asked, frowning. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing really," James cleared his throat, his cheeks bright red. "I was just wondering. . . if, you're back to normal now? Like, forever?"
Olive's heart sank into her stomach, "oh." She said, hesitating. Then, she smiled up at him. A genuine, warm smile. "Yes, I am."
James let out a breath of relief, "great."
And then they were off.
When she turned around to look at Lily in order to check if she was keeping up with their pace through the street, she noticed that her twin was glaring at her. She was surprised. "What is it?"
Lily mumbled something inaudible.
"Lils?" Olive asked. Upon recieving no real response, she turned back and continued to push her way though the crowd. She couldn't ask her what was wrong in that moment, because of the loud noise and the fact that James was holding the door open for them to enter.
When the door closed behind them, James chuckled, "there seems to be a lot more people here than it usually is."
"Yeah," Lily said with a bright smile.
"We probably shouldn't have waited so long. Irs better to buy your supplies early in the summer." Olive said as she glanced around. Lily sighed and rolled her eyes at her comment. "Okay, what's wrong?" She asked finally.
Lily looked at her, "oh nothing."
"It's not nothing. Tell me." Olive narrowed her eyes, not having the patience for a fight due to the late summer heat they had just been in. They had began to hover a few feet behind James, who was excitedly checking out all of the new stuff and equipment that was for sale.
"He used to be yours too, you know." Lily said quietly as they walked behind him.
"Who?" Olive frowned.
"Sev," Lily answered, crossing her arms.
"Severus and I were only ever acquaintances, never friends. I bet if you said that to him he'd say the same."
"He said you two were friends. For a time." Said Lily. This made Olive stop walking and fully turn to face her. "Yeah, but then you — whatever it doesn't matter anymore."
"No, don't do that again. Tell me what you were going to say. Say it."
"It doesn't even matter. I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. This is stupid, let's just continue —"
"That's what we were doing until you got all rude and confrontational!" Olive said rather rudely.
"Oh yeah, it's my fault. As per usual, I'm the rude one."
"In this case yes," said Olive with narrowed eyes. Both of them had completely forgotten that James could hear them. He was now stood on the sidelines a step away from them, watching their conversation unfold. "You are!"
"That's real rich coming from you, Olive." Lily spat. "I'm not the one that's using the people around me like puzzle pieces and then just — throwing them away when they no longer suit my own agenda or future plans!"
"You don't know anything." Said Olive through gritted teeth.
"I don't? Or maybe is it you that don't know anything! You treat people differently depending on whatever mood you're in and it's so, so, so draining! It's like you suck the life out of people around you! When you're happy, everyone else is — and when you're not . ." She paused, realising that she was now yelling. With tears in her eyes, she glanced at James, who was staring at her dumbfounded. "I just wanted something for myself." She said, tears finally falling. She scoffed, "one singular day for me to just enjoy myself with someone —" she hesitated.
Olive didn't know what to say. "You . . ."
"What?" Lily wiped away her tears.
"You're right." Lily looked taken aback by that. As did James, whose dumbfounded expression now had transferred to her. "I was distant. It's not something I'm proud of or anything. Rather, I'm ashamed of how I handled the shit I was dealing with. I never meant to hurt you. Or you —" she looked at James. "Or anyone! I just want everything to go back to the way it was before."
"That's what we wanted. For an entire year, Olive." Lily reminded her.
Olive winced, "I know. But I couldn't then. I can now." She pushed her poofy hair behind her ears as she glanced between the two of them. "I had a reason for being the way I was —" Lily looked absolutely outraged, but Olive continued, "— It's not a good reason and there's no excuse for the way I treated you all, I know that."
"Yeah," Lily nodded, less visibly angry now.
Olive bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. "I know it's a lot for me to ask but . . . I want to go back to the way things were before."
"You can't." Olive was surprised that it was James who spoke up. "Something happened to you, Liv. And it's not something we can just forget about. You . . . you looked like you were — I don't know the right word for it —"
"You looked like you were dying." Lily finished for him, unable to meet her gaze. Olive's eyes had now started to water.
"Yeah," James agreed sombrely. "It was terrifying to watch."
"I know," Olive sniffled, quickly wiping away her tears that had fallen. She felt uncomfortable crying in front of the two of them for some reason. "I'm sorry."
"What happened?" James asked, reaching out and touching her hand gently.
Olive glanced down. His touch was warm and comforting. So extremely different from Roger's.
Roger.
She has completely forgotten about him.
She hadn't spoken to him since . . . since his outburst. He had grabbed her, hard. It had left a bruise on her arm. Something she hadn't minded in her . . . state. But now she dreaded it. Even when she was desensitised to everything she had thought back to Katjas death and shivered.
Olive squeezed James' hand in return, thanking him without words for caring about her.
"I can't tell you." She said.
"Why?" James asked, his thumb gently moving across the back of her hand. It was comforting.
"Maybe someday I will." She said without looking up at either of them. "It's not fair, not at all — I know. But, in order to keep you safe, I have to keep certain things from you." Finally, she smiled at him and then at Lily, having spoken to both of them.
Lily wasn't smiling at them. She was staring down at their hands. She looked like she was holding herself back from crying. Olive automatically pulled her hand away from James'.
She didn't notice James' face when she had pulled away, but Lily had. He looked like a wounded dog.
"We should continue," said Olive, poofing her hair up.
"Let's go." Lily agreed, her voice unusually quiet.
The rest of the shopping trip was quite uneventful. At least until the rest of the Marauders were hears by James phenomenal hearing. It was almost too good, maybe even inhumanly so.
"Padfoot!" James cried out in glee as he sprung over to where the growing Sirius, Remus and Peter were standing outside of Sugarplum's Sweets shop.
"Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed equally as joyfully. Sirius skipped into James' arms and wrapped his legs around his waist while their twirled.
Olive laughed at their antics. Both Remus and Sirius piped up at that. They looked at her in disbelief. "Liv?" Said Sirius, jumping off of his best friend. While Sirius walked over to her rather threateningly (he had grown considerably taller over the summer and was wearing a black leather jacket, accompanied by silver chains and a new piercing just above his right eyebrow), James pulled Remus and Peter in for a big bear hug.
"Hi Siri," Olive said with a shy wave.
Sirius. Who now was almost a foot taller than her, looked at her suspiciously.
"Olive Evans?" He asked.
"Yes?" She replied, quirking a brow at him.
Before she could react, he flashed her his widest grin yet and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up into the air and spinning her around. "I missed you!" He fake cried.
Olive laughed loudly, unable to move her arms. "I missed you too you big dog!"
Sirius let go of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You're back? Really? I don't think I've heard that laugh in over a year. It's like music to my ears."
She chuckled and shook her head, "I'm back,"
"Told you lot," Remus said confidently, shrugging. He was still standing by the window to the sweets shop beside Peter; who was glancing down at the cobbled street.
"Don't act all cool and collected," Sirius scoffed, "you've been on James' wavelength when it comes to whining about her —"
Remus placed a hand over Sirius mouth in a flash, his cheeks bright red. "No. I didn't."
Olive just smiled at him and brought him in for a big hug. "I've missed you too, Remus. I'm sorry."
Remus returned her hug immediately, "it's okay." He mumbled.
When they parted, Olive stared at all of them. Her heart warming at the sight of the four Marauders joking around and telling each other about their summer.
"I need new shoes, should I head off by myself or do you guys wanna come with?" She spoke up.
Sirius perked up at that, "of course we want to come with you. I have to buy a pair of boots." He put a leg up and put toward her, showing off his leather boots with spikes. "These ones aren't chained enough."
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Okay, this chapter is kind of boring but it's important! You're learning more about Olive and her existence which is one of the main points in this story.
I'm actually thinking of writing Olive into another universe — like in another fanfic. She's be a different character and whatever but I don't knoooooow.
Ok bye bye thanks for reading <3