9:24 pm
THAT night when anais got home she threw herself straight into work, both on songs and homework. bad enough she had a biology lab due tomorrow that she hadn't even started, worse was that mike of all people was her partner.
she chewed on the top of a pencil looking at the blank sheet music waiting to be filled with notes, so far there were only empty bars that she had to fill with the notes of the song. she sat on the queen sized bed and pulled the black guitar she had on to her lap. she hummed the song and began playing the chords, stoping when she had the first few notes. anais had perfect pitch, so if she heard a note she knew immediately what it was. but the thing is, the guys usually slowly played the songs and then she transcribed them sheet music. it was a little difficult now that it was a one person practice.
so far the chords for the chorus were,
Gb, Db, Ab
Gb, Db, Ab
Gb, Db, Ab
Gb, Db, Ab
Gb, Db, Ab
anais took a deep breath before playing the ending of the first verse, the part just before the chorus which was the only define sort she had written.
"cause i've gotten tired of the games that you played; when you tell me you love me then you throw me away, so cry me a river till you drown in the lake, cause you make think you're winning but-"
the phone ringing made her groan loudly. "i was in the verge of a serious breakthrough.." anais sighed, moving the guitar off her body and grabbing the phone.
"hello?"
"ana.."
her heart froze when she recognized the voice. "bex?"
"ana, babe." his voice was groggy and slurred over the phone, which meant one thing, he was drunk.
she rolled her eyes and pressed her hand into a fist, trying to keep composure.
"bex what do you want?"
"it didn't mean anything ana!" he shouted making her cringe and pull the phone away. "it didn't mean nothing!"
she flicked again at the volume of his voice. anais took a breath. "bex," she said in that small voice she always used with him when he got like this. "bex where are you?"
"i'm sorry!"
"i know!" her voice got smaller. "i know you are. where are you?"
there was a pause. "halfway hub."
she rolled her eyes. of course he was at that shitty bar, that's where he'd always go to make a bad decision and scare her.
"is anyone with you? you should go home."
she heard him suck his teeth. "i can drive, bitch."
"no you can't-"
"yes i can, just fuck off, okay?"
her eye damn near twitched. "you called me.."
"only to tell you that," he grumbled, "this is why i'm with julie now.. she doesn't do shit like this."
anais laughed. "shit like what? care about you?"
he was quiet.
"you realize you turn 18 in a few months right?"
"so?"
"so?" she scoffed. "you gonna do shit like this when you're grown?"
"no," he laughed. "but you're only saying that cause i won't be doing you."
anais gripped the phone tight enough to break it. "you fucking dickhead.."
"ohh did i hit a nerve? mwah."
did he think he was a movie character? he always did this shit when he was drunk.
she felt something break in her, like a snap or something. the last bit of her patience was gone when he kissed the phone. "bex how about you go reel and pass out in the fucking street like you did last year? i won't be there to stop the bleeding, marshall won't be there to drive you to the hospital - but oh i guess your girlfriend julie will take care of that?"
he was quiet.
"aww you're silent now. did i hit a nerv? mwah." anais slammed the phone back into the receiver before taking deep breath and picking it back up. anais dialed a number quickly, it rung twice before picking up.
"dude."
"fuck," marshall cursed over the line. "what did he do now?"
he managed to make anais giggle even in her worried state. he could hear shuffling around the room, probably trying to grab his shoes and car keys.
"he's at halfway hub, nearly blackout and.."
"and?"
anais sighed. "he's being a dick."
"oh my god, the sky is blue." marshall sighed making her laugh again. "the grass is green and smoke rises. tell me something new."
"new?" ana smiled, "he's gonna try to drive. and he is definitely going to crash. think you can get over there before he kills himself?"
she could tell marshall was pursing his lips. "yeah, but sometimes i think we should just.."
"let him?" she leaned against the wall and glanced out her window. "i agree."
"he should take his fucking meds man." marshall said. "sick of this shit, if it was you or me dave would go ballistic."
"true, we're literally held to such high standards and dave let's bex do whatever the hell he wants."
"mhm," marshall hummed. "i gotta go pick him up before he does something stupid. later love."
"later babes."
anais hung up the phone and went through her music stuff, looking for one of the song journals she had from last year. when she found the book she flipped through the pages until she landed on the song she wanted to find.
the thing about bex was that he didn't handle stress well. at all. so when they started rising to fame nearly three years ago he started drinking to cope. and while it wasn't that deep at first, maybe a beer or two weekly, it got serious fast. it was to the point where helping him off the floor and into bed while he was blackout was a nightly routine.
she found the poem she was looking for, it was called wish you were sober and went;
16 but you act 25 now
knees weak but you talk pretty pretty proud, wow
ripped jeans and the cup that you just downed
take me where the music ain't too loud
trade drinks, but you don't even know her
save me till the party is over
kiss me in the seat of your rover
real sweet, but i wish you were sober.
•••
friday, october 6th
the air was slightly brisk when anais walked into the school which made her shiver. it was sad, the weather was slowly but surely getting colder. but, it was also kind of good because she got to pull out the cute winter clothes she had shipped from new york.
today's outfit was simple lowrise jeans with a pink princess crown embroidered on the pocket. with this she wore a cropped pink velvet sweater. pink and white headphones sat around her neck which matched the similar color pattered 1983 forces she wore.
she was going over the song she completed last night after a little heartbreak and inspiration. not looking where she was going, anais bumped into someone's chest and dropped the papers.
"shit, my bad." she crouched down, reaching for the papers but they picked it up before her. anais stood up and was slightly taken aback to see a tall girl with long, curly dark brown hair and tan skin. she had black cat eye liner on her honey eyes as well as a diamond stud piercing on her nose. anais felt a strange feeling in her stomach when their eyes made contact, not quite butterflies but still the flutter of something that made her nervous.
the girl glanced down at the papers. she pursed her pink lips as she took a breath out and raked a hand through her curly hair.
"no one's ever gonna love you anyways cause you're just a narcissistic who's totally fake, you may think you're winning this heartbreak but you aren't gonna win it cause.."
anais cringed at her lyrics being red aloud.
"but what?" the girl asked, staring at the lyrics and then flipping the stapled page to the sheet music.
"i don't know."
the girl stared at the page again before nodding. "checkmate."
"pardon?"
"you aren't gonna win it cause, checkmate." she handed the paper back to her. "whoever you wrote this about sounds like a dick. it was hard but you won.. you should say checkmate."
a slow smile crept on to anais' face with hints of confusion. "that's actually genius. thank you."
"mhm." the girl handed her back the music and was ready to walk away but anais called out to stop her.
"you play?" anais asked, looking the girl up and down then at her hands. definitely a musician.
the girl shrugged. "guitar, a little piano."
"do you know where i can find the band room?"
the girl smiled. "why? you wanna try playing it?"
anais nodded and looked down at the paper. "it needs a drummer though."
"that won't be a problem. i'm tai, by the way. we didn't get to that yet." tai stuck her hand out and anais shook it. "ana."
"just meet me by the bio lab at lunch and i can get a drummer."
both girls smiled at each other before walking away.
•••
"would it go something like this?" tai asked, playing the chords of the first verse perfectly. anais listened in amazement. she hadn't even given a time stamp yet and she already played the song how she envisioned it.
"it's perfect." anais smiled. she walked to the back of the room and grabbed an old guitar that looked like it hadn't been tuned nor touched in ages.
"yo, tai." a voice called entering the room.
"stacey?" anais asked laughing. "you play the drums?"
stacey smiled and grabbed two drumsticks from the dresser at the front of the room. "drums and keyboard baby."
"her dad owns the station's music show. he's kind of a big deal in hawkins."
anais thought about it for a second as she tuned her guitar. "..is your dad steven zhao by any chance?"
stacey laughed and walked over for drums, nodding. "yeah. how'd you know?"
"he interviewed once in 83, he's awesome."
stacey sat down and fixed her hair behind her ears before moving the sheet music on to the stand and muttering to herself as she read it. "so we jump to a high tempo on the third system of the 4th bar on page 2?"
"mhm." anais fixed the guitar strap around her shoulder. she plugged it into a speaker before tapping the mic on the stand in front of her. it had a mechanic echo through the room.
"stacey count us in."
the click of stacey's drumsticks together signaled them to start playing.
"you think you're funny right? calling me drunk when it's too late at night, telling me truths that you know all are lies.. yeah you think you're funny right?"
the door that was still open began to draw some stray students to the room. the speaker was kinda loud and the band room was down the hallway from the lunch room so it made sense that people wanted to see what was going on.
"you think you're super sly. flirting with them but telling me you're mine. building me up, but buttercup you lied. now i'm gonna ruin your life."
all thee girls playing picked up the tempo quickly as anais began to sing the chorus.
"cause i've gotten tired of the games that you play when you tell me you love me then you throw me away so cry me a river till you drown in the lake cause you make think you're winning but checkmate."
the girls outside the door seemed to be enjoying the song as they waved over for their friends to come watch. soon the small crowd of five doubled, now there were ten people. after that ten, twenty. twenty soon turned to fourth and by the time the song was nearly over half the student body was flooded into the room and dancing.
and imma get you gone
cant play me like a pawn
set fire to your lawn
just like you did to my heart
and imma wreck your car
and max your credit cards
a lover on the large
you're gonna wish you never harmed me
cause i've gotten tired of the games that you play
when you tell me you love me then you throw me away
so cry me a river till you drown in the lake
cause you may think you're winning but checkmate
and you did some damage so i'm making you pay
and no one's ever gonna love you anyways
cause you're just a narcissist who's totally fake
yeah you may think you're winning this heartbreak
but you aren't gonna win it cause
checkmate
when the song ended everyone clapped making all three girls smile.
"dude that was awesome!" some junior girl with blonde hair yelled. "can i get your autograph?"
anais laughed before nodding. "yeah, of course."
after singing the girl's chem book she began to pack up the instruments. "thank you guys so much for doing that with me."
"of course!" stacey smiled. "and if you want i could always talk to my dad about preforming that on his station."
"really?" anais asked surprised. media exposure would be great for her right now, let the press know she's not mopping around.
"yeah, i think he'd just want to interview you and then you can preform it. he'd love to have you again."
"stace you are amazing."
stacey smiled once more before exiting the room with tai. anais walked out after the crowd, only to be stopped by mike.
she rolled her eyes and turned away from him.
"the song was great.." mike said. she turned around and raised a brow at him.
"you like the song?"
he nodded: anais scoffed before turning away again. his voice spoke up again. "is it-"
"about you?" anais asked, she turned back around with an annoyed expression as he nodded.
she screwed her face. "mike why the hell would the song be about you? did yo even listen to the lyrics?"
"yes but i-"
"not everything is about you." she cut him off. "i don't spend every waking moment thinking about you-"
"ms higgins. i would like to have a word with you." a voice spoke interrupting the conversation. they both turned to see principal dunkirk standing there looking very unimpressed.
she gave a sheepish smile and followed him to the office. when the door closed he sat at his desk and folded his hands.
"i don't know how they do it where you're from, but at this school we have a strict behavioral code and blasting the guitar while having you're own concert is against our policy."
anais titled her head. "concert? it was one song at lunch."
"the students need to focus."
"focus on what?" she asked, "the soggy grilled cheese they serve?"
"ms higgins i am not in the mood for joking. i'm going to have to speak with a parent or legal guardian."
fuck
"for what?! it wasn't even that serious. i played one song! no curses or nothing." he was overreacting.
"you used the instruments unauthorized and blasted the stereo!"
she scoffed and sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "those dusty old things that haven't been touched in years? i was doing your band room a favor, that place is dead."
dunkirk stood. "this is not up for debate. i'm going to go find your guardians number and when i come back we call them and have a talk."
when he left the room anais sighed deeply. her parents were god knows where and david wasn't even in hawkins currently. what the fuck was she gonna do?
"psst, ana."
she turned her head to the door and saw mike standing there, piece of paper in his hand.
"can you go away?"
mike was taken aback slightly. "can you drop the attitude? i'm trying to help you."
she squinted at him, "mike i don't need your help."
"and when he finds out you don't have a guardian then what?"
she was quiet.
"i though so." he walked over and gave her a loose leaf sheet with a number on it. "this is steve's number, i called him. he's like 18 now so you can pretend he's like your cousin i don't know."
anais held back a smile. "that's a real sweet thought but..he's literally white?"
the gears seemed to turn again in mike's head. "shit i don't know, half cousin? cousin in law?"
she just nodded. "thanks."
•••
"i can't believe you almost got suspended for playing music." steve shook his head, unlocking his car with the key. he decided to just take anais out of school for the day and it didn't matter much since there was only one period left. the two day in the car and he began to pull out of the parking lot, driving down the road. "i mean like was it that serious-"
"mike kissed me."
"he did what."
anais sighed and leaned back in the seat. she watched as steve pulled off the main road and into a burger chef drive-thru. anais looked at him with a confused expression.
"your day seems rough, i think you need a milkshake."
she smiled and him. "thank you."
"yeah yeah," steve said, driving into the line. "just explain what happened."
anais took a breath. "well he came over with soup for me on wednesday, i tried to get him to leave because i just wanted to be alone, then he went into my cabinet and spilled my damn- well it doesn't matter what he spilled. but then i got angry, i walked away from him and he followed me with all these questions. i don't like being asked questions. then he pushed open my door when i try to close it and yells at me that he cares. we hugged.."
"and then?" steve asked, drumming the steering wheel impatiently. he loved the drama.
"then i pulled away and he kissed me. steve i know what meaningless kisses feel like, this wasn't it. i don't understand him, how he could kiss me that way wednesday and then say i'm just some 'stupid girl'? what have i done wrong?" she spoke, glancing out the window with tears brimming at her eyes.
steve looked at her with a sad expression before pressing on the menu buttons to order the food. after they collected it he parked, setting it down and unbuckling his seatbelt.
"anais i need to tell you something."
she turned her head. "what is it?"
"..mike has a girlfriend."
she stared at him in disbelief. "he has a what."
steve cringed at the hurt in her voice. "not exactly a girlfriend! more like a girl that's a friend.. they used to date but she dumped him last summer and then moved away. before she moved though, she told him she loved him."
he glanced at her before continuing. "i saw the way max looked at you and mike in the store last month.. she still very much considers this girl and mike together even though they're not. they broke up. so you're not wrong for kissing him back or liking him and he doesn't really have to tell you about her since they broke up. but if anything it's still fucked up he would say that about you after kissing you. dick move."
anais sat with the information for a moment before sighing. "what's the girl's name?"
"elev- jane. her name is jane."
she looked at him quickly. "eleven?"
steve panicked. he shook his head and turned the keys in the car, stepping on the gas and ignoring the question.
"steve. did you say eleven?"
"no." he quipped, not even looking at her.
anais breathed out. "tell me the truth. is the girl's name eleven?"
steve didn't answer.
"there's no point of lying to me now, i heard you and robin talk about it the other day."
"fuck," steve cursed under his breath. "yes. yes, her name is eleven."
anais nodded. "good. thank you."
steve was sweating bullets the whole drive to anais' house. yes it was no danger in anais knowing the truth but still he shouldn't have fucked it up.
"your theory is true by the way." anais said, taking off her seatbelt when they reached her house and stepping out the car.
"what theory?" steve called out.
she smiled. "that i'm stronger than her." she closed the car door and left steve with his thoughts. anais unlocked the front door and ran upstairs to her room, dropping the bag and changing before digging in her dresser and pulling out a black bandana.
"i think it's time we reconnect."
•••
fae is speechless
not proofread