Trigger warning: Death, Gore, Anxiety Attacks, Kyra's psycho voices and inner monologues
"Why'd you do it, Kye?" I heard the all-too-familiar voice ask into my ear but when I turned I found myself alone.
I walked through the streets of New York curiously, bodies littering the streets and blood painted the buildings around me crimson. Demigods of all ages laid lifelessly on the concrete ground, some as young as 10 years old but I simply surveyed the scene emotionlessly. At the end of the long road was a pile of bodes stacked on each other. Elly, Jace, Steph, Amanda, Hazel, Frank, Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, Nico, Will, and Leo.
"Why'd you do it?"
"You could've saved us."
"Traitor."
"How could we have trusted you?" Voices echoed throughout the streets and I whipped my head around to find the sources but all I found were bodies. Their eyes stared at me from the ground, like they were waiting for me to do something.
"You have done so well, my dear," a hauntingly familiar voice spoke up from behind me and I didn't bother to look over my shoulder to know she was actually here.
"I would never fail you, mother," I responded robotically as I felt blood pool in my shoes as the ground below me filled with the crimson liquid. Hands suddenly appeared from the blood, grabbing my ankles but I didn't react, almost like I was expecting them to greet me.
It didn't seem to slow down however and soon I was waist deep in blood but I didn't make a move to save myself, simply standing there, frozen. The hands gripped my wrists and legs and torso, weighing me down and keeping me still but I didn't make a move to free myself. I felt mothers cold hands wrap themselves on my shoulders and she leaned into my ear making me feel cool air radiate off of her.
"We'll drown together, my dear. As a family," she cooed and I could feel her grin at her own words and still, I stood there motionlessly. The thick ooze soon reached my neck and as if on cue two hands emerged from the pool of blood to squeeze my throat, choking me. The building around us as well were being submerged and it seemed like the ocean of blood stretched on for miles and miles.
The bodies bobbed up to the surface like apples around me and they faced the sky, their faces emotionless as they stared at me. I craned my neck to avoid the blood touching my face but that only lasted a few seconds before it reached my mouth. I ducked in a deep breath through my nose and squeezed my shut just before a hand shot up from the gore and pulled my face under, engulfing me.
Am I dying?
I am dying.
Again.
Cold.
I am cold.
Is this what baba felt?
Agony.
I can't breathe?
It's dark.
Why is it so dark?
I'M DYING.
IS THIS IT?
WAKE UP.
I gasped awake, jolting up from Leo's bare chest and my hand immediately went to his like an instinct while he quickly sat up, already awake. I whipped my head around in fear that my mother was lurking the corner of my eye but all I saw was our apartment room.
"Hey, hey, hey, you're fine, you're fine. She's gone," Leo immediately started to assure me, cupping my face gently in his hands and only then did I realize I was hyperventilating.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I sobbed in waves as he pulled me to his chest, rocking us back and forth slightly.
"It's okay... you're okay," he whispered in my ear but I didn't register his words as my entire body shook from my sobs and terror. My wide eyes bounced across the room, not believing him for a second.
She's watching.
She's always watching.
She'll never leave you alone.
You're her's.
She's listening.
SHE'S COMING.
SHE'S COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my chest seize and my breath start to become even more frantic and all I could see was the pile of bodies. When I tried to open my eyes I couldn't see anything just blurry objects and the only thing I could hear was my pounding heartbeat.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
"Kye, Kye, stay with me," Leo pleaded but I could barely understand him nonetheless follow his directions. "Hey, remember the exercises? Remember the exercises?" He repeated which helped understand what he was saying.
"I don't... I don't kn.." I wheezed, my breaths short and suffocatingly small but whenever I tried to breath deeper my body would painfully stop me.
"What's the five things you can see?" Leo questioned, clutching my shoulders and my eye zipped around the room but it was all blurry and I started panicking even more. I shook my head frantically at the intelligible garbage my mind was giving me. "Kyra, five things you see?" He repeated delicately and I frantically tried to zero around on anything in the room.
"The-the d-door, lamp," I started to list and he gave me a small, encouraging smile, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. I sharply took a breath. "The bookshelf, drawer, and you," I continued with a few hiccups in between my words and he gave me a proud smile that was blurry in my non-blind eye.
"Four things you can feel?" Leo asked softly and I had to focus on naming the things around me.
"The sheets... the mattress, my clothes, and you again," I managed out with a shaky breath as I gripped his hand.
"Three things you can hear?"
"Cars, the fridge, and... the old air conditioning," I concentrated on the faint noises and felt my breath start to slow back down.
"Two things you can smell?" He asked and my eye started focusing on him and I could finally see things around me but I still focused on my breathing and the room around me.
"Oil and paper," I settled on saying out loud, taking a deep breath through my nose that was filled with the smell that Leo carried with him everywhere from his shop no matter how much or how long he showered mixed with the scent of my old, crisp books that were hidden everywhere in the small apartment yet I still found places to shove them in.
"One thing you can taste?" Leo asked the last question and I realized a few of my tears had slid into the corner of my lips.
"Salt," I breathed out through my mouth, calming my jumping diaphragm and I felt Leo brush away a stream of tears on my cheek with my thumb.
I didn't realize I fell asleep until I woke up to the sun beaming through the window shades.
Stupid fucking piece of shit.
I shook my head out of that thought and pressed my head deeper into Leo's chest, ignoring the itching feeling I should get up and get moving.
It was Sunday, thank the awful gods, so we were both off of work. I had officially enrolled back into New Rome University but my classes didn't start till next week since it was still summer break. I had also gotten a job, shocking, I know, and I was now working in possibly the only bookstore in the entire city since the majority of demigods and legacies had dyslexia.
He hates you. How can he not?
I sucked in a sharp breath as if holding it would make the voices go away. I felt Leo move under me making me freeze, thinking I might have woken him up by simply breathing loudly. I realized later that was ridiculous but my thoughts ignored logic in the moment.
"Hey, mi sol," he whispered with a chuckle into my hair before pressing a kiss on the top of my head and snaking his arms around my waist.
"Morning, ya qamar," I returned with a small, blissful smile, momentarily forgetting my overwhelming sense of sadness.
Piece of shit.
You think you deserve to be happy? After all the shit you put him through?
We didn't have a choice.
Is that what you tell yourself?
Gods, you are such a liar you're lying to yourself now. That's almost laughable if it wasn't so pathetic.
I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, trying to ignore them. As if he could hear my own thoughts, Leo grabbed my face, cupping it in both his hands and showered me with kisses. Against all odds, I started laughing making him smile victoriously but he continued to peck all parts of my face. When he finally pulled back, he pressed his hands against my cheeks, smushing them and probably making my face look like a chubby fish.
"Leo!" I laughed and he snickered at me before pressing another kiss on my lips.
"You okay?" He asked, quickly becoming serious as he looked me in the eye and I managed a small smile at his concern.
"I'm okay," I nodded, leaning my forehead against his, content.
Gods, you're garbage.
You think he actually cares about you?
"Voices again?" Leo spoke up softly with a knowing look making me scowl at his ability to read me so perfectly.
"Ugh, you think I'm insane," I groaned, resting my head on his shoulder in attempt to hide my face.
"Mi amor, I hate to break it to you but I always knew you were insane," he pointed out making me snort against my better judgement.
"Shut up," I scoffed, trying to hide my smile in the crook of his neck.
"Never," he replied with a smile playing on his lips and pecked my own.