To pretend she didn't know anything about Johann and his involvement with her father and his underlings made her uneasy. She was forced to sit out on investigation by order of the Commander for being way too close to the case. She didn't like it, not one fucking bit.
She didn't fault Levi for handing in the report to Erwin; he, after all, he was just doing his job as a captain. Though, she'd be lying if she said she didn't grow a slight annoyance at this boundary...as selfish as it sounded. It made her second guess this relationship having been only at the early stages of this intimate relationship.
She pushed herself to move faster to physically catch up with the speed of her thoughts sprinting through her mind with Levi in the dead center of it.
Maybe you'd be better off as friends. Romantic relationships in a work setting—especially one of a superior and their subordinate—never end well, the annoying, pestering voice in her head whispered to her, its taunting claws digging into her neck in a suffocating chokehold.
"Tch," she, in pure frustration, punched the bag.
Your sufferance is the only outcome in this disastrous intimate relationship.
Her knuckles met the rough material of the bag once more.
Give up, Y/N. You know love is nothing more than distraction.
Her blood boiled. She was dangerous to herself when left alone with her own debilitating thoughts.
Kill it before it kills you.
"Aargh!" she groaned, feeling the stinging sensation of her roughed up knuckles. They were red and sore, trembling from the beating she gave to the bag.
"You done?" A deep male voice asked. She looked up, meeting the greys that she both loved and loathed.
"Maybe."
"It's 4am, why aren't you asleep?"
"I'm not sleepy; neither are you, I presume."
"Clearly." Levi pushed off the wall, shutting the door to the training room. He walked up to her taking her heated hands into his. "What's wrong?"
She felt his calloused fingers run over the raw skin on her knuckles. He's so gentle... Her heart thundered. So lov—Stop. She pulled her hands back. "Nothing."
Levi rolled his eyes. "You expect me to believe that?"
"Yes?"
He let out a hearty laugh. "Do I look like an idiot, Y/N?"
She averted her eyes, looking down at her feet. "No..."
Levi wrapped his hand around herwaist pulling her closer to him, the other lightly tilting her chin up. "Something's bothering you; talk to me, Y/N."
She sighed. "I'm frustrated."
"I can think of many other ways to curb that frustration of yours...you don't have to take it out on the innocent punching bags."
He brought a smile to her lips. Y/N slapped his chest lightly earning a chuckle from him. "But seriously, what's frustrating you?"
Y/N sighed. "Everything. My endless family drama; the two mute prisoners; how everyone is so relaxed while my father is declaring war on us; and us."
"Us?"
"Yeah, you and me. Do I have to spell it out for you."
"What's so frustrating about us ?” Levi asked as she pulled away from his embrace, her arms instinctively wrapped around her like a wall.
"What are we, Levi?" She asked. To her it was an important question—one that would shut the voice in her head up.
"What do you mean?"
"Are we lovers, friends, partners, each others playthings?"
"Is it necessary to put a label on our relationship?" Levi asked, confused. He thought she knew what they had...but clearly they weren't standing on the same page.
"Yes and no."
"Y/N, if I didn't like you, we wouldn't have a working friendship—"
"So, we're friends?" she cut in, that sunken feeling in her heart dug deeper into her chest.
"Tch. I'm not done," he said. She mumbled a quick sorry. He sighed, waving her apology off. "As I was saying, I liked you so much more than I thought I would that I knew, at least on my end, that a friendship wouldn't work."
She bit the inside of her cheek, feel that painful sting in her nose as tears crawled their way up to her eyes as he closed the gap between their bodies.
"I want something more with you," he whispered resting his forehead against hers. "Something more than just friends."
"And what would that be?"
"The most intimate form of a relationship—love."
She let out a sigh of relief burying her head into his chest, arms wrapped around him. "I'm scared..."
"Of what?"
"Being with you," she admitted.
"What's there to be afraid of?"
"Everything. What if my father comes after you?"
"I'll have his head before he can lay a finger on my hair."
"Titans?
"I'll have their napes before they have the chance to crush me."
"And Erwin? The team? The higher ups? What if—"
"Our relationship is none of their business."
"But you're my superior, wouldn't being in a relationship with your subordinate be asking to be scrutinized and criticized by everyone under the military watch?"
"Then let them."
"You're not afraid?" She asked looking up at him.
Levi shook his head. "Why would I be? Dating on the job isn't a crime."
"Bias?"
"It can't be helped...and I can't say I haven't pulled some strings for you. However, that said, it's my responsibility to ensure that when we're working, my feelings for you doesn't cloud my judgement; as it is yours to recognize your responsibilities as a soldier."
"This sucks," she pouted.
"Get used to it, brat," he leaned down for a quick peck in the forehead. "I don't plan to let you go."
Her smile grew wider. "How cheesy. Who would have thought the cold, stoic Captain is actually soft and squishy."
"Soft and squishy?"
"Yeah," she said poking his cheek. "It's a delight to appeal to your softer side, sir." Y/N's her hands cupped his cheeks, connecting their lips. His hands dropped to the curve of her back, resting above her hips.
"Let's get out of here for a bit," he said against her lips.
"Where to?"
"Out...we both need a break from this place, and I still owe you a date."
"The sun is going to rise soon... We could make a trip to town for a nice little getaway."
"Sounds like a plan," she agreed smiling up at him. Levi pushed her back by the shoulders turning her around. Y/N pulled away from her lover, picking up the discarded towel from the ground and tossing it over her shoulder.
"I'm going to clean up. Help me dress my would after?"
"Of course, brat. Who else would you let do it?"
.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
At 6am, Levi knocked on her room door, announcing his arrival. She opened the door, a towel wrapped around her upper body. "Hey, you," she greeted, inviting him in. She eyed his neat dress shirt and pants, a dark blazer and tie...and accessory he normally avoided. "You look handsome this morning."
"I'm going on a date with my girlfriend, thought I'd bust out the tie."
"Sexy."
He closed the door behind him and plopped onto her bed. He couldn't help but notice the blue flowers on her desk. He diverted his attention away, peeking into her less than organized wardrobe. How do you find stuff in there?"
"With my hands and eyes, sweetheart," she said pulling out an off the shoulder ruffle top and dark blue ankle length skirt, tossing it to Levi.
"Tch." Smartass. His eyes stayed trained on her as she dropped her towel. Every curve and scar exposed to him.
Levi couldn't help but to pat himself on the back. He was lucky to have had made the first move. He never expected her to give him a chance given he wasn't an easy man to deal with.
"Oi, eyes up here, captain," she jokingly teased.
"Sorry..." he mumbled, his cheeks flushing.
She giggled. She handed him the first aid box and sat back faced to him on the bed. "It's healing up very well," He said.
"It was given the best care by a very special someone I know."
"You're welcome." He cleaned her wound as per the routine though his mind was elsewhere. "I see you're sti keeping the flowers."
"Yeah... I can't bring myself to throw it out."
"Why so?"
"One, they're blue. Anything blue is pretty for me. Two, they're a rare species of he flowers. You'd have to pay big money for it. Might as well enjoy it until its last days."
"You really do like the colour blue."
"It's my favourite colour, she said walking to the window. She watched the sun slowly wake up from it's slumber.
"Why do you like the colour blue so much?"
She looked up to the sky, "It is what the birds see when they fly towards freedom," she said. She leaned into him, glancing up to give him a warm smile, "Blue is hope; hope that someday freedom will be reality."
"Freedom is a luxury. It's something you've been chasing for awhile now."
"Most of my life I've lived on a leash. Whether it was the fear of going hungry or beaten everyday, I've never truly loved for myself."
"May I ask...?"
"I was born to a prostitute working in an established brothel for the rich in the Underground."
"We are more similar than I thought..."
"I lived there till I was about 8 years old until my father found out that I was his child. He had his people wreck the whole place when he found out that the brothel kept me from him because they wanted to sell me like they did my mother.
"Why do you think Johann gave you those flowers?"
"I don't know but whatever the reason is he made a mistake by giving me these flowers. The idiot wouldn't have been found out so soon if he hadn't chose these specific flowers."
"Why so?" He asked, watching her dress herself.
"These flowers are unique to Sina. It grows within the gates of prestigious families. They're called Sina's Crown Jewels. They only grow in the best weather, soil, fertilizer and what not, and treated with the utmost delicate care. They're treated like kings and sought after by those who look to kill," she revealed.
"My family grows these in their garden. The most distinguishable thing about the König's flowers is that they are the purest of vibrant blues—a rare jewel amongst the underground black market for its poisonous properties."
Levi raised an eyebrow. "And you're still keeping something that could you meters from your bed? Are you asking for a death wish?"
"One petal alone isn't lethal enough to kill someone. The roots is where the poison is the most lethal," she cleared up. "Whether he knew it or not, I took recieving this bouquet as a warning. When he said he bought this off street vendors; I knew he was lying and hiding something."
"He is a good actor, I must say."
"He has to be... I would know." Y/N's smile dropped, pressing her lips together. She couldn't bring herself to hate the kid. She felt bad for him knowing the environment he was raised in. "Like these flowers, Johann was a product of his environment. He was groomed by the worse to do bad. Their influence likely poisoned his young mind."
"How unfortunate."
She brushed her hair. "It's not his fault. A little time out in the cells will probably do him more good. He only has his actions to think about."
Levi wrapped his hands around her waist. "Did you?" He asked his hot breath brushing against her ear.
She turned into his arms, resting her arms on his chest."Wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"You're beautiful," he complimented.
"Thank you, sir." Her fingers crawled up his chest to the knot of his tie, tugging it loose teasingly. "And you look ravishing."
He pulled her closer. "Keep doing that and the only thing I'll have for breakfast is you," he suggested, pressing up against her.
"Then...maybe Trost can wait..."
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Word count: 2033