Trigger warning: This chapter may contain scenes not suitable for some audiences. Discretion is advised.
At noon on Saturday, Agustin woke up evidently sick probably due to the amount of alcohol he had night before, showered, changed and left Numa's house leaving only a note telling him he will come back late in theafternoon, so they could watch some videos together.
Numa slept very late and when he woke up the only thing he remembered was Lucas' soft kiss, but also the attitude that followed, he was a bit confused.
His grandmother baked him a cake and on the kitchen table rested a huge package with some postage stamps from abroad, he pushed the package aside and opened his grandmother's gift with obvious interest.
"You should open the one from your aunt and uncle."
"Why? I live with you, not with them. First yours," he smiled happily as his grandmother responded with affection.
He was surprised, it was a book by a writer he loved.
"Actually that's not the gift, I've been doing some research and I'm going to pay you the driving course. What do you think?"
Numa jumped out of his chair to hug his grandmother.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Now open the package."
Numa took the box and put it back in the center of the table, opened it slowly, and the first thing he saw was the card, full of stars, this time silver and in strange Greek letters, it said happy birthday, he didn't even bother to open it, he just put it aside. He continued rummaging through the house, there were sweets, a black angora sweater for the winter, some books, some music cd's and a portrait of the two of them on one of their trips, he supposed.
He put them all inside with an air of indifference and took them to his room.
After a while he came back and started to read through the book he received.
The evening fell and at about 8 p.m. Agustín arrived dressed as always, in a feminine and provocative way, although he was still looking tired and pale, grandmother served the table, uncorked a red wine that Numa liked so much and the three of them ate and laughed with all the joy.
They blew out the candles and then both of them stayed in the living room. Grandma retired to rest and then Agus brought out a couple of porn movies to celebrate the moment.
"This is the last of the last," added the young man as they both sat on the couch with another piece of chocolate cake and Numa with an extra serving of dulce de leche.
The movie turned out not to be as good as they expected so they turned off the video and continued watching TV while they fooled around.
"I still have a present for you," said Agus suddenly.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a book and held it out to him.
"Oh, The Little Prince," said Numa when he saw it, "but this is yours, isn't it?"
"Yes, but I want you to have it, as a special union symbol, then you give me one of yours."
"Uhm" Numa said, looking at him suspiciously, books were almost sacred to him "Ok!"
"Numa..."
He turned to look him in the eyes, he noticed his friend was suddenly serious.
"There is something I have to tell you and if I don't do it now, I never will..."
Numa saw the expression in those glowing eyes, his voice was trembling and turned off the TV. The expression on his face changed completely.
Numa moved a little closer.
"Tell me. I'm listening" a thousand thoughts went through his head, the first thing he thought was, he was raped, unfortunately this happened to some guys who worked or performed at the night club. Suddenly his eyes seemed to get watery.
"I... I should have told you before but... but.."
"That doesn't matter," Numa reassured him, "you can tell me now."
A silence enveloped them both, Numa saw him gather his strength and felt a shiver run through his skin.
"I have...you know, the virus. The infamous one" he smiled softly trying to look amused.
Numa felt as if the world beneath his feet had disappeared, he forced himself to react, he saw him almost shaking like a leaf in front of him. He should be smiling like that. It was not a joke. What should he do?
He saw the fear in his eyes. For how long has he been carried that by himself?
Numa took his face in his hands and with his heart beating uncontrollably, kissed him on the lips softly, devoid of excitement, a kiss to take away his fear, it was his best way to tell him that he didn't care, everything was going to be fine and that he will be there by his side, always. He felt a warm tear run down the young man's cheek, he forced himself not to tremble, he was afraid for him, for everyone, for the future but there was no reason, he knew that the virus was no longer mortal and there was treatment, so, they will get through together. He held him gently in his arms.
"I will always be by your side, ok?"
Agustín slowly unwound from the embrace. He ran his hand over his face to wipe away the tears. The worst was over.
"Numa, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I've known it for a long time..."
"Do you know who passed it on to you?"
"Yes, my ex...he's the only one I haven't been careful with, I wanted to track him down but I couldn't" a tear escaped from his eyes again, "I..."
Numa realized he was having trouble swallowing, between the tears and the nervousness.
Numa stroked his hair and cheeks softly, how could it be that a boy like him was sick? It wasn't fair. He had to be strong, he told himself.
"I was diagnosed a long time ago, virus became active. My immune system is a little...not quite right, well actually, quite bad.." Agustin tried to smile again "You know, all those health problems I had as a child and have still been fighting against, it is not helping."
Numa couldn't help it and dropped his head. This couldn't be happening, there was no turning back, there was only one end to it. When he raised his head, his eyes were red, but he was still holding back tears.
"I'm sorry Numa, I didn't want to spoil your birthday, but first thing in the morning I should go to the hospital, most probably I'll be hospitalized, at least, until I recover a little. They recommended it to me some time ago and I didn't want to, and I haven't received medication, because I didn't do things very well either.... well the usual story if you have no money..."
"You need money? Why didn't you tell me?
"No, Numa, it's not for the medication. It's... like.. I don't want to go back to my parents, I finally got out of their place, I don't want to lose everything just because of some shitty luck...I don't know, maybe there's not much left anyway..."
"Hey" exclaimed Numa angrily, grabbing him by the arms, "Don't you dare to talk like that! You are not alone, you have me, us. The most important thing is, you don't give up."
"Numa, I'm not as strong as you..."
"That's nonsense, you have me by your side and if you don't have strength, then you have mine, , we will get through this together," his voice was breaking.
"But Numa, I can fight but I feel scarred, and tired...and..." he did not want to tell the word, but he felt trapped in a dark place without way out. He hated himself, his life, and his own weakness.
Numa shook him gently.
"I don't want you to give up. Do you understand me? Every minute is precious."
Agustin looked him in the eyes.
"Numa, I don't...I don't want to die..."he swallowed with difficulty.
The sadness in Agustin's eyes was too much, he couldn't believe how he hadn't realized it, but he had hidden it so well.
He hugged him again and felt him break into tears in his arms. Numa could feel his own tears rolling down his cheeks.