I spend Saturday decompressing from the wedding. I'll use the term wedding loosely since it didn't actually happen. Luckily I am too busy with Walt's basketball tournament to analyze everything.
I relish in the thought of Mr. and Mrs. James thinking Savannah was better than me. I don't have a step brother to speak of but even if I did I am not that indecent to bang it out before I would walk down the aisle. I shudder at the thought.
It's ironic that Mrs. James thinks that due to my lack of finances I would have low moral fiber but usually it's people like Savannah. People who have been raised with everything and don't realize genuine kindness when it's staring them in the face.
Eventually everyone would know why the wedding was called off. I can't imagine that Michael would reconsider nuptials with her but how would I know? I don't really know him like that anymore. I have doubts now if that baby is even his. I bet I am not the only one pondering that.
Sunday comes and church is a much needed spiritual renewal from the week. I always leave feeling more joyful and grateful than when I arrived. I know I haven't always had it easy in life but I am still blessed.
My mom use to drag us to church on Sunday mornings. She would stuff me into some lacey frilly garment that itched the whole service. Dad would eventually fall asleep mid sermon. Mom loved it so we went to make her happy.
After she died we didn't really see the point of it. We could have still gone in her absence but I think it would have made us miss her even more.
I remembered at my mom's funeral the people from church were so kind and endearing. Bringing us a mountain of food for weeks on end. Food didn't fill that huge hole in my heart with mom gone but it was still a nice gesture. I associated at a young age the church people equaled nice people.
So when I got accidently knocked up and single motherhood stared me down I sought guidance at the church. I was nervous when I entered. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for but they had a sign out in front about unwed mothers' assistance.
I walked into the lobby where Rebecca greeted me. She had indented smile lines etched deeply on her face with flowy snow white hair. It was as if years of joy poured from her, her glee was genuine and not a scam.
She took me to the store room where they had donated maternity clothes and everything a baby could possibly need in the first year of life. I walked in the church feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders but I walked out feeling like I could do it. I wasn't going to do it all on my own.
I got to know Rebecca during my pregnancy and trusted her to share my story. She was never judgemental but always encouraging and kind. She felt like a mother I never got to know in that stage of life.
Rebecca was a widow with grown kids too busy to need her so we became a family of sorts. I didn't have the perfect life but it was being rebuilt slowly. I have an amazing kiddo who is currently happily munching on a post church donut as we head home.
The drive home I start to dread Monday. Mr. Jones seemed pretty understanding of the events of Friday when I called. He knew it was outside of my control. He didn't seem disappointed that my first VIP client wedding went up in flames. Mr. Jones said he would contact them to discuss the recuperation of my time even though the wedding, on a technicality, didn't happen. I for sure wasn't going to reach out.
I pull into our driveway as Walt beelines it inside to wash off his sticky donut fingers and mouth. I begin grabbing the rest of our things when out of my peripheral I see a Cadillac Escalade roll up and park in my driveway. I straighten up as my eyes see the driver.....Michael James.
I quickly glance at the door and see Walt has made it inside unnoticed. Anxiety courses through me from my head to my toes. The last thing I need right now is Michael colliding into my world.
I take a deep breath to squelch the panic as I head to the front door to toss the things inside and shut the door behind me. When I turn back around Michael is already approaching the porch area.
He is dressed more casually than I have seen him in our previous encounters over the past 2 months. He has a worn t-shirt that clings to his muscular chest and gray sweatpants. I didn't let my eyes wander any further down but kept them right on his face. I have just come from church after all and mens gray sweatpants are devil's candy.
He takes his hand to sweep away a loose strand of hair pinning it back as he says, "Hey."
I clench my hands behind my back as I nervously bounce on my heels, " Why are you here?"
I don't mean for it to come out so brash but I also don't know how he had my address and why he thought showing up at my house unannounced was a bright idea.
He must have caught my annoyance, "I am sorry. Don't be mad but I begged Mr. Jones for your address. I told him I wanted to personally give you the check for your commission. I....huh... never got to give it to you."
Mental note kill Mr. Jones. He has no clue if Michael is a raving lunatic but he sold me out pretty quickly.
Michael must've read my thoughts, " I had to beg him and promise any future wedding I would do with your office." He smirks at me. "Although I don't see that happening anytime soon," he quips.
I guess there isn't going to be a reunification. Not that I care.
"Thanks but you don't need to pay me," the words that I didn't actually mean left my mouth from my heart not my head.
I don't want a pity handout from Michael James. No I wasn't a lucrative basketball coach but I also wasn't begging for money on the street either. I can support myself. That other commission check would greatly help though but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
"No, I insist with all you had to put up with. Please take it. It's your job and we utilized your services. It isn't your fault that the wedding didn't happen." I look up and see his honey eyes softening. I can also see the dark circles and pain on his face that he has endured the past several hours.
I nod as I grab the check from his extended hand.
" Well you didn't have to bring it all the way here."
Seriously, this could have waited til tomorrow. I don't want to be ungrateful cause I have already wrapped my head around not getting the check but I would also prefer him not to be on my doorstep.
" I know but I just couldn't let another day go by without telling you thank you."
I stare at him blankly, " For what?"
"Calling me to Savannah's bathroom so I didn't make an epic mistake."
I bite my lip. I don't want him to have any sense of gratitude. We aren't friends and we aren't ever going to be friends again, "I don't know what you are talking about."
I look up at the sky to divert this intense stare off.
"Even though it's been almost 10 years I still know when you tells when you are lying, Allie." The way he says my name makes my heart purr to life.
I know it is true that he can read me. Even if I don't want to admit it I know his body language too.
Like right now the way he keeps shifting his weight means he is nervous. What does he have to be nervous about?
"Anyway I just wanted to say thank you cause I know you didn't have to. You prevented me from making a massive mistake."
"I would have done that for anyone, it's the decent thing to do." I wave my hand dismissively so he doesn't read into my intentions.
"Whatever the reason, thank you."
I nod.
There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, " Savannah confessed the baby isn't mine either."
There was a hint of disappointment in his voice. I had already come to the conclusion that there was a good possibility the baby wasn't his but I pretend to be surprised anyways.
"Sorry to hear that."
He shrugs. "Me too."
I really need to get back inside to Walt and I don't need to hash this out any further giving him any glimmer of hope.
"Ok well I wish I could say it was a pleasure doing business with you but," Why did I lead with that. I gave him a half smile cause I wasn't exactly sure what the professional thing was to say in this situation. "I gotta get back to things." I put my hand on the door knob and back further away from him.
" Oh come on Allie, don't be like that. It's been a long time, can't we be friends?" My jaw tightens as I take in a ragged slow deep breath. Then my heart stops. I felt the tugging on the other end of the door knob.
"Bye Michael!" I bark out praying he would leave swiftly.
He isn't moving. Not an inch. The door knob continues to be tugged on from the other side then what I knew would follow, " MOM! MOM! I CAN'T GET THE DOOR OPEN!"
CRAP!
I release the door knob as Walt regains his balance from the tug of war we had over the knob.
He puts his chestnut brown head pokes outside the door, " Mom, all my homework is done can I go play basketball with Martin?"
He has stepped out of the door frame now as Walt realizes there is a man standing there. He eyes him curiously but refocuses on me.
"Ok, I'll come watch you in a minute." I breathe out.
"Ok. Can you play too? His dad was asking if you can play 2 on 2 with us." He shouts over his shoulder as he heads to the court.
"Give me a minute to change and I'll be over." Michael just stands in shock looking back and forth between Walt and I.
Walt heads off to the courts when I remember, " Walt! Where is your water bottle?"
I don't want to hear his complaints of headaches when he doesn't drink enough water.
He hurries back in the house and scurries back off towards the courts.
Michael doesn't say a word, just stands with his jaw open watching the interaction. My heart now racing as he gets a glimpse into my life. A life that I never wanted him to see.
"Hurry up MOM!" Walt bellows again as he runs off.
I wave him off like I have done hundreds of times before as I see his hair reflecting the sunlight as he makes it to the basketball court.
Michael clears his throat, " I didn't know you had a kid." It was almost a whisper.
I nod and then just repeat the urgency in which I need him to leave, "Life happened and that's why I need to go. Thanks again." I wave the check but head inside.
Michael grabs my wrist, I freeze. Paralyzed by fear that courses through me. I spin around to face him.
"Michael, what do you need? I am clearly very busy."
"Your son? I didn't know you had a son," he says astonished.
"Yah, well there is a lot you don't know." I cross my arms indicating with every form of body language possible I am not interested in discussing this further.
"Did you name him after Walter Crockrin?"
I hate that he put that together only revealing how well he knows me. Yes I named him after one of my favorite news reporters. Sue me. I was 18 at least his name isn't something stupid like Rockstar or Moonray.
I clench my jaw. "Yes."
He smiles in satisfaction.
"How old is he? He looks huge. I don't remember you being pregnant in 10th grade," he jokes.
I sigh not wanting to open up too much to him just giving vague answers.
"Of course not. He is tall for his age." I leave it at that.
"What like 7?8?"
I huff, "What does it matter Michael?! Listen just because we bumped in together doesn't magically make us friends again. You have your life and I have mine. Please don't show up here again. I don't need strange men showing up at my doorstep in front of my son." It's become increasingly more difficult to hide my aggravation.
In a defeated tone, "I am not a strange man." He hangs his head low but hopefully gets the message.
"You are a stranger to me now. Please don't come by again. I have said all that I needed to say." I say it with finality as I slam the door behind me.
I rest against the cold door trying to steady my breathing. I peek out the peephole as I see him glance away from the door over at Walt. I don't need his pity, help, or money and he needs to just walk away.
I know Michael and I know the look he is giving and this will not be his last visit. I want to cry. This is not what I was planning for my weekend. I immediately call Christy as I am in desperate need of Neapolitan Ice Cream and pizza stat.