Lucas arrived home slamming the door of the apartment. His sister who has been waiting for him worried as he came later than usual and she couldn't reach him on the phone.
Manon thought that probably Numa did not go to school after visiting her.
She sat down in the kitchen with a glass of limonade in her hand, saw her brother coming back and poured him one, she knew he liked that soda too.
"What's wrong?"
Lucas looked at her for a moment.
"Nothing"
Manon looked at him coldly.
"Let me guess, Numa did not attend class."
Lucas looked at her sideways.
"So I'm right," she gave him a radiant smile, "let me tell you, he was here in the morning."
Lucas' eyes widened in surprise.
"Really? At what time?"
Manon kept smiling at him.
"Oh, now you feel like talking to me..."
"Well, don't tell me if you don't want to."
Manon looked at him with a little pity and told him everything in detail, omitting the part where she had told Numa that she wanted to see them together.
"So he doesn't have anything with Leon, that's what he told you, right?" he took a sip of his drink, "but surely sex because Leon is not the type to be with someone just for small talk."
"Oh Lucas, please don't be such an idiot, do you really think Numa is like Leon? Really? Anyone could see how differentthey are. And sorry but what's the problem if they only have sex? Is that a bad thing? No, it's an open relationship. The problem is that you're dying of jealousy for being in his place. Why don't you talk to Numa and tell him how you feel once and for all?
"..."
"So"
"Ah I don't know Manon. I'm not sure he's interested too and I can't believe he has been with a guy like Leon."
"The problem is that you've had a bad experience and you think they're all the same but you're wrong. Leon is arrogant but he's a good person."
"You're so into that guy, you're even arguing with your own brother now."
Lucas turned around and went into his room while Manon felt like breaking something on his head in order to wake him up. She couldn't believe her brother could be such obnoxious person sometimes, and did not like to admit, but he clearly behaved foolish too. He was a smart boy, what has happened to him?
Lucas sat down at the desk and contemplated the drawing he had made of Numa, put it aside and tried uselessly to concentrate on the work he had to do for the next day, not to mention the chemistry exam that was approaching and for which he was not even half prepared.
He looked back at the drawing, and unable to bear it, he crumpled it into a ball and threw it into the wastebasket, and in its place he put the chemistry book and began to study against his will.
#
Numa arrived at the institute on Tuesday in a good mood, thinking about how he would tell him, he almost convinced himself that he would face him and tell him. It was the first time he did something like that and he felt anxious and scared at the same time, what would he say?
Romantic images were flying through his head. He had to thank Agustin for encouraging him. He arrived a little earlier that day and although the school corridors were not crowded, his classmates were waiting already waiting for him and almost arm in arm they took him aside to discuss the latest news.
He was restless during the whole class when the recess bell finally rang, he was halfway there thinking about whether he should go at that moment or wait a little longer.
He waited until the next recess and as he could he led his group to the south wing of the institute but they did not see him, and he was too embarrassed to ask one of those guys from MINT about Lucas.
After a few minutes they went to the cafeteria and ordered a couple of things and then he saw him from afar, he was in a corner with a group of classmates. But he didn't have time to go over to greet him and they turned around to Numa's dismay. Suddenly, his heart raced and he felt nervous, he didn't know what was going on with him but since he was planning to tell him about his feelings, he was getting shy, anxious and had a strange urge to hug him.
That day the hours seem not to pass, after an eternity it was finally 12:30 pm and hanging his backpack over his shoulder he ran out.
He didn't see him in the hallway and decided to wait for him outside.
On the street an unexpected image attracted his attention, a young man in jeans and a shirt with messy purple hair was waiting for him on the side.
"Oh oh" he said inwardly but Leon has already spotted him and was smiling brightly at him. He turned back, looking at those who were leaving the building, however he couldn't see Lucas so he went out to meet Leon.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
His face was obviously surprised but not displeased.
"I wanted to see you and have a talk with you."
"Ok, do you mind if we go to the corner?
"No"
They walked to the corner and stood near the curb.
"I have to go home first" said Numa, thinking as he spoke that he would need to wait to next day to talk to Lucas.
"I'll give you a ride, let me buy you lunch."
Numa didn't want to refuse his invitation, somehow he knew Leon needed someone to talk in that moment. Wasn't he a little bit like in that first encounter? At the same time felt uncomfortable to be seen with him in that moment.
"Why don't you come by later and we go out to have some drinks?" proposed Numa, thinking that would be a good solution.
Leon smiled and nodded.
" Perfect, let me take you home then."
Numa smiled sideways, and now what was he going to say?
"Oh look, here comes Lucas," added Leon.
Shit, that's bad thought Numa.
He turned slowly and saw him coming in that direction, of course it was the street he always took as he walked to the bus stop. He looked sideways.
"Hi," Leon shouted to him, but Lucas walked pass by.
Numa felt something deep inside but he didn't know what it was, suddenly he felt sad.
"Hello," Leon greeted again.
This time Lucas stopped and turned around defiantly.
"What the fuck do you want?," asked Lucas aggressively
Leon frowned.
„Hey, that's a little too much. Are you upset about anything?" asked Leon, his tone was a little playful for the situation he was in.
Lucas walked towards Leon, with a menacing look.
„You're looking for a fight, aren't you? I'm not going to give you the pleasure" he looked at Numa for a few seconds "It's not worth it."
Numa felt his blood boil at that look, he has seen it before. He felt not only hurt but also furious. The image of the club, that contempt for him, came to his mind again.
Numa stood in the middle of the two.
„You regret getting involved with someone like me, right?"
Lucas looked at him coldly.
„You said it yourself," Lucas felt an irrepressible desire to hurt him.
Numa pushed him hard, he was furious.
„You're an asshole!"
Lucas looked at him again and with a scowl he went at him, pushing him back with force.
„Don't touch me, you don't know me at all" he replied, emphasizing his last words.
He turned around and started walking.
Numa followed him and grabbed him by the arm, Lucas looked at him angrily.
„You running away?" Lucas looked at Leon out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the young man with reluctance before answering.
„No, I'm just not interested. Go with your special friend who's waiting for you" he pulled out of Numa's hand with disgust.
„Fuck you," Numa shouted.
Lucas stopped in his tracks, turned around, obviously angry and replied in a sarcastic tone
"Why? You don't like the truth?"
His eyes were cold, as he smirked. Made a vague gesture with his hand and turned around to keep walking.
„Let go of me, I'll kick his ass...," he felt like crying from the anger and pain he felt.
„Numa let go, I'm taking you home."
Numa let go of Leon's hand, he stood there leaning with his hands resting on his knees, and his legs apart, breathing with difficulty, he could not be such an idiot to start crying. He squeezed his knees tightly, digging his fingers in until the pain prevented the tears coming out of his eyes. Leon looked at him evidently worried. But to his surprise, when the young man stood up, his eyes had a deep hatred and resentment look that brought a thought to his mind,
Lucas is, finally, out of the game.
#
Lucas returned to the house when it was already night, he stayed all day in the park drawing, and cursing over and over again. He behaved like an asshole. He was trying to avoid being like that, but he couldn't just control himself. The jealousy he felt as soon as they spotted both together was overwhelming. He wanted to hurt Numa so he could suffer as much as he was doing in that moment.
It was a selfish attitude, he tried to change it several times but it was very difficult for him. His feelings for the green eyed guy were so intense, that he was still trying to figure it out how to behave.
But things have derailed from their course, everything was happening very fast and the opportunities to be together with him were decreasing until the point they almost disappeared And this time he was the one responsible for that.
He didn't know who to talk to about it, he needed someone who was in a similar situation. He tried some forums, but nothing really did match his situation. Actually, he has his sister to talk to about these things and she was not exactly the most appropriate person.
He went back to the house, freezing to the bone since he went out without his jacket.
The situation came back to his mind, he hurt him and now to go back to him would be almost impossible. How could he being the one destroying everything he wanted to have?
When he entered the apartment he saw his sister talking on the phone, in Italian and laughing heartily. Maybe he could call one of his friends there and unburden himself but he didn't want to reestablish contact with them, they belonged to a past stage of his life and he didn't want to get into trouble.
He threw himself on the bed dressed as he was, thinking that a good idea would be for the world to end at that moment and to be able to start over again. Of course it was a pathetic idea, but what could he do? Nothing. Numa was with Leon, that was obvious, maybe not officially, but they were not exactly just friends.
Maybe he has lied to his sister to see if she would tell him something about him but he wasn't sure.
"Well Lucas, someone had already told you once that you weren't good at relationships with other people" maybe that person was telling the truth.
"Shit," he whispered.