PREPARE YOURSELVES
it's rare for me to be stupid, terribly rare. as rare as a diamond showing up without me putting it there. but right now i feel stupid, out in the woods with makkari, approaching the pond that belongs to the latibule. its greener today, the stones seeming to have multipled, adding to the color.
i shouldn't feel stupid, i shouldn't for it's not something i can control. it starts in my legs, locking me in place with a pain coming onto them. it feels like being kicked in the legs, forced to the ground.
my hands hit the land, wind picking up. no, not this again. how can this be when i have not even slept? my fingers dig into the dirt, i clench my eyes shut, trying to focus on the wind, on the dirt that digs into my nails, the smell of the earth.
anything to stay here, to stop the pressure building up in my head. i feel the pounding against the ground, the way it shakes my hands. i have a sliver of hope that this time i can stay, outsmart the non existent person that is trying to hard to rip me away.
vines lift from the ground, roots clinging to me too as they try to save me from the inescapable. everything is tearing apart, the roots splitting as they try so hard to keep together, something hitting my back and sending me to collide with the ground entirely.
my ribs slam against the hard ground, a scream tearing through me as i hear a symphony of cracks in my bones, a hot stream of blood is coming from my face. my eyes, my nose, the ringing in my ear so loud that a trumpet against it would sound quieter. it only gets louder, getting to the point that i can't remember any other sounds.
you cannot allow the fallout, it will fail us all. remain yourself in line, remain yourself in line.
it repeats, it's the same as last time, the sensation. my body cannot move, my eyes are stuck in their burning state. it pushes me further into the ground, the pressure, the voice, the force. eyes are torn open when i am not where i should be, this time i am held from my throat. hard against my throat, cutting off my breath as i hear it fade into the air with a desperate squeak. my eyes bulge, trying to escapes the sockets. my ears hurt, blood within my head stuck from circulation, lungs burning for air.
it holds me against something, stone as i watch in front of me. i cant look to the side, i cannot see my friends that i know are there. now i am seeing something i've never seen before, held to the stone as i hear the yelling of druig. my eyes don't allow me to see him, only hear him as i stare at the stone opposite of me. "you are asking to erase who she is, how can you do this when you know what will happen?"he asks.
it's not the often sound, the same sentence that i often hear. how i am a lost cause, how there is nothing left of what i once was. it's so different now that had there not be the pressure against my skin i may think it was a different setting entirely. "and you are asking to let her suffer for the rest of time."a voice fights back. it has no identity, not that i know of.
my vision is blurred like my eyes have been covered with sea glass, only loose shapes and colors are truly visible. in front of me, two figures fall to a fight. dark hair hits stone, broad shoulders pressed up against it as another stands in front of him. my vision starts to clear, slowly as i can finally see what it is that is happening before my eyes. ikaris holds druig to the stone, a threatening hand up in the air.
i cant control my body, my actions as my hand lifts and sends a golden orange light through the air like a blade. ikaris is forced back, stumbling as no one attempts to catch him. his eyes full of terror as if i've stabbed him in the heart, catching himself as he stares back at me. "enough!"a voice shouts as i can finally move my eyes, to see what surrounds me. it's like i have been placed in the scene itself, turning around to see how the sky has filled with dense smoke.
echoes of gunshots far in the distance, rattling of battle gear, screams and cries coloring the sky with every color of the rainbow. it fades as the violent warriors become so obedient, eyes painted with gold and pearl as they stare up at the high place that we stand. it's tall, completely stone, a location i don't know yet. when i look back to druig, nothing has changed.
he stares back at me almost like i am not there, a stone wall. ajaks hands move up as she approaches. "this is madness, druig. you know that this isn't something that we can fix simply, you know i don't want to do this."she insists. no. no. no. this is sickness, this is delusion. she's coming towards me, hands plated with golden circles, trying to heal something. this cannot be a reality.
hands so gold and sinister that they may as well be covered in blood. this ajak, this version of her is terrifying. carrying a darkness, an anger. something is so terribly wrong here. the force comes back over me, hand lifting into the air as golden knots tie into my hands, stretching as the pupeteer forces a power into me, my head tilting.
my eyes are gaining back thay frustrating vision, making things difficult to see until i stare at whiteness. "brelione, this isn't you."i am told. an anger rises inside me, one that i don't understand and one that surely doesn't belong to me. i don't know why it makes me so angry, this isn't me. "isn't it?"my mouth moves. my voice isn't something i recognize, it's heavy, it's light with an accent that i didn't know existed. it's loud, powerful and confident.
i sound different than i thought. this makes sense i suppose since the occasions in which i've spoken were terribly low. i cannot believe that it is me who is speaking, the voice is something of sage and lemon, white and purple. layered shapes of color, floating upon my irises. it's beautiful, so much so that it shocks me.
i move my hands again, finding that it is dirt between my fingers, a painful cold across my skin, frost swirls along my flesh. i squeeze my hand together, the cold dirt a deep pigment against my pale skin. blood drips from my nose, every breath hurts as my ears fill with more and more cracks. coughs come from my throat, each one bringing more tears to my eyes, my hands almost feeling frozen.
"it's going to be alright, brelione, ajaks on the way."smooth and british, sersis voice comes into my head. it's real, it's here. "it is april 19th, 1504. im your friend sersi, you are brelione, controller of earth."she says. it's a wonder how it helps, how it makes me feel slightly less distorted like i'm finally back in my own head. "i know you're in pain, i think your ribs have been crushed by an impact, makkari got me here, she's going to be back with ajak any moment to heal you."she says.
i force myself to nod, each breath shallow as i try to find some way to breath that won't put me in pain. she is not wrong, ajak is standing to my side just seconds later, kneeling down to my level as she tells sersi to help turn me over. my blood from my nose has left a dark patch in the dirt, eyes widening as my body is turned, carefully placed against the dirt as i wince.
"oh, brelione. we will find a way to fix this i promise you."her hand meets my skin, soothing the pain as more cracks come into my ears, the ribs are coming back to place, blood returning back to where it belongs. her hand comes to my head, warm and gentle against my skin as her eyes are filled with tears. it makes me uncomfortable, seeing her so sad.
her hand comes to my hair, gentle as she moves her hand along it. "i'm so sorry,"she says again. i wish she would stop apologising for something that she has not caused. someone deserves the blame, i am not sure who. but i don't think i could ever blame ajak for this. i cant get my hands to move, i cant communicate. she wanted to erase who i am, to hurt me. i cant look at her, i cant see her the same now.
locking my eyes with the sky, snowflakes cascade upon us, into my hair, into my eyes in a beautiful depression. a figure comes from the sky, making no noise as it touches the ground, ikaris. "this is mahd wryry, ajak."he says, coming to his knees. "look at her eyes."he tells her. i move my hands again, finding that they've finally defrosted from their solid state. "you know nothing!"ajak exclaims, emotion pouring into her voice. it shocks him, visible on his features that he wasn't expecting it from her.
i move my hands again, touching them against the ground as i make myself sit up, all of their eyes stuck to me. "take it slowly, brel."sersi says, gentle. makkari isn't here, where is she? something shoots from my body, a wave of distortion escaping me, making a surprised shout come from sersi. around us, several statues have formed of thick, blue ice, trees consumed by frost.
"how's that for evolving?"ikaris whispers, the air escaping his mouth becoming a cloud of white from the cold. it doesn't look like something i've done, i dont produce ice. this hasn't been formed from water, twisted and sculpted by my thoughts. i've created water, water that didn't exist. is pain what power is?
when makkari finally returns, druig next to her, they're both shocked by the sight. so shocked they look like they've seen ghosts. "it was fire last time, ice now. what does that mean?"sersi asks, not bothering to try and stop me as i carefully stand up. the sky is not dark, not much time has passed since i was forced into the episode.
how long has it been? three minutes? three minutes away from the others and i've lost it. no wonder i need five chaperones. druig approaches me, no fear on his face as he takes me in his arms, no comment on the cold and the statues as his chin rests on my head.
it's okay, you're okay. are you seeing new things? his voice comes into my head gently, his eyes moving to the statues. his question is answered, the statues life sized and terrifying. a back to us, facing something that hasn't formed in ice. ajak, hands up as she tries to heal the version of me that didn't form either.
it's like i've been written out of the story, everything else here but me. i wonder if they can tell who is who without knowing what it is they're supposed to be seeing.
did you mean to do that?
i shake my head, sickeningly proud of it. i'm still nowhere close to understand what it is i see when i'm pulled from this reality, why the scenario keeps changing. with this newfound ability will it change again next time? a future that can be avoided and altered? "it isn't mahd wryry, ikaris. it's a rebirth."ajak says.
YEAH
SO
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
AND PLEASE NOTE
THAT CHAPTER 37-39 ARE COMING UP SOON AND THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.