Louis takes in the intoxicating smell of his home for the last time as he helps Liam move out his few boxes they packed in the last two hours which he insisted on helping out Liam with, to get his mind off things.
"Louis you're gonna hurt yourself, you're still not fully recovered. Give them to me." Liam demands.
"No, I'm fine. I can carry them myself. They're not even that heavy." Louis huffs in annoyance and picks up a box. He balances one more box on top of it to prove to Liam that he's not weak and infact he can help his brother out and is not useless.
They soon prove to be his famous last words as he loses his balance due to the weight of two boxes and drops the top box. It hits Liam right on his pinky toe. "Ow! Louis I said be careful. You can't just go killing people around." Liam says holding his hurt toe while jumping on one foot.
"Suck it up big guy. It doesn't even hurt that much." Louis rolls his eyes, trying not to laugh at him. Liam looks like a kangaroo.
His facade soon breaks when Liam gives him an almost painful but funny look and they both end up laughing. It's the first time after the accident that Louis actually laughed for real which is sort of refreshing.
After Liam finishes putting the few boxes away in his car, they spend a few minutes sitting on the front porch for a while, where they used to run like crazy and play till the sun set when they were kids. The nostalgia just hits different.
"Well, the sun's almost set, we're gonna be late. Ready to go?" Liam asks.
''Yeah, just a second.'' Louis tells Liam who nods his head at him.
Louis goes back inside the house and to his mother's room for the last time and sits on the bed. He holds Jay's sweater that's lying on the side of the bed close to his chest. ''Guess this is goodbye afterall.'' He kisses it and breathes out a sigh and leaves the room with his mother's sweater clutched in his hand.
"Let's go." Louis says to Liam. He sits in the backseat because he's still afraid something bad will happen again if he'll sit in the passenger seat and Liam doesn't force him to. He notices their mother's sweater in Louis' hand and smiles a little. He inserts the key into the ignition and starts the car.
The ride to Liam and Zayn's is quiet. Nothing much is said between them. Louis is in his own world. Liam turns on the radio for some music. He hears Louis humming to the song, while looking out the window and Liam joins him on it. A small smile stretches across Louis' face.
Liam stops by a McDonald's drive through a little while later, "Louis? You hungry?" He asks.
"Uhh, no, not really." Louis tells him. He fishes out his earphones from his bag and puts them in, blocking the outside unnecessary sound.
"Are you sure? You didn't even have breakfast."
Louis pulls out his earphones and shakes his head no, looking Liam dead in the eyes, silently telling him to stop worrying so much.
"Come on Lou. What about some fries? We used to get them every time." Liam tries to get Louis to eat something. He hasn't had anything since dinner yesterday and Liam's worried he may develop an eating disorder.
"Alright fine." Louis' not in the mood to argue and gives in to Liam, before popping his earphones back in. Liam breaths a sigh of relief and orders their meal.
After a few minutes of waiting, Liam pays for their meal and parks the car. He hands Louis the fries and unwraps the burger. Louis takes a fry in his hand and stares at it for a few seconds. He takes a small bite and chews it slowly.
By the time Liam starts driving the car, Louis manages to eat one third of his fries. He's not at all hungry but doesn't want to upset Liam either. It's bad enough they have to deal with him, he doesn't want them to stress out over him as well.
"Liam I'm full." Louis tells him from the backseat.
"No problem. At least you ate something, but try eating them after a few minutes. It's not enough and your body needs nutrition." Liam says relieved because Louis ate something and worried at the same time because of the amount of food he ate, focusing on the road ahead of him.
"I don't remember the drive to your house being this long." Louis wonders.
"The last time you visited us was like three months ago." Liam chuckles.
"Yeah, but we had dinner every weekend at our house so I didn't have to miss you for too long and I didn't have a reason to visit you every month." Louis says.
Liam smiles at Louis through the rear view mirror. "That's good to hear." He says parking his car in the driveway.
"And we've reached our destination." Liam pronounces. They unbuckle their seatbelts and get out of the car.
"There are my boys!" Zayn exclaims, a big smile plastered on his face.
"Hey z." Louis hugs Zayn.
"I hope you enjoyed your ride over here." Zayn says.
"Come on, don't treat me like I just came from Pluto." Louis says getting a laugh out of Liam and Zayn. "I didn't travel all the way over here from a different country. It was a thirty minute drive from home which felt like three hours if I'm being honest."
"It was definitely a thirty minute drive, don't exaggerate." Liam chuckles.
"Would you like to see your room?" Zayn asks, clearly not able to contain his excitement. Louis nods his head yes and they head inside the house.
"Babe? Need any help?" Zayn asks.
"No, I'm fine. Go on, I'll bring his stuff inside." Liam tells Zayn.
"Woah, I don't remember this room being like it." Louis says amused when he enters the room which will now be his. It has a queen sized bed with blue and white sheets and definitely a lot of pillows. The walls are painted white and on the right side of the room is a polished white desk with a few of his favourite books he likes to read and a chair and the ceiling has fairy lights on it, which Louis loves. He's feels so delighted that Zayn remembered these details about him.
"I know, it was a guest bedroom before, but I customized it a little to match your vibe..? Am I saying it right?"
"Yeah, your good." Louis gives out a dry laugh.
"Oh and if you want the walls to be a different colour, we can do that."
"No, they're perfect. Can I put up a few posters or something like that on them though?"
"Absolutely, whatever you want. It's your room now." Zayn tells his smiling.
"Thanks a lot." Louis tells him sincerely.
"Come here you." Zayn hugs Louis.
"Hey, you're missing me out of it." Liam says and hugs them from the back.
They break the hug and Zayn helps Liam bringing the few boxes up to Louis's room.
"Louis you can freshen up if you want. The towels are in the bathroom. We'll call you when dinner is ready." Zayn tells him and him and Liam leave Louis' room, closing the door behind them.
Louis decides to take a shower and heads towards the bathroom. Downstairs, Zayn has a million questions to ask Liam. "How did he take it?"
"He took it very well than I had imagined. But I'm still worried about his eating habits."
"He hasn't had anything since morning?" Zayn asks.
"No, I made him eat some fries on our way here but he didn't even finish those."
"Don't worry, maybe he's car sick? I think he'll get hungry once he takes a bite of my spaghetti."
"Let's hope so." Liam smiles landing a light peck on Zayn's lips which soon becomes a makeout session.
"I didn't need to see that." Harry says startling them both.
"How the fuck did you- We didn't even here you come." Liam says mortified.
"You both were busy making out and you gave me a duplicate for your house key, remember?" Harry tells them dropping his work bag and car keys on the counter and hangs his coat on the coat rack next to the door.
"So, how's Louis?" He asks them.
"He's upstairs, taking a shower." Zayn says.
"Was he too upset about the move?"
"Surprisingly not." Liam says.
"So it's a good thing right?" Harry asks when he sees the expression on Liam's face.
"I hope so, but is it normal?"
"What do you mean?" Zayn and Harry ask in unison.
"I thought it would be hard for me to convince him but it was relatively easy. He did get upset yes, but I was hoping for a more emotional, aggressive almost reaction." Liam explains to them.
"Maybe he has not been able to fully process the trauma of the incident after it happened? Jay's death was a hard pill for us to swallow and it would've been more difficult for Louis, seeing he was the last person she talked to and he was with her at her last moments." Zayn says.
"Yeah, they were really close and Louis adored her. It's possible." Harry agrees.
"Should we maybe seek professional help?" Liam wonders. "I've read a lot about these cases and Louis did take a big hit, bigger than any of us did and its not false that he may think bottling up his emotions would help him get over mum and the whole incident a lot faster."
"I think we should make him see a psychiatrist. I know one who deals with trauma after such similar accidents and she's really good with handling teenagers. Maybe talking to her would open up Louis to talk more about his feelings and he'll be more comfortable to express his emotions around us." Zayn says.
"Absolutely, but do you think Louis will agree?" Liam asks.
"Even if he doesn't want to, we are his guardians now and have the right to do what we feel is best for Louis and it's really important for him and for us too. We don't want him to shut us out because then it'll become really dangerous for him and we don't want him to hit rock bottom." Zayn tells them.
"You're right. I just hope Louis doesn't lock us out." Harry says.
"I'll call Madelyn, see if we can make an appointment." Zayn whips his phone out from his back pocket and texts Madelyn. He sends the text just in time for Louis to come downstairs.
"There he is! Louis, I missed you." Harry says.
"Hey Haz. You've been gone for half a day." Louis chuckles.
"I know but you're my most favourite person. These two annoy the shit out of me." A blush creeps on Louis' face. Hearing Harry say it, he gets butterflies in his stomach.
"Funny." Zayn says with a straight face. "Dinner is almost ready so you guys get comfortable on the couch, and we'll get the food."
Harry and Louis sit on the cosy couch Louis always sat on whenever he visited Liam and Zayn. They put on the TV and settle for watching re-runs of modern family. Louis loves that show.
Liam helps Zayn serve the spaghetti.
"This is amazing." Harry digs in the second he has the plate in his hands. "Zayn quit the company and run a restaurant. We'll invest." He jokes.
"Not a bad idea and we'll always have our own personal chef." Liam joins Harry in on his joke.
"I'll give it a thought." Zayn laughs.
Louis smiles to himself while listening to their conversation.
"Louis it's delicious. Here, have a bite." Harry says keeping the fork in front of his mouth. Louis tries it and it's really good.
"Do you like it?" Zayn asks Louis.
"Mhm, it's really good." Louis smiles softly. He maybe is a little and takes a few more bites of it before he decides he's full.
Liam is relieved Louis finally ate something. He didn't finish the entire plate but at least it's a start.
"I can't anymore." Louis tells them.
"It's fine. I'm proud of you!" Liam exclaims.
Louis gets up to get himself a glass of water. He can hear the boys' conversation and their faint laughter. He's so lucky to have a brother like Liam and amazing people like Zayn and Harry in his life. He doesn't know why but it makes him feel like an outcast, like he doesn't deserve any of this. After all, he was the reason his mum died and he can never forgive himself for that.
The thoughts become overwhelming and Louis can feel his breaths slowing down. Tears spring to his eyes and the glass of water drops from his hand, spilling it everywhere.
The sound of it grabs the boys' attention who are sitting in the living room. The first to come is Zayn.
"Louis, are you okay?" He asks worried.
Louis backs away, holding the counter for support. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I- I'll help cl- clean up."
"No it's fine, it was an accident. Don't move. Let me pick up the pieces." Zayn tells him gently.
"No, I- It's all m- my fault." Louis says trying to hold back his tears.
"It's not your fault sweetheart." Zayn says.
"I don't feel so good." Louis says holding his stomach.
"Are you hurting somewhere?" Liam asks.
"No, it's-" Louis doesn't get the chance to finish when he throws up on the floor.
"I- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Louis sobs.
"Don't be. It's okay. Come on, let me help you." Liam says.
"I'm really sorry, I-"
"Shh, you have nothing to be sorry about." Harry tells him gently, making his way towards him. "Let's go to your room."
"I don't- I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey stop saying that. Everything's fine. These things happen. Let's clean you up. Come on." Harry holds Louis' hands and leads him upstairs.
He wets a towel and cleans Louis' chin and face with it and then fishes out some new clothes for Louis to wear.
"I- I can do that." Louis says, taking the hoodie from Harry's hands. Harry leaves the room and closes the door behind him to give Louis his privacy. Louis changes into those fresh clothes and brushes his teeth.
He can hear the boys discussing something but is too embarrassed by his little breakdown downstairs and cannot gather the courage to go face any of them right now.He doesn't have any energy left and crawls into bed, pulling the cold sheets over him.
He hears someone knocking on the door but doesn't say anything and pretends to sleep. Harry sits on the side of his bed and gently strokes his hair. "It's all going to be fine." He whispers, careful of not waking Louis up.
~~~~
Chapter 13!
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