Bucky's POV
"And how is the alcohol problem going?"
"It was never a problem." I clarify. "But I don't drink as much as I used to." Just like how I don't smoke as much as I used to. And I sleep regularly.
Guess life is worth living if you have someone to live for. I smile at the thought of her.
"I'm assuming this is about Isla?" Dr. Raynor inquires, the corners of her mouth twitching upward. "I really like the effect she has on you but you can't bind your happiness to her."
"I am pretty sure I can." She's a walking sunshine. How can I not bind my happiness to that?
"All I am saying is that even though I am really happy for you, it's not healthy to depend on one person for happiness. If you do that, you will lose yourself if you should one day ever lose her."
"You think I will lose her?"
"That is not what I said. All I am saying that it is possible. I don't have to explain to you how the world works. People come into our lives and leave. It's the way things are. And sometimes it doesn't matter how much they love us and how much we love them, sometimes life is just cruel to us. And if life should ever be cruel to you again I don't want you to fall back to old habits just because you depend on Isla to be happy." She explains. I guess it makes sense. Even though I don't want to think about it now because right now I am happy and right now I don't want to think about how life would be without her.
She's the first thing I think about when I wake up. She's my last thought before I sleep. She's in my dreams, she's constantly in my head, my heart, my life. She is my life. And until now I didn't realise how desperate I am when she's not around. I guess it's not healthy, just like Dr. Raynor said, but I'd rather be a sick bastard than be without her.
"James?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry. I was... thinking of something."
"Of something, sure." Her expression falters from a serious glance to a soft smile. "Come on. I know you don't care about anything I say and just want to talk about her. Shoot."
I smile and start. "Okay, so the other day I was over at her place..."
-
"Dude. You can't believe how happy I am you called me for help."
"You say that as if I never call you at all." I roll my eyes.
"You don't." Sam argues. "Anyways, why the change of heart? I thought you were happy with your current living situation?"
"I just want to change it up a bit. A bed and maybe a few decorations, I don't know." I look at the different types of beds in the furniture store we went through. It's nearby so we wouldn't need a vehicle to transport it to my place.
"I wonder what you need a bed for." Sam smirks.
"To sleep, Sam. To sleep."
"Yes, sure." He nods his head. "And I am also sure that a certain young woman across the hall has absolutely nothing to do with your sudden desire to have a real bed and not just a mattress?"
"Oh, piss off." I groan even though he is right. I feel bad because she feels bad for me whenever she's over. Most of the time we are at her place because it's a lot more... homely than my apartment but sometimes when she does come over I can see the way her mood changes. She feels bad for me when she sees the mattress and the lack of effort I put into my apartment so I want to change that. To make her happy. I'd do anything to make her happy. "How about this?"
"This is a single's bed."
"So?"
"Do you plan to let her crash on the floor when she's over?"
"No. But the smaller the bed the closer we have to lay down together." I confess.
Sam starts jumping up and down while laughing and screaming and pushing me away. "You sick son of a bitch! She really got to you."
"Yeah, it's pathetic."
"No, it's not. Little Bucky is in love. That's sweet, man."
"It's pathetic that I am talking to you about this." I clarify causing him to fake a heart attack. "Stop acting like that and help me find some decorations. Should I buy a plant?"
"A plant? You can't even take care of yourself. That plant would be dead the second it left the shop."
"I love how much trust you have in me." I ironically say and keep looking. "Maybe a fake plant? Or a tablecloth?"
"Or how about we start of simple with curtains and pillows. Pillows that didn't come with the apartment."
"Sounds like a plan." I follow him around and pick out some blue curtains. I actually wanted to have some plain black or white ones but Sam told me that I need to add some colour to my apartment so I guess that's what I am doing. We buy a few other things like cutlery because apparently eating with plastic forks isn't what normal people. Despite my primary thoughts I decide against a single bed and buy a double one instead.
I pay for everything and then we transport it to my place. I know she's still in class right now so I want it to be a surprise for when she comes home tonight. We go upstairs and build the bed and decorate the place.
"Wow. It actually looks like someone lives here now." Sam says when everything is done. He is right. We didn't change much but even the smallest details turned this whole dirt hole upside down. "Now how about some beer and heart to heart?"
"Beer is in the fridge." I sit down.
"Want one?"
"No thanks." Not for today. He opens a bottle and sits down in front of me. "Thanks for you help today."
"I am always there for you, man. Just call me whenever." He offers. "So, how is it going? Does her family know yet?"
"Only aunt and cousin." I explain not wanting to think about it. I don't want to rush things with her and I realise that it is difficult for her to talk with her mother given her mother's... nature. But I also want her fully to myself. Committed to me fully. I want everyone to know she's mine, no matter how crazy that sounds.
"You okay with that?"
"Her family is difficult. And she needs time."
"I mean, yeah, I get that but how do you feel about this? About your relationship being a secret?"
"It's not a secret." We do go around holding hands. We go on dates in public. Her friends know. It's only a secret when it comes to her family.
"Buck."
"What do you want me to say, Sam? Of course I want her family to know. Who would want to be kept a secret from the family of the woman you love? But right now it has to be that way. I can't do anything about it."
"Sorry."
"Not your fault."
"I am still sorry."
My phone rings interrupting our conversation. I pick it up and press answer when I see Isla's name. "Hey."
"Hey, I am downstairs at the PizzaHut right now. Do you want anything?"
"No, I'm good. We just ate."
"We?"
"Sam is here."
"Oh, tell him hello from me. Is he hungry?"
"Are you hungry?" I ask him but he shakes his head. "No, he's good. Drop by my place before you go to yours, okay?"
"Sure. Love you."
"Love you." I whisper so Sam doesn't hear and then hang up. Unsuccessfully.
"Love you." He imitates my voice and makes kissing sounds. "I love you, Isla. Mwah!"
"You act like a teenager." I tell him.
"Says you? The one who redecorated his entire place just for a girl? Simp behaviour."
"Simp?"
"Can't believe you're dating a twenty year old but still don't know the most simple slangs." He murmurs. "Anyways, I should go. Wouldn't want to be in the middle of the... inauguration party for the bed."
"We are not some sick sex addicts who can't keep their hands off of each other, Sam. You can stay." I assure him. "She didn't see you in a while. She mentioned the other day that she missed you."
"What's with that eyebrow crease? Why- wait!" He hesitates for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "Buck, are you jealous?"
"Wh- of you? No? Don't be ridiculous."
"You are. Man, you know that that girl is madly in love with you for some weird reason, right? She wouldn't even look at any other man, let alone your best friend."
"You're not my best friend."
"Don't lie to yourself. I am." He gives me a slap on the back. "And even though I missed Isla too I need to go. Gotta visit my sister."
Thank God. I would never admit this but I hoped for Isla and me to be alone. I follow Sam to the door and smile when I see Isla approaching the moment I open the door.
"Hey, you two!" She smiles at both of us. "Sam!" She wraps her arms around him pulling him into a tight hug. A bit too tight. I need to learn to control this jealousy. I know that Sam would never betray me like that. And of course neither would Isla. "Are you leaving already?"
"Yes, I promised my sister I'd visit her."
"Wait, I didn't know you had a sister. You need to come around more." She tells him.
"If this sucker invited me over more, I would." Sam turns around to me. "Just text me whenever you guys are free. I'd love to hang."
"We will." She hugs him again. "I will see you around."
"Have fun." He looks at both of us and then disappears in the hallway. The second he's out of reach I grab her wrist and pull her into my apartment.
"Hey." I kiss her lips and cup her face between my hands.
"Miss me?"
"Always." I whisper and kiss her again. Maybe we are sex addicts who can't keep their hands off of each other. At least I am. "I have to show you something."
I take a step aside and watch her eyes widen in surprise when she sees all the decorations. "Oh my God! This looks amazing! You decorated the place."
"You like it?"
"Are you kidding me? Yes! I was thinking about it for so long but didn't want to push you." She walks around my living room and analyses each corner in depth.
"Might wanna take a look at the bedroom. While you're at it."
"You did not." She gasps and runs to my bedroom, then comes out seconds after jumping up and down. "You did!"
"I was hoping you'd like it."
"Love. It." She whispers against my mouth before pressing her lips onto mine. "Can't wait for all the memories we'll make on that bed."
"I am intrigued."
"But first I need your help with my groceries. The elevator didn't work and I didn't want to carry them up the stairs."
I groan. "You can't tease me like that and then tell me to wait."
"Oh, Bucky, I can do anything I want because you're in love with me so you will do absolutely whatever I ask of you."
"I hate that you're right." I open the door and let her leave first.
We walk downstairs using the stairs and then head upstairs again with me carrying the grocery bags. Halfway through the way we hear the elevator operating again. "Of course it only starts working again when we're already almost there."
"If it helps, you look very hot when you carry heavy stuff. It makes your muscles flex."
"Oh?"
She nods, her eyes devouring me. God, this woman. "Fuck the groceries." I whisper more to myself than her, then leave them on the stairs and press her against the wall, kissing her.
"Just leave the bags here." She pants. "We can get them later."
I nod and kiss her again, then catch her by her thighs when she jumps up. Without tearing my lips from her, I try to find my keys in my pockets. If I don't find them soon I will just fuck her right here and now.
She's driving me mad. Wherever I go, all I can think about is her. She's turning me into someone I never thought I could be and I don't know if I should like that version of me or not. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."
"Tell me."
There it is. Her sweet, little praise kink. I figured that one out pretty quick when we did it the first time and she moaned louder with every compliment.
"You have so much power over me. I'd die for you."
A tiny moan escapes her lips and I tighten my grip on her ass. Where are those fucking keys?
"Petition to take you against the wall?" I half-jokingly ask. All I need to hear is a yes and I'd do it. That's how much I need her.
"Granted."
I walk upstairs and then press her against the wall again, this time more aggressive and passionate. I want her to feel how much I care for her. How much I love her. How mad she drives me.
"I love you so much."
A moan again. The pressure in my pants is rising and my dick is begging to be let out. Almost as if she can read my mind her hands find their way down to my belt and start unbuckling it. I press my hips against her hand so she can feel my growing excitement.
"Isla." I pant. I worship you.
"Isla." Someone else says.
Someone else says.
Someone else.
Someone. Else.
Shit. I pull away from her the same second her eyes open. She gets off of me and we turn around. A stranger is starring at us with her eyes wide open and her mouth formed into a thin line. I can't read her expression. It's something between anger and disgust.
Why does she look so familiar? I could've sworn I've seen her before.
"Isla." She speaks again.
"Mom."
Fuck.