Another day in Arkham and Edward dragged himself into the day room. He hated it in there, it was full of crazies talking to themselves or their imaginary friends. Others claiming to be speaking to God, and still others that thought they were God. I was full of people that wouldn't know a good riddle if it punched them in the face. Which on the odd occasion, he had found himself doing. But despite all that, it was better than spending the whole day in his pokey, drab, claustrophobic room, or so he thought.
"Oh, look who it isn't." A chuckle came. Edward groaning as soon as he heard the voice.
This little sojourn in Arkham had been made all the worse by a certain woman. Known as Nitrous in criminal circles, (y/f/n) (y/l/n) was the best getaway driver in the business, and if it had wheels and an engine, she could steal it. She had been employed, at one time or another, by all the biggest crime bosses in Gotham. And her last job, to steal an eight million dollar Mercedes Benz Maybach Exelero, had ended with her being locked up in Arkham. Edward had heard that the job had gone without a hitch until Nitrous had decided to pay a little visit to the GCPD, ploughing the multimillion dollar automobile into the front of the main precinct before jumping out with guns blazing, taking out two cops, a drug dealer, a convicted arsonist, and one civilian. So now, she was here in the asylum, diagnosed with all manner of disorders, and annoying the living hell out of Edward.
"Well, if it isn't The Puzzler." (Y/n) said with another chuckle, watching as Edward visibly shuddered.
"It's The Riddler, and you fuckin know it is." He growled in reply, as he glared at the grinning woman.
"Oh, is it? Well silly me." (Y/n) smirked, as a wicked glint sparkled in her eyes.
"Look, I'm not in the mood for you today. I've got better things to do than waste my time with the likes of you." Edward told the driver, as he dropped himself into one of the tattered old sofas in front of the TV. Saturday morning cartoons lighting up the screen in a riot of colour.
The rest of the patients moved away as soon as the feared criminal sat down. And when they saw the look in (Y/n)'s eyes, most left the room. The other patients knowing that they may be crazy, but there is a difference between crazy and stupid, and very few of them were stupid enough to hang around if The Riddler and Nitrous were going to get into it again.
"Ooooooooo, do tell, what possible thing could you have better to do today? Oh no, let me guess! You'll have salmon and quail's eggs for breakfast, followed by a trip to your tailors to get yourself another one of those spiffy green suits that you favour. Then you'll have lunch at the gentlemen's club, followed by an evening at the opera and finally dinner back at your penthouse apartment, washed down with a bottle of the finest French Champagne." Nitrous replied sarcastically, as she jumped onto the other side of the sofa from him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Edward groaning loudly as he reluctantly looked over at the woman.
"Look pal, just cos the rest of these loonies think that you are some kinda hotshot doesn't mean we all do. Just accept the fact that you ain't got anything else better to do today, and you probably won't have for the foreseeable future." (Y/n) continued scornfully, as she turned her attention to the TV.
Edward wanted to scream. Nearly every day was like this. As soon as he left his room she would be there with sarcastic comment after sarcastic comment. Edward liking to think that if he had had his gun, he would have shot her already. But there was a little part of him that was still Ed. Still the sweet, shy forensic investigator. And he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. Couldn't be without her.
He hated to admit it, but most days he found their battle of wits stimulating. It was the only thing that kept him relatively sane in this insane world. (Y/n) challenged him, questioned him, forcing him to think on his feet as he attempted to best her in their verbal battles. Even though she made him want to rip his lank hair from his head, he couldn't help but smile when he thought about her in his room at night. She was beautiful, intriguing and intelligent, and had a wicked streak a mile long, which Edward couldn't help finding himself attracted to.
But today wasn't most days. Edward was finding that he couldn't sleep, and in fact, he had barely slept in days. The whole thing making his already frayed temper, shorter than it was usually.
"Alright Speed Racer, listen up. Before your narcissistic personality disorder takes over completely let's get out a few home truths. I am The Riddler. Not The Questioner, not the Puzzler, or anything else that minute intellect of yours can come up with. And you, you are little more than a glorified chauffeur with ideas above her station. You are a mere car thief that somehow made a name for herself by driving around criminals who you are at the beck and call of, like some kind of little lapdog." Edward announced. Unable to stop himself from grinning when he saw the fire burning in her eyes, knowing that he had touched a nerve. Edward not allowed to enjoy his little victory for too long, as he found himself tackled to the floor. (Y/n) sitting on top of him, holding his arms above his head, and growling under her breath.
"If you want home truths, how about this. You are nothing more than Oswald's little pet. A joke with a dissociative personality disorder. You think you are something special because you killed a few assholes. Because you can outwit people with IQs lower than a cockroach. That you scare a few people. Well, guess what, pal. You don't scare me. You never have, and you never will. You are just another criminal in a city full of criminals." (Y/n) hissed, as she struggled to keep hold of the tall, slender, yet strong Edward. The two glaring at one another, growling like wild animals fighting in a pit for the amusement of onlookers.
Within an instant Edward had flipped her over, so now he was the one pinning her to the ground. His lips meeting (Y/n)'s without warning, as he straddled her hips. For a moment she tried to fight, struggling briefly under his lean form, before she found herself returning his needy kiss.
As he pulled away, Edward looked down into her stunned face. (Y/n)'s mouth opening and closing, as if she was trying to say something, yet nothing was coming out.
"Well, if I had known that would shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago." Edward laughed, as he rested his forehead against (Y/n)'s.
"And if I had knownthat making you angry would make you do that, I would have tried harder, so youwould have done it sooner." (Y/n) grinned, as she pulled Edward down foranother kiss. Edward smiling, as he realised, that no matter how much he hatedArkham, this latest enforced stay might just prove to be enjoyable