Close Again
"So far away
you see the same moon
I see
and it makes us close again" -Atticus.
~Atticus POV~
I was sitting for roughly ten minutes thinking about what this-this woman just told me.
"God bless you." She said in a sing song voice with a faint smile. I looked up from the ground and flared my nostrils at her because-this bitch!
"Get out." I said and she pulled back.
"Atticus."
"How stupid do you think I am?" I asked her standing up pointing at myself.
"I'm not trying to make you a fool."
"Uh-oh? Really now?"
"Ciara is a year younger that Alister, you didn't find out about everything until I was pregnant, you were so angry you just threw my things out without an explanation-Atticus I-I wouldn't lie about this." She said softly, I looked at her and she had tears welled up in her eyes.
"I know you've always wanted a daughter and well-yes I guess miracles do happen to bitches." She said repeating the word I called her. My heart fluttered, oh my God.
"Three years? You kept her from me for three years." I couldn't help but still be mad.
"You threw me out- you didn't want to hear anything from me Atticus." She said raising her voice.
"Was I supposed to want to hear anything from you, you slept with my brother!"
"It was an accident!"
"Rose, it wasn't him alone, that's a lot of accidental dick!"
"You've slept with women too!"
"I have never slept with a woman while we were together, why would I break up my happy marriage, you were my ALL." I screamed and stopped to calm myself.
"Let's go to my office." I said because the bar was getting full. We entered my room to drown out the music, since it was sound proof. I walked up to my table and looked at Alister's picture on my desk. I left my office to get some water quickly and returned to see her sitting in the chair.
"Atticus."
"Rose." I said turning to her.
"You've never slept with any other woman?"
"Rose NO!" I screamed at her again because she loves to argue.
"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to feel like a bad father."-
"You could never make me feel like a bad father."- I said through gritted teeth.
"I raised Alister on my own for three healthy years, he's been in good hands, he never once went hungry or felt neglected because I love my son with my all." I said looking straight at her.
I love him too."
"You leave the people you love, because you are so good at leaving. You could have fought, tried to explain but you didn't even fight to get back in the house, you left willingly."
"You threw me out!"
"And you left willingly!"
"Atticus the past is the past and I'm back now and we can be in both of our children's lives." She said and I raised a brow at her.
"You turned your back on Alister when you mysteriously forgot that he wasn't your child. You wanted to go through the whole surrogacy because you were 'barren' remember?" I said air quoting barren.
"Who wouldn't feel a way, I thought he was another woman's child."
"He is another woman's child! That's how surrogacy works!" I screamed, my eyes widened.
"I was in the program." She shouted and I stared at her blandly, wanting her to elaborate.
"You have been sending out messages to the mother every month, right?" She asked and I bit my jaw.
"Yes, anyone can know that, what's your point?"
"Really Atticus? It's an private organization and how can someone see it if you're texting it from your computer?"
"It's my phone." I said, it didn't matter-I didn't like her winning a point.
"It's Mother's Day everyday because well I'm here." She said quoting the words Alister made me type.
"I get his messages, they are so sweet, I miss him and I miss you." She said and I bit my jaw.
"I'm sorry I kept it from you, I just didn't know how to come back but-Atticus I want us to try- I want us to go one more time and it will last. I know it will." She said.
"I'm his mother and I want to be in his life again-I'm ready to be in his life again-I'm ready to be in his life again, Ciara and I- we're ready." She said standing and walking over to me. She placed her hand on my chest and the other on my face. I closed my eyes taking in her warmth.
"I can't say how sorry I am-but I can make it up to you both." She said softly before smiling at me and I folded, just like I know I would. I grabbed her face and kissed her and she wrapped her hands around me.
I pulled away and took a relieved breath out, Alister has a mother, it's going to make him so happy and that mattered to me and maybe I was ready to try again with her.
I'm sorry L-
"I know this is early but since I'm back in your picture, you don't need a nanny." She said and I nodded before gulping down saliva.
I'm sorry Louisa.
"I'm going to go get Ciara and I'll spin by later. I love you." She said kissing my cheek and heading out of my office.
I rubbed my hands together and took a deep breath in then out.
I guess I don't have to use the emails anymore to reach out to anyone. I reached inside my pocket for my phone and it wasn't there, I turned to see it on my desk and kissed my teeth for not remembering that I placed it there.
I walked out of my bar and went into my car, I drove home slowly dreading how I have to face Louisa, my heart was beating rapidly, my palms were sweaty. Why was I so nervous?
I reached my home and pulled into the driveway and jumped out of the car, let's get this over with. I opened the door and the house was quiet. I saw Alister sitting on the couch with his iPad.
"Hi daddy, is mommy here?" He said bouncing up from the couch with a wide smile and a sparkle in his eyes.
"Who told you about that?"
"Louisa told me that you went out to find my mommy, did you find her? Did you find her?!" He said excitedly.
"I did buddy and you have a sister." I said and he became so excited.
"I'm a big brother!"
"Yes, and- you wouldn't need a nanny anymore because you will have a mommy." I said my words hurting me more than him.
"I know-Louisa told me so." He said confidently.
"You're not mad?"
"No, I'm happy!" He screamed hugging me.
"Okay-daddy has to go break the news to Louisa." I said taking a deep breath in and walking up the stairs anxious to face her.
"Louisa already knows-that's why she left." He said and I stopped, feeling a sharp pain in my chest.
"What do you mean she left?"
"Mommy called to speak with me and Louisa said that she wouldn't be living with me anymore but she'll still talk with me from time to time, I told her that she was the best nanny any kid can have and she looked sad but then she was happy." He said and I smiled faintly at my son, he turned back to his iPad and I ran up the stairs to Louisa's room and the cold air hit me.
I ran over to the closet and swung the doors open and all her clothes were gone. I dropped to the ground to search under the bed and her shoes were gone too, I opened the bathroom and it was all cleaned out, everything she owned was gone and the room was just filled with a lonely coldness.
I turned to walk out of her room and turned back to see if it was real and it was. I remember the first time I stood here watching her sit on the bed and admire the room, her curls were always so vibrant. She has a smile that lit up this room and now it's gone.
Her laugh so perfect, her rudeness so blunt but attractive, her weird dances so-weird.
I heard a faint knock on the front door and I pulled her door in behind me and jogged down the stairs. I opened the door to see Rose and a straight haired girl.
"Hi."
"Hello." She said looking up at me, she was the spitting image of Rose not so much me, I guess Alister pulled from me and she pulled from Rose.
"I'm Ciara." She said and hugged me and I hugged her back. It felt weird because I missed all the milestones but there were memories to be made.
"And I'm your big brother Alister!" Alister said and he hugged her and pulled her to play.
I turned to watch them run and play on the iPad and I smiled at the sight. My face was turned slightly back to Rose and she captured my lips in a kiss.
"It's good to be back." She said before hugging me.
"Let me go fix up the room, I think it's in a mess." I told her before walking up the stairs soaking everything in.
I opened my room and the air smelled like her, I closed my eyes to savor the aroma, the last time I saw her she chased me into the arms of another woman.
I walked over to my bed and a letter under the lamp caught my eyes. I picked it up and it was her hand writing. I opened the letter and read it.
"Atticus, thank you for everything you have given to me, you have given me the best year that I've had,well in years, I will not forget you and I hope you won't forget me, I love Alister, you're a wonderful father and you have a wonderful son.
You might read this and get mad but, I've transferred your money off of your credit card to mine just to help me with a few months rent for my new apartment, oh and I got a job, yay! I will pay you back when I start up working so don't get all crazy.
You have my number, anytime Alister needs to contact me, he can and we can go on little dates because that kid has made his way in my heart and he will stay there.
I didn't know what you chose to do, but Rose called and confirmed it and I know you would have made the right decision and I'm happy for you. Our time spent together was euphoric, I'm sorry to leave without speaking to you face to face but it was for the best, the best being you.
Goodbye Mr.Cattaneo.
Sincerely The Nanny."
I sat at the edge of my bed taking a deep breath in, my eyes dampened. I smiled before putting her letter in a draw and locking it. Rose knocked on the door and came to sit next to me.
"Are you alright?" She asked putting her head on my shoulder.
"Yes." I said kissing her forehead. You're wrong Louisa, you can love another woman and be with someone else because here I am sitting with the mother of my children and I'm in love with you.