Chris POV
Ever since me and Shawnie broke up, I've had to deal with Ammika. I haven't seen her son since that day at the penthouse house. I have been texting her on and off and I think I might be ready to meet him again. I just have to keep in mind what Ammika's motives might be. I know she wants me back and I'm just not trying to go there with her again. She's off in the head.
We've pretty much been on good terms and the conversation has strictly been about her son, well I guess I should say my son. She's gone back to Germany, so I think I'm going to take a trip over there and see what happens. We FaceTime every now and then and she lets me see him. I gotta admit, he does kind of look like me. I feel bad a little bit that idea what I did but I still feel justified because I feel like idea what I had to do to keep my relationship.
Shawnie and I have been having all types of issues and I'm not gonna say that some of it isn't not my fault because I have definitely started shit on purpose. I feel like I wanna work things out with her and I want us to get back together but then again, I think about all of the shit that we've been through and the shit that she put me through that was just so unnecessary and I feel like I'm better off without her. I can't act like I didn't do shit to her. Hell, I did more shit to her than she's done to me. I don't blame her for leaving but I'm literally fighting with myself about this.
I guess it's just being scared of being alone again. I was with this woman off and on for three years of my life. Most of the time we were on and I woke up to her 95% of that time. Even when she was messing around with Drake I was still actively in her life, fucking her. I don't even remember what my life was before her, it's so weird. I feel like I don't want to know what life is without her because she's been a part of me for so long. It's hard. I can't lie about that but I'll eventually have some clarity on this matter and make the right decision for myself.
It's just still taking me a long time to get used to my new reality of being single Chris again. I'm so worried about her and my daughter, I'm trying to talk to other women but nothing sticks. Don't get me wrong, you know I've been fucking bitches, that's what I do but mostly, I've only been working. That's what I always stick to. I work. Slime and B just released and I think it's time that I start celebrating and living my life again. I need to try to look past this situation.
The label is actually treating this as if it is a studio album which I'm not complaining about because I get to film some videos in the process. I'm getting a lot of advertisements as well. Anyway, I was out minding my business with all my boys, we were celebrating the release of the mixtape.
I was enjoying life, no care in the world. Yeah, I was half drunk, high, and as always, surrounded by beautiful women.
I really needed this night out. I don't go out as much as I used to, so this was long over due. I had my guy Trey with me and we were lit as Fuck. Then I saw her... Lori Harvey.
I was kind of stuck for a minute and thankfully I had glasses on because I was staring hard as fuck. She walked over with her girls and started speaking to everyone and when she got to me she smiled and hugged me.
"What's up?" I say pulling away from her.
"Nothing, what's up with you? It's nice to meet you." She smiles.
"It's nice to finally meet you too. You single?" I ask. I'm getting right down to the point because I know if I do or say anything the media is going to make a big deal about it and I am definitely about to shoot my shot.
She laughs, "Wow! Right too, huh? Yeah, I'm single. Are you?" She asks
"I'm very single." I say, "Sit down, talk to me." I gave her my drink and we sit down in the booth.
"Are you sure you're single? Because I don't do baby mama drama. And you have two of them." She says
"Nah, she ain't even like that." I laugh. "Give me your number.."
She smiles and hands me her phone. "But ask me first."
"Can I have your number?" I say smiling, "Please."
She laughs, "I'm only giving it to you because I want you to have it and you're kinda cute."
I put my number in her phone and then I'll text myself and then I give her her phone back.
"Kinda?" She's crazy. She knows I'm cute.
"Yes, kinda." She says
"Let's go out tomorrow for lunch, see where shit takes us." I say
"You are very confident. I like that." She says with an intrigued look on her face.
"Hell yeah! I'm not about to miss his opportunity." I say and she laughs.
"You have my number, call me." She winks at me, then stands up.
I see someone taking pictures, so I stand up too, grabbing her waist. I pull her closer to me.
"Come home with me." I whisper in her ear.
"We can go to lunch tomorrow and we'll talk about what's next." She says
"I know what you're up to. If you're trying to be seen," she nods her head towards the door, "...let's be seen."
I laugh. But I'm not going to miss this opportunity to get these shots outside. Shawnie is going to be so jealous. I can't wait to see her face when she sees these photos.
"Aight, let's go." I say
As we were walking out, of course paparazzi were everywhere. They started asking me all types of questions about Shawnie and Drake's relationship, but I wasn't trying to hear none of that. I know they see Lori Harvey standing here with me. I think if any time was a better time to talk to them that it should be right now.
"Man, I don't have anything to say about their relationship. That's my ex and that's it. We not romantically involved anymore. She's all pregnant and shit anyway, so that shit is dead."
As soon as I said that, I realized she hasn't made the announcement yet. Fuck! She's going to be so pissed at me. That wasn't my place to tell anyone anything. Not like I did it on purpose but shit, it slipped out. Oops! Oh well. I know I got an ass beating coming.
I walk Lori to her car, which is waiting for her a few feet away, then I get in my car and head home.
******
The next day, I woke up to being hit in the face numerous times with a pillow. I jumped up ready to fight. I was about to haymaker whoever it was but when I grabbed the person I realized it was Shawnie.
"WHAT THE FUCK? YOU TOLD PAPARAZZI I WAS PREGNANT?!?!?" She yells
I let her go and sit down on the sofa, rubbing my face, trying to get my bearings together. Man I just woke up and I gotta deal with this? This is some straight bullshit.
"Yo, why are you here so early? Where's Gen?" I reach for my phone on the coffee table but she swats my hand away and sits on the table.
"I'm waiting for an answer, Chris. I've been on the phone with PR all damn morning..."
"What is your problem?" I'm so fucking irritated. It's too early for this. "Why are you yelling?"
"You know what my problem is. I trusted you with that information and you just told everyone?" She says
"Yo, my bad. I was just talking and it slipped out." I explain.
"You did that shit on purpose. You've been so out of hand lately..." She shakes her head at me. "Whatever... Fuck you. I just came here because I thought I'd give you a chance to explain yourself. It seems that was a mistake."
"I don't remember last night. Where's my daughter?" I ask looking around for her.
"Not here. And you're dating Lori Harvey? That's not going to last long. You planned that didn't you? You're so pissed off about our situation that you went and said that shit on purpose."
"No I didn't...I said I don't remember. Damn!" I say
"You on drugs again?"
I just look at her in disbelief. I can't believe she would say that, that hurts. "Shawnie, I—."
She cuts me off, "I know you are... I'm so sick of that excuse. I don't remember. Well it's not going to get you out of this this time."
"Really?" I look at her puzzled. "Excuse? Damn, Shawnie—?"
"What? That hurt your feelings? I don't care, Fuck you."
"Damn, chill." I say trying to process everything she's throwing at me. I can't keep up.
"Oh, you can say hurtful shit to me but I can't?"
"I'm not saying that. I didn't do it on purpose.... And I apologized to you. I said sorry. WHAT FUCKING MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" I yell, with an attitude, but then I caught myself. I can't get upset right now. "FUCK!!" I'm so frustrated with her. "Shawnie, I'm not on drugs. It just slipped out and I'm sorry for that." I say calmly.
"Whatever..."
"It was an honest mistake." I say
"It was a stupid mistake. I keep all of your fucked up secrets and I tell you something out of respect for you, so you wouldn't find out like everyone else and you go and blab the first chance you get. Do you realize you can go to prison for what you did to Ammika?"
"Yeah."
"But yet I hold that secret and I don't say anything because I don't want you to go. I could go for withholding information, for protecting you. And you couldn't do this one little thing for me." She says
"I said it was a mistake." I say calmly. She can't fight with me if I'm calm. "I wanted to tell you, I'll let you take Gen with you to Toronto, but I need us to alternate every two weeks visiting. I can come there and we meet somewhere, and you can come here. Can you agree to that?"
"Yeah, whatever. She was going anyway." She says
"Why can't you just say okay. Why you gotta talk shit when I'm trying to be mature about this bullshit that you put me in. I'm not about to sit here and let you keep talking to me like you're crazy. Like you don't know I'm that nigga. You should know out of anybody not to play with me when it comes to my daughter. You've been moving and acting real funny. Miss me with all that." I say
"Oh..... okay......And just so you'll know, you hurt me." She says
"And you fucking broke me." I snap at her. I can't deal with this shit anymore. "Bitch I'm hurting too. You think you're the only motherfucker with feelings? Fuck outta here..." I'm over her shit.
"And you act like you didn't do any of this to me either?" She says
"I DID!" I yell, "I FUCKING DID. I FUCKED YOU OVER. I GET IT. I FUCKED UP IN THE BIGGEST WAY POSSIBLE AND I'M TRYING TO LIVE WITH THAT. I KNOW." I snap at her again. This time harder.
This is the bullshit I be talking about. She brings this shit out of me. I try to be nice and calm and trying to chill out and I tell her to calm down, so I don't react. But when I react, she wanna get all scared and shit. She literally is my trigger. She triggers me with the bullshit antics She be doing.
"I admitted that but you're acting like I didn't do anything to try to fix it. You're wrong too, Shawnie. I know I fucked up, you fucked up too. Why is shit going so bad between us right now. This time shit is different as hell and every time I try to fix it it just seems like shit gets worse.... You know what, forget about all of that. I see we are never going to see eye to eye on this and we're going to continue to wanna blame each other, so let's just kill the conversation. You take her, I said I was sorry, it slipped out. My bad. Go talk to y'all's shared PR team and go figure it out. It's too early for this bullshit." I lean back on the sofa and close my eyes.
"You're a fucking dumbass. It's one in the afternoon. It's not early." She says standing up and walking towards the door. "I do not know how and why I fell in love with your stupid, drugged up ass. I should've stayed the fuck at home.... Stupid ass Party Tour, fucked my life up. I HATE YOU!!" She says, slamming my front door.
"THE FUCK....." I jump up and run after her. I open the door and grab her, push her back in the house and close the door behind us.
I throw her on the door, "Take it back."
"What? I ain't taking shit back. Fuck you, Christopher." She says in my face.
I grab her by her throat, "Take back saying you regret meeting me."
"No." I was holding her by her throat and I know my grip was tight but she was looking me dead in my eyes and she didn't even seem like she was scared, she was actually smirking at me.
"No?" I repeat. I can't believe this.
"No...I hate you and I'm going to make you regret meeting me." she says and we stare each other down for a few seconds. She doesn't flinch as my hand is getting tighter around her throat. I swear I'll pop her fucking head off of her body.
This bitch pisses me off so fucking much. I swear to God I can't stand her ass.....
I sigh at my next thoughts.....but I fucking love her so much. I wish I could just turn this shit off. Fuck. I'm losing my mind over this shit.
I let my guard down and I kissed her. She instantly kisses me back. I let my hand fall from her throat, and I pulled her close to me. I missed this so much. This feels so good. When I pulled her closer to me, I felt her baby bump against my stomach and that brought me back down to reality. She is pregnant with somebody else's baby....but I kinda don't care about that. I just want to stay in this moment..... but she's not mine. This ain't my girl.
We kissed for a good 30 seconds before she pushed me away from her. I looked at her body language and looked into her eyes...I couldn't read her.
"I FUCKING HATE YOU." She yells at me.
My mouth dropped open. What the fuck? Huh?
"Babe—." I say, confused.
She then opens the door and leaves out.
What the fuck was that?
I watch as she gets in her car. I called after her but she didn't answer me. She sits there for a couple of seconds, then she gets back out of the car. She throws something, which hits the house and falls onto the ground. Then she drives off.
I look on the ground and I see the key to my house. I pick it up and I shake my head.
"Shit." I say
She's done.
I don't know what's going on with us this time around. I'm so confused with her actions and her words towards me. I know I say some disrespectful things and of course I don't mean them, but I don't think she's ever talked to me this way before, and on top of that she doesn't apologize for anything. She really doesn't care anymore. I feel like she doesn't care about me at all now. I don't think we can come back from this.
I walk back over to the sofa, sit down and I get my phone off of the coffee table. We need to talk because I see this going so bad and us not being able to fix it. I don't know what he's doing to her over there but this shit needs to stop TODAY.
I touch her contact and it goes straight to voicemail.
"The fuck?" I say
I wait a couple of seconds, then I call her again. It goes straight to voicemail again.
"Did She block me?"
I use one of my many different phone number apps, then I call her back and it rings. She blocked my number.
"Hello?" She answers
"You gave my key back?"
"Really?" She says, then end the call.
I could've left it at that but I called right back because I need to say something.
"What stalker?" She answers
"Don't say shit, just listen. We can't do this. I refuse to go down this road with you. I don't want you to hate me. Don't say that shit no more, I felt that. I don't know what's going on over there and what he's telling you but we don't have to be this way."
"We don't talk about you. He isn't telling me anything and you made it this way. Fuck you." She says
"Why are you so aggressive? I know you're mad at me but you've never talked to me this way before. I want to stop this before it goes too far. I'm begging you. I don't want this to get bad. I'm sorry for letting it slip out. What can I do to fix it?" I ask
"Nothing. You've already done enough."
"Please talk to me. What's going on? You haven't been the same since you had the baby. It's like you flipped a switch and all love and respect for me was gone." I explain
"Just like you did." She says
"I didn't do that."
"That's exactly what you did. I had the baby, and then you changed."
"I was struggling with things that happened in the past. I shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did. You were there with me, giving me chance after chance to make it right and I didn't. I'm sorry for that. I understand if you have resentment because of it."
"I have a lot of resentment towards you for many things, it's not just that. I have resentment and regret about the whole relationship. I'm sorry you're struggling with the break up, but now I'm not there anymore. I have moved on. No need to try to fix what you've broken. Live with that." She hangs up.
"Daaaammmmmnnn." I say to myself.
She's so far gone. I don't know what to do. Fuck this and fuck her.
Shawnie's POV
I walked into the kitchen and I saw Aubrey standing at the island on his phone. The phone was on speaker, and I couldn't catch the voice of the person he was talking to. He sees me and holds his arm out, inviting me into a hug.
I walk over to him and I put my arms around his neck, the same time as he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly.
"Get off the phone..." I whisper in his ear.
"Aye, Let me call you back..." He says then ends the call. He looks down at me, deep into my eyes. "What's up, Mami?" He says in a low, deep voice. Licking his lips.
"I missed you..." I kiss him on the lips and we make out for a few minutes. My hands venture down to his pants and I feel his bulge. "Someone's in the mood." I say laughing.
I feel one of his hands roam up my back and into my hair. He grabs a chunk of my hair, pulling my head back. "Everytime I see you, I'm in the mood."
"Right..." I step back, "I have to tell you what happened... I just left him."
"What did he say?" He pulls me back to him, bends down and kisses my neck.
"Absolutely nothing important. He's trying to fix years of damage and I'm just over it. Not giving him another chance just for him to be all good for a couple of months, then it's back to the same thing."
"We'll you're with me now, so you're not going back."
"Right. I know he's going to try to throw his money around, get the best lawyers to try to gain custody, and try to get the best of everything. But I'm just so sick of him and his games..."
"Uh huh.." He pulls my head back by my hair again. Exposing my neck, then he devours it.
"Aubrey?"
"Yes, we'll be ready for him if he does." He says between kisses, "You know what my bank account looks like." He turns me around and kisses the back of my neck gently, sending chills through my whole body. It catches me off guard.
"Okay, okay, okay. Wait!" I turn around to face him. "I didn't know you knew about that spot."
"Mami, I know everything." He smiles, "Now fuck me."
"Let me finish, then we can do that." I say
"Baby, my dick is hard as fuck." He whines.
I laugh, "Anyway.... He called from some crazy number trying to talk to me. I guess he figured out I blocked him."
He laughs, "Baby, you can't have him blocked. What if he needs to her in contact with you?"
"I know...I just wanted to feel like I did something and him know o blocked him. It won't be for long. I know we have to communicate. Plus, he can just use one of those apps again." I roll my eyes.
"Promise me you'll unblock him today."
"Fine, whatever. I will." Now I'm irritated.
He smiles and I just roll my eyes again.
"Anyway, he was trying to explain shit and apologize. I wasn't trying to hear it, so I hung up on him. I'm not scared of him anymore and I showed him that today. I see that I have control over him...."
"You're just now realizing that? I even knew that." He says, "You tell him to bark like a dog, he will."
"He didn't know what else to do, so he kissed me."
"WHAT?" He yells
"I don't know what that was about but I can't lie to you, I kissed him back but then I pushed him off of me. I don't like that it happened. I'm going to apologize to you because that was so inappropriate. I was wrong." I say
"Thank you for telling me. I love that you've never lied to me about anything that has gone on with you and him and that's why I trust you so much. That shit just makes me love you even more. It's all good. You just gave him a taste of what he can't have anymore." He says then kisses me. He pulls away after a couple of seconds and he looks at me. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, Papi." I smile.
"Damn, you know I love when you call me that."
"Remember you told me back in Chicago you'd marry me if I want it to?" I ask
"Yeah, baby." He says kissing my neck, taking off my shirt.
"Well, let's do it." I say
"Really?" He stops and looks at me with a serious face.
"Yes. The news is out that we're pregnant. We can confirm it after the interview...and you love me right?"
"Yeah." He says
"So I don't see why not."
He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks me over to the table and sits me down on it.
"Don't play with me. We can be married by the end of the day tomorrow." He says
"Make it happen." I say
He thinks this is a game and it's not. It's my life, so I'm happy we're leaving. I want to get as far away from him as possible.
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