Jokes On You, Batsy! Joker's...

By AshleyGryffindor

107K 2K 414

Gotham City at night was a cesspool of crime, drugs, murder and all-around bad guys. The Joker and Harley Qui... More

New and First A/n!
💄Crazy Runs In The Family!💄
🍰Meeting Your Stud Muffin!🍰
💋Mad Love All Over Again!💋
💎Business at Daddy's Club!💎
👑Don't Mess With My Cupcake!👑
🤬Fighting Against The Ex!🤬
💞My Lover Is An Insane Clown💞
💔Where Are Ya, Jest?!💔
💋The Clown Princess's Past💋
♦️Rivalry For Her Love♦️
😈Jester's Breaking Point😈
Whom Should in the Next Chapter?
🗡Gotham High AU🗡
🗡Gotham High AU Part 2🗡
💚Sometimes Crazy Is Needed❤
🦇Old Flames Still Burn Bright🦇
🦇Old Flames Still Burn Embers🦇
🌹Jester's BVFF Is Poisonous🌹
❤💚🖤Gotham City Incubi❤💚🖤
❤💚🖤Gotham City Incubi 2❤💚🖤
🔪Halloween Vote!!🔪
🍂Poisonous Loverboy🍂
😱The Halloween Queen!!😱
🌲What is this?!🌲
🍬Unhealthy Obsessions🍬
🍃Making X-Mas!🍃
♥️A Realization of the Queen♦️
💘The Halloween Queen's King💘
💐Halloween Queen's Wedding/Surpise💐
Scarecrow's Revenge Vote
🐱Dealing with a Cat?!🐱
Harley Quinn! ♦️♥️♠️♣️
💣Son of a B*tch!!💣
Harry ♦️'s Way
💣Jester's Bio💣
Jest & Harry
Voting
💅Birds of Prey with The Studs💅
🔪Corpse Bride!🔪
🐺The Gotham City's Incubi Action🐺
💎Whom I Once Was💎
💎Down the Rabbit Hole💎
♦️Six?♦️
🧊❄New Interest!❄🧊
🥀Ex-Boyfriends🥀
🪶No Way🪶
♦️♠️Don't Lose Your Head♠️♦️
🫀Heart of Stone🫀
🏠House of Wayne🏠
💎Get Down💎
🥀🌹All Wanna Do🌹🥀
👑King Fight👑
🧊❄I Don't Need Your Love❄🧊
🪶♦️🫀Six Boyfriends💎🌹🧊
Which Broadway Should I do Next?
Sweeney Todd Cast so far
Hamilton Cast so far
Dracula Cast So Far
The Countess Of Monte Cristo Cast
✂️The Opening of the Bloody Tale🪡
✂️No Place Like Gotham & Home again🪡
✂️Pies, Truth, & Anger🪡
✂️My Friends, Alms, Harriet & Reunion🪡
✂️Contest, Waitin', First Kill, & Handsome Men🪡
✂️Not while I'm Around & Finale🪡
Suicide Squad Game!
🇺🇸Y/n M/n Quinnzel🇺🇸
Republished on November 1st 2023

✂️Epiphany, Priest, Harriet🪡

225 5 0
By AshleyGryffindor

Jester's eyes twitched as did her head while Harrison looked over at his wife while her hands curled into fists on her dresses skirt, Damian walked up to the two slowly to talk to Jester.

Damian: "Ms. Jest, you have to help me." He said towards the woman with hope.

Jester: "Out...." She said softly as Damian walked towards her.

Damian: "Ms. Jest, please." He begged only him to back up to see the woman's e/c eyes were dark with rage and twitching.

Jester: "OUT!!" She shouted out at the young man making him run out of the room while Dick and Patrick walked into the room as Harrison slowly rubbed her shoulders to calm her down.

Dick: "All this shouting and running about. What's happened?" He questioned seriously only Jester to grab him by his vest angrily

Jester: "I had her....." She whispered softly under her breath.

Harrison: "That sailor busted in here." He started to explain to Dick and Patrick.

Patrick: "I saw the judge and the young sailor running downstairs, what's happened?" He asks only for Jester to scream out.

I had her! Her throat was bare beneath my hand....

Jester walked away as she picked up her hairdressing scissors and opened them up to look at the shine of the sharp blades til Dick spoke up.

There, there, there dear. Calm down...

Jester quickly snaps the scissors shut before turning around to walk up to Dick screaming at her while Harrison gently pulled her away to calm her down.

No, I had her!

Easy there, calm down love...

Her throat was there and now she'll never come again....

Easy now, hush love hush, I keep telling you

When?!

What's your rush?

Why did I wait?
You told me to wait!
Now she'll never come again!...

Jester walks away from her husband and friends to look outside while sighing softly then looked over at her vanity, looking at her dark and sleep deprived eye bags mumbling under her breath.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
But not for long....

Jester looked over at the men as she walked over to them before placing the sharp blades of her scissors against Dick's throat til she moved back a bit to hold onto her head believing she's final gone walking mad. Her voice sang out insanely towards the men while she watched the people walking down in street.

They all deserve to die
Tell you why, boys, tell you why
Because in all of the whole human race
Boys, there are two kinds of women and only two
There's the one staying put in her proper place
And the one with her foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Boys, look at you!

No, we all deserve to die!
Even you, Boys, even I
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die

And I'll never see Harriet
No I'll never hug my girl to my heart again.... Finished!

Alright! You ma'am, how about a trim?
Come and visit your good friend, Jester
You sir, too sir?
Welcome to the grave
I will have vengeance
I will have salvation

Who ma'am, you ma'am?
No one's in the chair
Come on, come on!
Jester's waiting
I want you bleeders

You ma'am! Anybody!
Ladies, now don't be shy!
Not one man, no, nor ten women
Nor a hundred can assuage me
I will have you!

And I will get her back even as she gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats
And my Harry lies in ashes of insanity
And I'll never see my baby girl again!

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

Harrison, Patrick and Dick walked downstairs into the pie shop with Jester as she closed up the shop while Dick spoke up.

Dick: "That's all very well, but what are we going to do about the good doctor?" He asked as he gave the woman a glass of gin.

Jester: "Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him out of the trunk and bury him"

Dick: "Well, yes, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose he's got any relatives gonna come poking around looking for him." He said honestly as he kneading dough while Harrison was looking at through the fruit and berry selection to toss the rotten ones aside in the rubbish bin. Til the blonde's head snap up with an idea and spoke it out loud.

Harrison: "But you know me, bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking... Seems a downright shame..."

Jester: Shame?

Dick: Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had... Has!

Harrison: Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift, If you get my drift!...

Jested: No?

Dick: Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

Jester: HA!

Dick: Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mr. Hatter and his pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

Jester: Oh Dick, what a charming notion!

Dick: Well, it does seem a waste...

Jester: Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always!

Harrison: It's an idea...

Jester: Oh Dick and Harry, how I've lived
Without you two all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

Dick & Harrison: Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave, as well women for a haircut and dressing
Won't they?
Think of all them, Pies!

Jester: How choice! How Rare! Listen, For what's the sound of the world out there?

Dick: What, Ms. Jest?

Harrison: What, My Jester? What is that sound?

Jester: Those crunching noises pervading the air!

Dick: Yes, Ms. Jest!

Harrison: Yes, My Jester!
Yes, all around!

Jest: It's man devouring man, my dears!

Dick, Harrison & Jester: And who are we to deny it in here?

Jester: These are desperate times, Dicky, and desperate measures are called for as well, Harry!

Dick: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

Jester: What is that?

Harrison: It's priest. Have a little priest.

Jester: Is it really good?

Dick: Ma'am, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, So it's pretty fresh.

Jester: Awful lot of fat.

Dick: Only where it sat.

Jester: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

Harrison: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

Jester: "Mmm, Heavenly! Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, But then again, not as bland as curate, either!"

Dick: And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more! Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

Harrison: Lawyer's rather nice.

Jester: If it's for a price.

Dick: Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!

Jester: Anything that's lean. How about some Dean?

Dick: Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!

Harrison: Anyway, it's clean. Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

Jester: Is that squire, on the fire?

Dick: Mercy no, ma'am, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!

Jester: Looks thicker, More like vicar!

Harrison: No, it has to be grocer -- It's green, love!

Jester: The history of the world, my dear pets! --

Dick: Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors!

Jester: Is those below serving those up above!

Harrison: Ev'rybody shaves or needs a trim, So there should be plenty of flavors!

Jester: How gratifying for once to know

Harrison & Jester: That those above will serve those down below!

Harrison: Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.

Jester: Something... pinker.

Dick: Tailor?

Jester: Paler.

Harrison: Butler?

Jester: Subtler.

Dick: Potter?

Jester: Hotter.

Harrison: Locksmith? Lovely bit of clerk.

Jester: Maybe for a lark.

Dick: Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!

Jester: That looks pretty rank.

Dick:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank
Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.

Harrison: Have you any Crane, Dick?

Dick: Next week, so I'm told!
Crane isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased...
Stick to priest!

Harrison: Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
But then of course it's... fiddle player!

Jester: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!

Harrison: 'Ow can you tell?

Jester: It's piping hot!

Harrison: Then blow on it first!

Harrison & Jester: "HAHAHAHA!!"

Jester: The history of the world, my love--

Dick: Oh, Ms. Jest & Mr. Diamonds, What does it tell?

Harrison: Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!

Dick: And, Ms. Jest,
Too, Ms. Jest, Who gets to sell!

Jester: But fortunately, it's also clear

Harrison & Jester: That ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

Dick: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about... rear admiral?

Jester: Too salty. I prefer general.

Harrison: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra, my love.

Jester: What is that?

Dick: It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!

Harrison: And We've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!

Jester: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run!

Dick: Try the friar, Fried, it's drier!

Jester: No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

Harrison: Then actor, That's compacter!

Jester: Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

Dick: "Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
But we've got something you might fancy even better."

Jester: What's that?

Harrison: Executioner!

Jester: Have charity towards the world, my pets!

Dick: Yes, yes, I know, my love!

Jester: We'll take the customers that we can get!

Harrison: High-born and low, my love!

Jester: We'll not discriminate great from small!

Harrison: No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,

Dick, Harrison & Jester: And to anyone at all!

Days Going By

I feel you, Harriet
I feel you
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at you window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair, Harriet

And are you beautiful and pale
With yellow hair of your father and smart...
Like me?
I'd want you beautiful and pale
The way I've dreamed you were
Harriet, Harriet....

And if you're beautiful, what then
With yellow hair of your father...
Like wheat?
I think we shall not meet again
My little dove
My sweet, Harriet....

I'll steal you, Harriet

Good-bye, Harriet
You're gone and yet you're mine...
I'm fine Harriet, I'm fine
Harriet....

Smoke
Smoke
Sign of the Devil
Sign of the Devil
C'iy on fire
Bastard
A bastard
Smell that Sir?
An evil smell
Ev'ry night at the Vesper's bell
Smoke that comes from the mouth of hell
C'iy on fire
C'iy on fire
Mischief
Mischief
Mischief

And if I never hear your voice
My turtledove
My dear
I still have reason to rejoice,
The way ahead is clear, Harriet

I feel you, Harriet

And in the darkness
When I'm blind with what I can't forget
It's always morning in my mind
My little lamb, My pet Harriet
You stay Harriet....

(Harriet)

The way I've dreamed you are
Oh look Harriet, A star

(Buried sweetly in your yellow hair)

A shooting star

There
There
Somebody
Somebody
Look up there
Didn't I tell you?
Smell that air
C'iy on fire
Quick Sir
Run and tell
More and more like a witch's spell
There it is
There it is
The unholy smell
Tell it to the Judge, and police as well
Tell 'em
Tell 'em
Help
Please (wrong)
Fiend (right)
C'iy on fire
C'it on fire
Mischief
Mischief

And though I'll think of you, I guess
Until the day I die
I think I miss you less and less
As everyday goes by, Harriet.
My little Harriet.....

And you'd be beautiful and pale
And look too much like me
If only angels could prevail
We'd be the way we were, Harriet
Your father and I, a loving family.....

I feel you, Harriet

Wake up, Harriet
Another bright red day
We learn Harriet
To say, Good-bye.......

I'll steal you, Harriet.......

((Today is an extra day off for me, so I'm gonna rest my mind of horror for now. See you again next week, laughters))

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