I didn't want to lie to Willow.
But I couldn't tell her that Amanda was complaining because I told her I didn't know if I could come over tonight.
I didn't know.
As shitty as that sounded, what if I did go over her house tonight?
What if her hands replaced Willows on my skin?
I felt sick.
"Oh" She looked down at the table.
It was clear the topic of this girl made her uncomfortable.
I set my pan down on the stove, walking around the island to Will.
"I'm not going over" I lifted her chin with my finger, kissing her lips.
A smile spread across her face and I felt excitement yet guilt all in once.
That wasn't true.
I didn't know if I was gonna go over.
I still didn't understand what I was feeling and if one girl could push these unfamiliar feelings away, then maybe.
Just maybe I could go back to normal.
The normal Shawn.
"Somethins burning" She laughed through the kiss.
I instantly pulled away, eyes wide as I ran to the stove.
"My pancake" I whined, putting out a puppy dog lip.
Willow laughed, causing something inside to jump with excitement.
I loved her laugh.
"It's okay, we can always make more"
She suggested.
I groaned, throwing the Burt sadness into the trash and adding more batter to the pan.
....
After breakfast, Willow took a nap and Ian came over.
While she slept in my bed I got numerous texts from Amanda.
"Why don't you just go? Fuck her and get it over with. I don't know what your so worried about"
Ian spoke, pushing his thumbs back and fourth on the paddle as he played COD.
"I'm not worried about anything"
Which was true, I wasn't 'worried'.
I just didn't want to make a stupid decision.
But it's not like I've cared the other times right?
"Then go" He played on, I threw my head back on the couch.
Just one night.
Me and Willow weren't dating.
It didn't mean anything,... Right?
New Text Message from- Amanda
'Just come over, I'm alone plus no panties 😏😏'
I didn't reply.
'Shawn. Baby boy I want you. I need you'
I still didn't reply.
'You know you'll have an amazing night with me, stop being so stubborn 🙈'
"Bro, go. If your that worried I'll make sure sleeping beauty doesn't know where you are"
He paused the game.
Looking at me.
I set my own thumbs on the keyboard.
'Ill come'
Sent- 3:04 PM