".. That's all"
He set his guitar back down, wiping his face free of the little sweat his forehead created.
I was speechless.
"Your amazing Shawn"
I scooted closer to him, plopping myself on his lap and kissing around his lips but not touching them on purpose.
What were we doing?
What did this mean for us?
"Stop that" He laughed, catching me in the action and kissing me, holding my cheeks with one hand in the process.
I looked into his brown eyes.
Never wanting this moment to end.
I couldn't explain it other than I was simply so happy with this boy.
As angry as he made me.
I found happiness, or at least I thought what I was feeling, was called happiness.
"Do you still wanna take a nap"? He asked, looking concerned.
I shook my head.
"I'm kinda hungry now"
"Let's go eat then" He kissed my cheek before jumping off the bed and out the door.
I chuckled cheekily and followed.
Trying to ignore the gut feeling that whatever we were doing wasn't going to last long, no matter how much I wanted it too.
....
"What do you want to eat"? He asked as I sat myself up on the island stood
Resting my head in my hands and watching him search the fridge, which still contained mostly alcohol.
"Surprise me"
"You asked" He smirked, digging out pans and all sorts of things from the cupboard.
I wondered how many of Shawn's meals he had to make all on his own,
and what Ian meant early in his moms bedroom about how the house was lonely.
Where did his parents and sister go?
"Shawn"?
"Hmm"? He didn't make eye contact.
To focused on his mission to cook.
Was this a good time to ask?
I didn't want him to blow up,
I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us with a stupid question.
"Um.. Are you gonna be at school tomorrow"?
He shrugged.
I sighed.
"You should come, we have to get working on that project anyway"
I traced the shapes on the granite counter with my finger tip.
"Yeah, I know."
"So you'll go then"?
He turned around, pouring what looked like pancake mix in a pan.
"Yeah Will, I'll come"
Just then his phone buzzed from a few inches in front of me.
It was none of my business who he was talking to but the name that appeared made my stomach turn.
Amanda- 'What do you mean you don't know if your coming? Shawney I miss you'
My blood ran cold.
He told her he didn't know if he was coming?
What didn't he know?
If he wanted to go over and fuck her or stay here with me?
"Who is it"?
He asked, now pouring two glasses of orange juice.
I wanted to be angry, but I felt so drained of anger or pain.
I didn't want to yell at him or ask him questions.
I didn't want to ruin this.
"It was.. Amanda"
"Oh"
He turned around, grabbing the phone.
I wasn't going to tell him I read it.
I wanted Shawn to make his own choice.
"What did It say"?
I chewed on the skin to my bottom lip, waiting for his mouth to open and respond to my question.
"Just that she couldn't hangout tonight anyways, even though I wasn't gonna go"
He lied.