N POV
2 months later...
Today I decided to do something I hadn't done in a long time. Have people over. I figured since I was on this happy high why not keep it going. In my tiny living room it was storytelling and booze chugging galore. I was in the kitchen looking for my pack of cards for our poker game, while Sakura grabbed more snacks for everyone.
" Need any help" I said to her while sticking the cards in my pocket.
" No I'm fine" she replied.
She lifted up the food tray like it was nothing and left the kitchen just like that. She didn't look at me once.
Okay so when I said I was on this happy high I may have exaggerated a tad bit.
I mean don't get me wrong things were pretty good on my end, but these past few days it seemed that Sakura was getting annoyed with me a lot more easily.
We'd get into these little scuffles about dumb things like what movies we should watch or the food we should eat.
It's like we were never on the same page and I noticed she was spending a lot more time with her friends and at that damn job.
Especially her little side job delivering that paper work to that Sasuke Uchiha guy.
Just thinking about his name made my blood boil.
She had no idea what she was doing to me visiting that guy of all people. Dropping off paper work was fine but what the hell was going on in there that took two a whole hours?
That guy..he wasn't someone she should be around.
I was worried something wasn't right.
When I'd ask her she'd say she just talk to him.
It's seemed like she was talking to him more then she was me nowadays. I just couldn't understand what was wrong, we were doing so well.
We'd been dating for two months now and I was doing everything in my power to be the best boyfriend I could.
It was exhausting in a way, putting all my effort in and getting little to nothing in return. I wanted this to work so bad but I just didn't know what to do.
I wanted her to be as happy as I was to be with her, but there was some barriers I couldn't break with her.
What did I have to do to have all of her? and how come it felt like I was the last person she'd come to for anything.
It was lonely.
Still, I shook my head and returned to the living room. There was no time for those thoughts, I was suppose to be having fun.
" Alright I got the cards who's ready to get there ass handed to them?"
Shikamaru smirked at me and shook his head. " That'd be you buddy this is my game get your wallet ready."
I laughed and looked for a seat next to Sakura, but only to find her friend Ino in my place. I awkwardly sat next to Ino's boyfriend Sai instead and began dealing out cards.
Great now she didn't even want to sit next to me.
We played poker for like an hour, Shikamaru as promised completely slaughtered me and I ended up owing him hundred bucks. During our game Gara had a bit to much too drink and turned my bathroom into a cyst pit and my pal Kankuro past out on my couch. So it was safe to say the night was coming to an end.
Sakura stayed behind to help clean up. There was only sounds of dishes clanking together and the rustling of the garbage that filled the silence.
" I had fun I'm glad you convinced me to do this" I bravely said.
" Yeah," she said and continued to face the sink.
Well she could at least look at me.
I put the trash bag down and approached the sink to wash my hands.
She quickly moved out of the way and my annoyance spiked. After washing my hands I turned off the faucet and looked at her,
" Hey are you okay you've been acting kind of weird lately" I said. " And please don't give me that it's nothing line because it's clearly something."
She sighed and rubbed her temple. " I've just been so busy so I'm tired. Other then that I'm fine."
Liar.
She then went to clean the table. I followed behind her.
" If that's the case why don't you take some time off. You'll wear yourself out like that" I suggested.
She waved a hand at me and continued to clean. " I'm alright."
Silence again. I knew there had to be more. It was like we were slowly reverting back to how we were. Her coming up with excuses and never being completely honest with me.
What changed?
" Okay I get your tired but, I can't help but feel like I'm included in that tiredness."
" What do you mean?" she groaned.
I scratched my head, " I don't know we've been getting into fights about really dumb things so.."
She slapped her hand against the table and finally faced me.
" Why do you always do this" she said with a huff. " You're always so insecure."
" Insecure or do I see right through you " I replied.
" Your forgetting we've been down this road before. You give a thousand excuses and evade questions when your hiding things Sakura. What's on your mind?"
She sucked her teeth " You don't know what your talking about."
" Really because six years of knowing you says other wise."
" Naruto just," she let out a growl. " Stop for a sec will you. You're always pressuring me
to tell you everything. So what if I'm hiding something? Do I have to tell you all of my thoughts!?"
" I'm not pressuring you to do anything. I'm just worried about you. I want to help but how can I when you won't talk to me?" I replied.
" Maybe I don't want your help! Has that ever crossed your thick skull! You're always keeping stuff to yourself you are the one who should understand this the most!" She yelled.
I winced at the pain that hit my chest momentarily. I could see in her eyes she regretted her words.
" I-I'm sorry i didn't mean that" she said.
She looked to the ground and rubbed her neck.
" It's just...Never mind."
That was another thing that was happening lately. These outburst. It was like there was hidden resentment some where in her. I didn't understand anything. It was at times like this that I felt like I wasn't her boyfriend at all, like us being in a relationship was just a title and I was still fighting to earn affection.
I couldn't hide the sadness on my face.
Why did it seem like things kept falling apart for me?
She took my face in her hands and I flinched at her touch.
This made her frown.
" I think I should head home" she said with a heavy sigh.
Great now she was leaving? Was I missing something here?
" Don't you want to stay over and maybe talk this out a bit? " I said. " We could watch a movie or something."
She looked at me sadly and shook her head no.
" I've got a big day tomorrow, plus we never can agree on a movie to watch anyway" she said.
She kissed my lips lightly,
" We can talk about this tomorrow. I just need to be alone for now."
She gathered her things and with one last look over her shoulder left me standing in my living room.
That was our second fight this week.
The silence was creeping in again. There was no way in hell I was staying here. I too grabbed my stuff and left. I was so angry at myself and this situation.
This was not what I pictured our relationship being. All my dreams of finally being with Sakura were warping.
I needed to escape reality for a bit and I knew the perfect way to do that.
H POV
I was pacing back and forth in Kiba's apartment. It was after 10 his shift at that damned animal shelter should have been over by now, but no Kiba in sight.
" Maybe you should sit down you've been doing that for like half an hour now" Shino said to me.
I groaned and flopped down onto the couch next to him. I watched him as he graded papers for his students.
" Is he usually this late?"
" For the 30th time yes Hinata. Sometimes even later" Shino replied.
I let out a hard breath and frowned.
Ever since I found about Tamaki and him, I couldn't help but feel anxious every time he went to work. I know he said he didn't want her, but who wouldn't? She seemed kind, slim and had one of those faces you see on magazine covers. Plus they've been on the same team for years.
The temptation was too great.
I checked the clock again and sighed.
" He's probably with her" I mumbled.
I never saw myself as the jealous type, but Kiba for some reason brought that out of me. I was so scared, afraid that he discover she was better than me in every way and choose her again.
" Ah so that's what this is about..he told you?" Shino said.
" That's right, it's almost been 2 months and yet that's all I can think about" I replied.
Shino closed his laptop and faced me. " Listen you can't let it get to you. Kiba has slept with and dated tons of women and if you let every one of them get under your skin you're going to drive yourself nuts."
My eyes nearly popped out of their socket " He has!?"
Shino gave me a stern "Get it together face" and I slumped in my seat.
" You're right but I can't help it, shelters don't usually run this late do they?" I said.
" Well if your so worried why not call him" Shino said.
I nearly slapped myself in the face.
Why didn't I think of that?
I pulled out my phone as fast as I could and dialed his number. My hands trembled listening to the dial tone.
Of course voice mail.
I jump off the couch in frustration.
" That's it I'm going there" I said.
" Really? Your going to become one of those girl friends?" Shino said.
He was right I couldn't do that. Maybe this was all too much. I'm at his apartment so many times a week and i'm always calling him to do something. At this rate my insecurity was going to ruin our relationship.
I grabbed my coat. " This is silly, you're right. I should just go home. It's not like I need to see him everyday. Goodnight Shino."
Shino waved and out the door I went. I stood on the other side and just breathed.
Why couldn't I allow myself to just trust Kiba? He had hurt me in the past sure, but he hadn't really lied to me too often.
Yet when he said she meant nothing, I couldn't believe him.
It was already driving me nuts. I wanted to be completely happy in this relationship, but this was weighing me down.
Or was it something more?
I decided to put off going home just for a bit.
Suddenly I found myself outside the Nindo.
It felt like centuries since I'd been here, there was so many emotions associated with this place.
Maybe my discomfort with Kiba subconsciously led me here.
I stepped inside and just took in the scenery. It was like walking into a time machine everything was laced with nostalgia.
Naruto popped into my head.
I stared at the stools where we sat our first night of meeting. I smiled as I recalled the messy state I was in and Naruto's comforting words.
Our relationship started off so simple and genuine. It truly was a shame things had gotten so complicated. I still thought about him a lot. I wondered what he was doing now?
I took a seat at the bar and noticed that pretty lady who took care of me last time was still here.
We made eye contact and she smiled.
" Well there's a face I haven't seen in a while" she said.
" Ah you remember me" I said with a smile.
" It's hard to forget those eyes. Their breath taking" she said.
I thanked her and ordered a drink. The same as the first time.
As I downed the drink, I heard a few girls talking in slurs.
" Why are you being such a jerk" one said.
" Yeah what's wrong with you, can't you just give her your number? What is she not pretty enough for you?" said another.
I looked over to where the commotion was coming from and was shocked.
This had to be a sick joke or something.
There was Naruto trying desperately to keep his cool while these two drunk chicks harassed him. They towered over him while he sat in his seat getting more irritated by the second. He seemed to have had some drinks himself.
So what if some drunk girls are harassing him?
That's the least he deserves after what he did to me. I wasn't going to move from this spot. In fact I was gonna sit here and watch karma unfold.
He could handle this himself.
One of the girls angrily poked a finger in his face. While the other one began to take out there phone to record. But Naruto didn't do anything he just told them to leave him alone as politely as he could.
When one of the girls grabbed a chunk of his hair, I was suddenly out of my seat and practically running towards him.
I don't know what came over me.
" Sorry I'm late!" I said loud enough for the girls to turn and look at me.
I walked over to Naruto and hugged him tightly. I felt him stiffen in shock.
" Play Along" I whispered in his ear.
Understanding he relaxed and hugged me back.
I pulled away and gazed into his eyes. We were incredibly close.
" Miss me?" I said resting my hand on his chest.
He pulled me so I was almost sitting in his lap. " Desperately, You kept me waiting too long."
He squeezed my waist and I gasped.
Really because I was shocked, but it did add a little extra something to the act.
I sent the girls the most menacing stare I could muster, " He's with me. Back off."
The girls jaws hung as they looked at us. Getting the message they walked away mumbling curses under their breath.
When the coast was clear i quickly moved away from him. I hoped the lighting would hide the blush forming on my face.
I cleared my throat.
" Tough night stranger?" I said.
He smiled at me, I guess understanding my reference.
" You have no idea " he responded.
SAK POV
As soon as I entered my apartment, I sunk down to my wooden floors.
Why was I feeling so bad?
Naruto and I had been together for about 2 months now and I thought everything would be great. Yet as time went on I felt like there was something missing in our relationship. Suddenly all his little quirks that i ignored seemed to hop on my nerves and ride them into oblivion. His affection that i often craved before our relationship, was becoming uncomfortable for me.
I didn't understand. I could pull every hair out of my head it was so frustrating. I knew I had some form of feelings for him, he meant the world to me, yet there was something that was causing me to push away from him.
There was something always there that just didn't spark.
Why could I still not accept him as my boyfriend when he was doing everything a boyfriend should.
I gripped my head with both hands. I was doing exactly what I was afraid of.
I'm hurting him.
I'd seen some of his past, I'd seen people hurt him time and time again.
Was I just going to become one of those people who made him drink to forget?
Why was I so complicated?
Why could I never be satisfied?
Why couldn't this be easier?
I adored him, but there was this sinking feeling within me when ever I even thought of us.
I had to make things right. I would call him and tell him how much I loved him. Maybe I felt this way because I didn't say it enough. I mean of course I loved him, how could I spend this amount of time with him and not?
I took my cell phone out of my purse, but before I could do anything it started ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize.
" Hello" i said.
" That voice, so this is the right number I'm glad."
I squinted my eyes searching my head to put a name to this familiar voice.
" Why are you so quiet. Aren't you going to tell me off for getting your number with out your permission?"
The dots finally connected.
" Sasuke-kun?"
" Yes that would be me" he replied.
He was right. Usually I would be angry, after all he did have a habit of invading my privacy, but this time I wasn't. In fact I was actually kind of happy to hear his voice.
We'd been spending a lot of time together lately. Those document deliveries, quickly turn into me sitting with him having deep conversations about life and dreams. Rather than an being his mail lady, I felt we established this deep connection, an almost friendship, something I once thought could never exist between us.
It was embarrassing to admit it, but I'd find myself making excuses at my job to deliver paper work to him much earlier than needed just to see him. I genuinely cherished those times in his office.
It was like an escape from life's craziness.
It was amazing how things changed between us.
" Why are you calling me so suddenly it's late you know" I said standing up from the ground.
" Late for you, but still very early in the night for me. I am a busy man I don't rest until all my work is done."
" So is there something work related that you have to discuss with me" I said heading to my bed room.
" I guess you could say that, since speaking to you sometimes can be a task itself."
This made me chuckle a bit. His humor was getting a tiny bit better.
It was funny, every time we met I never really gave him the hard core lessons on being more approachable like he requested, but just by us talking, I was able to see him change a little each time.
I put my phone on speaker and began getting ready for bed.
" Ah so you wanted to just chat with me. I guess I should consider my self honored. The great Sasuke Uchiha wants my company " I replied.
" You're annoying me. You know I don't like this title attached to my name I'm human last time I checked."
I smiled again. He was too easy. " I know I just like to tease you."
I heard him clear his throat on the other end. I couldn't see him but I knew he was probably super embarrassed falling for my little trick.
I laughed as I slipped on my Pj's.
" I'm glad you find my torment humorous."
" It's just nice to not be on the receiving end of the jokes for once" I replied.
His silence told me he was confused. Of course he would be after all he's not the one teasing me usually. I didn't feel like explaining Naruto's teasing to him.
Or Naruto at all to him.
Was that strange?
" Can I ask you a question Sasuke-kun?"
" You may."
I let out a sigh in response to what I was going to ask. I didn't understand why I felt so comfortable enough to even open up to him. Most people would do the opposite, due to the intimidation he exudes. Yet, he had became a sort a confidant for me.
A role that should rightfully belong to my boyfriend.
Guilt stung at my heart, but I just didn't feel as free to speak to Naruto than I did him. Compared to what Naruto had gone through my troubles seemed so trivial. I didn't feel as though I had a right to complain.
I felt so weak.
It was just different with Sasuke.
" Have you ever been with someone who you care a lot about and once you decide to take the next step in your relationship everything changes?" I asked.
I flopped backwards onto my bed and stared at my ceiling.
" I mean sure you still care for the person, but now all there flaws and your own start coming out and you start to question if making that next step was such a good idea?"
" Are you talking about a romantic relationship?"
I hesitated.
" Yes it could be that...but it could apply to other relationships too!" I said quickly.
" You're asking me this, knowing I have trouble just getting people to speak to me normally " he retorted.
He was right what was I thinking? He was struggling just to get his staff to like him, not to mention a whole relationship.
" That's right.. sorry jus-"
" But thinking about it maybe it's just you and this person weren't a good fit and it just took you taking the next step to realize it."
Say what now?
" This sort of thing happens in business all the time. Countless people get involved in companies, because it looks good or they enjoy some of their products, without doing the research. Then they come to realize that, they weren't a good fit after all" Sasuke continued.
" Maybe that's what's happening here, you liked the idea of this relationship, but the reality of it isn't quite what you pictured or even wanted."
I sat up in my bed as a cold chill ran up my spine.
Was that awkwardness and reluctance, I felt being with Naruto because of this?
No it had to be something else. We'd know each other for so long, I knew exactly what I was getting into. So why?
I bit down hard on my nail in thought. It just didn't make sense.
Whatever. We could still work through this. That's what we said didn't we? We'd work on our issues together.
" It's strange giving the advice since I'm so used to receiving it from you" Sasuke said breaking my thought process.
" I'm not good at this sort of thing, but I hope I eased your mine and gave you clarity on what ever it is your going through" He said.
" You're not going to ask me about it?" I questioned.
" You seem like the type to open up when the times right for you. I don't want to pressure you. You will contact me if you need me."
It was refreshing how well he was coming to understand me. We hadn't known each other long but, there was something solid growing between us. It felt safe, like I didn't have to be someone else.
We accepted each other.
If only Naruto- NO stop comparing them right now!
" C-Can I ask you another question then?"
" You may" Sasuke responded.
" Have you ever been weak? Have you ever been so powerless and pathetic you've sought to change yourself into something better?"
I gripped my phone tighter as my childhood once again claimed my mind.
" So strong that no one could hurt you again. So powerful that everyone would look up to you and no one would ever hate you."
" Do you fear being hated?" I asked.
The silence on the other end of the phone was like pins and needles.
" Yes."
A wave of relief washed over me.
" I think everyone fears that to some extent " he said.
" I'm not sure what your going through but my advice for you is to stop running away from your pain. Tackle it head on, but not in a way that is destructive to yourself. Be braver, be stronger."
Sasuke sounded as if he was speaking from experience. Though we never spoke of each other's past, I felt there was an understanding between us, almost as if our experiences held the same meaning.
" Now that I've heard your voice my work is done. I can rest now."
My pulse quicken. He really had no idea what words could do to people. My voice became dry and shaky.
" Y-you couldn't sleep until you spoke to me?" I asked.
" I have a question for YOU now Sakura."
I was suddenly nervous.
" Have you ever had someone on your mind constantly?"
Great now I could barely hold the phone. I swallowed hard. I couldn't say yes.
What would he say if I told him that HE was constantly on my mind.
" No I haven't" i some how managed to say in response.
" Neither have I, what a strange circumstance this is. It's all new." he said.
Wait what did he mean!?
" Anyway I will let you sleep goodnight" he said cutting into my thoughts.
He was just gonna hang up just like that?
" Sasuke-kun!" I said abruptly. I wasn't sure what came over me.
" Yes?"
" I...Uh never mind. Goodnight" I stuttered.
" Good night."
I curled up into a ball after hearing him hang up. Though Sasuke's words comforted me, I found my self spiraling even further.
I had no idea what I should do.
I was so lost.
N POV
It was getting chilly outside. I could see her breath escape her lips as she inhaled and exhaled. Still, we both agreed being in that bar was a bad idea. So we took a walk to clear our heads.
It was a bit awkward if I was being honest. We had no idea what to say to each other. It was like that closeness between us had never existed. It was amazing how just a couple months could change people.
" Thanks for saving me back there. Those girls were relentless."
I could see her "I still hate your guts" pout shift a little.
" Consider it pay back. The first time we met you stood up for me."
" Ah! That's right I did didn't i, those jerks were making fun of you because you can handle a strong drink" I said in reply.
" Yeah..." she said.
And again there was silence.
The smart thing to do would have been to give my thanks and be on my marry way, but something kept me there.
Maybe I felt I owed it to her, we ended our friendship on a not so pleasant note thanks to me and part of me felt despite the risk, I should at least attempt to at least get us to an okay point.
I wasn't hoping for us to be close friends again, god knows she probably would never want that after what I pulled. I just wanted us to be comfortable around each other at least.
Before I could open my mouth and force some sort of conversation, she surprised me.
" I hate this."
" You hate what ?" I responded.
She looked at me, her face was strained like she felt physical pain.
" I still have my resentment towards you but, this awkwardness between us. I hate it."
At least she was honest. It was killing me too, I liked the fact that she didn't beat around the bush about it. It was better to just get it out in the air.
I let a breath out through my nose. " That makes two of us. It's just been a while you know, since we've talked."
" Of course the last time we spoke it didn't exactly go smoothly" She added.
Boy was it a train reck. Guilt gnawed away at my gut just thinking about it.
" Eh I thought it ended kind of nicely though" I said absentmindedly.
She looked at me like I grew a third head. " Yeah if you forget the yelling and crying and play some happy music in the background " Hinata said.
We looked at each other for a bit before chuckling a little.
It was still so tense but it was a good step in the right direction.
Too bad her smile faded as fast as it appeared. There was still some unhealed wounds, she didn't have to say anything for me to know that.
She was silent as we stopped at the cross walk, waiting for cars to pass by.
" How are you? Seeing you at this bar isn't a good sign if my memories correct" she then asked not looking at me.
" The same could be said about you" I said in response.
She snorted, " You still do that thing, where you try to get the attention off yourself. Mr I don't talk about my feelings."
I chuckled. " And you still do that thing where you catch me and don't let it go."
The light changed and we crossed the street, but that didn't distract her.
" So what your saying is you don't want to talk about it?" She asked.
" I'm saying I'm fine. What I can't treat myself to a drink every once in a while?" I said.
By her cute little cheeky smile, I knew she didn't believe one word I was saying.
I was a hypocrite, this annoyance was what Sakura probably felt when I was asking her questions.
Yet, I understood Hinata was just worried about me. In fact I wished Sakura asked me more about what I was feeling even though I knew I was a tough code to crack. It showed she cared at least because right now I didn't know what she was feeling for me.
" Fine I get it. Falling back into old habits. Whatever it is you should probably talk it out with someone. Maybe your girlfriend? I'm sure she doesn't like seeing you like this either" Hinata said.
If she only knew.
I was silent, trying my best not to appear how I was feeling, which was like total shit. I felt her questioning eyes linger on me, but she didn't dare ask anymore questions. Instead she tugged on my jacket sleeve.
" Wow look over there!"
I followed her pointed finger to a building across the street. Bright lights and loud noises erupted from it as a large crowd formed.
" That must be that new arcade everyone's been talking about" she said.
Hinata and I stood stunned watching the bright rainbow from the lights inside and a crowd of people rushing in.
She pulled me in the direction of the arcade " You like games right?"
I gave her a funny look. " Well yeah, but hey don't force yourself to go In there for my sake. I told you I'm fine."
She let go of me and crossed her arms. " Who said I wanted to go in there for you" she said with a smirk.
I found myself mirroring her expression, " You like this kind of stuff? yeah right?"
She was just pitying me. I must have looked so ridiculous half drunk and practically being attacked by girls several inches shorter than me.
Now she felt like she had to help my sad ass. I was kinda embarrassed.
" I told you I'm-"
She surprised me, suddenly snatching hold of my hand and pulling me across the street in the direction of the arcade.
" Oh hush, you should know by now not to underestimate me. I guess I'll just have to beat you in something else so you really get it."
Her assertiveness threw me off, then I remembered just how confident and bold she became when it came to the things she was passionate about.
" Or are you scared?" She asked, smiling at me like I was some chump.
That's all it took for a competitive fire to light under me and soon I took the lead and pulled her towards the arcade instead. " Scared? Bring it on girly."
I looked back at her. Her smile though soft and small, was brighter then any of the lights in the arcade.
It had to be contagious or something, because I smiled right back at her.
I've miss this I thought as I squeezed her hand tighter.
We were in there for hours, neck and neck in just about every game. My wrists were sore and my eyes stung from the exhaustion and strain. I didn't even remember I hadn't eaten dinner until the arcade began to close and we past by a food stand on our way out.
Looking at my watch i nearly had a heart attack, it was 2 am.
My body was really fucking hating me right then physically, yet I felt so happy.
It was confusing. I wouldn't dare say it out loud, but this was the most fun I'd had in a long time.
" Hey loser!"
I turned around to see Hinata walking with Ikayaki on sticks in both hands and a bag of what look like taiyaki. She was all giddy because she beat me in most of the games.
" I thought you were going to the bathroom?"
She shrugged her shoulders " I lied," she then pointed the sticks at me " Here these are for you."
I stared at the sticks then back at her in astonishment. I couldn't help but smile at how she
Looked away and pouted as if she didn't give a crap if I ate them or not.
She was always so cute.
It took me back to that day we went exploring around town and how desperate she was to learn about me and how her eyes lit up when she figured something out.
She was a bit tougher now but, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, she still has this kindness to her that made my stomach flutter a bit.
I took the food from her sheepishly. " You didn't have to do that."
" Yeah I did. Your stomach was growling so much i thought it was going to leap out of you. Take better care of yourself" she said.
She then leaned over and took a bite out of one of the ikayaki.
" Hey!" i protested.
" Winners privilege" she said with a smile.
I playfully shoved her with my shoulder as we began walking back to the bar.
I secretly stole glances at Hinata, as she nibbled on her little fish shaped snack.
The quote you don't know a good thing until it's gone couldn't be more true right at this moment.
I missed her and it wasn't fair. I didn't have the right to. I was the one who ended it all. I made a choice, at the time it was easier to break everything off.
She was right I didn't even try to work things out.
Did I even have the right to apologize to her? It'd just come across fake. We have a good time together and NOW I was apologizing? After two months?
Yeah dumb ass probably better if you'd keep your mouth shut.
" What are you thinking about? You went back to sulking. I thought we got that out of your system?" she said walking backwards in front of me.
" It's-"
" Don't say it's nothing" she said cutting me off. She pointed her finger in my face and did this failed attempt at a threatening face.
It made me smile, then laugh.
" I was just thinking this was fun. We use to have a lot of fun together didn't we?"
Her face fell. As expected.
I flicked her forehead in response " See that. This is exactly why I never share my thoughts."
She shook her head, " No! I'm just surprised that's all," she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear, " I just never thought you'd feel that way. I thought that's probably why things were so...easy for you to give up."
I swallowed hard. I was gonna do it. I was going to be dumb.
" Actually Hinata I've been doing some thinking and about what happened... I was such a jerk and I-"
She put her hand up stopping me from speaking. Her eyes were shut tight like just the thought of what I was going to do hurt her.
" Please don't. I understand your trying to do the right thing here, but I'm not sure if I can forgive you just yet" she said.
There was a sting in my chest. What was I expecting anyway? I'd say sorry and boom everything would be okay again?
Just like I said before what a dumb ass.
She looked away and clenched her hand against her chest. " Our trust has been broken and for me that's something that's hard to earn."
Her lavender eyes finally met mine and a faint smile passed over her face. " But, like I said I'd feel a lot better knowing that this all was for a good cause and we both are happy."
I stiffened a bit. " Well I am so you have nothing to worry about there."
These words tasted like vomit. I couldn't understand why I struggled to say that. I mean sure Sakura and I fought, but all couples did. So why did I feel like a liar?
Her smile grew. " That's wonderful, s-so am I! So at least something good came out of this."
Her voice cracked and I wondered if she was being completely honest.
I was so deep in thought that I hadn't realized we were in the parking lot of the bar already.
" I hope I was able to cheer you up" she said.
So I was right. This was what this was all about. Despite our broken friendship, she still went out of her way to try and help me. How could she? I was so used to people ignoring me and cursing me out after we fought. She of all people had the right to but she didn't.
" So you brought me to the arcade on purpose?" I asked
Hinata simply nodded her head.
I was completely stunned.
" Y-you still wanted to cheer me up after all I did?" I asked.
She chuckled, " I still care about you I guess. I resent you, but I could never hate you."
She then began walking away.
I was scared to let her go. I felt like we wouldn't see each other again for a while. I wish we could fix things, but maybe I was asking for too much.
It was painful, but I was better off just holding onto this memory and using it as a lesson next time I try to do anything stupid like this ever again.
I lifted my arm to wave goodbye, it felt like I was lifting bricks, but i had to let her go.
" You're an angel Hinata thank you for everything!" I yelled to her.
She blessed me with seeing her beautiful smile once more, before she turned to head to her car. I stood and watched her long dark blue black traces dance in the wind under the moons magical light.
Inside, I felt my heart beating wildly. I didn't understand, but I couldn't help but feel like something bad was gonna happen.