Klaus's POV
The sky is darkening as we light candles in the room. Their light casts shadows along the wall in a haunting flicker. Back and forth the shadows sway as if they too understand what is to come. Elijah stands behind me, his hand pressed against my shoulder. I allow him to touch me so for now as I watch over Lily, knowing it gives him comfort too. Lily sleeps soundly before me, and although I wish she was awake, I'm pleased to know that she doesn't feel any pain in her sleep. No, in her sleep she's at peace, and that's all I could hope for.
The graying veins have spread from her ankles to her knees. Each time I check, it's as though a piece of me shatters even more. As Cami and Hayley gather on the other side of the bed, I watch the sorrow enter their eyes. Marcel stands at the foot of the bed with tears in his eyes. Rebekah is gone. Not because she didn't wish to be here, but because I told her she could leave. She's never been good at handling grief such as this. I excused the others too, but they wished to stay. Thus, this leaves my brother, Hayley, Cami, Marcel, and I to all watch the woman I love die together.
With a heavy heart, I glance back at Elijah. "Stefan and Damon?" I ask, knowing that Lily would want them here.
Elijah nods. "Stefan said they ran into car trouble, but they should arrive within the hour." I frown at this. They'll be too late. I can feel it. They won't be here in time.
Brushing my thumb over the back of Lily's hand, I sigh. For there is no way to describe how I'm feeling. It's all too much, so I shut it down. Instead, I force myself to become stone. Lily needs me to be strong right now.
I lean down to press a kiss to her forehead before leaning my head against the bed. A silence drapes the room in a chilling manner, but what else is there to say?
She's going to die...and there's nothing I can do to stop it. The mere thought leaves me feeling guilty. I swore to protect her, and I've failed. I failed her, just as I did before. I never deserved her, not her love. She is a precious gem, and I ruined her. I was too selfish. I couldn't let her go, even though I know I should have. For I always hurt everyone around me. I hurt her.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I clasp onto her hand tighter.
I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry.
...
The sight is hard to watch. With a grin, Lily twirls in another man's arms. Her laugh rings out as he mumbles something to her, and he grins at her. Around the dance floor, they spin, and she looks so happy. I know I should allow her to be. I will. It's only...I wish she looked that way with me. This always happens when we attend balls. Men see her and fight over the opportunity to dance with her. She's much too kind to deny them, which leaves me standing on the sidelines watching with a bitter taste in my mouth. Elijah likes to tease me about my jealousy. I merely brush him off.
"Really, brother? You intend to spend another evening glaring at every man that dares a glance in Lily's direction." Elijah sends me a disapproving look. I turn my so-called glare onto him. "If the sight of her dancing with another man displeases you so much, might I suggest you ask her to dance yourself?"
Shaking my head, I return my gaze to Lily. "You don't understand, Elijah."
"No, I don't." He places a hand on my shoulder. "Why are you so afraid to show her how you feel? Do you really fear that she does not return your affection? Be-"
"Leave it alone, brother," I warn him.
Elijah hums, removing his touch. "I can be quite observant, Niklaus. And I have observed the two of you for quite some time. You've certainly spent a large amount of it together, and it's clear to see that she feels-"
"Don't," I cut him off with a growl. "As you said, you don't understand."
I can tell my harshness concerns Elijah as he tenses beside me. "What is it then, Niklaus? What is holding you back from being happy with her?"
In a quick succession of movements, I turn to my brother, glare at him, but then give in when I see the sincere love in his eyes. My rage dissipates as I release a long sigh. "She's better off without me, Elijah. You and I both know that. I will only hurt her in the end."
...
The gray veins have spread to her stomach. My heart drops at the sight. Lily, my Lily, is leaving me. Cami and Hayley huddle close together. Already tears linger in their eyes. Marcel remains near the end of the bed, seeming frozen to the moment. Elijah, my devoted brother, stands beside me. His hand still on my shoulder, reminding me that he's here for me. But who's there for Lily?
"N-Nik." At the whisper of my name, my eyes flash to see Lily awake. Her voice is faint and strained, yet it sends a shock of relief through my system.
"Lily." I squeeze her hand, leaning in closer to her.
"I-I..." she releases a shaky breath. "I-I...I-"
A crushing pain enters my chest as I move to sit on the bed next to her. Brushing her hair behind her ear, her skin burns to the touch. "I know, Love. I know." I smile at her as best as I can, rubbing her cheek with my thumb.
"S-stef-fan...D-Dam-mon?" she mutters through uneasy breaths as she cringes with pain. She struggles to get each syllable out.
"On their way, Love. They'll be here soon," I try to assure her. She seems to accept this answer as her eyes close again. With love and compassion rushing through me, I pick her up gently and slide in behind her. Wrapping my arms around her, she turns her body to sleep against my chest as I hold her. I hold her, knowing that this may be the last time. So to distract myself from the sorrowful thought, I remind myself of the first time, the first time I truly got to hold her beyond a friendly embrace.
...
"Nik, c'mon!" Lily yells ahead of me as she runs through the city gardens. "You are too slow." She giggles, and the sound sets my heart aflame. With a quick chuckle, I dash after her. When she sees me coming, she laughs and runs away. We both know I am faster than her, but I amuse her with the chase. Once I decide to catch up to her, I reach for her hand, spinning her around. She grins at me. "Who says you're too old to have fun, huh?" I smile at her remark, watching as her gaze shifts from me to the flowers around us. Her grin widens even more at the sight of them. "They're so beautiful, aren't they?" She asks as she reaches out to touch them.
I look to her. My voice low. "Yes, you are." Yet, she doesn't seem to hear me. Instead, she appears in her own head, as she always is, and ventures down the garden path. I walk behind her, enjoying the gleam of awe in her eyes as she remarks about which ones she thinks she likes best. It's a rather sweet sight.
When she stumbles upon lilies, she stops. I step up beside her, watching her as she simply stares at them. "There's so many types of lilies." Her face squishes up in a way that let's me know she's pondering something. "They're all different but the same. It's like...like the flower has a hundred identities, like it can pick who or what it wants to be." My brows rise at her commentary. Where is she going with this? Turning to face me, her soulful eyes gaze into mine. "Is that what immortality is like? After so many lives, you pick and chose who you want to be in the next one?"
Sometimes I forget how new she is to vampirism. Whereas I have lived this life for centuries, for her, it's only been a few years. Considering her question, I hum. "Hmm. I would say it depends on the person. Some surely do change each life time, pick a new identity. We certainly all evolve over time. But others...others I like to think, find that core, the center, of themselves that they wish to remain with."
Frowning, Lily drops her eyes to the ground as a defeated look enters her eyes. "I haven't found my center. Often, I fear I never will. My whole life, I've always been forced into choices that weren't my own," she says, and I'm reminded of how she was forced into vampirism. "What if I never find myself?"
Hating the sound of doubt in her voice, I'm desperate to assure her. "You will," I whisper to her. "You will. I know it." Her eyes capture my own in their stare as she blinks at me, looking so innocent.
"And you?" She asks. "Have you found your center?"
Her question sends a shock of surprise down my spine. I turn my body away from her as I glance to the flowers around us. "Some people unfortunately lose themselves along the way, I'm afraid. I think...I know I am one of them."
"Nik," she gasps. "No. How could you think such a thing?" Her fingers brush against mine. "You're one of the most passionate people I've ever met. You're confident and willful. Funny and charming. You always know what you want, and your ambition drives you to it. How could you say you don't know yourself?"
Hiding my face from her, I allow my self-doubt to echo into my voice. "Because it is not myself that brings me joy. No, by myself I only suffer. How could my center make me feel that way if it is the true center of my being?"
Lily shifts beside me, placing a hand upon my elbow. "Nik," she whispers. Her voice filled with a tenderness that makes my heart pound in my chest. "I won't deny your statement, because only you know yourself that true, but I will argue that your center is all around you. It's in your brother, in Marcel. It's in each piece of your art."
"And what about you?"
The question slips from my mouth before I can stop it. It only brings me shame when Lily falters, stilling beside me. "What do you mean?" Her voice is quiet. She's obviously puzzled by my outburst.
I face her. "What do you think of me? Do you see me as I see you?"
Her head tilts to the side as she blinks at me. The crease between her brows wrinkles as she studies me. "Of course I see you. You're my friend-"
A bitter scoff falls from my lips as I turn my back to her once more. Stepping away, I run a hand through my hair, trying to calm myself. "I really hate that word," I mutter.
Lily remains silent behind me, yet I can feel her stare blaze through the clothes on my back. "I'm confused, Nik," she murmurs.
"I know, Love. I know you are." Because she's never seen me like I see her. She's never understood how much I crave to be near her, how her mere presence disrupts the chaos in my head. She's my everything, yet I am only her friend. And I thought that it would be enough. As only her friend, I could keep her away from my darkness, but as time goes on, as we grow closer, I long for her as I have no one else.
"Niklaus." Her hand clasps onto my arm as she urges me to spin and face her. "I don't understand what's going on. I-"
"I love you, Liliana."
The confession is out of my mouth before I can think it through. Turning to face her, she stares at me with wide eyes. Her mouth agape as her face blanks of emotion. The ugly feeling of regret and rejection floods through my body as I watch her. "Lily, I..." I start, but trail off as I don't know where to go with this. I don't know what to say to take it back, to make it better.
Her gaze drops to the ground, yet she still doesn't move as if she's frozen to the spot. "F-for how long?" She stumbles, still avoiding my gaze as her fingers curl together in front of her.
I sigh. "A long time."
She looks up at this with surprise lingering in her eyes. Shaking her head, she frowns at me. "Why did you not tell me sooner? If you truly feel this way about me...why did you not tell me?"
This time, I avoid her gaze, looking away as I am honest with her. "Because I was afraid you would not love me back. All this time I've been your friend, nothing less and nothing more. I did not want to lose you if you did not feel the same."
"Nik," she says. "Nik, look at me." Yet, I don't, too nervous to see what emotions lies on her face. "Nik." Her hand reaches for my chin, tipping it down until our gazes are level. With a resolute look on her face, she shakes her head at me. "You are a fool." Then, before I can process it, her lips are on mine. Shock shoots down my spine, but I ignore it, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. As if they are their own symphony, our lips crash and collide together in a perfect harmony. My hands press against her back as I try to show her my love through the kiss. A small moan of pleasure falls from her lips as I smirk. Yet, all too quickly, she's pulling away, grinning at me.
I grin in return. "Does this mean...?" I start, yet too breathless to finish it. She nods at me.
"Yes, Niklaus Mikaelson. I return your affection. I have for awhile, yet I thought you did not feel the same."
"Now, who's the bloody fool?" I tease her, and she giggles. All this time we've been dancing around each other. All this time, I could've had her, yet I let my fear get in the way. Never again. Never again will I stop myself from telling her how I feel, especially not when she can kiss me like that.
"Say it."
She laughs at me. "What?"
"Say that you love me. I want-I need to hear it."
A grin breaks out across Lily's lips. "I love you, Niklaus."
I echo her grin, pressing my lips to hers again. She giggles at the kiss as we pull away. "So, what now?" She asks, her cheeks still flushed.
Smiling, I cup her cheek in my hand. "We continue to just be us, but I'm allowed to do this now." I pull her in for another kiss, and she wraps her arms around my neck. When I start to trail my kisses down her neck, she sighs. "And now, I won't have to watch all those men steal you away with a dance," I taunt against her skin. Lily giggles, pushing me away to see my face.
"Did that really bother you?"
I straighten up. "Of course, Love. None of them deserved to even breathe the same air as you. And I can admit that seeing you with them, laughing, smiling, it made me envious."
"Hmm," Lily smiles at this, lifting herself up on her tip-toes to reach my height. "Well, you know," she whispers, "the whole time I was with them, I wished it was you. But you never asked me to dance."
Pressing a peck to her cheek, I lay my face against her neck. "Well, for now on, we shall only dance if that is your wish."
Lily laughs.
...
Lily stirs restlessly in her sleep. Clasping onto my shirt, her face scrunches up from pain. I press kisses to her hair, wishing that I could take away her pain, but I can't. The gray veins have reached her collarbone, already trailing up to her shoulders. I squeeze my eyes shut, hiding my face in her hair as tears pool behind my eyes.
I'm glad the others are gone. It's just us now. The way it should be.
Her skin has cooled. Now, she's cold to the touch. Her heartbeat has slowed and her breaths are faint. I hold onto her with all I have. If only I hadn't abandoned her in the fire, maybe this wouldn't be happening. If only I had let her go all those years ago, she may still have lived. So many "if only's" race through my mind as I consider everything I've could've done differently that may have resulted in a different outcome than this. Yet, the thoughts are useless. They won't bring her back. Nothing will.
The gray veins grow, inching up to the base of her neck. My heart cracks at the sight of it. "Lily," I whisper in her hair. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me."
"N-nik." The faintest whisper leaves her lips. My eyes widen, yet before she can say more, I feel her body relax in my hold as the pain disappears. She's getting ready to go. Her body is allowing her one last moment of peace before she's ripped away from me. Making a decision, I close my eyes and focus on the woman in my arms. The vervain she's always taken is strong, yet I fight against it. I need to win. The effort has me breaking out in a sweat, but Lily's body is weak enough that I manage it. Then, I'm in her mind.
Forming a picture of the garden, I find her there among the flowers on a blanket. She grins when I join her. "Nik," she calls my name, beckoning me over. I walk over to her, finding a place next to her on the blanket. Once I'm settled, her head falls upon my shoulder as my arm wraps around her waist. "This is it, isn't it?" Her voice is calm and light. When I don't answer, she shifts to look at me. Those piercing sapphire eyes with their flecks of jade green capture my whole being. Her hands rise to cup my face as she smiles reassuringly at me. "It's okay, Nik. I'll be okay."
Still, I cannot answer her. Instead, tears run down my cheeks as I take her in for one last moment. Leaning toward me, Lily presses a long kiss to my lips, wiping my tears away with her fingers. "It'll be okay, Nik."
I don't tell her that I don't believe her. No, instead, I let her bless me with her smile once more as she kneels above me. Her thumbs brush along my cheekbones as her eyes flicker over my face. "I love you, Niklaus. I love you." She pecks my lips once more. "Never forget that." Her smile widens as her fingers raise to run through my hair. I close my eyes at her touch. She giggles, and it sets my heart aflame. "I choose you, Nik." I open my eyes at her words. "I choose you for my always and forever." Her lips lower for a final kiss...and then she's gone.
She disappears from my arms.
I'm left in the garden alone. A tear runs down my cheek before I blink.
And I'm back in our bedroom. Glancing down, I watch as the gray veins reach the top of Lily's head, and she dies in my arms.
She's gone.
My Lily is dead.
Liliana's POV
One moment everything is black, and the next, I find myself in the Boarding House. Sat among our living room is the Mystic Falls gang. Caroline, Matt, Jeremy, Tyler, Bonnie, and Elena. They all stare at a phone set upon the coffee table between them. A silence fills the already tension-thick air. Then, Bonnie gasps. Their eyes flag to her. And slowly, ever so slowly, Bonnie turns around in her seat to look at me.
Another gasp escapes her.
"Hello, Bonnie," I say. The witch's eyes widen before shuddering close. She takes a moment, then she opens them and stands. The others watch her with baited breaths.
"Hi, Lily," she whispers. The members of the Mystic Falls gang gasp behind her. Caroline presses a hand to her mouth as Elena hugs her tight to her side. Tears well up in Caroline's eyes as well as the others. "Your brothers..." Bonnie trails off.
I shake my head. "They didn't make it in time." Bonnie's eyes flash with surprise and sorrow, though she doesn't comment. There isn't much to say.
In the heavy silence that follows, a tear slips out of the witch's eye. "So, how does this work?" I ask her before things get too emotional.
Bonnie takes my cue and wipes the tear away. As the anchor to the Other Side, I will have to pass through Bonnie to get there. It's the only way. "All you have to do is touch me," she says with grief in her eyes. I nod.
My fingers twist together as I glance at her with apprehension. "What's it like over there?"
The witch bites her lip, clearly debating whether to tell me the truth. I know the Other Side isn't as good as it seems--it's supernatural purgatory after all. Eventually, she answers.
"Lonely."
I frown at this but accept it all the same. It may be lonely, but at least I'll get to watch over the ones I love. I'll be able to visit Klaus and my brothers. I just hope that Elijah follows through on delivering my letters.
"Okay," I nod, "I think I'm ready." I step towards Bonnie as a another tear leaks from her eyes. "I'm sorry that this is going to hurt." Anytime someone passes through Bonnie to the Other Side, it causes her physical pain.
Bonnie attempts a small smile. "It's okay. I'm sorry this happened to you."
I send her a small smile in return before reaching out my hand. As my palm falls upon her shoulder, a weird sensation comes over me, and then...nothing. I'm still in the Boarding House, but it's not the same. It's as if the whole atmosphere has changed. Everything seems so dimmed, so faded. However, I don't let myself dwell on the fact as I close my eyes, thinking of my brothers.
When I open them next, I'm in a car. From the backseat, I see Damon and Stefan sitting in a dense silence together as they pass the sign for New Orleans. I sadden at this. They're going to be devastated to know they're too late. And a moment later, Bonnie calls to deliver the news. Damon answers casually, though there's a tension in his voice. "What's up, Bonnie?"
"I'm sorry, Damon," she whispers over the line. Damon's face goes slack. His fingers tense on the wheel, his knuckles white, as he jerks the car toward the side of the road. Her tone of voice said it all. He knows.
"What do you mean? Sorry for what?" He demands into the phone as Stefan looks to him anxiously. Damon parks the car and glares at the phone. His fists clench and unclench.
"Damon," Bonnie drawls. "It's Lily, she...she's..."
"No! No! She can't be! No, I refuse to believe that. I-"
"Damon-" yet he hangs up the phone, dropping it as he throws open the car door. Damon stomps toward the ditch on the side of the road as Stefan and I slide out of the car, following him. Pacing back and forth, hands over his head, Damon shakes his head.
"No. No. No. It can't be true. It can't be. No. It can't."
Stefan steps to him. "Damon?"
Yet, Damon doesn't seem to hear him as he keeps muttering to himself. "No. No. No. It can't be. It can't be."
"Damon," Stefan tries again. "Bonnie said-"
"Maybe Bonnie lied!" Damon yells, anger flushing his face. "There's no way she saw her, no way." Yet, the anger behind his words fade as grief overtakes him. "No way...there can't be."
"Damon," Stefan repeats. My eldest brother finally looks to my twin, all his fight dissipating at the look on Stefan's face. "D-Damon." Stefan cracks. Tears run down his cheeks as he stumbles forward, then he's falling to his knees. Damon rushes to his side, anguish in his face as he catches Stefan, gripping onto him tightly. "Lily...how can she...we were supposed to be there...we were gonna find a cure...we-" but Stefan's crying cuts himself off.
Tears glisten in Damon's eyes as he clasps Stefan tight. "I know, little brother. I know."
And together my brothers break down. My own dead heart shatters at the sight, at the pain I've caused.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to them, though I know they can't hear me. "I'm sorry."
My brothers embrace each other tight as they cry. "She dead, Damon," Stefan mutters into Damon's leather jacket. "She's dead. Our sister is dead." A sob cuts through his words, and Damon squeezes him tighter, always the big brother.
"I know, Stefan. I know," Damon replies through his own sorrow. "I know."
After another moment of watching them, I can't bare it any longer. So, I blink, and I'm gone.
Everyone I love will continue to live, and I...I'll only be able to watch them. Never can I interact with them again. No, they've been stripped from me as I was from them.
This is my fate. My new eternal fate.
(A/N: Before anyone asks, no this is not the end. However, I will be taking a small break over the next month for personal reasons, so it will be a bit before the next chapter is out. Thanks for being understanding! Be sure to let me know your thoughts, feelings, reactions below. I enjoy reading the comments--though PLEASE no hate comments.)