The whole time during my relationship with Josh, I was scared to be myself. I never went out with my friends because they were his too. He didn't find me wanting some alone time with my friends a good enough reason to let me go alone. He always had to look over my shoulder and make sure to know and hear every single thing I did.
With Felix, it is different. He doesn't want to check on me whenever I am talking. He always looks at me from the other side of the room until I give him a sign to come over. Just like he is doing now. He is playing with the rings, the ones I told him I found attractive to him, on his fingers while keeping a conversation going with Carson. But he is desperate to come over and play with my hair.
He is barely listening to him just like I am not listening to Alina. She has been going on about a dress she is designing and I am really trying to understand it. But my fashion sense goes as far as what my boss or Jolyn tells me to buy. I am not really into all that stuff so I just buy what I find pretty and hope it fits together.
But I know that Alina is an important person in Felix's life and that is why I am doing my best to be liked by her. It is not really the hardest task to do since she likes me because I am the reason Luke finally talked to her. He had been crushing on her for at least four months before he finally got some balls to talk with her. And that is all because I was the one noticing his longy eyes to her.
"You look happier, did you know that?" Luke pulls me back to reality while Alina is now sitting on his lap. "So do you." He is doing his best to not pull her to the closest room to us because he wants to show her how much he loves her. And I feel like I am third-wheeling them. Or at least, holding them back.
"I should thank you for beating my ass, again. I don't think that I would have ever gone over and talked with her if it wasn't because of you." Alina's face is hiding in the crook of his neck trying to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. I have never seen her blush before in my life because she is known for being quite persistent when it comes to what she wants and feels. "Sometimes all you need is a little push to get the best thing in your life."
And I can tell because I have experience when it comes to that. I am glad that I did not keep myself away from Felix when he showed up that one day in the gym. The old Kennedy would have said no to his crazy idea because I was scared to let loose sometimes. It wouldn't have given me the most amazing guy in the world. Because that is what Felix is to me, he is amazing and I love him with my whole heart.
And sometimes it scares me. I have never felt this before with someone.
"Well thank you for giving me that push." Amelia and Lyra enter the house laughing their asses off. They get a weird look from everybody but I can tell that they just did something stupid. "The bonfire is finally ready but don't ask us how we did it." And that is why they are laughing so loudly because they did something stupid. Lyra's pants are black and I am quite sure it is because of the fire and nothing else.
And I am not the only one who notices it. "Lyra, were your pants already that black before you did the bonfire?" Brandon never has a filter on but he is just the light in every single person's life here. He has been the best friend to Felix whenever he is feeling down and miserable. Brandon is a good guy and I hope that one day he is going to find someone who sees that and not the ice hockey player that breaks girls' hearts. "Brandon, I love you but shut up."
"Make me, sweetheart." And Lyra is blushing because of that comment. She never blushes when the other guys give that kind of comment to her. She always brushes those off and sometimes even fake gags at us. But she is now trying to hide her blush behind a comeback. "You wouldn't be able to handle me, sweetheart." She emphasizes the sweetheart part to make sure to let him know that she isn't affected.
But she is and he knows it. "Only one way to find out." Brandon knows that he is hot and that most of the girls want to spend a night with him. But he doesn't use that to his advantage when it comes to getting girls. He rather dances with them to show how good his hips work on the rhythm. He rarely brings any with them and when he does, it becomes more than just one night.
"Can we get some marshmallows? I want to make smores." Luke has always been good at changing the topic. He was the buffer whenever Josh gave me a hard time. He made sure to always change the topic to something else than me. And I have thanked him for that more than I can count. "They are on top of the fridge. You should get them."
"I am not even the tallest." Luke is pouting like a little child while making his way over to the fridge, very slow. Alina is rolling her eyes at him but she is also trying to hide the smile forming on her lips. She loves him, a lot. "But you have the best back muscles."
All the mouths are wide open from the guys while we, the girls, all nod our heads. It is true that Luke has the best back muscles. I have seen the guy more without a shirt than with one on that I know he looks good underneath it. I never denied it when I became friends with him but Josh never liked that. He always got mad at me whenever I said that Luke looked good.
Felix on the other hand says that I am right. He was even a bit shocked when he saw Luke's bare chest earlier at the beach. Luke tries to hide it with oversized shirts to make sure that people talk to him because of how he is and not how he looks. "Babe, you are so getting treated tonight. This really is too good for my ego."
"We are not going to have any sleep tonight." Carson's hands are wrapped around Amelia's waist pulling her closer to him. He starts to whisper something in her ear, making her face turn red. I am quite sure that they are not going to sleep tonight either. "I am so fucking lonely. Why the hell, am I the only one without action tonight?"
Lyra has changed into some new pants while Brandon is laughing at her. I know that he wants to say something but he stays quiet. Or that is what I thought. "You could come to my room tonight. We can have a movie marathon together." Lyra's smile is wide when she sees that he isn't joking about it. That is the one thing that Felix told me to never joke about when I am around Brandon. He takes movie nights very seriously.
"Can we watch Magic Mike?" Lyra has an obsession when it comes to those movies. I have seen her watch them more than I can count on my two hands. She constantly watches them so I am quite sure those are her comfort movies. "We can watch all the movies that you want as long as you are ready for a long night. I am not going to let you fall asleep."
"That sounds like a solid plan." She hops on his back and makes sure to hold him tight while he brings her to the bonfire outside. Felix is chuckling at them and it makes my insides turn into fire. I am always the happiest whenever he is smiling too. He makes me feel so happy and for the first time in a long time, I am sure that I have everything in my life that I want and need.
I have a guy that loves me for who I am. I have new friends that love my own friends like they know each other for so long. Jolyn and Joey are already in bed wanting to catch up on some sleep because it has been a long drive to here. I am quite sure that they just needed a few moments alone. "I don't think that I am ready to have them be such good friends."
Felix is now beside me, I can tell by how his cologne is filling my nose. I might have mentioned that I liked this one particular cologne he has, and he has been wearing it constantly. Every single thing that I mention to him, he starts to do or wear.
"You brought extra condoms? We might have used the ones that I had with me in the cabinet earlier." He leaves a little kiss behind my ear. I want to forget about the bonfire and bring him to our room. All my logical senses are gone once Felix is around me. "I might have done that. I knew that we wouldn't be able to keep ourselves to only yours."
"You know us too well." He brings his lips to my shoulders and starts to kiss them. "I am the luckiest man in the world to have you by my side. You are the best thing that ever happened to me." His fingertips already found their way at my exposed skin. It is electrifying and gives me butterflies. "I love you, Sloan."
"I love you too, Felix." He turns me around, not giving me any chance to look into his beautiful ocean-blue eyes. The ones that I drown in so many times whenever he is talking to me. "I am glad that I decided to give you a chance when it came to showing me how to be looser." He kisses his way up to my jaw while I hear the laughter of everybody else outside.
"I am also glad that you gave me a chance. I will make it worth it." He pecks my lips and a smile is creeping on my face. "I am also glad that you did your promise as you told me. I did really get a good fuck out of this." I slap his shoulder, or I am trying to do so because he catches it with his hand and twirls me around. "You are such an idiot sometimes."
"But I am your idiot." And I wouldn't change it at all.