2.2 Someone to you | ✔

12 | Lost

"Take another shot, Lewis." The small girl hands me another shot while I feel the alcohol taking over my body. I am not used to drinking this much since I normally know when to stop. "Do you want to take this somewhere else?" I can't even remember asking her name while she is touching my arm. It should be sending me into shivers but instead, I take a step back.

I start to look through the crowd and I see Brandon dancing with Amelia on top of the counter. At every single party, you can always find them on top of a table or a counter. They like to be in the spotlight when they are dancing together. Carson is sitting on top of the counter while keeping a conversation with some of the guys on the team.

I had never been good at small talking with people since I don't know what to ask them. I know enough people that are people pleasers. The ones that keep the conversation going with small talk to make the other person feel better. I am most of the time the person who only answers questions because I have no idea what to do to keep the conversation going.

"Lewis, why are you being so distant?" She uses her long nails to hold my wrist in her tiny hands. I try my best to have my signature smirk on my face but I just can't. I could care less about what she would think about me. "I really don't want to take this somewhere else." She smirks at me, probably thinking something way different than me.

"I knew that you were a legend in bed but I didn't know, you like it like that." I slowly take her to hold off my wrist and slowly push her aside. "I will clarify it better for you. I don't want to take this, which actually is nothing, anywhere. Not even another day." I make my way through the crowd to the guys that are looking at the girls dancing on top of the kitchen counter. Brandon stands between them all, shaking his hips on every single beat.

"That guy really knows how to dance." Tyler takes another sip of his beer while Carson is staring at Amelia. She is giving him the sexy eyes and I just know that tonight will be another night that I have to sleep on the couch. I don't want to hear all their rounds when I am wide awake after all the alcohol I had. "Those dancing lessons are really paying off. Maybe we should have a dancing lesson as a team-building?"

"You want to see ice hockey players trying to dance? Are you sure that this is your first beer?" Carson smirks at me when I just sit beside him. He tips his beer at me and I just shake my head, I can't take another beer. I am quite sure that I won't know how to get through practice tomorrow without making a fool out of myself.

"It wouldn't be such a stupid idea. Just imagine all the stories we would have and could bond over. I just think you should reconsider the idea." Tyler starts to whistle at someone entering. I take another look and see a petite brunette girl entering our house. "Jolyn fucking Carrington could really make me do anything."

The girl behind me is more interesting to me. Kennedy is putting away something in her purse while Jolyn, her roommate is already leading her to the bar. I could already tell that she changed into something else before coming to this party. I had seen her at the hockey game earlier in something else. "Why don't you go over and talk to her?"

Tyler starts to laugh at me like I just told a joke. He stops laughing when he sees that I am serious about it. "You want me to go and talk to Jolyn fucking Carrington? You do know how much I will make a fool out of myself, right?"

"Maybe you should stop calling her, Jolyn fucking Carrington." Carson snorts when Tyler glares at him. 

"It can't be that bad." He shows me his hands that are shaking. I had never seen someone so nervous before to talk with a girl. "I will talk with her friend so you can get some alone time. What do you say about that?" Tyler is suspicious and I can't really blame him. I have never been the kind of guy to help others out with getting girls.

"You are not fooling me, right?" Carson's chuckle stops when I punch him in his stomach. I know what he wants to say and I rather don't hear it. "He is a fucking simp for Kennedy Sloan. He would do anything to just talk with her now." I clearly didn't punch him hard enough because Tyler starts to put all the puzzle pieces together. "You like Kennedy Sloan?"

"Fucking stop shouting." I jump off the counter and pull Tyler through the crowd. I feel like I am his father making him say hello to the whole family. Tyler is my whiny child that is making it a hard time to get through the crowd. He constantly stops to talk me out of this idea. "She is not going to know who I am, Felix. She is not going to talk to me. Don't make me die of embarrassment."

"I thought you could stand me." I stop in front of the bar and see the two girls smiling and dancing with each other. "That is why I am helping you out here. You need to grow some balls and talk with her to find out if you like her or not. It is not going to come when you don't communicate with her. She is not going to find out if you like her by just staring at her."

He snorts. "You should take your own advice."

Tyler takes another deep breath before walking over to Jolyn who is smiling at him. I make sure that I keep an eye on them until I see Tyler leading her out of the kitchen. Kennedy is now leaning her head against the fridge while looking at the crowd. She can look above some people their heads until she locks her gaze with mine.

She places her left sneaker at the fridge while smiling at me. I take this as my chance to go over to her and talk with her about the kiss. I know that I should have done that earlier since I am stupid. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how to tell her that I have these stupid feelings when I am around her and I don't know what to do with them.

I am not used to having feelings for a girl.

"I thought that you would keep staring at me like a creep. So, I came over here so you can stare at me." She bumps her hip into mine and I grab it, pulling her closer to me. I can feel her breath stop when our noses can almost touch each other. "You do know that people can see us? I hope that you know that." She slowly looks up at me with her hazel eyes and I can see a bit of green in it too.

My hand goes down at her arm, sending shivers over my own body when she shyly smiles up at me. I forget about all the people surrounding us. "Do you care what people think of us when they see us together?" I am scared of the answer she is going to give me. "I should ask you that question since you are the one avoiding me after the karaoke night."

She slowly pulls herself away from me and I already miss the feeling she gave me. "I asked the question first." I try to make her smile but she crosses her arms over her chest. "I really don't have time for this, Felix. If you want to play a game with me and see how long it takes for me to fall for you as all the other girls do. Please don't do that."

I want to touch her. I want to take her hand. I want her.

"I don't want a recap of what happened with Josh. I don't want to fall for another guy that doesn't want anything with me." She is not even looking at me. Her white sneakers are more interesting than mine. "I don't want to get hurt again. And I guess if you only see me as a game that you want to play, then I want to know that. Because I am not going to participate in that."

I don't know what to say. It is the first time in my life that I am speechless. "You don't even know what to say, Felix. You just saw me as another one of those games you play when you are bored. I mean, you did tell me that you were doing this because you were bored. I should have known that you wouldn't do it to get to know me better. That you wouldn't change for me."

"I should have known better before letting myself catch feelings for you." When she looks up at me, I want to wipe away her tears but I can't. I don't know how to move anymore and I want to punch myself awake. "I guess that I should go before I do or say something stupid."

Before I could pull her back to me, she was already at the other side of the room. She is no longer in sight when I run to the front door. I see a glimpse of her turning left at the end of the road with someone beside her. I want to run after her but my legs won't work. It feels like I am collapsing into the ground underneath me.

I think that I lost the most amazing thing in my life because of my own fears.