~Tora~
"I TRUSTED YOU!"
Casper screamed with tears streaming down his cheeks as words of vile hatred spewed from his lips directed towards Galen who had been beaten to the floor. Our living room looked like a bomb had gone off with every lamp shattered, couches stained with blood, and holes in the walls that had fresh crumbles of drywall mixing in with the glass strewn across the wood floor. Casper sobs as he lifted his shaky fists and Galen flinched, but the fight had left his body. Micah cast her hand around his to stop him.
"Stop! Casper you're going to kill him! You're going to kill our brother!"
"Tora?"
Gasping for air as I flipped and tumbled right off the edge of the bed and into Galen's waiting arms to stop me from hitting the nightstand. I get a soft landing on the carpet as Galen crouches in front of me, looking more or less concerned for my wellbeing. It seems like these days he's always worried about me and that's the only look I get from him. I want him to stop but how can he when I keep pulling shit like this?
He quietly nods to the door after petting me on the head and I turn around, peeking over the mattress to find Casper still cuddling Micah, holding her in his arms with his foot out to the empty sheets. It moves slightly, almost as if he's scanning for me and he slowly wakes up and sees me with Galen waiting in the doorway before quickly shutting his eyes and pretending he's still in deep slumber.
It's a quiet walk down the hallway with Galen still partially dressed up for work almost like he just got home when it's three in the morning. His dress shoes tapping against the hardwood floors with his hands in his stiff pockets. It's contrasting to my shirtless soft cotton pajama pants and sockless feet in comparison, but at this point, I've learned to be thankful for the moments I get to see him in person.
"I'm impressed that you somehow managed to twist yourself off my side considering how big our bed is," Galen says to try to break our comfortable silence which is a first for him.
"Yeah well maybe if-"
I know we're moving on from the don't make things harder thing but he's trying and if you ruin this Tora I swear to god we're never shifting again
This time Wren repeats the sentiment and holds my tongue from blaming him. Also knowing how fragile our relationship is right now.
Unfortunately Galen's smart enough to finish the sentence for me.
"I'm sorry Tora,"
"You're always apologizing, but if it doesn't go anywhere does it really mean anything?"
I ask him, still a little tired and unable to keep myself under wraps for too long as he clears his throat and walks down the stairs alongside me.
"I'm still transitioning into this role, there's more work involved in it for me than there is for Casper and Micah. I know I'm not home often, but this is only temporary," Galen promises and there's more I could say, but I keep to myself instead. Not even knowing where we were going, just aimlessly following my distant mate.
Should I apologize?
I probably should since I'm always in the wrong somehow.
"Galen, I just want you home. I feel like I never see you anymore and I'm worried about you all the time. I miss you," I confess and Galen's hand gently presses against my lower back.
"What if I come home early tomorrow? I'll just take my work stuff back with me," He offers and I allow myself to lean into him.
"I think I'd like that," I reply, taking in his strong dominant scent as we walk into our large dimly lit kitchen together. He pulls out a chair for me at the island and gently kisses my cheek as I sit. His strong arms fall around my shoulders, giving me a tight squeeze before letting me go.
"What are you doing?" I ask as he turns on the gas stove before rolling up his crisp black dress sleeves to his elbows and filling a kettle with water from the sink.
"Didn't you have a nightmare?" Galen asks, his eye color muted in this light but his gaze had softened since we left the bedroom. The light even cast a handsome glow on his dark skin with his trimmed stubble a lot longer than I remember, accentuating his handsome cheekbones.
"Yeah," I confess and he places the pot on the stove before opening one of the white cabinets. Thinking of the dream, him on the floor, Micah's screaming, the blood on Casper's body.
All of it combined makes me sick to my stomach.
"When I was younger, I used to have the worst night terrors. I can't remember what they were about but I do remember going to Mama. Every time I did, even if it was three in the morning, he always greeted me with the warmest smiles, and sometimes when I was in tears he would bring me to the kitchen. I'd sit on the counter and we'd talk while the water boiled. Well mostly he talked and I listened. Anyway, he would make me this tea and I always slept peacefully afterward,"
Galen explains and I forget just how much I missed his deep rumbling voice until he spoke for a longer period of time than usual. Goddess, he's so naturally sexy and he doesn't even know it. Doesn't even think twice about it. Something about that just sets off a heated tickle in my stomach but I ignore it.
"So you're making me tea? You're so cute honey," I say as I lean forward on my palms with my elbows rested on the counter.
"That's all? Because your mind seems to be headed elsewhere," Galen smirks as he faces me, our island stove on high as the kettle bubbled and I tried to catch the breath I lost when we made eye contact.
"My mind is always headed elsewhere," I groan, rubbing my eyes and he chuckles at my suffering.
"So I've noticed. What was your nightmare about?" He asks, saving me the embarrassment and changing the subject for me.
"I'd rather not go into details, but you and Casper got into a bad fight," I tell him and Galen scratches his chin in thought.
"Were you involved?" He asks and I can only shrug because I wasn't really there.
"I don't know, Casper was really mad at you about something you did," I explain, but he doesn't seem thrown off by it like I was. Probably because I'm leaving out the minor detail of him being near death on our living room floor.
"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. If Casper wasn't mad at me over something I'd be concerned at this point," Galen tries to alleviate my worry, but it doesn't help much as he grabs two mugs from the kitchen island mug drawer and sets them down with a little clink.
"It was different and it's not the first time I've had it," I admit and now I have his attention. He pauses his careful measurement of different herbs to add to a small metal ball and taps his fingers to the counter.
"How strange. Are you having any other weird symptoms? Feeling a bit off?" He asks. When he's looking away from me with his focus now on the herbs, it's easier to tell the truth.
"I don't know, I've been so stressed and tense. It's probably just a side effect. The other day I went out with Hugo and had a panic attack. I couldn't breathe all of the sudden and it was like the world was closing in," I tell him and he blinks a few times.
"Mmm, later this morning we'll talk more about it with Dr. Hamish. This doesn't sound healthy and the dark circles under your eyes tell me you haven't been sleeping much either," Galen goes on to say and I feel slightly insecure. Of course, he would notice my eye bags that could hold enough of my shit to move to another country.
"I haven't been sleeping because you haven't been home and I worry when you're not here," I admit. Galen's pause leaves me a little uneasy as the kettle starts to squeal and he goes on to take it off the heat. Carefully pouring the boiling water straight from the kettle to the mug and letting it settle.
"I'll be home more after the coronation Tora, I promise," He reminds me and I nod, scratching the smooth granite with the tip of my fingernail as my fingers dance in my careful intrusion of words. Casper told me to try for at least six months, but how am I supposed to try when month one is almost over and he's never home.
"I know," Is all I can really say and he slides the steaming mug over to me. I know it's still too hot to drink, but there's some comfort in feeling the warmth radiating through my hands. Galen tilts my chin up and his lips are there to greet me. It's so calm and inviting in the storm of thoughts flying around my mind like an unstoppable tornado of heart-racing fear.
The way his hand grazes my chin and his gentle caress sweeps me into a deeper kiss by surprise. The tornadoes stop rotating and suddenly the world revolves around him while the burning grows and I do my best to keep it at bay by separating from him. Knowing we're never going to get that far.
Speechless, I lean back, bringing the mug to my lips while he remains close to me. His hands now gently toying with my hair as he watched me take a sip. It's a delicious melody of sleepy flavors that have my eyes heavy with just a few whiffs. I take another careful sip before putting it down and leaning into his large hand, closing my eyes just to melt into him.
"Sleepy already hon?" He chuckles and I can feel the vibration rumbling in his chest, making me happy for the first time in a while. I haven't heard him really laugh since Antum and that feels like years ago now.
"Yeah, thank you, I needed this," I grumble as he kisses my forehead.
"Anything for my little mate,"
***
"Severe anxiety?"
Casper asks aloud as he struggles to slip his shoes on while tying his crimson-colored tie at the same time in our living room where we had gathered along with Dr. Hamish after he examined me and asked a few questions.
Micah gently pushes her hair back to fall behind her powerful black blazer in her blood-red four-inch heels, sitting beside me as she drinks her morning coffee with her belly barely showing when she wears all black with the exception of her heels and gold necklace.
Galen anchors himself to the wall, leaning against it with his arms crossed as he watches Hamish's every move when he's close to me while I sat on the couch and he took my blood pressure.
"It appears so, probably from the stress your under. It's not healthy and you'll start having more panic attacks if we don't get it under control. Medications can be used if it gets severe but I don't think we're there yet. Let's try by avoiding some of your stress," Dr. Hamish suggests and Casper snorts.
"So avoid the three of us is what you're saying?" Casper asks and Galen clears his throat.
"Is this something that runs in the family?" Galen asks and I raise my brow in confusion as I look at him. How is Hamish supposed to know what runs in my family when I don't have a family?
"Excuse me?" Dr. Hamish stutters as if he's been taken by surprise and I'm confused by his reaction too. Why didn't he just calmly say he didn't know like he usually does.
"Well, I know depression runs in our family. Is anxiety something that runs in yours?" Galen continues prodding and I'm even more confused now but not by my husband's insinuations. It's in the doctor's guilty reaction.
"I-I-I'm sorry alpha, I don't think Lunos Tora was given any medical records from the temple to give us that information," Dr. Hamish tries to play it off and slowly pulls away from me.
"Are you not his father?" Galen asks and the room suddenly falls to dead silence. Dr. Hamish blinks a few times, frozen in place as he watches Galen and refuses to look at me.
"What are you talking about hon? He's just my mentor," I try to laugh it off, but the serious expression on everyone's faces said otherwise.
"How did you know?" Hamish asks Galen and my joking attitude fades as quickly as my smile. Staring at Hamish with open eyes now that I see him in front of me.
Suddenly analyzing everything, every conversation we've had, every moment we've spent together in the clinic, and never has he ever hinted a word that would have led to the conclusion that he is my father.
"When an alpha kisses their mate for the first time, they're blessed with a look into the life of their mate to give them a better understanding of where they came from. I saw what you did to them," Galen explains, not moving from his position and now I'm the one frozen in place.
My heart pounding against my chest as I stared at a man I once trusted with my life. A man who never cared about mine. A man whose abandonment I never forgave.
"Dr. Hamish, tell him he's wrong. It's okay, he won't be mad," I practically plead and the doctor's heavy gaze falls to the floor.
"He's right Tora, I'm your father," Hamish sighs with his guilt showing and I shake my head profusely.
No, a father wouldn't have abandoned me. A father wouldn't have lied to my face and told me he was just a normal doctor in a clinic for years. A real father wouldn't have abandoned me in a loveless temple. A father would have taught me what love was instead of letting me fall for a boy who wanted to use me instead.
"Tora,"
"No,"
I continue shaking my head when Micah tries to comfort me with her hand on my shoulder. Pushing it off as I go to stand, holding my head in my hands.
"I'm sorry,"
Hamish apologizes but for fucks sake I'm sick and tired of everyone apologizing. If you knew it was a shitty thing to do why did you do it in the first place? Why did you let our bond become some stupid fucking facade of us as mentor and protege when all this time we were father and son?
One son, since Galen said 'them' which means the boy who looks like me must be my brother.
Xora and Tora of fucking course, how could I be so stupid?
"No, no, we might share the same blood, but blood doesn't make you my father! Do you think you can just take that role like you never abandoned us? Being a father is a role that is earned, especially in your case you fucking biological sperm donor. You are not my father!"
I argued, the only heated person in the room as I stormed out of the living room in hopes of getting as far away from him as possible.
I don't need a father, I think I did a pretty good job raising myself.
Father my ass.
******
For precautions
Chapter Trigger Warning (TW) for se*ual assault/r*pe in chapter 40 this friday
Sections marking the paragraphs including this scene will be marked with a +
I censored the words so the site doesn't delete it.
It might seem like this topic is touched on in almost all of my books, but as a survivor, it's a part of my story and I write about what I've personally experienced or relate to.
In the next few chapters you'll learn that S*xual a*sault/ R*pe can happen in marriage and why consent is always important.