I sat criss crossed on the bed sketching out a still life reference. Mel was always all up on me whenever I sketched in our room. He was sitting behind me with his arms wrapped around my neck. Literally breathing down my neck. He had work from home today so of course he spent it bothering me after finishing. I didn't hate it though. "What's this mean?" He asked pointing at lines I made on the paper. "Just to show me the dimensions of the shape I'm drawing." I said concentrating on my work. "It's an orange." He said chuckling. I smiled giggling. "Yes it is an orange." I said feeling him kiss the side of my face. "Looks so realistic." He said picking up his phone reverting his attention to it. He laid his head on my shoulder scrolling on whatever it was that he was on. I traced along the lines I drew erasing where I needed for at least 10 mins.
I put my pencil down taking a deep breath knowing I was starting to strain my eyes. I groaned sitting up straight feeling the heavy weight of Mel on my shoulders. "Mel you're heavy." I whined. He laughed leaning in kissing my cheek down to my neck. "Stop." I said giggling as he unwrapped his arms from around me. He stood off the bed picking up his phone. "Wait." I said closing my eyes puckering my lips playfully. He chuckled leaning down sliding his hand around my neck. I opened one eye seeing him with a goofy smile on his face. I laughed leaning in kissing him like normal feeling his grip around my neck tighten. He bit my lip lightly making me open my mouth giving him an entrance for his tongue. I raised my hand bringing it to his face as his tongue roamed around my mouth. He pulled away, a string of saliva stretching from our lips.
I smiled up at him biting my bottom lip. "What?" He asked laughing. "Your birthday is soon." I said. "Yep." He said letting my throat go. Mel never really liked his birthday and didn't like celebrating it but I always got him a cake and bought him something. "What do you want?" I asked letting my hand fall from his face. "Hmm nothing really." He said stretching. "Just you is enough." He said picking up his sweatshirt to put on. I felt my face grow warm at his words. "You're so corny." I said laughing plopping back on the bed. "You're a hater." He said laughing. I looked over at him watching as he picked up his lighter. "What do you want for dinner though?" He asked.
"Mmm." I hummed thinking. "Pizza maybe, what you think?" I asked. "Was thinking the same thing." He said picking up his wallet. "You're going to go pick it up now?" I asked turning to lay on my stomach holding my head up with my hand. "Yea why?" He asked. I thought it over in my head quickly before deciding not to ask if he was going to go smoke too. He's been smoking a lot lately and I knew he only smoked a lot when something was bothering him or he had something on his mind. Of course he always had smoke sessions with Reece or with me if I was up for it, but it's been a lot more than usual recently. "Nothing I was just asking." I said. "Aight I'll be back." He said stepping into his slides walking out the door. I sat there for a minute thinking about how I would even go about asking him how he was feeling mentally. It wouldn't be something hard to do it's just more about his response. He wasn't one to share his feelings much. I took a deep breath sitting up ending up just deciding to ask him when the time came.
I picked up my sketchbook having the urge to clean while Mel was gone. I walked into my art room putting my book on the shelf before going out to the kitchen to clean up a little more than I already had. I moved on to the living room afterwards putting away some random things that were out and about. Once I finished I pulled a blanket out of the closet knowing that when Mel got back we would probably watch a movie together in the living room. I looked over at the door as Mel walked in. I smiled seeing him holding a box of pizza. I walked over to him happily taking the pizza. "What movie do you want to watch?" I asked opening the box seeing half of it was cheese and the other was chicken. "Mmm something scary." He said. I looked up at him seeing his eyes were a little red. I sniffed quietly smelling the faint smell of weed still on him.
I nodded turning walking back to the living room. I frowned slightly feeling sadness take over me. I wanted to talk to Mel about what could possibly be bothering him. I hope it wasn't anything too much for him. I sat down on the sofa as Mel came out the room after taking his sweatshirt off leaving him with just a tank top on. He sat down next to me putting his arm behind me on the sofa. I looked forward at the tv as I picked the movie crossing my legs. "You okay?" Mel asked sliding his hand down to my shoulders. I looked over at him seeing his low eyes. "Yea why?" I asked softly. "You just looked uncomfortable." He said leaning back on the sofa spreading his legs slightly.
I was. I didn't know how to react if Mel wasn't okay. Of course I would do anything to help him but it just wasn't a common thing. He never really talks about his true feelings unless they were his feelings towards me. Even if I asked him how he was feelings how would he respond? If I asked him we would have to be in a comfortable mood where he wouldn't even have to think about it and would just tell me. I sighed lightly putting my legs over one of his legs laying my head on his shoulder starting the movie.
***
It's been a week since Mel had work from home. It just felt like things got worse. Of course our relationship is fine but he's been smoking even more. I looked up at Mel as my head laid on his lap while we sat on the sofa. I reached up touching one of his dreads. "Let me retwist them." I said. He looked down at me smiling. "Yea okay, I need it." He said. "It'll be for your birthday in two days." I said happily. "I don't want to do anything really." He said looking up at the tv. "We won't even go out for dinner?" I whined. "Of course we will, we'll do anything you want to." He said placing his hand on my thigh. "But it's your birthday." I said. "I know but I just want to be with you, it doesn't really matter what we do." He said looking back down at me.
"You're annoying." I said giggling sitting up. "Okay fine, how bout we get a hotel room and you put sumn on for me." He said licking his lips looking over at me. "So boring." I said jokingly. "What? I thought that'd be fun." He said chuckling. "You could put on a show for me." He said, his eyes going down to my lips. I groaned standing. "We could do that at home." I said. "Ah that's even better." He said. I rolled my eyes walking towards our room. "Okay no but seriously I really don't want to go out anywhere I want to stay home with you." He said standing following me. "For real?" I asked picking up my phone off my charger. "Yep." He said popping the p. "26 is not that special of a number anyway." He said climbing onto the bed. "But even last year you didn't want to do much when you were turning 25." I said looking over at him.
"We did do something though." He said. "Barely, we only went out to have dinner and watch fireworks because a festival was around at this time last year but also because I made you." I said checking my messages. I had a message from Jay. I'd been avoiding him for a minute now but I was contemplating on responding to him soon. I honestly still wanted to work on the piece with him.
"That was fun though, definitely a night to remember." Mel said smiling. He really did seem to enjoy himself at that time. It made me happy to see him having fun with me. "Glad you liked it but the festival is not here this year." I said sighing putting down my phone. "This is why we should stay home." He said. I groaned plopping down on the bed. "What's wrong?" He asked laughing. "We can do a hotel, I just don't want to stay home." I whined pouting. "That's fine with me too as long as you're there." He said chuckling grabbing my hand. "Is that really what you want to do?" I asked looking over at him watching him kiss the back of my hand. "Of course." He said letting my hand go standing.
I watched him walk over to the dresser picking up two already rolled blunts putting them in the pockets of his sweatpants. This was his probably third time going out today and it was only four in the afternoon. "I'll be right back, tell me what hotel you find." He said picking up his phone.
I frowned watching him slide on his slides going out the door. I took a deep breath sitting up. I'll ask him about it when he comes back. I just don't want him to feel like he can't talk to me about certain things especially if it's about his feelings. I tell him almost anything when it comes down to how I feel because he always gives me good advice or knows how to accommodate to how I feel about something he does. I just wish he felt the same towards me when it came down to things like that. He'd always be the one to just keep things bottled up.
One of the only times he's been really open and transparent with me was around the time of his mom's death anniversary. He's a wreck whenever the date comes around. The first year when I was with him he called me and asked me to come over to his house because he just wanted someone to talk to. Of course I came and let him vent to me but right after he asked me to leave because he really didn't want me to see him the way he was. Last year around his mom's death anniversary was one of the first times I'd seen him hysterical. I comforted him the whole day. It was like it got worse for him to deal with each year. He was crying so much that day but the day after he just brushed it under the rug like nothing happened. He didn't want to talk about it anymore and wouldn't answer me if I asked him about it. It was understandable though so I just respect his feelings and let him deal with them how he wants until he decides to come to me.
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I haven't updated in a minute but summer over and I didn't do as many fun activities as I wanted to do to be honesttt BUT fall is my favorite :)