-Kaisa-
Levi and Hange continue their passive aggressive words all the way towards the wall, and not long after, we're standing at the top of the wall around ten minutes later. The two of them carry glowing-orbs as the moon sits comfortably amongst the stars above us. Following behind us is Moblit, who's carrying multiple bags with various items inside for Hange's experiment of which we know nothing about.
"Why is Moblit carrying that by himself? Shouldn't we help him?" I ask Levi, who's just set me down.
Hange waves it off, "Moblit is a strong man—he'll be fine."
The woman excitedly writes her conditions for the experiment after requesting Levi to sit me on the wall. Placing a blanket underneath me, I sit watching the scientist who begins marking the wall. Levi holds the light for her, and Moblit finally catches up to our location. I give him a small wave and smile; he returns the courtesy. Hange completes her set up, instructing me once she's ready with Levi on her right who has crossed arms.
"Alright, Kaisa. I need you to melt through this wall!" Her voice is filled with obsession and excitement.
"But it's not the same crystalized version as Rod Reiss' underground temple." I respond.
Hange squats to my level, "Remember when I confirmed the similarities between the Wall and Annie's crystallization? Well, the crystallization used by Rod for his temple has the same molecular composition. You probably experienced an adverse reaction when you first touched it, didn't you?" She asks.
The moment I touched my back completely against the crystallization, that's when a shock of pain ran through my body. Is that relevant information? Probably.
I hold a hand underneath my chin, "Well, now that I think about it, I did have a few aversions when I first woke up in that cell."
Hange nods, writing down my accounts before waving at the other two men to move from me. Moblit and Levi trail after her quietly, putting distance between us for their safety.
"Okay, Kaisa. I need you to think of the wall like you did downstairs. When you're doing it, I need you to tell me what you're thinking about when the thought passes through your minds, okay?" She calls out.
I nod just as realization strikes me. My gaze locks with Levi, his brows furrow in response.
Levi, I don't want to say what I'm thinking of.
Why not?
It's embarrassing.
Then don't say it—just don't expect Hange to figure out more about you.
I break contact with him, slightly upset that he doesn't give me a satisfying answer. Regardless, I take a breath in before carefully placing my hands on the concrete, adjusting myself.
"Wait." Levi interrupts my preparation.
Hange whines, dropping the clipboard to her sides in defeat, "What now, Levi?"
"Fasten yourself in the wall unless you want to go flying." He informs both Hange and Moblit.
"Ah, right! Don't want to fall off the wall now, do we?" Hange rhetorically asks, shooting a hook into the wall. Levi gives her a side glance before taking his own advice, adjusting his wires as he wished.
"Alright, go for it, Kaisa!" She encourages from the side.
"Anything for you, Hange!" I wink back.
Letting out a final breath, I imagine the wall melting through my palms as I did in Rod's place. Recalling the words spoken to me from that night, I let my moon guide me through my actions. The new discovery of the mark imprinted across Levi's chest is enough for me to consolidate what I heard underground, but the mark on my own skin only makes it that more confusing. Regardless, I rest my weight on my palms, leaning forward, awaiting the steam to pass through my fingers.
Without notice, the wind violently thrashes around me, spiraling upwards in a tornado-like fashion. I hear Hange's yelp, which probably means they've been moved off their feet. The wall beneath me cracks where I kneel, and the crystallization steams from my point of contact. My hair whips around my face haphazardly without any discipline, and for some reason, the left side of my chest hurts. A slight glance to the left reveals three of my loved ones struggling to keep their equilibrium on their ODM gear. I tug at my wrists to move back to avoid any casualties but Hange's excited screams bring my attention back.
"Holy smokes! She's literally summoning a whirlwind!" She cackles from the side.
Hange attempts to question me from the sidelines, but the sky thunders before I register her words. The clouds above spark yellow, crashing down towards my form as the wall melts beneath my hands. The electricity follows down my body, the spirit of the lightning visibly flickering around my arms and figure. It doesn't hurt, burn, or sting, but I feel like I've expended too much energy. It feels like a blade is clawing its way through my torso, and the ligaments in my arms are ready to snap. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes, and suddenly, a final gust of wind ripples from me as the epicentre, silencing the chaos. Removing my hand from the dented area, I rest back, taking deep breaths as my hair drops against my shoulders.
Heavy footsteps rush towards me but stop a distance from me. Turning to them with eyes wide, Hange appears excited but Levi seems more surprised than anything. With pen in hand, Moblit is probably sketching what I look like right now behind Hange as he usually does when experimenting with his squad leader. I flinch unexpectedly when another flicker of energy sparks around me as it did seconds ago. Its bright, neon, golden colour brightens the vicinity.
"Woo! Okay, okay, okay! Can I touch you?! Let me see if you're hot!" Hange rhetorically asks, infiltrating my space.
"Wait, Hange!" I retort in defense while bringing a hand up, preventing her from touching me.
The moment my hand pulls up to put distance between us, the wind aggressively throws itself in her direction. Her body flips before crashing into Moblit, both of them tumbling across the concrete while Levi is thrown off his feet, hair rapidly thrashing in the air before landing on the edge safely from his gear. He stares in awe before making his way towards me, hooks still fastened in the Wall.
"Fuck, I'm sorry! Hange, Moblit, are you okay?!" I call out as Levi approaches.
"Kaisa, what the hell did you just do there?" He questions, eyes darting across my features before ending in another gaze with me.
"I...I don't know! It just happened. The fucking sky burst and then the wind just went fwoop!" I go to move my hands but Levi snatches them.
"Try not to move any more than you should, scissor-hands." He calmly reminds me, checking over his shoulders.
His hands cover mine completely, crouching in front of me as we wait for Hange and Moblit to make their way over. I nod in agreement, catching my breath as I observe my surroundings. The flags have torn off their post while some cannons are unhinged from their positions, and the clouds above are spinning cautiously.
I did all this?
"Levi, what'd I do?" I wonder aloud.
He scoffs, "You blew the shit out of us—I could barely see anything. But, the lights in the city...they all flickered for a slight second."
Another spark flashes around my body, but Levi doesn't seem affected by it. I wonder if Hange would experience the same reaction or if she'd have some aversion to it—maybe that's another experiment waiting to happen. From afar, Moblit helps Hange up while peering around her body, examining for any injuries she may have sustained. The moment she's on her feet, she rushes towards me.
"Damn, Kaisa! I can't believe you'd do me like that!" She cackles.
I laugh nervously, "Well, I don't think you should touch me. These sparks are still flying around and I don't know if it'll hurt you."
She crouches with interest in her voice, "How do you know that Levi won't be hurt by them?"
I bite my tongue, knowing I've expressed too much already to stop now, "Because he's the one igniting the flame." I reply reluctantly, nudging my head at Levi.
Her brows crease, "Igniting the flame, hmm?"
Moblit rushes over with a clipboard and pen, supplying her with it. She snatches it quickly, rushing to write the information I'm giving her.
"What's Short-Tempered-Midget got to do with any of this?"
I search my head for answers while Levi burns a hole into the side of Hange's skull, "Well, I...I don't really know. I just I feel that this rush of energy is not mine alone."
"Do you have memories at all regarding what happened?"
"The moon." I softly respond, hair covering my face.
"The moon?" She questions.
As I go to speak, raindrops fall from the sky, starting out slow before pouring down. Levi shifts over me with his arm, trying to block the droplets from reaching me. The clouds aren't spinning anymore, but instead, are darker and more intimidating than they were when we first arrived. Some drops fall between Levi's arm and myself, dampening my shirt and face.
"Can't you ask these questions inside, Hange?" Levi spits.
"I just have to make sure of one thing first." She ignores his tone.
I don't have time to ask her what she's wanting to find out because she unexpectedly slices part of my upper left arm, opening wounds that are still sensitive from the time I cut them months back. A scream tears my vocal cords in response and I immediately slam my free hand overtop the cut in reaction. For some reason, the pain beyond what it should be, and my vision blurs for a moment before refocusing on the people in front of me. Levi sprints into action, pushing Hange away while standing in front of me.
His voice booms throughout the night, "Oi, Hange! What do you think you're doing?!"
"What...what the fuck?" I whisper, staring at Levi's back.
In front, a turquoise-blue spark flashes around Levi for a moment—sparks that are almost identical to mine. Am I doing that? Or is Levi creating energy of his own? My arm grounds me back in pain, blood gushing from my wound and seeping through my fingers wrapped around it.
But why would she do something like that?
She probably thought the lightning from earlier was similar to that of a titan. In ensuring that I wasn't one, it makes sense that she'd cut me since it'd trigger the change; I already had a clear motivation which was to melt the wall like I did before, so it wouldn't be out of the question to try. Catching me off guard would be the only way to have a result without any intervention, leaving out any other variables.
Still though, did she really think I was a titan?
Of course she did, she's a fucking scientist—she's got to consider all possibilities if she wants to discover the truth about me.
Levi turns to me, carefully taking the hand on my shoulder off before inspecting the cut.
"Shit, just your luck." He curses.
"It hit the scar, didn't it?" I nervously laugh.
"Yeah, it did." Levi grits his teeth, doing his best to address the wound.
I put a hand on top of his, "Levi, calm down. Hange's just trying to make sure there's nothing weird going on with me."
"Are you delusional? Something fucked up is wrong with you." He mutters.
"Well, she just needed to make sure that I wasn't a titan." I justify.
His brows crease further, "Wasn't that already fucking established?"
"Yeah, but the skies thundered, and lightning shot down. Lightning is the most common trait amongst shifting titans, so it's not out of the question." I calm him down, moving the hair that's beginning to stick to his face because of the rain out of the way. He initially nudges his head away from my hand subconsciously in hopes of avoiding the blood from my arm, but slowly returns to rest against it.
"Let's just get you inside." He ignores my compromise, slipping a hand underneath my legs and another behind my back.
I concede, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Okay, but first, make sure she's okay."
He calls over his shoulder, lifting me up, "Oi, you stupid labrat, can you move?"
"Yeah, I'm good!" She sings from behind him.
Levi turns to me, "You heard the lunatic—she's fine. We're getting you inside; the last thing we need is you catching a cold and passing out again."
"For once, I wouldn't mind not-dying." I smile.
"That'd be a change, wouldn't it?" He scoffs.
Once inside, Levi makes it a priority to get me in some warm clothes. It's understandable; he's trying to lower the chance of anything else happening to me. He isn't pleased about the soaking clothing we're in—probably because it's a little too clammy for him to handle. Although quiet, it's clear he's figuring out his own thoughts before speaking to me about anything.
The sparks ended long ago, but the tension resides in the air wherever I am. Once we're inside my room, he takes his shoes off and brings us to the washroom to grab some towels before placing one on the bed for me to sit on. Carefully, he sits me on the bed, wrapping the other towel around my shoulders before leaving to grab another towel from the washroom for himself. As he exits my washroom, he dries his face, ruffling his hair with the fabric before placing it next to me on the bed with a tin beside it.
He grabs a matchbox, striking the sides effortlessly before touching flame to wick. Light disrupts the dark room, challenging the moon's light entering from the window. The soft yellow hue outlines his jawline and exhausted features. His eyebags have worsened despite the lack of expeditions. My core twists, acknowledging his overprotective anxieties are at the root of it. I can't help but wonder if he's been having nightmares recently.
Levi's nightmares frequently strike during unoccupied periods or slow days in the Survey Corps. Levi doesn't actually enjoy being busy, rather, he enjoys the distraction from the experiences he's been unable to satisfyingly heal. I doubt he's taken time to process the death of his most recent squad and probably has grown attached to his new one already. Maybe that's why I love him. I softly smile at the man, observing him as he introduces light amongst the room using other candles situated around.
Levi isn't selfish—he holds a spirit of sacrifice.
Despite human's selfish nature, he gives when he can. He never accepts full credit for his incredible works, always acknowledging the blood spilled for his success. He gives to those in need, fostering a soft spot inside the core of his heart. Although usually misunderstood, it's clear his compliance is reserved for individuals he respects, refusing to concede to others outside of his safe circle. His blunt—or crude—behaviour isn't inherently fueled by hatred for others, rather, to provide clarity for others who struggle to see through the convoluted events of life.
Levi treasures the human existence, recognizing the most important factor of every single breathing creature. Although working alone most of the time on the battlefield, he trains his soldiers to the core in hopes of assuring their survival even if it's unlikely. Levi is not solely feared—he's respected so greatly because of his impressive deductive skills and raw power. No one questions him because he's already proven his capabilities without fault.
Levi is the definition of grit and creativity. No one I've laid eyes upon has displayed such perseverance or determination to move forward regardless of the past. Stoically, he's watched over my shoulder, supporting me with every single person I've lost without expecting anything in return. And yet, I feel as if I've only contributed to his stress and worries recently. I should really take our own advice and stop playing hero by involving myself in messes I can't be expected to fix on my own.
I'm only human—I can't fix every single situation in front of me and I'll have to manage my expectations; I'll have to trust my intuition and learn when it's acceptable for me to intervene. If I'm always injured, how can I help humanity when they need me the most? I suppose this most recent event doesn't count considering I did intervene when I needed to. As long as Levi stays alive, this world will have a glimmer of hope and may rest well knowing Humanity's Strongest always returns on top.
At least, that's the image we maintain so chaos doesn't erupt in the city.
"Oi," Levi presses a pointer finger into my forehead as usual, "Stop overthinking."
"Right, sorry."
I comfortably rest underneath the towel, ignoring the slight shivers in my hands from being apart from the warmth coming from Levi's chest moments ago. Trailing his figure once more, I watch Levi reach into my drawers, pulling out clothes for me to change into. Waiting here, it's difficult to feel anything but useless and incapable; I'm disgruntled that Levi takes care of me all the time. I can't believe I went from never getting hurt, to being ruined every single expedition.
"Those cadet corps brats are turning this place upside down, aren't they?" Levi rhetorically makes conversation.
"I was just thinking about that." I answer.
He returns, standing in front of me with folded clothes, "Can you lift your arms?"
Observing my arm, I already know the answer, "Maybe not."
He clicks his tongue, placing the laundry next to me and the box, "You and your damn injuries."
I sheepishly smile, "Sorry..."
Quietly and gently, Levi hooked his fingertips around the hem of my shirt, glancing up at me quickly, "Is this okay?"
I nod, giving permission for his action.
He pulls the wet fabric clinging to my skin up, undressing me with caution as to avoid the cuts on my left arm. In doing so, Levi turns his head while I change my undergarments, politely engaging in despair with the dust hiding between the cracks of my walls. With his help, I'm able to change into comfortable clothing which is undeniably better. Afterwards, he addresses my wounds, using an antiseptic before bandaging the jagged cuts which haven't scarred completely yet.
"Levi, you should change first before you finish bandaging me." I say with concern, watching raindrops drip from his clothes.
He passively addresses me, "That can wait."
There's no changing Levi's mind, so I let him do what he wishes. Soon enough, he's finished and wraps my blanket around my shoulders, slightly tugging the ends in front of me as he stands.
Grabbing the cloth he laid on the side earlier, Levi straightens his posture, "I'm going to change and then I'll be back. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."
I nod, watching him close the door quietly behind him.
Finally alone, I nuzzle into the blanket further, hoping to fill the presence Levi took with him. Dazing off into the flickering candlelight on the wardrobe, I find solitary peace for a moment. Although I'm nowhere near warm, its dancing flame entertains me while awaiting Levi's return. In all honesty, I'm surprised Levi mentioned he'd be returning; there's nothing else for him to do for me and he might as well get some rest since we've got loads of preparations in place for tomorrow.
I doubt that he'd actually sleep anyway, but it'd be good for him to lie down and enjoy the quiet of the night. Thankfully, he claimed he completed all the paperwork Erwin requested, so now he's just been waking up and training. I can't believe he actually put in the effort to do mine either, but I keep forgetting to say thank you.
Everything recently has happened so quickly; I'm barely keeping up with the new information I'm learning about myself and the new plans. Time doesn't stop for anyone, and it definitely will not wait for me to catch up. These past weeks have emphasized how vulnerable I really am as an individual; if someone wishes to, they'll be able to stop me if they have the means or drive to do so. What's more frightening is that if they want to hurt those I love, they'll use the same means to hurt them.
So, for those I care about, I need to hurry up with this recovery and learn how to use my abilities to ensure no more casualties happen to those I love. I don't ever want to see one of my kids suffering at someone else's hand because my incompetence prevented me from taking action.
But what I don't understand is...why would another state despise our existence to the extent of sending those titan shifters towards us? No rational being would wish harm upon another unless severe mental illness was involved, and no society would be so mentally unhealthy that they'd all believe in killing us for no reason. Why is it that we have no recollection of them? Why would the first King deprive us of such imperative information?
Did our ancestors commit a heinous crime beyond forgiveness?
Does a sin like that even exist?
The door opens, "I'm back."
Levi greets me, shutting the door with his heel. The grey sweatpants and white shirt he's wearing are defined by the flickering lights. I follow his body across the room, essentially drooling at the sight in front of me. His back is accentuated clearly and the shape of his thighs are outlined magnificently.
He's holding a tray with a tea set, placing it on my desk, filling two cups before sitting down on my bed. Handing me one, he adjusted himself comfortably, stretching his neck by rotating it in a semi-circle. The warmth transcends the porcelain's craft, gifting me what I'd been missing. The scent is overwhelmingly pleasant, my senses immediately recognizing the aroma and I shift to face him.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" I softly chime.
"Yeah."
I lean forwards slightly in gratitude, putting the cup up to my lips, "Thank you."
The hot liquid grants me a loving hug from the inside out, overwhelming all doubt in my body with a refreshing wave of bliss.
"Ah," I sigh in a relaxed state, "This feeling justifies the price."
Levi finishes his sip, "Yellow Gold makes even a bastard experience life as a King."
"No kidding." I mumble in a haze, swirling the liquid in the cup before finishing it.
Holding the empty porcelain closer to my lap, I can't help but wonder, "Why didn't you finish the tea while I was gone?"
Levi leans forward, resting his forearm on his thigh, "Felt wrong."
Giving him my empty cup, I lay down, feeling the effects of the tea.
I pat the right side of me, knowing it'd hurt like a bitch to lay on my left to face him because of my wound. Levi finishes his cup, placing both on the desk before sliding in between the wall and myself. Once again, like that night many days ago, we lay in a comfortable silence. Except this time, the Yellow Gold's clarifying nature graces me with the ability to focus on every single feature of God's favourite creation. And this time, we're no longer laying platonically.
Instead of asking, Levi turns to face me, rolling onto his left side, propping himself up. He places his right arm on the back of my head, softly kissing my hairline before flopping back into the soft pillows. My cheeks flush red as I'm capable of feeling every single neurotransmitter rushing through my entire body, courtesy of the tea.
"How's your arm?" Levi lovingly questions, gently brushing his hands atop the bandages he wrapped earlier.
My eyes soften at his blank expression, "It's good."
His right brow quirks up slightly from its creased expression, "Good?"
"Yeah, good." A soft smile grazes my lips.
"How'd you go from it hurting like a bitch to good? Are you lying to me?" He presses.
I shake my head, taking hold of his right hand with my own, placing it on my cheek.
"It's good because you're here." I embarrassingly admit.
His features soften before he exhales, tilting his head down, hiding part of his sheepish expression.
"Come here, scissor-hands."
I whine softly, "I told you to stop calling me that!"
Nevertheless, I shuffle towards him, feeling his left arm cuddle underneath my neck, finding itself in my hair while his right rests in the curvature of my waist. With my head buried in his chest, my heart pounds against its ribcage doing its best to keep it from exploding. Being so close to him, I too can feel his heartbeat. Despite his cool, slightly flushed exterior, Levi's heart is screaming to be freed just like mine.
Our legs tangle, almost as if we're afraid of being any further apart. Levi's left-hand rakes through my hair with care, comforting me more than he'll ever know. My eyes water, feeling so incredibly wholesome. My chest feels like bursting, and my head feels light in the best way possible. I engrain the type of fabric he's wearing and the way he smells into my memory in desperation that I'll never forget this moment's clarity.
"We'll be okay." Levi's voice is firm, but delicate.
His confident words release the built-up emotions inside me, and I dig my face into his chest further. I silently sniffle while my hand finds a hold on his shirt. No more would I have to fight alone in this painful world, I officially have someone as my own. I don't need Levi to ask a question to acknowledge his commitment—I couldn't possibly ask him to find those words to say after all that's happened.
The fact he's in my bed holding me is sufficient enough for me to understand he'd never go against the unspoken commitment we've made to each other. Levi's head rests above mine comfortably and soon I recognize the soft breathing from him. In surprise, I shuffle slightly to look above me, finding his eyes closed. Part of his hair is tucked behind his ear, and the rest scatters carelessly across my pillowcase. His lips are parted slightly, lightly drawing breaths in for his lungs.
"I was thinking about a cottage." I softly propose.
"Hm?" He lazily inquires.
"You know, a wooden cottage near some trees and free land--a place to be once we stop fighting outside the walls."
I pause before continuing, "We could have a small garden, and maybe we could grow our own plants and tea leaves too--maybe start up a tea shop and figure out things from there."
"How'd you know I'd want a tea shop? Did you look through my memories again?" He asks, slightly agitated.
I shake my head slightly, "No; this time it was just intuition because...I think I'd love to run a family business with you!"
Levi stiffens slightly, "A family business, huh."
It's quiet for a while before he breaks the silence again, "...does this mean we get to import any type of tea that we want?"
"Yes, Levi, we can import any tea that you want." I giggle softly.
"Alright, I'll think about it."
And with the end of our conversation, I soften into his hold, nuzzling into him as close as I can. Regardless of what the world brings tomorrow, I can confidently declare tonight that Levi Ackerman rests asleep with me next to him; I can confidently say for the first time that Humanity's Strongest no longer rests alone, but with someone else who loves him by his side.
The candles flicker softly, but I'm too lazy to get up and put them out, especially since they're already in safe places. The blood no longer pools in my cheeks, my heart returning to a steady beat. Quietly, I shuffle slightly in hopes of stealing his warmth and with heavy limbs, drooping eyes, and deeper breaths, my body gives into another night of sleep.
And unbeknownst to both of us, the tea goes cold.